Worst Thing to say on your Personal Statement?

[Asclepius]

---

Members don't see this ad.

Originally posted by ColoradoCCT
You got a purty mouth.....

This was the first thing that occured to me when I saw this thread title...what are the chances someone else thought the same...

other options:

"Deon Warwick told me I was gonna do it. So anyway, you don't have much choice in the matter either."

 

[Moskeeto]

Originally posted by ColoradoCCT
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself

Applicant: Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup marry Chumperdink in chalf an hour.

I had to read this ten times before I got it. One of the best movies ever made, damn now I want to go out and buy it on DVD.

 

[Tamomo]

Aside from my inherent superiority to all the common creatons that inhabit this world; my father's generous contribution of one million dollars will make any further examination of my application or interview a moot point. In this regard, you will have the pleasure of my presence at your unworthy medical school for the next four years. Oh yes, and make sure during clinical rotations I am not in contact with the diseased vermon called patients.

 

[jackjinju]

"I've wanted to become a doctor ever since I was abducted by aliens, and they planted a chip in my brain which keeps telling me that everyone is laughing at me, and the only way to stop the laughing is to become a doctor."

 

[skiracer123]

The question is, "Why do I want to be a doctor?" Which makes me wonder if this...Interviewer, has any idea as to the kind of grades one must receive in college, to get on the dean's list at my university? Or if you have the vaguest clue about how talented someone must be to get a 32 on the MCATS? I have an Bachelor's Degree in Biology. I have volunteered hundreds of hours in the local emergency room. I have been awarded citations from seven different comunity service organizations at my highschool and I am never, ever sick at sea. So I ask you; when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that their bedpans are clean or that their lab results are transported quickly or that their mother has breakfast brought to her hospital room right on time every morning, who do you think they're praying to? Now you go ahead and read your bible--and you go to your church and with any luck you might even win the annual raffle. But if you're looking for God, he was in the library, studying O-Chem on November 17th, and he doesn't like being second guessed. You want to know if I have a God complex? Let me tell you something--I AM GOD.

or maybe,

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a gangster - ****, doctor, I meant doctor.

 

[group_theory]

Originally posted by tms
As I walk the hallowed halls in my white coat, I will have no problem condesending to those of obvious lower intellectual, and therefore financial and social, stature. You undoubtingly understand I am refering to the hospital support staff including nurses, techs, the dirty janitors, and, yes, the fearsome, retiree volunteers who often confuse the limited wisdom of their meager lives with intellectual capacity. I will enjoy mingling with colleagues at golf matches and cosmopolitan pubs, all while indulging in the sinful lifestyles we so richly deserve. I look forward to exerting my (male) dominance on all of the attractive female members of the nursing staff while simutaneously ridiculing the male, and obviously homosexual, members of the same mentioned group....

BUMP!!!

 

[Idiopathic]

True story:

High-class interviewer:"What do you think you want to do?"

Idiopathic: "I think I want to do pediatric oncology."

High-class interviewer: "Well, you know that cancer will probably be cured by the time you get done. what do you expect to do then?"

Idiopathic: "..............................Well, I guess that I hope it isnt cured by then."

DOH!

 

[Idiopathic]

Originally posted by skiracer123
The question is, "Why do I want to be a doctor?" Which makes me wonder if this...Interviewer, has any idea as to the kind of grades one must receive in college, to get on the dean's list at my university? Or if you have the vaguest clue about how talented someone must be to get a 32 on the MCATS? I have an Bachelor's Degree in Biology. I have volunteered hundreds of hours in the local emergency room. I have been awarded citations from seven different comunity service organizations at my highschool and I am never, ever sick at sea. So I ask you; when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that their bedpans are clean or that their lab results are transported quickly or that their mother has breakfast brought to her hospital room right on time every morning, who do you think they're praying to? Now you go ahead and read your bible--and you go to your church and with any luck you might even win the annual raffle. But if you're looking for God, he was in the library, studying O-Chem on November 17th, and he doesn't like being second guessed. You want to know if I have a God complex? Let me tell you something--I AM GOD.

or maybe,

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a gangster - ****, doctor, I meant doctor.

Let me tell you...this just might be the funniest post I have ever read...kudos to you, skiracer...wherever you may be

 

[supersunny]

Originally posted by skiracer123
The question is, "Why do I want to be a doctor?" Which makes me wonder if this...Interviewer, has any idea as to the kind of grades one must receive in college, to get on the dean's list at my university? Or if you have the vaguest clue about how talented someone must be to get a 32 on the MCATS? I have an Bachelor's Degree in Biology. I have volunteered hundreds of hours in the local emergency room. I have been awarded citations from seven different comunity service organizations at my highschool and I am never, ever sick at sea. So I ask you; when someone goes into that chapel and they fall on their knees and they pray to God that their bedpans are clean or that their lab results are transported quickly or that their mother has breakfast brought to her hospital room right on time every morning, who do you think they're praying to? Now you go ahead and read your bible--and you go to your church and with any luck you might even win the annual raffle. But if you're looking for God, he was in the library, studying O-Chem on November 17th, and he doesn't like being second guessed. You want to know if I have a God complex? Let me tell you something--I AM GOD.

that's the funniest thing i've read all week

 

[kmnfive]

wasnt that a quote from Malice?

 

[Childe]

"I know you bastards dont read these so go to hell! **** you stupid adcom dinguses! I dont want to go to your lame-ass medical school anyway!"



"Since I know I will get accepted to at least 10 schools, I dont really care what you think of me."

 

[AverageMan]

The last book I read was "Mein Kampf". I believe the author had some very insightful outlooks on life.

 

[MBA_Doc]

Medical school appeals to me, because I've tried everything else and failed.

 

[Stranger]

Q: Why do you want to be a doctor?

A: I don't want to be a f***ing doctor. My daddy is filthy f***ing rich, but he won't keep feeding money to my sorry a$$ unless I'm doing something "worthwhile". He's really old, so I figure I'll just keep this up until he dies, then quit med school and live off the inheritance.

 

[dan0909]

Originally posted by Moskeeto
Damn it, its these kinds of threads that make me wish I was witty and original. O well, you guys are funny.

That WAS witty and funny!

 

[greggth]

Originally posted by wisdom2000
Interviewer: So why do you want to be a doctor?

Applicant: Well, it's pretty much a family thing. My dad is a doctor, and so was my grandpa. You know, what's a little guy to do. You wouldn't want to mess with family tradition now, would you?

This one actually might work, with a little modification.

 

[Cafepinay]

"Um, I was web-browsing, found studentdoctor.net, and checked out the forums...I liked a lot of other posters' reasons for pursuing medicine, and I thought, yeah I agree with that, that too, and definitely that. Took the words outta my mouth. I like going to the residency forums because that's where I feel the closest to actually being in medicine. Sometimes I stay up for many hours at a time just to feel what they feel. One day I'll post there, one day! Just gimme a chance!"

"I started crying from a story of one SDN student's experiences and I thought, this is it."

"Is it ok to submit LORs from **insert screen names here**"

 

[deleted6669]

in previous lives I have been the physician for alexander the great, president lincoln, and elvis and they all died, so I figure I need one more chance to get it right.....

 

[*hopefully*]

I feel it is my civil duty to become a plastic surgeon, so I can rid the world of ugly, pot-bellied, flat chested women.

 

[peterockduke]

Because it's easier to imagine old people naked when they're wearing those flimsy, see-through gowns...

I can finally get my drugs without having to go through those pesky "dealers"....

 

[R_C_Hutchinson]

not mine, but i think its fuggin hilarious (in a "lecterian" sort of way)

"I wanna be a doctor because then when people wake up on my basement floor without feet, they'll be doubly surprised"

ha! ha! ha!
or 9-1-1...
i really dont know

 

[vigils]

"I want to be a doctor becuase I want to help people."

 

[NontradICUdoc]

hmmmmm......

Well, I love sex and the morgue is chock full of people who won't complain....or talk.

So, I figured, what the heck lets be a doctor.😀



yeah, yeah,....I know, sick....real sick....😛

 

[GibbsDuhem]

"I love the smell of urine and feces in the morning. It reminds me of home."

 

[donnyfire]

"I spent most of the time drunk. When I was sober, I pretty much just kept my head planted firmly up my rectum, and didn't do anything really all that productive."

 

[Spacekat]

" I want to thank you for being my safety school. It's really important that you admit me in case the really good places don't let me in."

 

[group_theory]

bump

 

[Disenchanted 1]

"I have drawn the conclusion that I got into yale after those miserable grades in high school, thanks to daddy's money and influence. Now Its just a given fact that I will also easily go into medical school. After all its not like you even hold a reputation close to yale but also I thought you could use some of daddy's money. Additionally I figured you wouldn't want to miss out on a chance to admitting the daughter of one of America's most influential people. I realize the benefits of my presence in your school far outweigh my interest in yours. Thus, I strongly suggest that we forego the interview step and just go head and hand over the acceptance letter."

Heck, I just realized this could work for Barbara Bush !!

 

[Bernardo_11]

My god... these are totally hilarious.


"My interest in medicine began with the deaths of many of my relatives from Prostate Cancer. My thoughts, we need to get to this disease as early as possible. Thus began my crusade of routine rectal exams on five yr old boys."

 

[OnMyWayThere]

I'd leave this out:

After my girlfriends breast augmentation, I found myself using all of the Vicodin and Percocet she was prescribed. Once I ran through all of her refills, I knew I needed to make a move. It was rob pharmacies for the rest of my life, or get a license. If you accept me to your medical school, not only stop many pharmacies from getting robbed, but you will allow me to fulfill my drug habit without harming others.

 

[Superwuwu]

Well, my closest friends, who happen to be crack heads have always encouraged to get a MD.

 

[exgatr]

Originally posted by emedpa
in previous lives I have been the physician for alexander the great, president lincoln, and elvis and they all died, so I figure I need one more chance to get it right.....

I think this would actually work in an interview.

 

[KarateGirl]

I need to go to medical school because one of my other personalities is a doctor, and I keep finding myself in the middle of an operating room with an unconscious body open on the table and a bunch of people staring at me and I have no idea what to do. It's getting to be a real problem. Downright embarrassing, actually.