What? An M4’s who is 26-27 can be making $300k+ in 3-4 years. That isn’t exactly a long-con or a risky con (not that being attracted to someone with financial means is even a con to begin with). Sure there might be some “gold diggers” who want the $80k car NOW, but there are also plenty of people who are fine with waiting 3-4 years to enjoy that sweet physician paycheck for the next 30 years.
And in regards to debt, 25% of US MD grads have ZERO education debt (undergrad+medical school), another 20% have less than $150k. And then even for the remaining 55%, a true gold digger will just push for 10-20 year repayment with most of the household income being spent and not saved. That still works out to being a lavish lifestyle in any scenario outside of a NYC pediatrician.
This part especially warrants a
"Gold digging" isn't a real thing anymore. Those women want a sugar daddy, which means they want one today and they'll have a set arrangement. And the type of spending they demand far exceeds what most doctors can afford, depending on how attractive they are.
No one is going to date someone they aren't attracted to so that in 7-8 years - they can have a lavish lifestyle. I say 7-8 because no one is buying a mansion/ exotic sports car straight out of residency.
I think you're talking about how you think it goes rather than how things actually go.
Hmm smells a little troll-y…
…okay then.
Just for others reading, $300k in debt and $200k is disingenuous because less than 15% of medical students have >$300k debt and $190k was the 25th percentile total comp for general peds for MGMA 3 years ago (MGMA is deflated and peds is the lowest paid residency). A more fair statement would be $300k salary and $200k debt, which 98% of Americans and 99.9% of the world would love to have.
Never mind the fact that $200k is 90th percentile family income in the US and $300k debt with that salary can easily be paid off in 10 years (and 3-4 years if 0 debt is your priority).
But do you actually have any proof that doctors (in 2021, not the 1980s) attract "gold diggers"? I can tell you for a fact that in 2021, women who are into getting money from guys in exchange for some sort of benefit are findings other ways to do it (onlyfans, seeking arrangement etc) and not pseudodating someone. I can also tell you that there are a lot of single doctors who have a hard time with getting dates, which shouldn't happen in a world where money and being a physician attracts gold diggers. The vast majority of the time, you still need to spike physical and also emotional attraction.
Can I just say it?
For you as a male, this is something of relatively less concern. As a male attending in a surgical specialty, you will be a hot commodity in a few years. Do watch out for gold diggers, but one decent way to get rid of them is to mention that you have debt (if you do), or just how busy you are, or the risk associated with your occupation (lawsuits etc). People who are truly invested will want to make it work despite the challenges, while other will fall away once they understand being a doctor is not all sunshine and roses.
For better or for worse, society is still relatively sexist, and a female’s relationship prospects dwindle with age, while men’s does less so. Women’s looks (unfortunately) are a big part of their perceived attractiveness, and those decline with age. For men this applies less. Women’s fertility also declines with age, which is a whole other reason why women in medicine get the short end of the stick.
Finally, there is less stigma with men dating partners younger than them while for women there definitely is, so as you age your dating pool doesn’t narrow as much.
I think the only possible issue is that if you are 30 and you have *never* had a relationship potential partners may wonder if there is something more “wrong” with you than just being busy with your career. Not much to be done there except just go with the flow and date of you feel a strong attraction, but no need to force anything.
Being a surgeon doesn't give you a big one up in dating. It helps marginally. Important to know because high expectations = major disappointment later.
It's also untrue that men's looks do not matter as much. Outdated theory. A 45 year old woman can still go on a dating app and have hundreds of matches nearby. A 35 year old male will still have to work hard to have a few options here and there. And it gets even worse when that guy hits 45. Men's looks also decline, their hair falls out and they gain body fat. The last one you can control but the first two you cannot. And lack of physical attraction is a hard deal breaker for nearly all women.
Although, I feel I need to introduce a caveat in the interest of injecting more absurdity into this conversation.
Some gold diggers are tenacious. Where I come from, there is a saying, “if you want to be a general’s wife, you have to nab him as a lieutenant.” In medicine, if you want to marry a doctor, you need to date a Med student.
Interesting. If you go on nursing forums, they have lots of threads on avoiding those in medicine for dating purposes. And the fact that these threads even exist repeatedly is pretty solid proof that it doesn't carry the status symbol it did years ago.
We have some very attractive RNs at my hospital who are obsessed with the few very good looking guys who work here (and wanting to date them). This includes a male RN, a PT and yes a resident too. On the other hand, they completely disregard the younger single surgeons who happen to be average looking.
