Would You Wait a Year to Apply with Your SO?

[Algophiliac]

Just curious. One of my friends is actually in this position, and he agreed to wait a year for his gf to finish her pre-reqs and take the MCAT before applying to med schools, and didn't think it was a huge issue. Of course, this is SDN, so I'm guessing the statistics will be different.

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[NickNaylor]

Depends a LOT on the dynamics of the relationship and the individuals themselves. Do I get to a school I would be really happy at? Is it my first choice? Is it my last choice? What happens if she doesn't get in? How do we even agree on which schools we're willing to go to? You can't really simplify it that easily.

I say this as someone who is accepted to the medical school his SO is bound to go to through an early acceptance program but doesn't want to go. Her school isn't my first choice... it's a good school, sure, but it's a much more difficult decision than you would think. I imagine most people will say to go where you want to go, and the relationship will survive "if it's meant to be" (whatever that means).

 

[emsdan]

I did wait a year for the SO to finish her degree so that we could apply to the same cities together (she is doing a fairly rare masters program so I just applied to schools in the area's where she could go). In the time off, we became engaged, enjoyed a break from school, made some money, and I do not regret my decision.

If we were not serious at the time of that decision though, I would probably not have waited. I think that needs to be the main factor in a decision like this. You can say the "if it's meant to be..." but relationships are about compromise. I think the general feeling here that people would not wait (I say this assuming serious relationships that could/will most definitely lead to marriage) is the reason many doctors are working in great jobs but are divorced/single and unhappy.

 

[LuciusVorenus]

It depends a lot on the relationship. When I apply my significant other and I will have been together for 7 years, so of course I'll wait (actually she's technically waiting for me because I'm the one that needed 5 years so she just ended up double majoring to stay an extra year).

Would I wait for someone I've dated for 6 months? Eh :/

 

[Algophiliac]

Depends a LOT on the dynamics of the relationship and the individuals themselves. Do I get to a school I would be really happy at? Is it my first choice? Is it my last choice? What happens if she doesn't get in? How do we even agree on which schools we're willing to go to? You can't really simplify it that easily.

I say this as someone who is accepted to the medical school his SO is bound to go to through an early acceptance program but doesn't want to go. Her school isn't my first choice... it's a good school, sure, but it's a much more difficult decision than you would think. I imagine most people will say to go where you want to go, and the relationship will survive "if it's meant to be" (whatever that means).

Hmmm, well, I realize specifications would be necessary to make this more equal, but I was hoping for opinions from people in their current relationships (or lack thereof) and situations.

But, feel free to assume your relationship is very serious and you would have to spend that year quite far apart until (and if) your SO was accepted to your school or to a nearby med school.

I would probably wait a year, because the relationship is a serious one, but I don't want to skew the votes yet.

emsdan, I agree with you completely. Relationships are entirely about compromise, and I have been in several selfish relationships that could not be serious, simply because the focus was not on the relationship itself.

 

[rhesuspieces]

waiting a year would make doing a couples match a possibility.

I'm just happy my SO isn't in medicine

 

[Renaissance Man]

Sure, I'd wait. It is only a year difference, I would make some cash to put away, and enjoy a relatively stress free time. Medical school will still be there in a year, unless you apply in 2012, in which case, the Mayans will laugh at you

 

[MilkmanAl]

Rephrase the question to "Would you pay $150k or more to apply with your SO?" and see what responses you get. That's basically what you're asking. Given how bizarre med school admission can be, there's no way I'd take the risk. Unless both of you are just freaking perfect, there's a pretty darn good chance your respective acceptance(s) won't have a school or city in common, regardless of when you apply.

 

[Ursa]

waiting a year would make doing a couples match a possibility.

Can you tell me what a couples match is?

Also, I have a situation that might be of interest to the OP. Last year I had only one interview at a DO school and I was accepted. This school was my last choice, the only DO school I applied to, and I honestly don't know why I applied because I was thinking all along that I would not attend even if this was my only acceptance. However, when the situation came up, it wasn't as easy to turn down as I anticipated it would be. The decision ultimately was made because my SO would not have been in the same city, so I turned it down and reapplied. My SO is applying for PA school, so this year we applied to common cities for our schools. So far, I have received 6 interviews and do not regret my decision to reapply. We will be getting engaged soon, so I am very thankful for how things have fallen into place for my gap year, not to mention I am having a good time relaxing and growing our relationship. In the grand scheme of things, one year is nothing. Hope this helps!

 

[musafirah]

Rephrase the question to "Would you pay $150k or more to apply with your SO?" and see what responses you get. That's basically what you're asking.

huh? i guess you mean tuition, wouldn't you be paying that if you go to med school regardless of if you go with your SO or not? all youre really doing is losing a year of making money to pay back..


anyway its not unusual in serious relationships for couples to do this (its also not uncommon to try to have a long dist relationship if you want to be together despite not being in the same place for a few years.. it sucks but its been done no matter how cynically you wanna look at it).. i also know one girl that took a year off while in med school to do research JUST so her fiance could catch up and be the same year since he started a year later.

I'm just happy my SO isn't in medicine

true DAT! high five

 

[musafirah]

wow ursa you seem kinda..obsessed..with texas

 

[MilkmanAl]

I mean the year of lost salary. One year might not make a huge deal when considered over an entire career, but it sure as hell makes a big difference in the short term. It's especially significant for people like me who carried a large amount of debt out of undergrad. Even without debt, though, I wouldn't wait.

 

[Ursa]

wow ursa you seem kinda..obsessed..with texas

as you can see im my signature, Texas is an obsession....so it's acceptable

 

[Ursa]

I mean the year of lost salary. One year might not make a huge deal when considered over an entire career, but it sure as hell makes a big difference in the short term. It's especially significant for people like me who carried a large amount of debt out of undergrad. Even without debt, though, I wouldn't wait.

question for mr. milkman: Are you married or do you plan to be one day? If yes, then would you trade spending a year with them for 150k? Sounds like a lot of money, but there's not a price you can put on spending quality time with your SO.

 

[45408]

I mean the year of lost salary. One year might not make a huge deal when considered over an entire career, but it sure as hell makes a big difference in the short term. It's especially significant for people like me who carried a large amount of debt out of undergrad. Even without debt, though, I wouldn't wait.

Make sure you're taking out the appropriate amount of taxes and increased spending for your unnecessarily large house and car.

I voted yes.

 

[eablackwell]

question for mr. milkman: Are you married or do you plan to be one day? If yes, then would you trade spending a year with them for 150k? Sounds like a lot of money, but there's not a price you can put on spending quality time with your SO.

My husband and I are about 6 months into a 2 year stint apart. I miss him all the time, but we video chat everyday (and see each other at least once a month). We chose to do it this way for about the equivalent of 80k in savings for med school. Less than 150k, but I think we made the right choice.

I know once I start med school next year I'll have less time to devote to the long distance relationship (and he knows that too), but I can't honestly see not having 15-30 minutes a day to schedule a video chat.

Long distance is hard, but it's not necessarily the end of a relationship.

 

[DrYoda]

Nope.

 

[eablackwell]

*gasp* I'm female! :cry:

 

[MilkmanAl]

question for mr. milkman: Are you married or do you plan to be one day? If yes, then would you trade spending a year with them for 150k? Sounds like a lot of money, but there's not a price you can put on spending quality time with your SO.

No, yes, and it isn't a question of spending time with them. You're trying to plan something that isn't "plannable," and that just isn't all that smart, especially considering you're sacrificing a year to do it.

 

[Ursa]

No, yes, and it isn't a question of spending time with them. You're trying to plan something that isn't "plannable," and that just isn't all that smart, especially considering you're sacrificing a year to do it.

I would disagree that it isn't "plannable" because it seems like there have been people who have waited a year and ended up in the same city because of it. And they planned that! Anywho, agreeing to disagree is acceptable as well. To each his own is what I always say!

 

[emsdan]

Rephrase the question to "Would you pay $150k or more to apply with your SO?" and see what responses you get. That's basically what you're asking. Given how bizarre med school admission can be, there's no way I'd take the risk. Unless both of you are just freaking perfect, there's a pretty darn good chance your respective acceptance(s) won't have a school or city in common, regardless of when you apply.

I think that couples applying together might have an advantage over singles, all other things being equal, because of this. Schools like to accept people who will go there, and accepting a couple is a fairly good method of this (in theory at least). We have 2 married couples in our class, and I think they both had multiple options due to this thinking by various schools.

 

[LuciusVorenus]

Can you tell me what a couples match is?

This is going to be kind of half-assed because I'm not too familiar with the match, but from what I know it's when you apply to residencies as a single unit (they accept both of you or neither of you). Engaged/married couples do it so they can work in the same hospital during their residencies. One of the reason's I decided to wait! A 7 year relationship is a serious time/emotional investment, and I'm not about to throw that away for 180K.

 

[LuciusVorenus]

I think that couples applying together might have an advantage over singles, all other things being equal, because of this. Schools like to accept people who will go there, and accepting a couple is a fairly good method of this (in theory at least). We have 2 married couples in our class, and I think they both had multiple options due to this thinking by various schools.

Do they only do this with married couples? What about engaged couples (if it's really obvious that the two people know each other/are probably engaged).

 

[Ursa]

This is going to be kind of half-assed because I'm not too familiar with the match, but from what I know it's when you apply to residencies as a single unit (they accept both of you or neither of you). Engaged/married couples do it so they can work in the same hospital during their residencies. One of the reason's I decided to wait! A 7 year relationship is a serious time/emotional investment, and I'm not about to throw that away for 180K.

Gotcha...I thought the match that was being talked about was the Texas match for med schools.

 

[DrYoda]

Do they only do this with married couples? What about engaged couples (if it's really obvious that the two people know each other/are probably engaged).

Engaged couples can do it to.


(you could do it with your bff if you really wanted).

 

[Narmerguy]

Rephrase the question to "Would you pay $150k or more to apply with your SO?" and see what responses you get. That's basically what you're asking. Given how bizarre med school admission can be, there's no way I'd take the risk. Unless both of you are just freaking perfect, there's a pretty darn good chance your respective acceptance(s) won't have a school or city in common, regardless of when you apply.

Right because that's the most important thing in life Going to med school as soon as possible to start earning every last one of them Benjamins. I assume your theory also asserts that there's no good excuse for taking time off for anything before applying to medical school unless they'd be willing to pay $150K+ for it.

Even if we were going to assume your argument was true, $150k+ lost at the end of my career is not the same thing as paying $150K now. In fact, $150K in 30-40 years is nowhere close to $150K in present money. But that's economics garbage.

 

[Parts Unknown]

Just curious. One of my friends is actually in this position, and he agreed to wait a year for his gf to finish her pre-reqs and take the MCAT before applying to med schools, and didn't think it was a huge issue. Of course, this is SDN, so I'm guessing the statistics will be different.

Perhaps she's freaky in the sack. You can mourn the loss of that for years.

 

[Dmannn]

Going to be some real lonely docs in here

 

[MilkmanAl]

I assume your theory also asserts that there's no good excuse for taking time off for anything before applying to medical school unless they'd be willing to pay $150K+ for it.

Uh...yes? I don't really see why that's a bad way to approach it. If chilling out for a year and doing whatever is worth the monetary loss to you, go for it.

Even if we were going to assume your argument was true, $150k+ lost at the end of my career is not the same thing as paying $150K now.

No, but it's an extra year near the beginning of your career that you can enjoy being debt-free and having an excellent income to use as you please. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.

 

[Westonski]

My SO is going into vet medicine so I think waiting for the sake of couples match or something like that is off the table... lawl

 

[LuciusVorenus]

Uh...yes? I don't really see why that's a bad way to approach it. If chilling out for a year and doing whatever is worth the monetary loss to you, go for it.

No, but it's an extra year near the beginning of your career that you can enjoy being debt-free and having an excellent income to use as you please. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.

 

[Ursa]

Uh...yes? I don't really see why that's a bad way to approach it. If chilling out for a year and doing whatever is worth the monetary loss to you, go for it.

No, but it's an extra year near the beginning of your career that you can enjoy being debt-free and having an excellent income to use as you please. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.

I think what you mean is it will be an extra year near the middle of your career. Don't plan on paying off your debt near the beginning...every Dr (in many different specialties) that I've talked to have said it takes a good 7-10 years to pay off debt.

 

[MacVA]

What happens if you SO fails their first year and you cannot couples match?

What happens if your SO ends up married to your Anatomy partner?

*True stories*

 

[addo]

What does SO stand for? Am I completely out of the loop?

 

[Geekchick921]

waiting a year would make doing a couples match a possibility.

I'm just happy my SO isn't in medicine

Word. Geekhusband's job is actually in the process of going work-from-home, which sounds amazing once I'm in residency and our oldest (currently only) starts grade school.

Engaged couples can do it to.


(you could do it with your bff if you really wanted).

Yup!

What does SO stand for? Am I completely out of the loop?

Significant other.