Write your own rejection letter (2009-2010 cycle)

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yearn4ivy

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I took this idea from an old thread that was several years old and several pages too long.

If the wound of rejection is still fresh, I apologize. I do not mean to seem insensitive.

To the rest, let's begin this cathartic process:

This thread is dedicated to all the schools that have rejected your candidacy. It is also dedicated to all the nonrolling schools that you have not heard from, but you are 90% confident it is game over. Finally, it is dedicated to all the schools that place you on any type of hold or worse, waitlist....then BAM, you are rejected.

I'll begin.

Dear year4ivy,

It is still beyond me how you received our AUTOMATIC secondary application.

Blame it on the alcohol
(Really, one of the admission's staff has a drinking problem).

Good luck in life,
Dean J. Foxx

P.S. In the spirit of full disclosure, your candidacy has been rejected.
 
march 15, 2010

dear dw2158,

we actually tossed you into the "don't interview/reject" pile sometime in late september, but we're just now getting around to sending you a rejection letter. we hope you weren't actually entertaining thoughts of coming to our school.

we don't know who came up with the phrase "no news is good news," but we sure are sorry that s.o.b.'s wisdom may have led you to believe you still had a chance with us over the last six months.

sincerely,
yale/penn
 
Dear Teenmachinery1,


No.

Better luck next cycle.



Best regards,

Your superior.
 
May 15, 2010
Dear DntStopBelievin,

You must be reading this letter with the utmost excitement. Why wouldn't you? This is one of the best institutions in the nation. Anyone would give their left kidney to get in here.

After breezing through your application we deem you unfit for our institution. In fact, we encourage you to StopBelievin. Truth is, we just waited until now to reject you so that your $100 supplemental fee would be worth the little hope you had as you waited patiently everyday at the mailbox for 6 months.

We hope you have a backup plan, or a safety school. I heard carribean MD school applications arent due til June 2010. You'll definitely get in there!

I hope this letter does not cause you any pain or depression. You'll get over it, most of them do.

Best regards,
Dean DntStopRejectin.
 
Dear Red10,

After throwing darts at over 6,000 applications, we regret to inform you that none of our darts hit your application. The applicant pool this year has been very competitive and many people printed their application on bigger paper than yours. Thank you again for applying, your $75 application fee provided us with ample amount of beer which we drank before throwing the darts.

Good luck (*hic*)
UofInsertState Admissions
 
Dear Steeler7588,

Congratulations! We decided to copy Michigan this year and deliver you the good news in video form. Please click here for your acceptance.
Haha, we got you, how hilarious! You're actually rejected. There were many more qualified applicants ahead of you and it wasn't even close.
Better luck elsewhere, bitch!

With love,
Dean Astley
 
Last edited:
Dear cweave16,

Thank you for contributing $100 to our absolute rager of a party last night. I'm not gonna lie, I was drunk as a skunk thanks to you. Grey Goose ftw!

But I digress. After "carefully" considering your application, we have determined not to offer you the chance to waste $700+ of your own money to be grilled on your application by our notoriously cut-throat faculty. The primary reason is listed below:

- Applicant failed to meet requirement 832.4a, subsection b: BIRTH YEAR WAS NOT A PRIME NUMBER.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

GTFO,
Janitor Michael Johnson (Dean was too busy to write this)
 
FlowRate,

Stop expecting magic to happen. You didn't even apply this cycle.

Everyone


I keep waiting for that magical "we want you so much you didn't even have to apply this year." I wonder why it hasn't happened yet ???
 
Steeler7588 said:
Dear Steeler7588,

Congratulations! We decided to copy Michigan this year and deliver you the good news in video form. Please click here for your acceptance.
Haha, we got you, how hilarious! You're actually rejected. There were many more qualified applicants ahead of you and it wasn't even close.
Better luck elsewhere, bitch!

With love,
Dean Astley
Click to expand...

Rickrolled! nicely done :laugh:
 
Dear kia ora,

Thank you for coming to visit our school on your interview day. We've got to be honest: the only reason we invited you was because we couldn't believe that someone with your qualifications (read: lack thereof) would actually have the audacity to apply to our fine institution. We had to see you for ourselves. Do you remember at the end of your interview, when we said that we hope to see you in next year's class? We didn't mean it.

As if,

X Med School
 
DntStopBelievin said:
May 15, 2010
Dear DntStopBelievin,

You must be reading this letter with the utmost excitement. Why wouldn't you? This is one of the best institutions in the nation. Anyone would give their left kidney to get in here.

After breezing through your application we deem you unfit for our institution. In fact, we encourage you to StopBelievin. Truth is, we just waited until now to reject you so that your $100 supplemental fee would be worth the little hope you had as you waited patiently everyday at the mailbox for 6 months.

We hope you have a backup plan, or a safety school. I heard carribean MD school applications arent due til June 2010. You'll definitely get in there!

I hope this letter does not cause you any pain or depression. You'll get over it, most of them do.

Best regards,
Dean DntStopRejectin.
Click to expand...

:laugh::laugh::laugh:
 
Dear cantwaittobeMD,

You're gonna have to wait if you want our school.

P.S. The $50 you sent us was fine but next time please make the check payable to Jerry's Saloon. This will allow us to get hammered faster and thus make the rejection process quicker.

Sincerely,

Dean Jagerbomb
 
FOUND ON A SEARCH:

Dear stubborn DocMcCoy,

You recently applied for a seat in our medical school class of 2014, but you did not get it, as we have informed you by phone and by email. However, we have not heard back from you that you completely understand that you failed to get in. Please call or write and let us know that you realize that you are not a member of our school in any way, and never will be.

Sincerely,

dean X

Reply:

Dear dean X,

Thank you for your letter of rejection. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a seat in your medical class of 2014.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite [insert school name here]'s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.

Therefore, I will initiate matriculation procedures with your school immediately following graduation. I look forward to working with you.
Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,
DocMcCoy

PERSISTENCE IS KEY😀
 
Last edited:
DocMcCoy said:
Dear stubborn DocMcCoy,

You recently applied for a seat in our medical school class of 2014, but you did not get it, as we have informed you by phone and by email. However, we have not heard back from you that you completely understand that you failed to get in. Please call or write and let us know that you realize that you are not a member of our school in any way, and never will be.

Sincerely,

dean X

Reply:

Dear dean X,

Thank you for your letter of rejection. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a seat in your medical class of 2014.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite [insert school name here]'s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.

Therefore, I will initiate matriculation procedures with your school immediately following graduation. I look forward to working with you.
Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,
DocMcCoy

PERSISTENCE IS KEY😀
Click to expand...


Please remember to quote your sources. 👎laugh:
 
That's about the only thing that made me smile today.
 
Dear Bearie,

It's become apparent that we can no longer pursue this relationship. It's not you--it's us. You really are a great applicant and deserve a great medical school. But, I just don't think we are right for each other.

UCSF
 
Dear ziggyd0c,

Out of the 7,000 people who applied to our school, you are the worst. Thanks for the hearty laugh the admissions committee shared when we looked at your application.

Best of luck with your future endeavors. We're sure you'll make a fine physic---****, I can't even type this without laughing.

LOL,
Dean Mr. Pretty Pants
 
Dear Forthegood,

We regretfully inform you that you have not been accepted to our medical school. We apologize that this letter didn't get to you for the past few years. Really, silly mistake, we just forgot to send it.

We are sorry you have been getting hurt by our medical school for so long when you are not really a student at all.

Maybe you could apply again next cycle. If you do, please include your medical school GPA so we know exactly why we should reject you... again. Thank you for the tuition. We know it is expensive, but it goes to the good cause of educating your (ex)classmates.

Mistakes happen.
Some administrator you will never see or hear from
 
Dear metallica:

We would like to inform you of our decision to reject you from our medical school. In fact, we just decided to interview you to get your hopes up and make you dream wonderful things. The interview selection was mainly based on your potential Hispanic-ness, but then we saw you and realized you are too white for us to take seriously.

From Vanderbilt: We just wanted to throw you in the room with one of our crazy faculty interviewers and see if you could last the entire hour with him without going insane.

From Baylor: We purposefully put you in the clear glass room through which the sun was shining directly in your face for the entire intervie so that we could make your eyes tear up just in case you didn't actually cry today when we rejected you. We also strung you along until May to give you false hope.

From UVA: We wanted to raise your hopes by interviewing you on the very first interview day of the season and show you how awesome our school was, but then decided to reject you because of something we didn't ask you about during the interview.

In summary, we are surprised you applied to our schools with your low MCAT and crappy ECs. Good luck in your future plans at a school that would really consider you in the first place.
 
Last edited:
love this thread. I have one that actually happened this week.

On last friday:

Dear Doc2B
Thank you very much for your patience during this very busy time of year.
After a thorough review process, a decision has been made on your
application to the Keck School of Medicine. Please visit your status
check page at https://keck-admit.hsc.usc.edu to retrieve your decision
letter. You will need your AAMC ID and password to log on. Thank you
again for your interest in the Keck School of Medicine.

Regards,
Office of Admissions
(note, status is rejected)

Today:

Dear Doc2B
I would like to apologize for a computer error that was made in our office. It has come to our attention that you received a notification indicating you will no longer be considered for an interview at the Keck School of Medicine. You have received this notification in error, due to a computer software misfeed in our system. Please disregard the notification sent to you by email in the past few days. We deeply apologize for this confusion and would like to inform you that your application remains under review at this time. Once the committee has reached a final decision, you will be notified of the decision via email. We intend to notify all of our applicants of their interview status by the third week of February. If you have any questions please call our office at (323) 442-2552.
Once again, please accept our apologies and our sincere regret that an error was made.
Sincerely,
Erin A. Quinn, Ph.D., M.Ed.
Associate Dean for Admissions
The Keck School of Medicine
University of Southern California

Sometime next week:

Dear Doc2B,

We are writing to let you know that we are rejecting you AGAIN. Like handing a crying child an ice cream cone only to drop kick it out of their hands, we are hereby yanking that thread of hope we gave you away. We figured for your $100, you deserved at least two rejections.

Because its always better the second time,
Keck school of medicine
 
I was rejected from Keck too! High five!
 
DntStopBelievin said:
May 15, 2010
Dear DntStopBelievin,

You must be reading this letter with the utmost excitement. Why wouldn't you? This is one of the best institutions in the nation. Anyone would give their left kidney to get in here.

After breezing through your application we deem you unfit for our institution. In fact, we encourage you to StopBelievin. Truth is, we just waited until now to reject you so that your $100 supplemental fee would be worth the little hope you had as you waited patiently everyday at the mailbox for 6 months.

We hope you have a backup plan, or a safety school. I heard carribean MD school applications arent due til June 2010. You'll definitely get in there!

I hope this letter does not cause you any pain or depression. You'll get over it, most of them do.

Best regards,
Dean DntStopRejectin.
Click to expand...

👍👍:laugh::laugh:👍

Steeler7588 said:
Dear Steeler7588,

Congratulations! We decided to copy Michigan this year and deliver you the good news in video form. Please click here for your acceptance.
Haha, we got you, how hilarious! You're actually rejected. There were many more qualified applicants ahead of you and it wasn't even close.
Better luck elsewhere, bitch!

With love,
Dean Astley
Click to expand...

Well played!!!

ziggyd0c said:
Dear ziggyd0c,

Out of the 7,000 people who applied to our school, you are the worst. Thanks for the hearty laugh the admissions committee shared when we looked at your application.

Best of luck with your future endeavors. We're sure you'll make a fine physic---****, I can't even type this without laughing.

LOL,
Dean Mr. Pretty Pants
Click to expand...

😆

DoctwoB said:
Sometime next week:

Dear Doc2B,

We are writing to let you know that we are rejecting you AGAIN. Like handing a crying child an ice cream cone only to drop kick it out of their hands, we are hereby yanking that thread of hope we gave you away. We figured for your $100, you deserved at least two rejections.

Because its always better the second time,
Keck school of medicine
Click to expand...

:roflcopter: 😆 :roflcopter:

Oh man, these are beautiful.
 
Forthegood said:
Dear Forthegood,

We regretfully inform you that you have not been accepted to our medical school. We apologize that this letter didn't get to you for the past few years. Really, silly mistake, we just forgot to send it.

We are sorry you have been getting hurt by our medical school for so long when you are not really a student at all.

Maybe you could apply again next cycle. If you do, please include your medical school GPA so we know exactly why we should reject you... again. Thank you for the tuition. We know it is expensive, but it goes to the good cause of educating your (ex)classmates.

Mistakes happen.
Some administrator you will never see or hear from
Click to expand...

i don't get it... 😕
 
DoctwoB said:
Dear Doc2B,

We are writing to let you know that we are rejecting you AGAIN. Like handing a crying child an ice cream cone only to drop kick it out of their hands, we are hereby yanking that thread of hope we gave you away. We figured for your $100, you deserved at least two rejections.

Because its always better the second time,
Keck school of medicine
Click to expand...

You set yourself up for this one: That's what she said!
 
dw2158 said:
i don't get it... 😕
Click to expand...

Haha I think it's supposed to be a joke about how they never got rejected and started to attend the medical school, but then a couple years later they finally got rejected while they were IN the school. Hence the tuition paying for ex classmates! At least that's how I took it!
 
Dear Akinetopsia,

We have not yet received your application, most likely because you are not even applying this cycle. Regardless, we are compelled to reject you, simply because we can. Moreover, do not apply in the future, and strongly consider against attempting to strengthen your credentials. Might we suggest that if you can, attempt to take up floating and you will find yourself more successful in your endeavors.

Regards,

Dean of Admissions
 
Dear Tygacil,

Welcome to rejectionville.

Population: You.

Yours Truly,
Dean Soandso
 
Dear Musclemass,

We got a lot of apps this year
We're trying to fill our class
But as for picking you, my friend
We're gonna take a pass

Love ya

Dean Frost
 
Dear Reject,
We regret to inform you that you ****ed around too much during your undergrad so much that your amazing MCAT and 4.0 masters just couldn't make up for it. Maybe if you had hauled your ass to that 8 am Latin class instead of binge drinking you may be in a different situation.

I would say better luck next time, but due to the incredible amount of credits you have taken to raise your gpa, statistically there is no chance to raise it much more. Go ahead and continue working at the job you hate forever while we let our friends, sons, and daughters, and colleagues' friends/sons/daughter into our esteemed medical schools with 24 mcats.

Thank you for paying all those application fees that allows us to binge drink now that we are past the point where it matters for our careers, since all we do is sit in an overdecorated offices and judge people numerically. I am sorry that we haven't told you sooner, but your secondary was worth a laugh. You sure tried!

Ha Ha you have flaws and are a real human,
The Admin. Committee
 
Dear IHateWaiting,

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

Interpret as you will.


Best,

Dean **********
 
ihatewaiting said:
Dear IHateWaiting,

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

Interpret as you will.


Best,

Dean **********
Click to expand...


Insert cliche about how "a picture is worth a thousand words".
 
Dear Medgirl55,

Please leave our state. We have tolerated you for fourteen years but now we want you to leave. We are glad that we were able to squeeze taxes out of you in order to improve our facilities and help our students, but we do not want you to be one of our students. We realize that you have great MCAT scores, grades, and lots of extracurricular activities that prove you are passionate about medicine, but we have better people. Therefore, we are kicking you back to the East Coast, where you came from and where you belong. Thanks for contributing funds to our university - it really helps during this ailing economy. Thankfully, we will have many out of state students who will be paying hefty funds and helping drag us out of the %^&#hole that we're in. Thanks again for your donations, and now gtfo!

Sincerely,
The State of California
 
Dear CaliGirl14,

Remember how we interviewed you? Yeah. We did it for the lulz.

Thanks again,
Dean of ******
 
teenmachinery1 said:
Dear Teenmachinery1,

No.

Better luck next cycle.

Best regards,

Your superior.
Click to expand...

Haha <3

I might appreciate an official letter like that.

DocMcCoy said:
Dear dean X,

Thank you for your letter of rejection. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a seat in your medical class of 2014.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite [insert school name here]'s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.

Therefore, I will initiate matriculation procedures with your school immediately following graduation. I look forward to working with you.
Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,
DocMcCoy

PERSISTENCE IS KEY😀
Click to expand...
:laugh:
 
Medgirl55 said:
Dear Medgirl55,

Please leave our state. We have tolerated you for fourteen years but now we want you to leave. We are glad that we were able to squeeze taxes out of you in order to improve our facilities and help our students, but we do not want you to be one of our students. We realize that you have great MCAT scores, grades, and lots of extracurricular activities that prove you are passionate about medicine, but we have better people. Therefore, we are kicking you back to the East Coast, where you came from and where you belong. Thanks for contributing funds to our university - it really helps during this ailing economy. Thankfully, we will have many out of state students who will be paying hefty funds and helping drag us out of the %^&#hole that we're in. Thanks again for your donations, and now gtfo!

Sincerely,
The State of California
Click to expand...

+1 👍
 
Dear FSAP,

It's not you. It's us. We are still friends.

Medical School.
 
ghendel said:
dear reject,
we regret to inform you that you ****ed around too much during your undergrad so much that your amazing mcat and 4.0 masters just couldn't make up for it. Maybe if you had hauled your ass to that 8 am latin class instead of binge drinking you may be in a different situation.

I would say better luck next time, but due to the incredible amount of credits you have taken to raise your gpa, statistically there is no chance to raise it much more. Go ahead and continue working at the job you hate forever while we let our friends, sons, and daughters, and colleagues' friends/sons/daughter into our esteemed medical schools with 24 mcats.

Thank you for paying all those application fees that allows us to binge drink now that we are past the point where it matters for our careers, since all we do is sit in an overdecorated offices and judge people numerically. I am sorry that we haven't told you sooner, but your secondary was worth a laugh. You sure tried!

Ha ha you have flaws and are a real human,
the admin. Committee
Click to expand...


ahahahahahahaha
 
👍

This is the best thread on SDN! :laugh:
 
Dear applicant to the College of Medicine of the Medical College of D-bags,

Due to the non-overwhelming nature of your lack of impressive credentials, after much non-deliberation the committee has decided to offer you a non-acceptance of a non-position in our Class of 2014.

The fact that you are unable to be admitted to the College of Medicine of the Medical College of D-bags this year is not meant to reflect negatively on you at all. It is simply that we offer a limited number of positions to non-impressive non-residents, and the volume of uninspiring applications COMOTMCODB received this year was a record high (or low).

We sincerely appreciate your interest in COMOTMCODB, and hope that the rest of your application efforts this year are non-futile.

Glad tidings and no ill feelings,
Nona D. Mittance, MD
Dean of Non-acceptances

NOTE: Believe it or not, several phrases in this letter are direct quotes from an actual rejection letter I received :laugh:
 
Lol!!! I got that one (the real one) too! Laughed my ass off when I read it... Wonderful sendup here!
 
KTDseven77 said:
Dear applicant to the College of Medicine of the Medical College of D-bags,

Due to the non-overwhelming nature of your lack of impressive credentials, after much non-deliberation the committee has decided to offer you a non-acceptance of a non-position in our Class of 2014.

The fact that you are unable to be admitted to the College of Medicine of the Medical College of D-bags this year is not meant to reflect negatively on you at all. It is simply that we offer a limited number of positions to non-impressive non-residents, and the volume of uninspiring applications COMOTMCODB received this year was a record high (or low).

We sincerely appreciate your interest in COMOTMCODB, and hope that the rest of your application efforts this year are non-futile.

Glad tidings and no ill feelings,
Nona D. Mittance, MD
Dean of Non-acceptances

NOTE: Believe it or not, several phrases in this letter are direct quotes from an actual rejection letter I received :laugh:
Click to expand...

now i'm curious about what the entire letter said, if parts of it were really that bad.
 
Medgirl55 said:
🙂 Are you from California too? hehe

Everyone on this forum ROCKS! Seriously laughed so hard at some of them I was almost crying. :laugh:
Click to expand...

Yep, for 20+ years, and being shipped off to the east coast b/c our state is on life-support. No complaints though, I can't wait to move.
 
Yo JJ:

We have some spots, it's true,
if your application is money.
Unfortunately for you,
yours is just plain funny.

Peace out,
Dokta Dean
 
FuSoYa said:
Yep, for 20+ years, and being shipped off to the east coast b/c our state is on life-support. No complaints though, I can't wait to move.
Click to expand...

yeah, I guess I'm glad I'm going too, but it really stings not getting an interview invite from even one out of the 7 CA schools I applied to!:scared: Which school are you planning on attending this fall?
 
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