writing LOR for yourself

[njmd55]

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Hey guys
I asked one of my teachers for a LOR but he keeps insisting that i should write the first draft and send it to him. Has this happened to any of you? Because I'm having a really hard time writing it. All ideas would be really appreciated!!

 

[liquidshadow22]

If you want my 2 cents, I'd find someone else. You won't be able to sign the confidentiality statement and that will trigger a negative response by anyone reviewing your app. Also, what does that say about the person recommending you? Clearly they are either too lazy or don't know you well enough. You'd be better off finding someone who can and is willing to write a letter for you.

 

[njmd55]

If you want my 2 cents, I'd find someone else. You won't be able to sign the confidentiality statement and that will trigger a negative response by anyone reviewing your app. Also, what does that say about the person recommending you? Clearly they are either too lazy or don't know you well enough. You'd be better off finding someone who can and is willing to write a letter for you.

Thanks for the input but I think he doesn't really care if I sign the confidentiality statement so that won't be a problem. He also does know me very well. He even helped me with my personal statement. Do you think he wants me to write it just so he'll have an idea about what I want him to say in the letter and he'll be able to elaborate more on that??? 😕

 

[HumbleMD]

Thanks for the input but I think he doesn't really care if I sign the confidentiality statement so that won't be a problem. He also does know me very well. He even helped me with my personal statement. Do you think he wants me to write it just so he'll have an idea about what I want him to say in the letter and he'll be able to elaborate more on that??? 😕

What the previous poster was getting at was the fact that you wouldn't be able to ethically say that you've waived your right to see the letter if you actually wrote it. And non-confidential L.O.R.'s are given less weight by adcoms than a confidential one.

Has he ever written a L.O.R. for med schools before? Perhaps your school career advising dept. has some references (or else the internet does) for letter writers that you could give to him.

 

[Johnny_one_eye]

why not offer to send a copy of your resume/CV if you haven't already and explain why you don't feel comfortable writing your own letter. If he still refuses to write it, it's up to you, but I'd find someone else to write a letter for me most likely.

 

[StritchMD2011]

I was faced with a similar problem, but it worked out fine. My research advisor asked me to write my own LOR, but it was mainly to see what I thought my own strengths and weaknesses were. He said he then used bits and pieces, while including his own thoughts and insight. I didn't get to see a copy of the final draft, so I have no qualms about saying the letter was confidential. He could have written anything he wanted without my knowledge.

If you really feel uncomfortable doing this, tell your professor so. Your situation sounds like they mainly don't want to do the work themselves, but do want to help you out. Mine was more of a framework that he looked at while writing his own.

 

[WitchDoctor]

i think that writing a draft is a good way to get certain points across about yourself that will be emphasized in your letter. in the end, you have to do what makes you feel most comfortable but i don't think this is a negative situation.
good luck!

 

[BellyDancingDoc]

I believe that LizzyM, one of the adcom members here, posted an outline for writing your own rec letter a little while ago. If you do a search of her posts, you should find it.

Good luck!
Frogs

 

[BucsFan813]

Hey guys
I asked one of my teachers for a LOR but he keeps insisting that i should write the first draft and send it to him. Has this happened to any of you? Because I'm having a really hard time writing it. All ideas would be really appreciated!!

Look at the alternative, you could receive a lukewarm letter that could impact an admissions decision and you would never know about it. I think this is a positive. However, I don't believe that anyone can write as strong a letter about themselves as someone else can. Sometimes people see qualities in us that we don't know we have...

 

[instigata]

And non-confidential L.O.R.'s are given less weight by adcoms than a confidential one.

If you send through virtual evals and you retained your right to view the letter, the adcoms will never know. But of course there is the ethical issue.

 

[HumbleMD]

If you send through virtual evals and you retained your right to view the letter, the adcoms will never know. But of course there is the ethical issue.

Oh those pesky "ethics" and "integrity"...

 

[Sol Rosenberg]

I've had this situation come up before (not for my Medical School Application, fortunately) and, in the end, I wrote myself the letter and sent it to my LOR writer who may or may not have revised it. No, you are not violating the confidentiality statement, because every confidentiality statement that I have ever signed says something to the effect of you waive your right to see the letter after it is written. Even if you sign the confidentiality statement and your LOR writer writes your letter "normally" he/she can still show it to you if they so choose.

Personally, I don't think the applicant is doing anything wrong -- it is the LOR writer who is acting unethically, but others may see it differently (I asked this question to a premed advisor as a hypothetical, and she acted as if I was satan incarnate for suggesting such a thing.) It is the LOR writer that is signing their name to the letter and accompanying form, and if they don't really believe what is written/what is signed, then they are being dishonest/unethical by signing their name. If they do believe everything that is written, then what's the harm/what does it matter who physically puts the words on the paper?

 

[HumbleMD]

Personally, I don't think the applicant is doing anything wrong -- it is the LOR writer who is acting unethically, but others may see it differently (I asked this question to a premed advisor as a hypothetical, and she acted as if I was satan incarnate for suggesting such a thing.) It is the LOR writer that is signing their name to the letter and accompanying form, and if they don't really believe what is written/what is signed, then they are being dishonest/unethical by signing their name. If they do believe everything that is written, then what's the harm/what does it matter who physically puts the words on the paper?

Whatever helps you sleep at night man...

 

[Sol Rosenberg]

Whatever helps you sleep at night man...

Explain yourself -- Why is it unethical to write a LOR for yourself if someone else asks you to write it (and then THEY sign their name to it -- or alter it to their liking before signing their name?)

P.S. I didn't lose any sleep over this when it happened, and I got into the program that I was applying to.

 

[HumbleMD]

Explain yourself -- Why is it unethical to write a LOR for yourself if someone else asks you to write it (and then THEY sign their name to it -- or alter it to their liking before signing their name?)

Explain myself? You know, you aren't really Scarface. But anyway, if you want to get technical be my guest, but what do you really think the spirit of a confidential letter is? I'm not saying I'm going to turn anybody in or anything (especially considering I wouldn't know who or to whom), so don't get your panties in a bunch.

 

[p9142]

Explain yourself -- Why is it unethical to write a LOR for yourself if someone else asks you to write it (and then THEY sign their name to it -- or alter it to their liking before signing their name?)

P.S. I didn't lose any sleep over this when it happened, and I got into the program that I was applying to.

Don't worry, he can't explain himself. This is mundane premed ranting about ethics. Not only is it ethical, it is very common in academia. Whenever my students ask me for a LOR, I always make them write a draft.

 

[HumbleMD]

Don't worry, he can't explain himself. This is mundane premed ranting about ethics. Not only is it ethical, it is very common in academia. Whenever my students ask me for a LOR, I always make them write a draft.

Pesky ethics, always getting in the way...

 

[Sol Rosenberg]

Explain myself? You know, you aren't really Scarface. But anyway, if you want to get technical be my guest, but what do you really think the spirit of a confidential letter is? I'm not saying I'm going to turn anybody in or anything (especially considering I wouldn't know who or to whom), so don't get your panties in a bunch.

The spirit of a confidential LOR is that the LOR writer can feel free to write his/her true thoughts without having to deal with the consequences (i.e. having the subject of the LOR find out.) Everybody has different feelings in this regard.

While I have never written anybody an LOR, I have provided references for people related to jobs -- a similar situation. When people ask me for a reference, I tell them the jist of what I am going to say, and then I ask them if they still want to use me as a reference. I guess I just value honestly and straightforwardness more than confidentiality, so I don't see what the big deal is if a LOR writer/evaluator/reference chooses to make the person being evaluated aware of what was said. I also value my word and my integrity, and would NEVER sign a LOR written by someone else that said something that I didn't believe. If a student tried to write a LOR that contained unture statements and tried to "slip it by" the LOR writer, I believe that that would be an ethical problem (for both LOR writer and student) but someone who writes an honest assessment of themself in response to a request by their LOR writer (who is then free to tweak the draft as they see fit before signing it) faces no ethical problems. Again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I don't see much coming from your direction elaborating on your side of this supposed ethical problem. I don't feel that laying out explanations of one's ethical beliefs is "getting technical."

 

[Rafa]

Don't worry, he can't explain himself. This is mundane premed ranting about ethics. Not only is it ethical, it is very common in academia. Whenever my students ask me for a LOR, I always make them write a draft.

Ah, a post from someone with authority. 👍

 

[njmd55]

Ok, Thanks guys for all the advice!! I really appreciate it!!🙂 And about the issue of ethics, I don't think it's unethical for me to write a letter for myself especially after I explained to the LOR writer that I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it and he still wants me to write it just so he has an idea about what to write. In the end, HE is the one who gets to write the final draft which I will never get to see so I will have no idea if he used my first draft as his final or completely changed it.

 

[HumbleMD]

Ah, a post from someone with authority. 👍

Some authority? What's a PhD doing on SDN anyways? Or is it a Masters student who couldn't get into med school 2 years ago...

 

[Sol Rosenberg]

Don't worry, he can't explain himself. This is mundane premed ranting about ethics. Not only is it ethical, it is very common in academia. Whenever my students ask me for a LOR, I always make them write a draft.

👍 I think you might've hit the nail on the head here. I will go ahead and spend my time elsewhere.

 

[notdeadyet]

If you send through virtual evals and you retained your right to view the letter, the adcoms will never know. But of course there is the ethical issue.

If you retain the right to view your letter, through Virgutal Evals or other services, you'll be reducing the impact of your letters anyway.

 

[Rafa]

Some authority? What's a PhD doing on SDN anyways? Or is it a Masters student who couldn't get into med school 2 years ago...

QoQ is on SDN, and she's one of the MVMs of the site (most valuable members). I figure the more experience we have here, the better. Not much point in a bunch of pre-meds giving advice to other pre-meds without input from folks who know more.