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One of the most notable changes was my smooth brown tan - and no flaking!
Writing the personal statement, line by line.
- Thread starter Quix
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Perhaps I would benefit the field of dermatology but it's difficult to decide... I'm so talented!
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That is why I've decided to pursue a quintuple-board residency in the fields of...
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emergency medicine, radiology, ophthalmology, anesthesiology, dermatology. Perhaps you've heard of the ROAD (or E-ROAD) specialties. I think being boarded in each of them will be helpful because...
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I'm very interested in having a cash-only practice where the patients file their own health insurance claims. This reduction of paperwork headaches for me will enable me to spend more time...
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...with my unique extracurricular activity, dolphin hunting.
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I have recently found out that they have a brain-to-body ratio greater than mine, and I simply must take out my competition.
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"Dolphin-enriched tuna", sold exclusively at organic food co-ops. It has more anti-oxidants than dark chocolate, and has been shown to revive the dead. In fact...
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... I used it to bring back my dearly departed mother (she passed from complications due to a tin allergy/tomahawk wound/etc) at first I was like sweet! but then I realized that...
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She smelled and looked kind of funny, and my girlfriend got all weirded out when I invited her over for a family dinner and my mom just kept biting heads off of bats and stuff.
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She just couldn't understand that her generation grew up watching ozzy osbourne do crazy stuff.
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...I guess it was a good thing then that she soon passed away, uh, again. Apparently she had a terrible bat allergy that she never knew about - go figure. Anyhow, I guess thats how I became interested in being an allergist, of course, that was until the time I...
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Also, as my poor luck would have it (I am soo... disadvantaged), I had run out of dolphin-enriched tuna, and despite the smell i really wanted to see my mom again. A friend once told me that neurology was brain doctoring, and stuff, so I figure I can bring my moms brain back to life if I do enough residency and fellowship training.
Now I want to talk about something really important...
Now I want to talk about something really important...
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...weight ratios. As an example, a five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
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When, I applied this principle to the common taco. I discovered, to my amazement...
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I am plainning to do research with the Ant Society this summer. I hope to discover how humans can learn to have the strength of ants. I really think this will help me when I apply for....
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that if you had enough ants, they could throw a taco at a bird, but the bird wouldn't catch it. In conclusion, please let me into your school, thank you.
EDIT/
wow guys...
My mother often tells the story of my birth. I jumped out, grabbed surgical scissors and cut my own umbilical cord. I imediately took an interest in surgery, performing my own circumcision. Showing my academic prowess at that young age, I scored an APGAR of 12. I chuckle when i think of the number 12. At the age of 12 i earned a 12, 12, 12 on the mcat. Although I was studying at the time to be the Pope, I had long entertained thoughts of medical school. I eventually realized that there was nothing God could do that a finely trained physican couldn't. From that day on I knew I would be a doctor. Probably the sweetest thing i ever did was that In my junior year of high school, I created life. Well, my parents told everyone it was theirs when it was born, and only I and the two or three possible baby daddy's out there know it isnt. By the way, I don't want to brag, but I also have 2 heads and 2 heads are better than one. But, I am getting ahead of myself, like I said, I have long thought about being a doctor.
In fact, on my first birthday while performing an exploratory laparotomy on our neighbor (she was complaining of chronic explosive flatulence). I showed her what a compassionate doctor I would be by also performing a female pelvic exam. Her cries of joy made her parents come out and see what was going on. They misunderstood my compassion and put me in an institution. Fortunately for me though I escaped by studying old episodes of Macgyver...and using a rubber band, a paper clip, and a used tampon, which I was forced to hide in my rectum.
When I look back, these events directly influenced my decision to perform research on dead babies. Man those turn me on. Also, I am turned on by bondage...and hamsters...and dead baby hamsters... Anyhow, My infantile-necrophilia led me to pursue a volunteer position at the abortion clinic. There wasn't actually such a thing, but I just showed up at the clinic in a white lab coat with name embroidered with an "MD" on it and nobody said anything. I got a great laugh out of it!!! but also some valuable shadowing experience.
This, of course, leads me to my next topic, cannabalism. As part of Junior Achievers, I pioneered a gene therapy study which cured kuru. This would help in high school as I battled the kuru I contracted while on a mission trip to New Guinea. I not only treated the people I met there, but I feel that I engaged in a valuable cultural exchange - especially the one with the 5 young local girls in my tiny hut that fateful night. They were all sick with kuru and at death's door. Death and I struggled for hours, like in The Old Man and the Sea. Except it was death, not arm wrestling. And someone made sheep dip. Eventually death kicked my ass and gave me sheep kuru for good measure. But not before I bit death's ear off, Mike Tyson style. Death is such a douchebag. That's why I want to be a doctor, really, to spite that jerkface.
I loved my clinical experience so much I decided to help out Africa too. In the Peace Corps, while digging a water-well to supply the Amarundi peoples of the western Kilimanjaro region of Tanzania with an adequate water source. I realized that, in order for the project to be successful, I needed to reengineer the entire water infrastructure across the African continent. I accomplished this in a matter of days, and afterwards I found out that I had accidentally redirected the continent-spanning oil pipeline from the Amarundi peoples to Texas - but hey, we needed it more to begin with!
When I finally returned to my native homeland I was a changed person because of my many experiences. One of the most notable changes was my smooth brown tan - and no flaking! Perhaps I would benefit the field of dermatology but it's difficult to decide... I'm so talented! That is why I've decided to pursue a quintuple-board residency in the fields of emergency medicine, radiology, ophthalmology, anesthesiology, dermatology. Perhaps you've heard of the ROAD (or E-ROAD) specialties. I think being boarded in each of them will be helpful because I'm very interested in having a cash-only practice where the patients file their own health insurance claims. This reduction of paperwork headaches for me will enable me to spend more time with my unique extracurricular activity, dolphin hunting.
I have recently found out that they have a brain-to-body ratio greater than mine, and I simply must take out my competition. I also enjoy cooking and eating their disproportionately large brains for breakfast - which leads my next subject: the patent rights I hold for "Dolphin-enriched tuna", sold exclusively at organic food co-ops. It has more anti-oxidants than dark chocolate, and has been shown to revive the dead. In fact I used it to bring back my dearly departed mother (she passed from complications due to a tin allergy/tomahawk wound/etc) at first I was like sweet! but then I realized that she smelled and looked kind of funny, and my girlfriend got all weirded out when I invited her over for a family dinner and my mom just kept biting heads off of bats and stuff. She just couldn't understand that her generation grew up watching ozzy osbourne do crazy stuff.
I guess it was a good thing then that she soon passed away, uh, again. Apparently she had a terrible bat allergy that she never knew about - go figure. Anyhow, I guess thats how I became interested in being an allergist, of course, that was until the time I I went to Salary.com and found out the hard way that I better become a neurosurgeon. Also, as my poor luck would have it (I am soo... disadvantaged), I had run out of dolphin-enriched tuna, and despite the smell i really wanted to see my mom again. A friend once told me that neurology was brain doctoring, and stuff, so I figure I can bring my moms brain back to life if I do enough residency and fellowship training.
Now I want to talk about something really important weight ratios. As an example, a five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut. A 0.02 gram ant, however, can lift a whopping 1.03 gram salt grain. Simply amazing. When, I applied this principle to the common taco. I discovered, to my amazement, that if you had enough ants, they could throw a taco at a bird, but the bird wouldn't catch it. In conclusion, please let me into your school, thank you.
