Night 9 Results - brought to you by little puppies with big eyes, and an anonymous writer.
Hey kids… welcome to the brand new TV show that combines the investigative reporting of the Gotham Enquirer with the human interest stories of GMZ…. We will tell you all the interesting stories, and we are most concerned with getting you the news quickly….. if we make any errors… well, there is always the errata section of the Times to check if you really care.
The biggest excitement last night was the spotting of the BATMOBILE at the Gotham Irish Pub. This caused quite a stir, as the Batmobile had not been spotted much lately since SOV lost his lease on it after having to pay his tuition to Gotham Veterinary School (that's right ANOTHER new Vet school has opened in Gotham). The new user of the Batmobile caused quite a stir, but no one was able to positively identify what must be an impressive persona.
We were on the scene and got you lots of shots of the action last night, which we can now report. Now first off, as a public service announcement, we have to let you know that the sighting of the BAT SIGNAL was NOT related to the new occupant. That comes directly from the mod office, so you can rely on its accuracy.
The bouncers let us know that 2 people were let into the bar who were NOT, I repeat NOT, regulars at this particular establishment… Flim Flam Man and Kakurubird. That's right folks, our 2 favorite partiers were trying out a new spot. No word on whether PJ, their third musketeer, joined them. They were seen leaving the pub at 2am and headed out to the pier for a late night boating cruise, when FFM received a mysterious phone call according to witnesses we might say were reliable, but the Times might not. Anywho, Kakuru continued out to the pier and started up their Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG 1350hp cigarette boat when it suddenly blew up in a MASSIVE EXPLOSION. After all the talk about ticking bombs, many passersby were speculating whether Kakuru had it with her, or whether the explosion was unrelated. Most of our viewers are hoping for the former, as no one likes to receive that little package.
Flim Flam Man should have been relieved that he had not joined Kakuru on the boat (otherwise he too would have been fish chum). But unfortunately FFM was unavailable for comment on the explosion as his body was found twisted into the shape of a question mark outside the Plaza Hotel. The doorman of the hotel would not answer any of our questions on who FFM might have been seeing at the Plaza. Although FFM was known to drop big bucks around town, no one could ever recall him spending any time in the ritzy parts of town, as he was always known to enjoy the sleezier establishments!
Finally, in a most bizarre turn of events, Gotham's MOST famous drinker,
Devyn, who claims she NEVER gets drunk, was found passed out wearing only a pink-sequin thong,
wearing pink fuzzy handcuffs,
and handcuffed to the inside of the dumpster outside the police station. We have an exclusive interview with her as she tells all about her crazy night out with Gotham's most eligible bachelor, on a special pay-per-view event tonight at 6pm.
Of course we are sorry about the deaths of the
villagers, FFM and
Kakurubird, but honestly, the Devyn story and the re-emergence of the Batmobile has us peeing in our panties (but ours aren't pink fuzzy ones though).
That's all we have for now.
Tune in another time when we have more guest commentators on the show.
Pink out!
Finnigan's
1. Equineconstant
2. FTB
3. Nohika - Scarecrow
Iceberg Lounge
1. Philliab - citizen
2. Swingnsave - citizen
3. Nyanko - citizen
4. Lissarae - citizen
5. DVMDream - Catwoman
6. Foxhunter
My Alibi
1. Wolfspeaker
2. kanderson615 - citizen
3. Krist - mayor and citizen
4. Nutmeg - citizen
Stacked Deck
1. Twelvetigers
2. Sns
3. Packen - citizen
4. Zanydogz - citizen
5. Kaydubs - Mad Hatter
Gotham Gazette
1. Flim Flam Man - citizen
2. Kakuru - citizen
3. EngrSC
4. Hedgie - citizen
Riverboat Cruise
1. Devyn
2. t70s - The Joker
3. SOV
4. Cuitl
Day cycle will end at 1 pm Eastern or when plurality is reached.
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😱 😳
😡), then was discarded in a dumpster in pink fuzzy handcuffs, in a pink sequined thong...... now I must tell you... pink is not my colour....BUT.....now I am thinking I probably looked quite fine last night if you know what I mean 
