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Your Worst/Lowest Point In Medical School?
Started by Danger
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It's funny, I'm 6 years removed from MS1 but can still pinpoint the low point of my medical school career: Halloween of MS1. We were in the midst of a grueling test schedule , and we had a biochem test on that Friday (the 31st I think?) with an anatomy test the following Monday. The night before the test I hadn't even looked at probably half of the biochem lectures, so I pulled an all nighter. Still failed the test, felt like s*** the entire next day, and when I just wanted to sleep off my biochem failure on Friday night so I could use Saturday and Sunday to study anatomy, my ex-girlfriend (in college at the time) threw a tantrum and made a scene in front of my family because she wanted to go the school's Halloween party. I ended up slogging through the Halloween party, getting screamed at again because I wasn't paying any attention to her, then going into the next anatomy test tired because I had wasted my Friday night at a party. The first two years of med school were pretty terrible in general, though there are times where I've been at the hospital every day for weeks and I just wish that I could go back to a time where my job was to stay at home and study.
On the bright side, I still passed biochem, broke up with that girlfriend a few months after that, and dedicated the rest of med school to matching into a surgical sub. Now I'm where I want to be in life with a new girlfriend who is independent and very understanding of the medical lifestyle, and looking back on that dark period in life makes me laugh. It gets better.
On the bright side, I still passed biochem, broke up with that girlfriend a few months after that, and dedicated the rest of med school to matching into a surgical sub. Now I'm where I want to be in life with a new girlfriend who is independent and very understanding of the medical lifestyle, and looking back on that dark period in life makes me laugh. It gets better.
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I've still got a couple years left yet! I've got time to sink lower. The bolded made me
Got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. I found better things to focus on in life.
*hugs* (no homo)
Hey now.
I'm playing nice
I believe it's a major moderation crackdown across the board.
Second semester MS1, not necessarily the course load, but I was dealing with a very stressful relationship at the time while trying to balance and barely getting by in classes, and I hadn't developed much of a support system yet.
Academically, taking anatomy first semester MS1, the class is notorious at my school.
First year was rough haha, but I managed through it.
Academically, taking anatomy first semester MS1, the class is notorious at my school.
First year was rough haha, but I managed through it.
And here I thought I was the only one who wasn't in to that
are you non trad?
Yes
I'm only an MS1 but so far I can say it was second week. Total information overload. MS2s were right when they said it was the most intense week in the block.
And they likely don't care about knowing you, either. Always laugh at the people (generally nontrads) who hold this holier-than-thou attitude towards the people that went straight through college and medical school, or the other non-trads that are OK with a little bit of crazy.
Not saying you have to partake in it or approve of it, but just being cordial to your fellow classmates shouldn't be so hard.
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I am cordial to them, I even smile and speak, but they never speak to me. I just said F it.
I don't think our class is too bad. I don't really get a "spoiled rich kid" vibe from anyone, though maybe I just don't talk to enough people. And lots of people go out and drink on weekends and make me feel like an old man for not being social, but it seems like most people are still pretty responsible when it comes to school stuff.
I don't get that vibe either, I was more just saying that going out and getting trashed is not my idea of a good time. I'd rather spend what little free time I have just relaxing with my family
@buttfrogs @O Grady
Do you like me or hate me?
Do you like me or hate me?
Yes.
My lowest point was when I was dismissed a week before Christmas. Had to submit my appeal letter on Christmas Day and appear before the appeals committee after New Year's. My dismissal was overturned and I was allowed to continue and graduate, which I did. But that was a scary few weeks.
story?
Academic trouble.
1. First time seeing a patient die. On my IM rotation, on call. Some young woman who was getting a thrombectomy for a clot in her iliac vein. The IR guys turned it into a saddle embolus, and she immediately went into cardiac arrest. I'd never seen a code, done chest compressions, or see someone die. Sucked. It's all I thought about for probably 6 weeks afterwards. I couldn't get it out of my head. I just replayed every little moment in my head over and over (we coded her continuously for more than 1.5 hours).
2. Week 4 or 5 of Step 1 studying. Realizing that I had done the same thing every day for the last month, and the only thing that would change tomorrow would be the words on page or screen in front of me.
2. Week 4 or 5 of Step 1 studying. Realizing that I had done the same thing every day for the last month, and the only thing that would change tomorrow would be the words on page or screen in front of me.
I was gonna post something else yesterday, but I'm on 24 hour call right now and I did chest compressions on a 1 year old baby girl who had a bullet go through her mediastinal structures. She didn't make it, so that's easily my lowest point so far in medical school.
I really don't want to "like" this, but thanks for sharing. I'm really not sure if I'm prepared for something like that.
Histology. Need I say more?
I'll share a clinical anecdote where I (rightfully) felt like an absolute *****. This is a story I share with the now M3s when we talk about feelings of incompetence, cluelessness, etc. etc. which seems to be very common among third years, especially in this time of the year.
On OB/GYN, we spend a couple of weeks on the gyn service, which is essentially a purely surgical experience: come in, get the schedule, read on the patients, and go to cases. One case was a robotic vaginal hysterectomy to correct pelvic organ prolapse, during which my job was to be the uterine manipulator. In basic terms, this essentially entailed wielding what was a steel dildo and applying pressure in various directions to expose the field for the surgeon. Since the procedure was robotic, I sat at the foot of the bed and used the displays to try and get the view she wanted.
The patient was particularly obese - to the point of not even being able to see the vagina, or really anything. At the beginning of the case I had trouble getting all of the tissue out of the way to see where I was actually going with the manipulator, so I did the next best thing I could think of: I followed the Foley, traced it back with my hand, and essentially aimed the manipulator where my hand was.
About 45 minutes into the case, the surgeon says from the console that "things don't look right" and to make sure that there are no obvious problems. She was dissecting down to the uterus and was having trouble identifying the fascial planes she was looking for. She specifically asked me if I was sure I was in the vagina and not the rectum; I double-checked and told her that I was pretty sure that I was. Another 5-10 minutes goes by, she again says that "this just isn't right," and gets up from the console and comes to the table. She double-checks everything with the resident and again asks me if I'm sure I'm in the vagina.
I really dig in to see where I'm at with the manipulator, and to my absolute and sheer horror I see that I'm in the rectum and not in the vagina. Whether I was in the wrong place to begin with or whether it slipped out of the vagina and into the rectum I wasn't sure, but the net result was that the surgeon effectively dissected down the wrong fascial planes for a good half hour of the case. I pull the manipulator out and, after a couple of seconds (during which I'm more or less in complete shock and expecting quite the lashing), I tell her that I was in the rectum and not the vagina. To my complete surprise, she was actually very nice about it. She said something very similar happened with another patient a few months back, but the mistake wasn't caught until much later and the patient had some significant complications as a result. Also to my surprise, she didn't so much as raise her voice at me or otherwise berate me.
Because I had been applying quite a bit of force in there (since she was obese and had a lot of tissue to move around), we had to get a GI doc in to do a quick flex sig and make sure that no major damage to the rectum/bowel had been done. He gets the scope in and, adding to my horror, I see some mild-moderate bruising along the mucosa where the manipulator had been. Fortunately, though, there was no overt bleeding or perforation, and he said that there shouldn't be any problems. We get back in position (triple-checking that the manipulator was actually in the vagina) and the rest of the case goes well.
That was by far my lowest point in medical school. I've never felt so incompetent or idiotic in my life. I mean, knowing the difference between the rectum and the vagina is something that doesn't require medical training to understand. The degree of shame I felt is simply indescribable. Even a year later I still cringe when I think about it.
So, anytime you're having a bad time in school or you otherwise think you're incompetent, remember this story and tell yourself, "at least I didn't **** up that badly."
On OB/GYN, we spend a couple of weeks on the gyn service, which is essentially a purely surgical experience: come in, get the schedule, read on the patients, and go to cases. One case was a robotic vaginal hysterectomy to correct pelvic organ prolapse, during which my job was to be the uterine manipulator. In basic terms, this essentially entailed wielding what was a steel dildo and applying pressure in various directions to expose the field for the surgeon. Since the procedure was robotic, I sat at the foot of the bed and used the displays to try and get the view she wanted.
The patient was particularly obese - to the point of not even being able to see the vagina, or really anything. At the beginning of the case I had trouble getting all of the tissue out of the way to see where I was actually going with the manipulator, so I did the next best thing I could think of: I followed the Foley, traced it back with my hand, and essentially aimed the manipulator where my hand was.
About 45 minutes into the case, the surgeon says from the console that "things don't look right" and to make sure that there are no obvious problems. She was dissecting down to the uterus and was having trouble identifying the fascial planes she was looking for. She specifically asked me if I was sure I was in the vagina and not the rectum; I double-checked and told her that I was pretty sure that I was. Another 5-10 minutes goes by, she again says that "this just isn't right," and gets up from the console and comes to the table. She double-checks everything with the resident and again asks me if I'm sure I'm in the vagina.
I really dig in to see where I'm at with the manipulator, and to my absolute and sheer horror I see that I'm in the rectum and not in the vagina. Whether I was in the wrong place to begin with or whether it slipped out of the vagina and into the rectum I wasn't sure, but the net result was that the surgeon effectively dissected down the wrong fascial planes for a good half hour of the case. I pull the manipulator out and, after a couple of seconds (during which I'm more or less in complete shock and expecting quite the lashing), I tell her that I was in the rectum and not the vagina. To my complete surprise, she was actually very nice about it. She said something very similar happened with another patient a few months back, but the mistake wasn't caught until much later and the patient had some significant complications as a result. Also to my surprise, she didn't so much as raise her voice at me or otherwise berate me.
Because I had been applying quite a bit of force in there (since she was obese and had a lot of tissue to move around), we had to get a GI doc in to do a quick flex sig and make sure that no major damage to the rectum/bowel had been done. He gets the scope in and, adding to my horror, I see some mild-moderate bruising along the mucosa where the manipulator had been. Fortunately, though, there was no overt bleeding or perforation, and he said that there shouldn't be any problems. We get back in position (triple-checking that the manipulator was actually in the vagina) and the rest of the case goes well.
That was by far my lowest point in medical school. I've never felt so incompetent or idiotic in my life. I mean, knowing the difference between the rectum and the vagina is something that doesn't require medical training to understand. The degree of shame I felt is simply indescribable. Even a year later I still cringe when I think about it.
So, anytime you're having a bad time in school or you otherwise think you're incompetent, remember this story and tell yourself, "at least I didn't **** up that badly."
@NickNaylor Out of curiosity, is this something the patient is told about afterward? I really have no clinical experience so the answer to that may be obvious to everyone except me. Also, I admire that you're willing to share an experience you found so shameful/embarrassing for the benefit of others.
Since there was an added procedure - a scope done by GI - one would hope the patient was in some way informed...
How exactly that conversation occurs is a different matter.
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Yeah, actually you do. Bc so far it's
.
Its not your fault you couldn't even see it, How do you know you're in the wrong hole if you can't even see it?
As a general rule on rotations, if you have any questions you ask. If you can't see the hole, then you have her spread her legs till you can see clearly where you're inserting it before you do an invasive procedure, no matter how fat she may be. Malpractice doesn't look too kindly on formalities. Can't see the hole? Then you don't do the procedure.
Thank you for sharing this. I think contributions like this really make SDN a valuable place/resource. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but glad everything worked out okay in the end.
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I agree very brave of him to tell the story. Really helps the rest of us as having perspective is so important in medical school. Glad the attending or resident didn't lose her **** on him. I would have been prepared for it.
I don't think there are any words, or combination of words, that could express how horrible that sounds. I am so sorry.
Well it is my fault because, as @DermViser said, if there was any doubt then I should've asked. I had misplaced confidence in my ability to get in the right place and certainly didn't want to be the third year student asking which hole is which. Lesson learned.
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