Old_Mil said:
Llenroc, you've broken the code. As I said elsewhere, why should a successful, intelligent man want to marry a woman who is more interested in changing a stranger's catheter than her own baby's diaper in the middle of the night?
Not that there's anything wrong with women wanting to be doctors - if that's what you want to do, go for it. But understand that every decision in life has an opportunity cost associated with it and if the pursuit of your career makes you a less eligible woman in the eyes of successful men, well...that's life.
I suspect that's why you see women doctors end up with guys in everything from blue collar occupations on down the line - if they end up with a guy at all. Someone like that sees a meal ticket - a more successful guy says to himself, "I don't have to put up with this!"
i agree. While I am not primarily worried about having my wife as a care giver to my children or housekeeper, as I can hire both, I want a woman who would be willing to sacrifice career, in some capacities, to ensure that she can retain most of the traditional family oriented responsibilities of a woman.
I think most women who are successful careerwise tend to have masculine characteristics that are unappealing to most men. Ambition, intelligence, and personality can all be sexy, but not when coupled with competitiveness and entitlement. When we hear about women's careers and how men ought to pick up the slack, no one mentions the ego that comes with such a career. I think men can be very accomodating, but just as a woman does not want to be known for masculine traits, such as being aggressive, loud, unkempt, competitive...a man does not want to be known as being passive, soft, and other feminine qualities. Very few men want to be emasculized for the remainder of their lives, and even though women joke about "whipping" their man, I doubt many woman want a man they can push around either.
I want to marry a female doctor. I think that we all choose this profession for the same reasons, essentially, and it was probably the most educated decision we could make. I don't see anything wrong with doing what you're good at and being well compensated for it. I think someone doing nursing would only do it if they are incapable of being a doctor, for whatever reason, and I would not treat them equally. therefore I could not have a successful relationship with them. If you don't like my reasoning, you don't have to marry me. Its my preference, and it applies to nearly every field, from engineering to even law (with the case of people doing law, they often are finacially well off, not as much as doctors but still good...but they have different personality traits than the science-y types we have here).
I've dated many girls and most of them have pride in what they do, and it becomes annoying when you have no respect for their career. I am thinking: "I don't care if you're goign to be a teacher and you tell me how tough it is these days; why would you do it? its a low end low prestige job...either you're incapable of something better or just senseless. Either way this won't work out."
I like most of you, had many options, and I chose this profession. Its a smart choice. Who better partner than an equal? of course, there needs to be a female/ male dynamic, where I am recognized as a man and she is a woman. But i think most MARRIED women are comfortable with this notion.
Now, for those who feel being a woman, in the traditional sense, is beneath them, they are either confined to be being perpetual singles or round two's for divorced men.
I think americans don't plan enough for family in general, so thats why so many divorces. People need to not only base marriages on love, but also on family and career compatibility. Doing so may require some sacrifices for prestige, especially for women, but the benefits certainly outweigh the costs. I am willing to bet most Asian/Indian docs are married.
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