Hmm...Shes right, I thought to myself. It reminded me of the old book title,
"All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten."
I love that book. It's by a guy named Robert Fulghum. I wrote a parody of it in med school.
With apologies to Robert Fulgum
Everything I Ever Really Needed To Know I Learned In Med School
Your peers are your enemies. Trust no one.
Never allow understanding to hinder memorization.
Everyone says they hate brown nosers but a good tongue in your ass can really cloud your values.
If a med student works really hard he may achieve a status slightly higher than that of feces, but only if he works really hard.
Medical curriculum will quickly adopt every weirdo cause that comes along.
Med school means easy money. Unfortunately it's easy money for med schools, book stores and lenders.
There are lots of ways to get sick and die and none of them look too fun.
Medicine doesn't really cure people. It's mainly a field dedicated to observing and categorizing suffering.
All other health care professionals (RNs, Pharmacists, PTs, orderlies and administrators) hate you.
Attendings would like to be indifferent but they don't have time.
Residents and Interns have only one group that they can abuse (Guess who!).
Basic science professors will never understand that you are not a Ph.D. student in their field.
Those with good attitudes dont really understand whats going on.
North Philadelphia is not a happy place.
If you had to pick a color to wear around sick people who bleed, vomit, drain and just generally ooze all day long would it be white?
Med school affords the opportunity for Type B people to upgrade to Type A and for Type As to break the 250 mmHg systolic mark.
Teamwork, cooperation and input from your colleagues can be a terrific source of annoyance.
Med school provides a unique opportunity to hate your profession before you even start it.
The vast quantities of knowledge you gain from the years of basic sciences will lay a fundamental, solid groundwork of utter confusion since you dont know anything about clinical medicine.
Any insanely arcane topic that seems utterly useless will be said to be on the (pick one: SAT, MCAT, USMLE 1,2,3,etc.).
Never ask a question if the professor looks like he might be about to end class.
Gross anatomy is provided chiefly to enhance the surreal nature of med school.
All of the above can mean A and B but not C.
Its amazing how a hospital with a good reputation can be so filthy, cluttered and disorganized.
And...
With apologies to Robert Fulgum
Everything I Ever Really Needed To Know I Learned In Clinical Clerkship
Nurses are mean and spiteful people. Shun them.
Whatever you do will be wrong. Accept that and enjoy.
Clinical grades are not subjective. They are really more like random chance.
Dont worry. A vindictive resident can not ruin your life, just your medical career.
It doesnt really matter what you are doing, just look busy while you are doing it.
The white coats lose their novelty very quickly.
Always introduce yourself as a student doctor. It is the best compromise between being thrown out of the room and being an outright fraud.
Your love of medicine will stay with you for your entire life. Your sanity, personal hygiene and libido will be gone by week two of your surgery clerkship.
Dont get your hopes up. Period.
... I hate Hartnell and Giroux. love Talbot, just a good grinding player. And after watching the 24/7 series before our winter classic, Bryzgalov is an "interesting" guy to say the least. "The universe is so humongous big."... Uhh, sounds good Bryzy. Overall, can't stand the organization. 
