Funniest Chief Complaints

[VCU07]

Allergies: Coumadin, "makes me turn purple."

True allergy "purple toe syndrome" secondary to coumadin.

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[Delo_Ohm]

Free clinic patients are the best...

"I wake up with numb hands because I ran out of purple pills and now they give me blue ones."
(it was a semi-legitimate CC)
--------------------
They may also certainly drive me out of primary care...

(very condensed version)...
Pt, "I am only here for my injections."
Me, "Ok, we just have a few additional questions first. Do you smoke?"
Pt, "Yeah, since I was 16 and I ain't quittin."
Me, "Ok, maybe we can come back to that. Are you ever short of breath?"
Pt, "Yeah, most of the time."
Me, "Do you have any allergies?"
Pt, "Yeah, seasonal, and to lots of other things."
Me, "Do you every feel your heart beating in your chest."
Pt, "Yeah, now that you mention it, I do all the time."
Me, "Well, I would like to revisit your smoking if we could. It seems to me that since you have allergies which will make it more difficult to breath, since you have a family history of cancer, you feel your heart beating in your chest, and since you are frequently short of breath, you would realize quite a few benefits if you quit smoking, or even cut back on the number of cigarettes you smoke per day."
Pt, "I won't tell you another time, it's cuz I'm fat. If I don't get my injections I'm gonna blow a gasket real quick - then you'll know why nobody likes me."

(Obesity was the "plight" she has been "stricken" with, the cause of all her problems, and completely out of her control.)
--------------------
What has happened to patient accountability?

 

[Jolie South]

Free clinic patients are the best...

"I wake up with numb hands because I ran out of purple pills and now they give me blue ones."
(it was a semi-legitimate CC)
--------------------
They may also certainly drive me out of primary care...

(very condensed version)...
Pt, "I am only here for my injections."
Me, "Ok, we just have a few additional questions first. Do you smoke?"
Pt, "Yeah, since I was 16 and I ain't quittin."
Me, "Ok, maybe we can come back to that. Are you ever short of breath?"
Pt, "Yeah, most of the time."
Me, "Do you have any allergies?"
Pt, "Yeah, seasonal, and to lots of other things."
Me, "Do you every feel your heart beating in your chest."
Pt, "Yeah, now that you mention it, I do all the time."
Me, "Well, I would like to revisit your smoking if we could. It seems to me that since you have allergies which will make it more difficult to breath, since you have a family history of cancer, you feel your heart beating in your chest, and since you are frequently short of breath, you would realize quite a few benefits if you quit smoking, or even cut back on the number of cigarettes you smoke per day."
Pt, "I won't tell you another time, it's cuz I'm fat. If I don't get my injections I'm gonna blow a gasket real quick - then you'll know why nobody likes me."

(Obesity was the "plight" she has been "stricken" with, the cause of all her problems, and completely out of her control.)
--------------------
What has happened to patient accountability?

And this is the reason why I couldn't do primary care.

 

[boaz]

Free clinic patients are the best...

"I wake up with numb hands because I ran out of purple pills and now they give me blue ones."
(it was a semi-legitimate CC)
--------------------
They may also certainly drive me out of primary care...

(very condensed version)...
Pt, "I am only here for my injections."
Me, "Ok, we just have a few additional questions first. Do you smoke?"
Pt, "Yeah, since I was 16 and I ain't quittin."
Me, "Ok, maybe we can come back to that. Are you ever short of breath?"
Pt, "Yeah, most of the time."
Me, "Do you have any allergies?"
Pt, "Yeah, seasonal, and to lots of other things."
Me, "Do you every feel your heart beating in your chest."
Pt, "Yeah, now that you mention it, I do all the time."
Me, "Well, I would like to revisit your smoking if we could. It seems to me that since you have allergies which will make it more difficult to breath, since you have a family history of cancer, you feel your heart beating in your chest, and since you are frequently short of breath, you would realize quite a few benefits if you quit smoking, or even cut back on the number of cigarettes you smoke per day."
Pt, "I won't tell you another time, it's cuz I'm fat. If I don't get my injections I'm gonna blow a gasket real quick - then you'll know why nobody likes me."

(Obesity was the "plight" she has been "stricken" with, the cause of all her problems, and completely out of her control.)
--------------------
What has happened to patient accountability?

Sometimes you have to wonder if the patient just has a death wish.

But they come anyway--because they don't want to be in pain...

 

[Delo_Ohm]

...

But they come anyway--because they don't want to be in pain...

And expect their care for free, with a smile, and complimentary coffee... Ok, off my rant and back to the funniest CC's

 

[bsteven2]

Tonight:
CC: Bump on my virginia
...the friend that came along for "moral support"
(friend 24 y.o F) CC: Lump in my breast....X 4years. After asking her what made it emergent this evening she looks at me with a half smile completely dumbfounded...Medically screened discharged.

 

[boaz]

Tonight:
CC: Bump on my virginia
...the friend that came along for "moral support"
(friend 24 y.o F) CC: Lump in my breast....X 4years. After asking her what made it emergent this evening she looks at me with a half smile completely dumbfounded...Medically screened discharged.

Pretty creative way of looking for fun with a med student.

 

[NAGNAM]

On psych this week:

"I had a battle with the devil for three days, and won"

 

[rmbsstock]

Sometimes you have to wonder if the patient just has a death wish.

But they come anyway--because they don't want to be in pain...

Is that related in anyway to what the philosopher Kent theory that states something to the fact " I am in pain therefore I exist" ( I am translating). Which means if I am NOT in pain then I must be numb, and I do not exist . It could be mental and physical pain...who knows..

 

[Droopy Snoopy]

On psych this week:

"I had a battle with the devil for three days, and won"

Did it involve a trip to Georgia and a fiddle?

Is that related in anyway to what the philosopher Kent theory that states something to the fact " I am in pain therefore I exist" ( I am translating). Which means if I am NOT in pain then I must be numb, and I do not exist . It could be mental and physical pain...who knows..

Somehow I don't think that's my patients are contemplating ancient philosophy (are you talking about Descartes?) when they come in demanding vicodin and oxycontin.

 

[keyslammer]

I especially love it when I am transcribing a report and the patient says they are allergic to:

Tylenol
Aspirin
Toradol

Hmmmm, wonder what they're wanting? Someone! Anyone!

 

[keyslammer]

And I REALLY love it when a female is on disability and she's pregnant, P4.

You are well enough to go through the physical demands of having sex and giving birth, but you are disabled from holding down ANY sort of a job. Even a desk/clerical job??????? How in the hell can that be?

 

[nlax30]

Little old lady we received in the ICU the other day for brady and possible syncope... CC: "I was shopping for a lawn mower, looked down at a Toro and next thing I remember I'm in an ambulance."

Best of all she described these syncopal/near-syncopal events as her "poo-outs" In midst of hidden giggles she must have said poo-outs like 20 times.

 

[Depakote]

Pt: "I had Schizodefective disorder"
Psych Attending: "You mean Schizoaffective disorder?"
Pt: "That's what I have now. I had schizodefective disorder but then I got better."

 

[LadyWolverine]

Free clinic patients are the best....What has happened to patient accountability?

What has happened to patient accountability is that we have taken it all away and instead made all of the patient's problems (including the ones involving lifestyle and patient choice) the physician's responsibility, and backed that up in the form of lawsuits and increased paperwork that have no effect whatsoever on patient care. Couple that with unrealistic expectations from patients, their families, Joint Commission, HIPAA, other administrative departments, government beaurocracies, and the legal system, and voila - you get today's nightmare medicolegal climate. Furthermore we take from the ever-shrinking productive class in this country, and deliver to an ever-growing non-productive class, in the form of taxpayer-subsidized benefits and entitlements. "Free clinic" patients are an example of exactly what's wrong with the system - many of them have no accountability, but nobody ever steps up to say, "enough is enough, you've been given several chances, now you're cut off." How many of you made appointments at free/university/etc. clinics for your patients on your medicine rotation, only to learn that they didn't show up for them? How many MA/Medicaid/etc. patients in pediatrics/IM/surgery/OB/you-name-it clinic didn't show up for their FREE (to the patient, at least) appointments, despite the fact that you either made the appointment, or called them to try to confirm? My preceptors called this the "clinic mentality." How many of your patients smoke/abuse alcohol or drugs/are obese, can somehow afford nice clothes/tech gadgets/cars, and yet demand that their "healthcare" for free? ("I can't pay the copay," "I can't afford my medication," "I didn't follow-up with the specialist you referred me to because I didn't have time," etc.) I often wonder - for how long will this system be sustainable?

And this is the reason why I couldn't do primary care.

I've got news for you, and you're not going to like it. This mentality and related problems don't stop at primary care. You see the same patients in EM, surgery, OB, and just about ever subspecialty of internal medicine there is. Pediatrics is also rife with these problems (irresponsible parents). People don't want to be responsible for their problems - as the doctor, they expect you to fix it, with no effort on their part. After all, you're the specialist, right? Vascular surgery? Oncology? ID? OB? CT surgery? Endocrine? A lot of your patients will be referred to you for the sequelae of poor lifestyle choices (smoking, obesity, poor diet, drug use, unprotected sex, etc.) You will have to address these problems, and then bang your head against the wall when your patient refuses to accept his/her behavior as the root of their problem.

I especially love it when I am transcribing a report and the patient says they are allergic to:

Tylenol
Aspirin
Toradol

Hmmmm, wonder what they're wanting? Someone! Anyone!

I had a patient in the ED (who came in by EMS for "severe excruciating pain everywhere, vitals totally stable, exam totally normal, and was yelling at the EMT who called her out for being a drug seeker and wasting an ambulance ride) who was allergic to Tylenol, Aspirin, Ibuprofen, Naproxen, Diclofenac(!), Toradol, Tramadol, Codeine, Morphine, Percocet, Vicodin, and Demerol. She seriously sat there, with a straight face (and very histrionic attitude), and rattled them off to me, just like that. I was like, "you've got to be kidding." And then she busts out with the punchline: "the only thing that works for my pain is something called Dilaudid." Like it's something I'd never heard of. Come on, lady. Give me a break. You haven't invented any new strategy here. Do these people really think that they're being original?

After giving me her 20-minute history and interrupting me every 5 seconds during her exam, and a normal EKG, she promptly left AMA after my attending told her that he would get her a chest Xray but would not give her any narcotics. But not before filing a complaint with both the city police (not kidding, she called them to the ED herself) and the hospital administration for the "unfair way in which she was treated."

Why do we cater to these people??

And I REALLY love it when a female is on disability and she's pregnant, P4.

You are well enough to go through the physical demands of having sex and giving birth, but you are disabled from holding down ANY sort of a job. Even a desk/clerical job??????? How in the hell can that be?

Again, this is a blatant abuse of the system, which is unfortunately all too common. I've seen plenty of G10P4s who are on disability or otherwise unemployed and on some sort of taxpayer-subsidized medical care plan who just keep having children over and over again that they cannot support. It's a very sad and very vicious cycle, but because we have taken away all accountability, it is ultimately the children that must suffer the consequences of the mother's poor choices.

There are plenty of people who are able-bodied and perfectly capable of working, they just choose not to. Many of them find tricky ways to end up on disability or on other taxpayer-subsidized programs. People come into the ED all the time for nebulous "back pain" for which they are seeking a disability claim. Of course, their exam is totally normal except for some "atypical" and "unreproducible" wincing or subjective exclamations of pain, and their very expensive workup (XR, CT, MRI, whathaveyou) is totally normal as well. Yet I guess they nag their PCPs enough to the point where they just admit defeat and sign the form. Yet many of these people have no difficultly hanging out on the street all day, using drugs and alcohol, having illegitimate children, and causing all sorts of mischief while the normal people go about their jobs.

I will admit I'm biased because I live across the street from taxpayer-subsidized housing that is given to tenants who are on disability. Some of these people are legitimately disabled, but just as many of them are just hoodlums who hang out on the street corner dealing drugs, throw things at my house and into my yard, ride illegal dirtbikes up and down the street the wrong way, and try to steal my car in the middle of the night.

What really gets me is that there are plenty of people who are legitimately disabled (wheelchair-bound, missing limbs, etc.) who WANT to work, yet have to jump through hoops to find employment.

 

[LadyWolverine]

...Just realized this is the funniest CC thread. Sorry for the off-topic rant above. Carry on.

 

[nascardoc]

Pt came in the ED for CP, so we had on on the floor for CP r/o, which turned out to be anxiety. When questioning him about what causes him to get nervous, he says, "Anytime I lay flat on my back, I have a hard time breathing because of my COPD, so I have to breathe with my mouth. I can't use my nose because it always congested. And that makes me nervous to lay on my back because if you can't breathe through your nose, you can't get air up there, you know, to your brain."

Needless to say, I was stunned when I heard that one. Who knew that when you breathe thru you nose, it only goes to your brain and when you breathe thru your mouth, it goes to the rest of the body, except the brain.

 

[Kittenmommy]

Tramadol

Ah! Meaghan (our beagle) is on that (along with a billion other pills that I have to shove down her throat several times a day) for hip dysplasia. I didn't know humans can take Tramadol too! This makes me very happy, because that means I can get it from the Target pharmacy instead of the vet's office. One of our cats is on Tapazole, and I get that from Target for half of what the vet charges.

Uh... I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread about Funny Chief Complaints, because animal stories are irrelevant though I did once have to take a cat to the vet because she had a string hanging out of her butt....

/

 

[christina30]

CC: "my mouth is dry and my feet are sweaty"

clearly, they were related.

 

[mooshika]

What has happened to patient accountability is that we have taken it all away and instead made all of the patient's problems (including the ones involving lifestyle and patient choice) the physician's responsibility, and backed that up in the form of lawsuits and increased paperwork that have no effect whatsoever on patient care. Couple that with unrealistic expectations from patients, their families, Joint Commission, HIPAA, other administrative departments, government beaurocracies, and the legal system, and voila - you get today's nightmare medicolegal climate. Furthermore we take from the ever-shrinking productive class in this country, and deliver to an ever-growing non-productive class, in the form of taxpayer-subsidized benefits and entitlements. "Free clinic" patients are an example of exactly what's wrong with the system - many of them have no accountability, but nobody ever steps up to say, "enough is enough, you've been given several chances, now you're cut off." How many of you made appointments at free/university/etc. clinics for your patients on your medicine rotation, only to learn that they didn't show up for them? How many MA/Medicaid/etc. patients in pediatrics/IM/surgery/OB/you-name-it clinic didn't show up for their FREE (to the patient, at least) appointments, despite the fact that you either made the appointment, or called them to try to confirm? My preceptors called this the "clinic mentality." How many of your patients smoke/abuse alcohol or drugs/are obese, can somehow afford nice clothes/tech gadgets/cars, and yet demand that their "healthcare" for free? ("I can't pay the copay," "I can't afford my medication," "I didn't follow-up with the specialist you referred me to because I didn't have time," etc.) I often wonder - for how long will this system be sustainable?



I've got news for you, and you're not going to like it. This mentality and related problems don't stop at primary care. You see the same patients in EM, surgery, OB, and just about ever subspecialty of internal medicine there is. Pediatrics is also rife with these problems (irresponsible parents). People don't want to be responsible for their problems - as the doctor, they expect you to fix it, with no effort on their part. After all, you're the specialist, right? Vascular surgery? Oncology? ID? OB? CT surgery? Endocrine? A lot of your patients will be referred to you for the sequelae of poor lifestyle choices (smoking, obesity, poor diet, drug use, unprotected sex, etc.) You will have to address these problems, and then bang your head against the wall when your patient refuses to accept his/her behavior as the root of their problem.



I had a patient in the ED (who came in by EMS for "severe excruciating pain everywhere, vitals totally stable, exam totally normal, and was yelling at the EMT who called her out for being a drug seeker and wasting an ambulance ride) who was allergic to Tylenol, Aspirin, Ibuprofen, Naproxen, Diclofenac(!), Toradol, Tramadol, Codeine, Morphine, Percocet, Vicodin, and Demerol. She seriously sat there, with a straight face (and very histrionic attitude), and rattled them off to me, just like that. I was like, "you've got to be kidding." And then she busts out with the punchline: "the only thing that works for my pain is something called Dilaudid." Like it's something I'd never heard of. Come on, lady. Give me a break. You haven't invented any new strategy here. Do these people really think that they're being original?

After giving me her 20-minute history and interrupting me every 5 seconds during her exam, and a normal EKG, she promptly left AMA after my attending told her that he would get her a chest Xray but would not give her any narcotics. But not before filing a complaint with both the city police (not kidding, she called them to the ED herself) and the hospital administration for the "unfair way in which she was treated."

Why do we cater to these people??



Again, this is a blatant abuse of the system, which is unfortunately all too common. I've seen plenty of G10P4s who are on disability or otherwise unemployed and on some sort of taxpayer-subsidized medical care plan who just keep having children over and over again that they cannot support. It's a very sad and very vicious cycle, but because we have taken away all accountability, it is ultimately the children that must suffer the consequences of the mother's poor choices.

There are plenty of people who are able-bodied and perfectly capable of working, they just choose not to. Many of them find tricky ways to end up on disability or on other taxpayer-subsidized programs. People come into the ED all the time for nebulous "back pain" for which they are seeking a disability claim. Of course, their exam is totally normal except for some "atypical" and "unreproducible" wincing or subjective exclamations of pain, and their very expensive workup (XR, CT, MRI, whathaveyou) is totally normal as well. Yet I guess they nag their PCPs enough to the point where they just admit defeat and sign the form. Yet many of these people have no difficultly hanging out on the street all day, using drugs and alcohol, having illegitimate children, and causing all sorts of mischief while the normal people go about their jobs.

I will admit I'm biased because I live across the street from taxpayer-subsidized housing that is given to tenants who are on disability. Some of these people are legitimately disabled, but just as many of them are just hoodlums who hang out on the street corner dealing drugs, throw things at my house and into my yard, ride illegal dirtbikes up and down the street the wrong way, and try to steal my car in the middle of the night.

What really gets me is that there are plenty of people who are legitimately disabled (wheelchair-bound, missing limbs, etc.) who WANT to work, yet have to jump through hoops to find employment.

You "cater" to those people because they are ill, and you are a provider. And maybe they are breaking the law, but as a provider you aren't there to punish them for that.

Lots of life is unfair, and sure, there are plenty of people who are malingerers and take advantage of the system, and plenty of people who need assistance or a job and can't get one. And you are going to see them all. I believe that you have to fight those fights in the appropriate way, and not be judging patients as a caregiver because you happen to think that their claim to disabiity is not "legitimate" in your eyes. That is not your business. What you can do, is your job.

One thing you have to be very careful about is becoming hardened to the abuse that goes on, and the people who seem to be part of the problem. If you start to make assumptions about "the drunks" and "the malingerers" and "the drug seekers" you can easily miss a red flag that will come back on you. You can't just assume anything. Just because alcoholic somebody has been in the ED over and over again just to get some shut-eye or some food or some attention or some ativan doesn't mean that on the next time he comes in he doesn't have a subdural bleed that will kill him by morning because he fell and hit his head when he was drunk. I see providers get hardened attitudes and miss out on findings that are legitimate.

Who is to say someone is or is not in pain?

 

[nlax30]

Needless to say, I was stunned when I heard that one. Who knew that when you breathe thru you nose, it only goes to your brain and when you breathe thru your mouth, it goes to the rest of the body, except the brain.

Duh!! Physio 101

 

[mooshika]

...

 

[Depakote]

You "cater" to those people because they are ill, and you are a provider. And maybe they are breaking the law, but as a provider you aren't there to punish them for that.

Lots of life is unfair, and sure, there are plenty of people who are malingerers and take advantage of the system, and plenty of people who need assistance or a job and can't get one. And you are going to see them all. I believe that you have to fight those fights in the appropriate way, and not be judging patients as a caregiver because you happen to think that their claim to disabiity is not "legitimate" in your eyes. That is not your business. What you can do, is your job.

One thing you have to be very careful about is becoming hardened to the abuse that goes on, and the people who seem to be part of the problem. If you start to make assumptions about "the drunks" and "the malingerers" and "the drug seekers" you can easily miss a red flag that will come back on you. You can't just assume anything. Just because alcoholic somebody has been in the ED over and over again just to get some shut-eye or some food or some attention or some ativan doesn't mean that on the next time he comes in he doesn't have a subdural bleed that will kill him by morning because he fell and hit his head when he was drunk. I see providers get hardened attitudes and miss out on findings that are legitimate.

Who is to say someone is or is not in pain?

I appreciate you taking the time to post this. As medical students, they don't really teach us to approach these patients objectively and thoroughly while reserving our opinions for places where they might be more appropriately expressed (like an anonymous internet forum).

 

[boaz]

I work at a county run crisis center that is part of the neighboring medical center and serves as the ED for psych and substance abuse. The other night I got:

Me: Hi Mr. X, my name is Y. Can you tell me what happened and why you came here tonight?

Mr. X: Well I was drinking some 40's, and then I was real real drunk, and then I fell, and then I woke up under the bridge. No idea how I got there.


Another patient -

Me: Hi Mr. X, mt name is Y. What brings you here tonight?

Mr. X: Them cops brought me in cause my damn wife told them I'm bat**** crazy!


A kid: (tiny, skinny, is 13 but looks maybe 10)

Me: Hi "X" my name is Y. So what happened? Can you tell me why you are here?

Kid: My mother and grandmother are real fat and they eat all the food. So I get real mad when there isn't any left over for me, and my mom won't cook dinner for me. I threw some plates, and they called the police.

OMG seriously? Wow.

 

[LadyWolverine]

I appreciate you taking the time to post this. As medical students, they don't really teach us to approach these patients objectively and thoroughly while reserving our opinions for places where they might be more appropriately expressed (like an anonymous internet forum).

lol, Depakote.

Thank you, pre-med, for schooling me in the ways of "fair and non-judgmental patient care." How refreshing. If my eyes could roll any further back in my head, I'd be able to see my brain.



Just because people who abuse the system have the occasional legitimate complaint doesn't mean that we should just accept the rest of their behavior as "the way it is." We simply don't have the resources to make it sustainable.

 

[rmbsstock]

You "cater" to those people because they are ill, and you are a provider. And maybe they are breaking the law, but as a provider you aren't there to punish them for that.

Lots of life is unfair, and sure, there are plenty of people who are malingerers and take advantage of the system, and plenty of people who need assistance or a job and can't get one. And you are going to see them all. I believe that you have to fight those fights in the appropriate way, and not be judging patients as a caregiver because you happen to think that their claim to disabiity is not "legitimate" in your eyes. That is not your business. What you can do, is your job.

One thing you have to be very careful about is becoming hardened to the abuse that goes on, and the people who seem to be part of the problem. If you start to make assumptions about "the drunks" and "the malingerers" and "the drug seekers" you can easily miss a red flag that will come back on you. You can't just assume anything. Just because alcoholic somebody has been in the ED over and over again just to get some shut-eye or some food or some attention or some ativan doesn't mean that on the next time he comes in he doesn't have a subdural bleed that will kill him by morning because he fell and hit his head when he was drunk. I see providers get hardened attitudes and miss out on findings that are legitimate.

Who is to say someone is or is not in pain?

Although, I agree 100% with LadyWolverine and I love the passion in her post, I also agree with you 100% too. I will tell you why.
Someone I know very well went to the ED five years ago and he was an old man. He was not dressed very well and had a hearing problem. He told them that he usually does not go to the ED but he is not doing well he has stopped his heart medications to do a cataract surgery....According to him, they did some tests on him and told him he was fine, nothing to worry about . He went home and after two hours went back to the same ED, and the same story happened again.
The third time he went there, one of the triage nurses (according to him) was acting rude and rough, so although she told him to go in and wait in an exam room, he collected his meds and papers and drove home.
At breakfast that morning, he was telling his wife what happened every time he went to the ED and how he felt insulted by that nurse and he felt that people were not taking him seriously. He got quiet and his wife came out of the kitchen to find him dead on the breakfast table.
He was a decorated Colonel who fought in the Korean war, Vietnam war and was mentioned in history books for taking command of the US army in a big battle after the commander was captured by the enemy. He was also a pilot and had two Purple Hearts after being shot down. He was very well to do, but always dressed in a jumpsuit because he used to love his pilot days and loved his jumpsuits.
It was sad to hear that a 24 year old kid mistreated him as the last thing he got from his people before he died with a massive stroke.

 

[FutureCTDoc]

lol, Depakote.

Thank you, pre-med, for schooling me in the ways of "fair and non-judgmental patient care." How refreshing. If my eyes could roll any further back in my head, I'd be able to see my brain.



Just because people who abuse the system have the occasional legitimate complaint doesn't mean that we should just accept the rest of their behavior as "the way it is." We simply don't have the resources to make it sustainable.

If you can roll them just a little bit further, that means you never need a neuro consult.

 

[mooshika]

Wow. What a bitchy, nasty, thing to say, med student! That's horrible.

lol, Depakote.

Thank you, pre-med, for schooling me in the ways of "fair and non-judgmental patient care." How refreshing. If my eyes could roll any further back in my head, I'd be able to see my brain.



Just because people who abuse the system have the occasional legitimate complaint doesn't mean that we should just accept the rest of their behavior as "the way it is." We simply don't have the resources to make it sustainable.

 

[mooshika]

That is a sad story.

The thing is, I agree with her too, and I was not intending to disparage her personally - I work in a very stressful environment with the poorest of the poor, the craziest of the crazies and it is often the last stop off when no one else wants to treat most of them, the families can't handle them anymore, and we get a lot of re-treads without insurance who use and abuse the system, some have records 5" thick and they still chug along and keep showing up, sometimes they act like its a big game.

I am not a med student yet, but I am a provider and I often have a lot of responsibility especially at nights and weekends when I am responsible for the medical well-being of everyone who walks in our door. I talk to a lot of nurses and psychiatrists on the phone giving them report on patients we are trying to get beds for, and I can promise you the word "legitimate" is never uttered when discussing a patient's CC. But a lot of people I talk to are real tired, and real worn out from the real world in an ED or a psych ward. What I DO know, is that at first it seems like you really know what's really going on, who is drug seeking, who is using the system to get a meal (they are that hungry? give them a meal if you have it...) and get outraged about it, but when you are the one who is responsible for someone's care, and it is your signature and your license on the line, you get humble real quick. You can't ever take that attitude because the truth is, no one really knows.


Don't think I deserved the nasty retort, however.

Although, I agree 100% with LadyWolverine and I love the passion in her post, I also agree with you 100% too. I will tell you why.
Someone I know very well went to the ED five years ago and he was an old man. He was not dressed very well and had a hearing problem. He told them that he usually does not go to the ED but he is not doing well he has stopped his heart medications to do a cataract surgery....According to him, they did some tests on him and told him he was fine, nothing to worry about . He went home and after two hours went back to the same ED, and the same story happened again.
The third time he went there, one of the triage nurses (according to him) was acting rude and rough, so although she told him to go in and wait in an exam room, he collected his meds and papers and drove home.
At breakfast that morning, he was telling his wife what happened every time he went to the ED and how he felt insulted by that nurse and he felt that people were not taking him seriously. He got quiet and his wife came out of the kitchen to find him dead on the breakfast table.
He was a decorated Colonel who fought in the Korean war, Vietnam war and was mentioned in history books for taking command of the US army in a big battle after the commander was captured by the enemy. He was also a pilot and had two Purple Hearts after being shot down. He was very well to do, but always dressed in a jumpsuit because he used to love his pilot days and loved his jumpsuits.
It was sad to hear that a 24 year old kid mistreated him as the last thing he got from his people before he died with a massive stroke.

 

[mooshika]

And the mom and the grandmother were both really huge, one of them was i a wheelchair she was so fat. So bizarre. The kid was really cute too. He was so proud of his Cherokee name, he told me all about it.

OMG seriously? Wow.

 

[Droopy Snoopy]

Wow. What a bitchy, nasty, thing to say, med student! That's horrible.

No one ever wins an argument on the internet, so how about you GTFO unless you have something to add in the way of a "Funniest Chief Complaint" The ones you posted were lame, and I didn't come on here to read a draft of your personal statement.

 

[mooshika]

Excuse me? Your comment has been reported to the moderators.

I hate to tell you, but sick people show up in the ED, and people are going to make comments on public forums you don't like - I know it's difficult to tolerate us lowlifes from your lofty position.

Moo.

No one ever wins an argument on the internet, so how about you GTFO unless you have something to add in the way of a "Funniest Chief Complaint" The ones you posted were lame, and I didn't come on here to read a draft of your personal statement.

 

[Kittenmommy]

Oh, come on, people! Where are all the funny chief complaints I was promised? *throws hands up in frustration*

OK, here's one that I mentioned above. I once noticed that the kitty in my icon had a string hanging out of her butt. Yes, a string. Hanging out of her butt.

I knew better than to try to pull it out because depending on how long the string is, pulling on it can do pretty awful things to the intestines. So we rushed her to the vet... who proceeded to tug on it (gently!) until it came out.

It turned out to be the tail from one of her toy mice. She must have chewed it off and eaten it. So she had a tail coming out of her butt. Ironic, isn't it?

 

[Depakote]

*sigh*

Ok. Let's start over and get back to the original intent of this thread and keep the posting civil.

Funny Chief Complaints. Go!

 

[Kittenmommy]

*sigh*

Ok. Let's start over and get back to the original intent of this thread and keep the posting civil.

Funny Chief Complaints. Go!

I just noticed that your location is "SOCMOB". That's just asking for trouble!

 

[christina30]

CC: "penis stuck in bottle"

.

 

[Amxcvbcv]

Not a chief complaint, but a transcription error on an ER patient.

"55-year-old patient with COPD who uses home 02."

transcribed as...

"55-year-old patient with COPD who's a homo too."

This wasn't from powerscribe. It was from a real, live transcriptionist.

Full disclosure: this wasn't mine. I got it from an ER resident.

 

[LadyWolverine]

Not a chief complaint, but a transcription error on an ER patient.

"55-year-old patient with COPD who uses home 02."

transcribed as...

"55-year-old patient with COPD who's a homo too."

This wasn't from powerscribe. It was from a real, live transcriptionist.

 

[KELA]

CC: skin tag on penis
diagnosis: gential warts

 

[yeasterbunny]

Not a chief complaint, but a transcription error on an ER patient.

"55-year-old patient with COPD who uses home 02."

transcribed as...

"55-year-old patient with COPD who's a homo too."

This wasn't from powerscribe. It was from a real, live transcriptionist.

Full disclosure: this wasn't mine. I got it from an ER resident.

Oh man, we could probably start a whole other thread about funny transcription errors. My latest was a patient whose Karnofsky performance status came out as his "colonoscopy performance status." I wonder if that refers to how well he performs the procedure or how well he performs while the procedure is done on him?

 

[Delo_Ohm]

Oh man, we could probably start a whole other thread about funny transcription errors. My latest was a patient whose Karnofsky performance status came out as his "colonoscopy performance status." I wonder if that refers to how well he performs the procedure or how well he performs while the procedure is done on him?

What type of performing do you do while you receive a colonoscopy?

 

[Aphasic]

CC: They took my vodka

Pt who came into the ED w/ 2 bottles of vodka, one in each hand, and the next day told us he couldn't remember anything abt the previous day but if he had vodka he was "holding it for a friend" b/c he didn't drink anymore.

 

[Aphasic]

CC: Crak, Herwin, Likur

Obv I'm on psych

 

[StritchMD2011]

"Get the F**K away from me you white BI*CH."

...She didn't like white males.

Inpatient psych.

 

[organdonor]

Dry forehead

 

[bball25]

Pt 1:
Allergy: Benedryl
when asked what happens, pt responds "it causes my throat to close up and I can't breath."
Hmmmmm

Pt 2
PMH: none
Prior hospitalizations: a year ago for systemic candidiasis
Hmmmmm

 

[Kittenmommy]

Pt 1:
Allergy: Benedryl
when asked what happens, pt responds "it causes my throat to close up and I can't breath."
Hmmmmm

I once met someone on the 'net who claimed to be allergic to Benadryl. I was skeptical, but you never know.

 

[christina30]

I once met someone on the 'net who claimed to be allergic to Benadryl. I was skeptical, but you never know.

A lot of people come through the ER claiming to be allergic to Potassium and Sodium. Hmmmm

 

[MiniMoo]

I once met someone on the 'net who claimed to be allergic to Benadryl. I was skeptical, but you never know.

It could be an allergy to an inactive ingredient in the Benadryl.

Anyways, this thread was extremely entertaining. Glad I randomly clicked on it.

 

[Kittenmommy]

A lot of people come through the ER claiming to be allergic to Potassium and Sodium. Hmmmm

Odd. And here I thought that the human body needed potassium and sodium to function properly. Maybe the patients are from another planet?

It could be an allergy to an inactive ingredient in the Benadryl.

That's probably it. There was a patient on House who was allergic to epinephrine. It turned out that he was allergic to the preservative that was in it, IIRC. And I know someone IRL who is allergic to the preservatives they put in eyedrops. She has to go to a compounder to get eyedrops for her dry eyes.