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Hard to get married after 30?

Discussion in 'Spouses and Partners' started by water23, Oct 11, 2011.

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  1. water23

    water23

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    So I'm a 29 year old medical student and very single...sort of worried that I'm not going to get married because prospects slim down considerably after the age of 30, right? Am I doomed? :confused:
  2. ChubbyBaby

    ChubbyBaby V. Beariano

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    are you a girl?
  3. water23

    water23

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    yes
  4. Trolking

    Trolking

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    yup. it will get harder, especially if you feel time is running out. you will act more desperate and try to rush things more as you get older. you might want to think about why you are still single, identify what you did wrong in previous relationships. there are quite a few single attractive women at my school, i've noticed a couple patterns. some have redicuously high standards. this is not greys anatomy, you're not going to end up with dr. McDreamy. another is once they are in a relationship they expect to be treated like a princess. if you want that, date a janitor. med students have other stuff to do, their life cant revolve around you. i hope this was helpful, good luck
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2011
  5. J DUB

    J DUB Watch my TAN walk!! Lifetime Donor

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    doomed for marriage probably not unless you are damaged in some way....people dont want damaged goods.

    I would be more worried about having kids if you want them. That clock will be a ticking......:idea:
  6. Groove

    Groove Member

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    If you are a girl, probably not. If you are a guy, yes, it is very difficult.

    Guys after 30 have usually been living alone for a long time, no longer need a "mommy figure" in their life and generally feel like they can handle just about everything on their own. They typically either get married for:

    1)To start a family.
    2)Tired of not having a constant companion.

    However, old habits die hard... I'll leave it at that. Quite a challenge for someone who is very independent, but I believe you can meet the right one at any age. You can also overcome tough obstacles together, but they are not insurmountable.
  7. bidiboom

    bidiboom

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    If you get used to be independent, fond of your freedom in a single-person sense, and more than that, if you once understand the nature of human-being, than you dont see a good reason to open your privacy and sacrifice all you have while living on your own, for a person of whom actually you know anatomy very well.. if "under which circumstances, how he will react" is cristal-clear in your mind, and if this quality is not high enough for you (this changes from one to another because), then you leave to spend your time and energy to find a depth.

    Of course this is not healthy and satisfactory, but especially today's human quality get loosen so much that, this became more meaningful and satisfactory in this quality platform.

    So the point, to me, is not timing. Its the quality you will feel satisfied with.

    Personally I cant figure out how all those people can live one over the other, in such a big crowd, despite they neither contribute nor find the meaning human nature dies for.
  8. Kahr

    Kahr audi 5000 Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor

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    Not 30 yet, but I can identify with this. I'd add for myself that I've become much much more "picky" with what I want in a woman, less centered only around answering the question of "would I have sex with her?", and more around a checklist of qualities necessary for companionship (intelligence, education, desire for travel, etc); I suppose this is in line with your #2, but with stringent quality checks added.

    So, to answer the original question, yes it becomes more difficult. But why do you care, you're already engaged to your future career in medicine. :p
  9. Eilat87

    Eilat87 MS-4

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    As a man, I don't think it'd be harder to get married. In fact, I think you become more of an eligible bachelor as you age..

    As a male med student.. all we are.. are children (we're still in school at 25 for christ sakes) disguised as men who carry a large amount of debt.. and we have no income.. who the hell would want to marry into that?

    But as we get older, we get more established, gain stability, money comes and women are attracted to that.
  10. jdh71

    jdh71 si vis pacem, para bellum

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    don't get fat and you'll be fine
  11. UES Girl

    UES Girl

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    You aren't doomed. Plenty of people are in the same boat. :rolleyes:Where are you located ? :confused: How tall are you ?
  12. chidoman

    chidoman

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    .
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2012
  13. UES Girl

    UES Girl

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    Lol all you want. I made plenty of IRL friends off this website, I don't see why I can't get married off it. :rolleyes: I meet most men's criteria, I am hot, smart and love star trek.
  14. UCPharmer

    UCPharmer

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    Humble Much???
  15. UES Girl

    UES Girl

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    Not anymore than anyone with a screen name UCPharmer. :rolleyes::laugh:
  16. UES Girl

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    Plus you gotta sell yourself, it's not any different than med/pharm school interviews: you don't exactly say on your apps, " Hi, I am average, accept me.":laugh:
  17. UCPharmer

    UCPharmer

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    hmmm....UC= my initials.It just seems like you are very desperate looking for love on a forum, If you are so hot and smart, you'd think the real world or even a dating site would be a suitable place to find love.
  18. chidoman

    chidoman

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    .
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2012
  19. UES Girl

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    Desperately looking for love ? Are you for real ? :laugh::laugh::laugh: You are a noob to the forum, to I'll let this moronic comment slide. Half jokingly replying to a random thread started by a person you have .99% chance of meeting IRL hardly qualifies as " looking for love". As for hot and smart - no comment, that's a pretty nasty jab in my direction.
  20. UCPharmer

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    Sorry, it is what it is. Those who flaunt their beauty behind the screen...are usually the most unfortunate looking or have OTHER issues
  21. UCPharmer

    UCPharmer

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    You are fine! Most men with careers don't even marry until their mid-late 30's! Plus, the older you get married, the more you know its right and that you are ready for it. Unless your just looking for your 1st ex-wife. lol
  22. UES Girl

    UES Girl

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    You right on the money, in addition to OTHER issues :laugh: I also been told I significantly resemble this guy:


    [​IMG]
  23. UCPharmer

    UCPharmer

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    oooh along with being so stunning you are funny too. I am sure you can and will get any man....one who has had lobotomy to put you with your craziness.
  24. Kahr

    Kahr audi 5000 Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor

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    How is an online dating site any different than a forum? For that matter, how is a forum any different than a coffee shop or a supermarket? Hell, a forum is better, at least here we know we share some definite common ground.

    I won't comment on the point of people bragging about their qualities online. However, I will say that SDN seems like an amazing place to find a love interest, I already know so many of the women here are incredibly smart, driven, make or will make a great (and independent) living, share similar interests, and given many of their photos (despite often only being up for minutes) I know they're often good to great looking.

    Only difference between Cheb and a lot of people here, is that she's being completely candid and confident. I'm sure given the opportunity, lots of folks that interact well on SDN would give a real life relationship a chance even if they don't broadcast it openly. Anyway, I'll stop contributing to this thread hijack. ;)
    lumpyduster and miss x like this.
  25. bidiboom

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    Cheburashka is like Julia Luis-Dreyfuss and this thread turned to sitcom :laugh: .. but I liked her style ;)
  26. CristinaMed

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    I say B.S about older men being more eligible as bachelors as they age...I have dated a few older men lately (about 10 to 20 years older) and they act "old" and seem so lethargic - they aren't as optimistic, passionate, adventurous or energetic. They probably have erectile dysfunction too...but we didn't get to that stage.

    I find myself more attracted to guys about 5-10 years younger than me that earn less money or have less lucrative careers than these older guys. I know myself better now - I will never date a man 5 years older than me. Perhaps if I meet a youthful older man, I may change my mind but looking at my dating stats, I think this is unlikely.

    Call me a cradle robber if you want to, but I recently met a guy 10 years younger than me and I had the most interesting 3 hour conversation with him on a train ride...might develop into something interesting...
  27. UES Girl

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    If you dated people 20 years your senior :confused:, I don't know how you expected them to radiate youth. Anyone 20 years my senior would have to be past the tender age of 47, so I would not exactly :laugh: expect them to act like 20 year olds.


    As far as the rest: good, more older guys/men for the rest of us ! :luck:
  28. WhtsThFrequency

    WhtsThFrequency walk like a monkey, kick like a mule

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    I have definitely noticed a difference in sex drive and performance between early 20s and late 20s/early 30s in the men I have dated over the last decade. Just sayin. I prefer younger men for the mental/physical activeness (and stamina in bed), but older men for the mental/physical maturity (and more know-how in bed). Sigh. Can't have it all, I guess. Forgive me for jumping straight to sex. Thanksgiving at the bf's uncles house, and we have to sleep in separate rooms. Only managed to sneak in one quickie since thursday and I/we are going bonkers.
  29. Groove

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    How insightful. I'm latter edge of 30's, def old fart range by your standards and you couldn't have been more right. Don't let guys like me get on top, I might drool a little and mumble incomprehensibly before cashing in my chips at the 2 min marker. Plus, I'm not tall, but I work out a lot and am not light, so in the geriatric post orgasmic haze of dementia as cerebral capillary beds drain and neurons start shutting off, I might come crashing down into an oblivious slumber, pinning the unwary victim to the bed for several hours before I recover. Quite alarming. Whoever said old farts aren't dangerous, never had sex with one. "I've fallen and I can't get up!"? F' that. "I'm pinned and I can't get up!". Keep a cell with 911 memory dialed under the pillow sweetheart. Stick with that young dude and when he gets too old, pull a Demi and exchange that outdated merchandise. After all, you've got your health to think about.
  30. Groove

    Groove Member

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    Anybody seen my flomax?
  31. Groove

    Groove Member

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    Or my wife for that matter? Last I remember...is having sex. Now she's gone, and the bedroom looks ransacked. Neighbors said they saw an ambulance. There's an OPA and a bag vent mask on the floor and what even looks like a miller 2 blade. WTH happened over here? Wish I could remember.

    I gotta pee though. Where the hell is that flomax.
  32. UES Girl

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    Doctors and their love for brand names, you mean your tamsulosin ? :confused::laugh:

    We have a cool mneumonic for memorizing that one:

    If You have a period - you have a FLOW, flomax, so you need what ? A Tampon ! So you need Tamsulosin ! :laugh:
  33. bidiboom

    bidiboom

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    Hahahaha :laugh: a very technical description :laugh: but wait for late 40s 50s 60s huhuhu.. then we would love to hear the same things from you :p

    The other day I read someone talking about her "date statistics".. common man! to date, ok.. to date with more than a couple of, ok again.. but date stats :rolleyes: .. this means a dissatisfaction loop..
  34. Groove

    Groove Member

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    Once you've been around the drugs enough, you won't need any more help remembering the generic, but it's a funny mneumo for while you're in school. Once out, It'll be more about using names that patients remember. Good luck getting my pt's to remember generic names. Flomax? Maximize my pee pee flow? Now THAT, an 80yr old demented geriatric pt with BPH can remember. He doesn't have enough teeth to pronounce the generic.

    Amlodipine? For the love of God please don't try to pronounce or take the extra 15 mins to tell me that. Norvasc will do just fine, sir.

    Drug companies even hire psychologists to help come up with all these names.
  35. Groove

    Groove Member

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    Huh? You mean people have sex after 45? I better buy some stock in Cialis and Red Bull, otherwise there's no hope for me.
  36. maybemed2013

    maybemed2013

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    Online dating service, that is how I plan to meet my hubby. Another thing, if you are looking for money stop, alot of men dont have money, so just look for an average job and put him through lpn course so he can make 60+ a year, or put him through a mechanic school and you can open a shop and let him supervise or you can marry a handy man buy crappy houses and make him fix them and you can rent them out. Remember to get a pre-nup and never share bank accounts.
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2011
  37. UCPharmer

    UCPharmer

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    I like the way you think. As for the prenup...YES YES YES!!
  38. Therapist4Chnge

    Therapist4Chnge Neuropsych Ninja Faculty Moderator Emeritus

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    Wow...the last couple of posts....

    The average age for 1st marriage has gone up for both men and women, though I believe the median age is still 27. Being 30 (or over) is not a death knell, though I think it is a bit more pertinent for women who want kids. I do agree that being independant can be a barrier to marriage, for both women and men. I love my freedom, and whenever I am in a relationship there is a pull to not give it all up.
  39. docbrill

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    :laugh: :thumbup:
  40. MedTG

    MedTG Muppet of a Man.

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    Like many people have said above, it is only harder because you are used to being independent and are unwilling to settle for someone who is not a good fit. I am not saying they have to be perfect and meet every quality of your perfect person, but they have to be someone you work well with.

    A lot of folks in their teens and twenties still tend to just look for one quality; such as companionship, physical attractive, etc. instead of looking for a whole package that fits well. Granted some people are more mature than others in their twenties. Heck, some 20 year olds are more mature than people in their 30s; and that has a lot to do with it. A lot of relationships fail because one person is more mature than the other.
  41. futuredoc1004

    futuredoc1004 future_doc

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    Be happy with yourself! Another person is not a magic pill and over half the marriages end in divorce. So, as a first step it is important that you become fulfilled within yourself independently and autonomously. Mr. Right, just go along with your life and enjoy. If you are meant to find a soul mate, it will happen as you live the normal course of life. Age is just a number.
  42. Prncssbuttercup

    Prncssbuttercup Established Member -- OMSIII

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    OMG??? Are you kidding me with this post?? My cousin's wife is 39 and was married for the first time at 38, he was 42. They just had a baby, she is almost 40... Both very attractive people, but neither was willing to settle, she is a lawyer and he is way high up at Best Buy...

    I will add, you'll never find anyone if you don't look, and as I just said in another thread, as long as the guys you meet are secure enough to date a doctor, you'll be fine...
  43. AxeJ

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    No. 30's the new 20.
  44. AxeJ

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    Other way around, IMO. Girls age harder.
  45. AxeJ

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    And most guys really don't care about the profession of their potential mates.
  46. Danbo1957

    Danbo1957

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    Ding! We have a winner.

    Women just have to show up, be interested, and keep their baggage out of it. That being said, you don't get to choose when and whom you marry, marriage just happens.

    But as a woman, your choice of profession does reduce your chances of marrying due to your need for eleven years of graduate education and then working 80 hours a week for the next twenty years. I sat in a meeting recently with eight doctors, the three men were married (none to health providers), the five women were not. Anecdotal, but good luck...
  47. J DUB

    J DUB Watch my TAN walk!! Lifetime Donor

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    women have a harder time as they lose their looks.........

    men typically age better.
  48. AxeJ

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    Yup.
  49. NWS

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    we got a winner!!!!!!!!!
  50. zigmaz

    zigmaz

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    I sort of agree with 30s is the new 20s. But I am male in my mid 30s now and still single. I am available if anypone is interested. :p I am also Canadian and virgin. LOL!

    I am wondering if there is any dating site for us doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc?
    miss x likes this.

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