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Hard to meet new girls?

Discussion in 'Spouses and Partners' started by kl323, Dec 19, 2011.

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  1. kl323

    kl323

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    Hey all...

    I've been in a relationship for 4 years. I'm half way through med school now and my relationship is likely to be over soon. Because of this pending doomed relationship, I haven't put myself out there to meet people or make many friends...

    Now that this has happened, I feel so alone and with nothing much left besides my family and some old friends...

    How hard is it to meet someone new as a 25 year old male med student? I'm just devastated over this relationship that is about to be over...

    Just trying to vent and get some load off my shoulder....
  2. paintballdoc

    paintballdoc

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    Are you really upset that a relationship is over? You are ONLY 25yo. Get out and meet some new girls/friends. Don't be crying on a computer. Sheesh.

    If I was 25yo again and in your shoes, I would be going to aerobics classes/dance classes/tennis classes/hanging out in the med school library. Anything that sort of interests you that will have plenty of girls at. Do guy things to build relationships with other guys--basketball, rock climbing, jogging, etc. Actually, jogging and rock climbing would be a great way to be around girls.

    One last piece of advice. Let the break-up "cool down" for a month or so before trying to get back to dating. Don't want to appear too anxious/desperate. Be cool.
  3. bidiboom

    bidiboom

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    To me, the worst way of getting over the fatigue of the dissatisfaction of a relationship with a human, is to use another human. Its masturbative. Again to me, to live on yourself for some time, and to wait until you meet someone you really have something in your heart, is better.

    We need to feel our own internal voices, instead of suppressing it in crowd.
  4. thegirlfriend

    thegirlfriend

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    to the OP-
    do you mind me asking why it's "about to be over"?

    and if you're so eager to meet someone new when your relationship isn't even over yet, then you must not be too torn up about it ending.

    but i agree with what's been said. chill out a bit. i feel like starting a new relationship right in the middle of med school is a bad idea anyway, unless it's with someone who is doing the same thing. you've got plenty of time to meet someone.
  5. Prncssbuttercup

    Prncssbuttercup Established Member -- OMSII

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    Or, the OP is the type of person who can't stand being alone. I had plenty of friends in college, and now, that have to be in a relationship at all times because they are 'co-dependent' and if they don't have someone, they tweak.

    OP, you're 25, busy, and a med student. Are there no single dateable women in your school? You don't think there will be single date-able women in rotations/residency etc? Focus on school, and maybe figure that if it ended now it's a lesson, maybe don't start anything serious until you're done with school...
  6. jdh71

    jdh71 si vis pacem, para bellum

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    Yeah. Well. That's some bull**** right there, for sure. I feel you. I promise I do.

    Interestingly enough for reasons the psychologists can tell you people ending a relationship for whatever reason desperately try and seek out another one. The rebound never works for anyone and we all know it.

    It may sound crazy but the best thing you can be right now is single. And I'm not saying that because you get to be a swingin' dick, nailing chicks right and left and whatnot (though I will point out this behavior is definitely frowned upon while in a relationship, so you can do this now, but it's not my point). You need to learn to be single again. Figure yourself out. Figure out life out. Deal with the existential angst and the loneliness, learn to live again and laugh again - find yourself - define yourself. Grow. :)

    I know it hurts. It's supposed to. One of the ways we know we are alive, and that things had meaning, for if it wasn't for the hurt, would we know that we had the capacity to love and care?

    There will be plenty of opportunities for a young physician in school/training to date and meet new people. One door closed. Wait for the other to open and in the meantime . . . just be.

    Good luck friend. Via con dios.
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2011
  7. bidiboom

    bidiboom

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    Thats why I said wait. Actually the verb "wait" wasnt the most proper term. We dont need to wait anything to enjoy life on ourselves. We only need to explore ourselves, the satisfaction we can live independently. Later someone else may join us as well, but it starts in ourselves. To rush from one to the other creates kinda whirlpool. Better to get out this altogether.
  8. Prncssbuttercup

    Prncssbuttercup Established Member -- OMSII

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    Well said... I think we're all in agreement, the OP should not resume dating for an undetermined amount of time... (Gavel strikes desk)

    Best of luck OP :) learn to function in life by yourself. It makes you appreciate others more...
  9. kl323

    kl323

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    Thanks for the feedback. I thought for a few days and it makes sense for me to really learn about myself and my mistakes from the past.

    It would be premature to jump in to anything else... Thanks!
  10. EeePC1005PR

    EeePC1005PR

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    You'll have plenty of chances to meet new girls. Maintain contact with other schools through social or sports clubs. In general I found faculties of Art and Commerce tend to have the prettiest girls. But that may just be my over generalisation.

    Once you start working , hospitals and outside clinics are worlds in themselves. You'll meet lots of new people be it other doctors, nurses, physiotherapist, pharmacist etc. it's a whole wide community out there and plenty of chance to get to know them. On your few days off, you can still meet normal, non-medical people from outside.

    You also have youth and advantageous male gender on your side, don't have the pressure of aging ovaries. So just relax. Concentrate on your study and you'll meet someone soon enough.
  11. Gpan

    Gpan

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    have you checked out your school PA program, Pharmacy program, MPH program or any other programs there are out there? PLENTY OF FISHES IN THE SEA. Happy hooking :)
  12. 235788

    235788 God Complex

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    e-harmony :smuggrin:
  13. Doctor4Life1769

    Doctor4Life1769 **tr0llin, ridin dirty**

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    I've not employed this tactic since college. But, I may start doing this again, soon.

    However, go to a bar on a Fri or Sat night.

    Lots of hot females roaming around. Just start talking to 'em, get their digits, dance, whatever. Can be the start of something good.
  14. Gpan

    Gpan

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    if u wanna hook up only. Quality girls rarely wanna meet their future husbands in bars.
  15. Doctor4Life1769

    Doctor4Life1769 **tr0llin, ridin dirty**

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    works unless you're a serial monogamist.
  16. Gpan

    Gpan

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    not me :). play it, enjoy it, appreciate it, bag it, learn from it. Be safe playa :smuggrin:
  17. devyn

    devyn toight like a tiger Moderator

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    Where do they meet them then???? Oh wise one :rolleyes:
    miss x likes this.
  18. 235788

    235788 God Complex

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    church or a funeral
  19. Doctor4Life1769

    Doctor4Life1769 **tr0llin, ridin dirty**

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    nah.

    at a wedding. :laugh:
  20. Gpan

    Gpan

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    definitely not in this forum.
    Try the gyms, malls, bookstores, sporting events, art galleries, wine tasting classes, the zoo (for u) just to name a few.
    Bars = 1nightstand
  21. devyn

    devyn toight like a tiger Moderator

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    Wedding crashers!!!!!

    Yeah let me get right on that :rolleyes: You really have no idea what you are talking about.... I have many friends who met their husbands/wives at bars/pubs, so I think you might need to reevaluate.

    And bars do not equal one night stand unless that is what you want. I sure as hell do not meet a lad at a pub and then go have sex with him. I am not sure WTF you are doing. But it is possible to go have a chat or banter with a lad at a pub and then turn it into a relationship with having no physical contact at all the night you meet them. You just have to go to the right pubs.

    How old are you?
  22. PrincetonDogMom

    PrincetonDogMom

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    Met my guy at a friend's party. Are parties no longer in fashion?
  23. J DUB

    J DUB Watch my TAN walk!! Lifetime Donor

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    I like meeting mine at the strip club, Victoria Secret, speciality shops.......anywhere good fun can be had. :D
  24. MaxillofacialMN

    MaxillofacialMN Osteopathic Foot Dentist

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    I think your last question is the point... I dunno how old you are, but sure, like a 30+ could find a significant other in a bar. 20-25s are going to bars to get sloshed and have sex.
  25. WhtsThFrequency

    WhtsThFrequency walk like a monkey, kick like a mule

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    I think both of you have good points, but we're talking about different sorts of bars/pubs.

    Some loud, messy, undergrad-ridden shot bar? Yeah, you're not going to find anything meaningful there.

    But the low-key blues pub where older people (grad students, townies, etc) get together the play darts and pool? Quite possibly.

    It's all about the maturity of the crowd and what you (and they) are looking for. Like devyn said, it's about finding the right pubs that don't stink of college herpes.

    I rarely go downtown, but when I do, I have a few select bars that the older crowds frequent. The music is more blues and classic rock, not blasting pop drivel that will make your eardrums fizzle out. People are dressed like normal human beings, not strippers, and are there to socialize, relax, and shoot some pool or something. Totally different atmosphere.
  26. Doctor4Life1769

    Doctor4Life1769 **tr0llin, ridin dirty**

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  27. Dirk Funk

    Dirk Funk

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    You're a doctor. You can get anyone you want.
  28. dozitgetchahi

    dozitgetchahi

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    Lolololololololololololz good one.

    Maybe in 1955.

    Nowadays it doesn't carry as much weight, it seems.
  29. MaxillofacialMN

    MaxillofacialMN Osteopathic Foot Dentist

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    Woah woah woah WHAT?!? That's why I'm going to be a podiatrist!!! Women live doctors...... Time to go to law school I guess...
    miss x likes this.
  30. bp2313

    bp2313 Yummy

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    Nah, as a woman, I'm telling you doctors weigh more. :D
  31. Parklife

    Parklife

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    :laugh:


    Chip up OP. Hit the gym and get swole. That's honestly the healthiest option for you mentally, physically, emotionally. You hit all 3 on the nail. Nothing better than an educated, fit, fun doctor.

    :xf:
  32. Medstudent1968

    Medstudent1968

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    OP it shouldn't be hard if you put yourself out there. Personally, I find cold approaches to be fun and advantageous because there's less drama. I've gotten a number for something as simple as "let me help you lift that dog food." Just scan for a ring, think up something innocuous to ask about, read her body language and keep the conversation brief, ending with asking her name and getting her number if she seems interested. The only trick is that you have to make her laugh a few times in that time interval and you have to have a lot of confidence.

    And with regards to med school helping with women, it won't help if you have no game. Frankly I'm somewhere south of average when it comes to looks, but I'm generally entertaining/have game so med school provides an extra push. It won't make you, but it definitely, definitely helps.
  33. daarango

    daarango

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    Chip up OP. Hit the gym and get swole. That's honestly the healthiest option for you mentally, physically, emotionally. You hit all 3 on the nail. Nothing better than an educated, fit, fun doctor.

    :xf:[/QUOTE]

    I'm hitting the gym sooo hard right now before I go to Pod school. I'm tryna to slay as many slutes as poss while getting my swell on. I can't wait
  34. YetAnotherPre

    YetAnotherPre

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    :rolleyes:
  35. LaughingMan

    LaughingMan Avoid Arrogance Lifetime Donor

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    Hah if you were of Pakistani/Indian origin--you'd have NO TROUBLE whatsoever finding a partner. Our culture has some twisted sense that being a doctor automatically makes you an outstanding person worthy of marriage.
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2012
  36. daarango

    daarango

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    you tryna brah?
  37. speechie13

    speechie13

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    Most people meet their significant others in work settings I would assume. Other than that...there's match.com...or...bookstores (just steer clear from the self-help section)! jk
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2012
  38. fancymylotus

    fancymylotus princess

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    Aint that the truth:cool:
  39. solitarius

    solitarius MS-0

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    This is such classist garbage. What exactly are "quality" girls?
  40. MaxillofacialMN

    MaxillofacialMN Osteopathic Foot Dentist

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    .
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2014
  41. Poetic Silence

    Poetic Silence

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    Those exist?
  42. MaxillofacialMN

    MaxillofacialMN Osteopathic Foot Dentist

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    .
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2014
  43. smq123

    smq123 John Singer Sargent Administrator SDN Senior Moderator SDN Advisor

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    Considering that you've posted about how little real dating experience you have, how would you even know?

    It doesn't make you seem witty, it just makes you seem annoying.
  44. Kaustikos

    Kaustikos Klassy Gentleman

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    True. Very true.


    Also, I'm 29. Got out of a bad relationship at the same age as you and I've been doing fine. It all depends on the attitude you have after the relationship. The one advice I have to give about post-breakup interactions is to try and meet new people. Go on dates with girls. I'm not talking about relationship jumping dates, I'm talking about sitting down and having a conversation with the girls. It's fun, distracting and builds confidence. Not every date you go on ends up in marriage. You sometimes end up making friends.

    A for instance -

    You go on a date with a girl at this coffee shop/lounge and you're talkin/having a good time. You don't click, really, but you're cool with hanging out with her. You have fun and meet some of her friends - networking - and they like you, too. You make more friends that way. Ultimately, you both benefit from this interaction. You two become friends, you make more friends and get some confidence that life doesn't suck (as you seem to think).

    The important thing to remember is that you can't take all dates seriously like you're going to have a relationship immediately. Treat it as having fun/social interaction.
  45. Poetic Silence

    Poetic Silence

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    I didn't realize it was a dating contest. I'll go to the nearest bar immediately to pick up chicks so that I can catch up.

    I date for myself. I have enough experience for myself.

    Back off.
  46. smq123

    smq123 John Singer Sargent Administrator SDN Senior Moderator SDN Advisor

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    I just found your comment, which implied that most girls are alcoholic sluts that require meaningless sex in order to have purpose in life, to be in poor taste and offensive and, frankly, immature. Considering that you have posted about your relative inexperience with women, I fail to see how such a negative comment is warranted.
  47. Poetic Silence

    Poetic Silence

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    Attacking me is the perfect way to let me know I offended you. Two wrongs make a right every time.
  48. smq123

    smq123 John Singer Sargent Administrator SDN Senior Moderator SDN Advisor

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    It's not an attack when you've admitted to not having dated widely. Nor is that an insult. If you choose to interpret it as such, though, that's all on you.
  49. Poetic Silence

    Poetic Silence

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    I've admitted no such thing. I date within my comfort zone. I was about to apologize, but frankly you are being crass and unreasonable so instead I'm choosing not to continue this discussion with you.

    Have a lovely evening.
  50. Poetic Silence

    Poetic Silence

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    Edit: Double Post

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