Kids and med school -

[CardiologyPrincess]

Are a lot of you guys married with kids? How

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[CardiologyPrincess]

How do you juggle it?

Last week my boyfriend told me to settle as a RN instead of becoming a phsycian because then we could have kids before five years from now, and said we didn't need the dr salary anyways. It pissed me off because dr and nurses are two different jobs and I'm not going for being a dr for the "money".

 

[DermViser]

 

[Loyofosho]

Your post will likely get a few members here fired up, no lies. But here's what I think as someone who is about to finish Nursing school but has decided to pursue medicine. Sit your boyfriend down, educate him on the differences between the two, tell him why you're choosing doctor instead of nurse, then discuss both of your expectations on kids. Either find a compromise, or seriously evaluate your priorities (career, boyfriend, kids). Then you have a good foundation on which to make a big decision.

I'm married, and my husband and I have decided to postpone children for awhile if not forever. There are plenty of successful physicians with children, even with having them during medical school. Good luck!

 

[Ismet]

Don't let your bf tell you to settle for less if that's not what you want to do.

Having kids in med school and residency can be done. It definitely won't be easy, but it's been done. You and your SO/spouse need to be flexible, and you need to have a school that is supportive and understanding that kids have emergencies sometimes. But if you are going to school full time and your spouse is working full time, you'll absolutely need child care, either daycare or hiring a nanny. It's a huge burden to juggle kids and med school/residency, and it's not something that I'd like to do personally, but there are several people in my class with kids and they make it work.

 

[DermViser]

Don't let your bf tell you to settle for less if that's not what you want to do.

Having kids in med school and residency can be done. It definitely won't be easy, but it's been done. You and your SO/spouse need to be flexible, and you need to have a school that is supportive and understanding that kids have emergencies sometimes. But if you are going to school full time and your spouse is working full time, you'll absolutely need child care, either daycare or hiring a nanny. It's a huge burden to juggle kids and med school/residency, and it's not something that I'd like to do personally, but there are several people in my class with kids and they make it work.

I think it's funny her bf is in her avatar.

 

[DokterMom]

How do you juggle it?

Last week my boyfriend told me to settle as a RN instead of becoming a phsycian because then we could have kids before five years from now, and said we didn't need the dr salary anyways. It pissed me off because dr and nurses are two different jobs and I'm not going for being a dr for the "money".

OK - I'm one of the 'fired up' ones... You should just discount your whole life plan to make his life easier?

The whole thing just reeks of disrespect -- Disrespecting your abilities. Disrespecting your goals. Disrespecting your ambitions. Completely dismissive of your dreams. And not at all comprehending the wholly different financial worlds of doctors and nurses.

Take it from someone who has learned that lesson the hard way: A man who doesn't consider your life plans as equally important to his own? who doesn't support your ambitions and doesn't respect your abilities? That's a guy who doesn't respect you equally as a person, and isn't a good prospect for a worthy life partner.

Nothing wrong with being a nurse. But it's not the same. Not even in the ballpark --

 

[Aerus]

If he's unwilling to fully support your dreams and wants to make his life more convenient in place, he frankly doesn't deserve you. He's being completely inconsiderate and incredibly disrespectful.


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[redpanda]

Don't let your bf tell you to settle for less if that's not what you want to do.

Having kids in med school and residency can be done. It definitely won't be easy, but it's been done. You and your SO/spouse need to be flexible, and you need to have a school that is supportive and understanding that kids have emergencies sometimes. But if you are going to school full time and your spouse is working full time, you'll absolutely need child care, either daycare or hiring a nanny. It's a huge burden to juggle kids and med school/residency, and it's not something that I'd like to do personally, but there are several people in my class with kids and they make it work.

This here. That being said, it's very telling that there isn't a woman in my class with children (or, at least, who is out about it). There are a few men in the class with children and their SOs are all outside of medicine.

 

[Ismet]

This here. That being said, it's very telling that there isn't a woman in my class with children (or, at least, who is out about it). There are a few men in the class with children and their SOs are all outside of medicine.

There's a woman in my class with 3 kids, and a woman in 2017 with 2. But I agree, the rest of the people with kids are men with SO's who are not in medicine.

 

[redpanda]

There's a woman in my class with 3 kids, and a woman in 2017 with 2. But I agree, the rest of the people with kids are men with SO's who are not in medicine.

Right, I didn't mean to imply that it was impossible. Simply, I'm pointing out that the ostensible reproduction rate of the women in my class is far, far lower than the general population and an age-matched population of college-educated people and that this is presumably by choice.