Relationships during Optometry school?

[q1we3]

Is it wise to be in a serious relationship with a fellow student?
Is it an unnecessary distraction, during school, that should be avoided? Or can it be beneficial by providing a study partner and emotional support?
If you are single, do you plan on remaining single through optometry school?
Those who are in relationship how do you plan on balancing that with school?

Share your opinions and experiences!

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[love4eyes]

Good one. I would like to see the experiences of the current students.

 

[cookie2]

This is a great question. I've been married since the last two years of undergrad and will be starting Optometry school in the fall. It all depends on the couple's attitude and level of seriousness; if you are committed to supporting each other and your future together, then your relationship will only help you to excel in optometry school. We are both very focused on our careers (he's finishing law school and will be working at a nyc corporate law firm) and we really help each other succeed through lots of love and emotional support!

 

[q1we3]

This is a great question. I've been married since the last two years of undergrad and will be starting Optometry school in the fall. It all depends on the couple's attitude and level of seriousness; if you are committed to supporting each other and your future together, then your relationship will only help you to excel in optometry school. We are both very focused on our careers (he's finishing law school and will be working at a nyc corporate law firm) and we really help each other succeed through lots of love and emotional support!

I am assuming you are going to SUNY. But, what if you two were really far apart in terms of location. How would that change things?

 

[hockeystar123]

I'm single, but I think it would be nice to be in a relationship when I'm in optometry school or even now. I guess if the right person comes along, it doesn't matter what stage I'm at in my life because I'll make sure to balance my academics and relationships. I think if you really want something, then you'll find a way to make it work!

 

[hockeystar123]

Interesting topic by the way

 

[Mewcakes]

I'm in a long distance relationship, him in CA, myself in TN. We were dating 2.5 yrs when I left and we're up to 4 now. It was hard for the first year because I missed him a lot, but this past year has been much easier for some reason. I think I have a routine now, when it comes to school, and it keeps my days busy and my soul fulfilled. I talk to him every evening and text sporadically throughout the day. To be honest, it's probably best that we're not in the same place because all I'd want to do is mill around and do anything but study. Being by myself causes me to be very focused, something I had a hard time with in undergrad, in his company.

There are a few couples in my class (like both bf and gf are in the class. There's one husband/wife couple too). I think they get along just fine. It's probably great because you have someone who has to study when you have to study and can relate first hand to your academic problems etc. However, no matter who that person is, they're always bound to be a distraction. So...just make sure you can handle it academically.

 

[319671]

i rmbr that when dr shulman ( i think his name was) from UHCO came to our school and he was introducing himself, he said that everyday first year of optometry school he would study with the same girl, and they got really close throughout opt school, and that now they are married, so i feel like there are possiblities, but i'm not sure how guys view this (i'm a girl, and i feel like we're more apt to want a serious bf than guys want a serious gf)

 

[janedoe88]

The cool thing about schools like Western or NOVA is that they have interdisciplinary classes. So you have the opportunity to meet students in other fields besides optometry...and possibly lead to dating

 

[stoikiometry]

Most have settled down already - some are married or engaged and incredibly few are single. Couples have been together for some time already; one of them going to optometry school won't break them up.

 

[DawgOD]

I think it could work. Just remember though that it could change your future career plans post-graduation.

 

[nicmc]

Balancing a relationship in Optometry school can be difficult, but it's not impossible. Your significant other definitely has to be understanding though- that school comes first. In any serious long-term relationship- esp. marriage- there are going to be points in time when one person's needs/career/aspiration has to come before the other's. Optometry school is that time where your academic needs have to come first. If you are in a relationship with someone who understands this, it makes it so much easier. There is an adjustment phase. Also, it's important that when you have the time that you try to meet the needs of your partner. Sometimes that means hanging out with them instead of going to a school function or going out with your classmates. It's a balance. You can make a relationship work in Optometry school, but there is going to be sacrifice on both (but mainly your partner's) side.

 

[zaizian]

i haven't been in relationship for a long time and it would be nice to find "the one".
If I could, I wish I had a boyfriend during optometry school.
Though, if distraction is what we are worried about, then that means we can't date until after optometry school. By that time, Im in late 20s, and isn't that too late to find a serious boyfriend? I mean it seems like everyone my age has someone serious ...

 

[zaizian]

Most have settled down already - some are married or engaged and incredibly few are single. Couples have been together for some time already; one of them going to optometry school won't break them up.

Totally agree with this post. Ive spent my time in undergrad studying so I ve only had one boyfriend for like a few months...I want someone, but when are we even gonna find time to be "in love"?

 

[Shnurek]

Totally agree with this post. Ive spent my time in undergrad studying so I ve only had one boyfriend for like a few months...I want someone, but when are we even gonna find time to be "in love"?

I have a girlfriend now and even though school is taxing we still have more than enough time to chill. In fact her job gets in the way more than opto school lol. I think I spend less time studying than most other opto students. I just read things once before the test and I do fine. Except for one class, OTP which kills us all. It really depends on you and your studying habits.

 

[Pulse0021]

I always have been able to focus my time with friends and other things. I am not very good in the girl department but I know I would be able to balance both. It would be nice actually especially if you were in the same discipline because that is an automatic study partner.

 

[shannon804]

I think it could work. Just remember though that it could change your future career plans post-graduation.

Your post-graduation plans could change for a variety of reasons, not just because of a significant other. I don't think you should be afraid of a relationship because you don't know where it might take you.

 

[Superblyme]

I will be starting optometry school in the fall, and my boyfriend of 5 years will also be starting medical school in a city about 3.5 hours away. It's definitely something I'm concerned about, but hopefully we will be able to see each other a couple weekends a month... After (pretty much) living together for the past 4 years, it's going to be really hard to be separated for so long...

 

[jcpwn2004]

I don't understand how people do it. I'm single right now and barely have time for myself, let alone enough time to start dating and invest in a relationship (plus I barely have enough loan money as is haha). A good amount of people in my class in long distance relationships have broken up, but then again some people have started relationships as well.

I think the only way it will work is like others have said, finding someone who is understanding of your commitment to school. I could really only see myself dating another grad/med student since they would obviously understand the time consumption.

 

[Jibslider]

I married my optometry school sweetheart and I regret it every day. She tests for adds using a near subjective and I swear by the 14b. It's tearing our marriage apart.

 

[Satstill]

I married my optometry school sweetheart and I regret it every day. She tests for adds using a near subjective and I swear by the 14b. It's tearing our marriage apart.

Can someone explain to me the meaning of 'tests for adds using a near subjective' ?

 

[Shnurek]

I married my optometry school sweetheart and I regret it every day. She tests for adds using a near subjective and I swear by the 14b. It's tearing our marriage apart.

lolol

 

[swtster]

I married my optometry school sweetheart and I regret it every day. She tests for adds using a near subjective and I swear by the 14b. It's tearing our marriage apart.

Cute

 

[zaizian]

To be honest, I am worried to go to optometry school this year. I am 23 and by the time I graduate, I will be 27. and i am a GIRL. Obviously I wont be able to meet friends back from my hometown when I m going through school and it will be hard for me to find time to have boyfriend from the optomtery school. So I have no chance of meeting guys and what kind of guys want to marry a girl who's really OLD? 27 is almost 30, and don't most guys ,especiallly those succesful ones with jobs want to marry younger girls?

 

[Shnurek]

To be honest, I am worried to go to optometry school this year. I am 23 and by the time I graduate, I will be 27. and i am a GIRL. Obviously I wont be able to meet friends back from my hometown when I m going through school and it will be hard for me to find time to have boyfriend from the optomtery school. So I have no chance of meeting guys and what kind of guys want to marry a girl who's really OLD? 27 is almost 30, and don't most guys ,especiallly those succesful ones with jobs want to marry younger girls?

Depends on your school's ratio and chances are the stats are against ya When I get out at age 26 I'm def marrying a younger girl than me. The kids will be less prone to genetic abnormalities

 

[dinkus]

To be honest, I am worried to go to optometry school this year. I am 23 and by the time I graduate, I will be 27. and i am a GIRL. Obviously I wont be able to meet friends back from my hometown when I m going through school and it will be hard for me to find time to have boyfriend from the optomtery school. So I have no chance of meeting guys and what kind of guys want to marry a girl who's really OLD? 27 is almost 30, and don't most guys ,especiallly those succesful ones with jobs want to marry younger girls?

You don't have to look for a boyfriend in optometry school, but if you stumble upon one, are you really going to dismiss the opportunity because you're scared that you won't have enough time for a relationship? Perhaps you should make better use of your time when/if you do have a relationship, if it's that big of an issue.

 

[ATXDesi]

lol OD school is hook up central . Many of us (myself included) have a girlfriend or boyfriend from the same class. Its actually not as bad as people make it to be. First off its not long distance and you have the same schedule (so they know exactly the same stresses and workload you go through). Its nice to have someone to vent and destress with given the pressures of the program!

However there are plenty of others who are married or have significant others back home. Its not impossible to maintain a relationship during school. Just gotta keep positive.

 

[hhannah]

When I first went to optometry school, I swore that I didn't want a boyfriend who was also at the same school. Too much in common would drive me nuts and I wanted to have my own "thing." I even went on an online dating site to meet other people in the city. They were fine and dandy and what I was looking to do at the time - have some fun away from school. However, lo and behold, I eventual found a wonderful boyfriend at school, exactly what I thought I didn't want. He is a year ahead of me, so he knows exactly what the stresses are and even offers to help me in lab when I need it.
A significant other in optometry school has its pros and cons, like most things. We do "distract" each other at times, but we also can motivate each other when we need to study. We probably spend more money than we would if we were single so that we can go out and enjoy the city together, but I definitely think it's all worth it. Every day I'm happy I gave him a chance instead of sticking with what I thought I wanted.
It's a choice that has a lot to do with your personal situation - one that may depend on how school is going, if you feel you would regret not dating this person, if they can respect how much time you need to spend studying and support you, etc.

 

[zaizian]

When I first went to optometry school, I swore that I didn't want a boyfriend who was also at the same school. Too much in common would drive me nuts and I wanted to have my own "thing." I even went on an online dating site to meet other people in the city. They were fine and dandy and what I was looking to do at the time - have some fun away from school. However, lo and behold, I eventual found a wonderful boyfriend at school, exactly what I thought I didn't want. He is a year ahead of me, so he knows exactly what the stresses are and even offers to help me in lab when I need it.
A significant other in optometry school has its pros and cons, like most things. We do "distract" each other at times, but we also can motivate each other when we need to study. We probably spend more money than we would if we were single so that we can go out and enjoy the city together, but I definitely think it's all worth it. Every day I'm happy I gave him a chance instead of sticking with what I thought I wanted.
It's a choice that has a lot to do with your personal situation - one that may depend on how school is going, if you feel you would regret not dating this person, if they can respect how much time you need to spend studying and support you, etc.

This is very encouraging I hope to meet an upper year boyfriend too because I just can't stand having a boyfriend that is same age as I am. Hopefully I get plenty of chance to interact with upper year students once I start optometry school. Just as you have mentioned, I am also worried about spending more money than necessary because I know I will be poor for the next 4 years...I have sacrificed my undergrad years for studying, and I think it is time for me to start to have someone.

 

[zaizian]

Depends on your school's ratio and chances are the stats are against ya When I get out at age 26 I'm def marrying a younger girl than me. The kids will be less prone to genetic abnormalities

see, I knew guys would think like this. Even though Im worried less guys will be available for me by the time I am 27, I am not against this trend because i personally like guys older than me,...the older the better..

 

[Shnurek]

This is very encouraging I hope to meet an upper year boyfriend too because I just can't stand having a boyfriend that is same age as I am. Hopefully I get plenty of chance to interact with upper year students once I start optometry school. Just as you have mentioned, I am also worried about spending more money than necessary because I know I will be poor for the next 4 years...I have sacrificed my undergrad years for studying, and I think it is time for me to start to have someone.

What's wrong with a boyfriend your year? You know more women than men are getting professional, doctorate and bachelor degrees now. Many women are going to have to start "dating down" if you want to put it that way. We'll just relax like the male lions do and let the women be the bread winners Also undergrad was a joke for me compared to optometry school. Its about 50%-150% more time consuming.

 

[zaizian]

What's wrong with a boyfriend your year? You know more women than men are getting professional, doctorate and bachelor degrees now. Many women are going to have to start "dating down" if you want to put it that way. We'll just relax like the male lions do and let the women be the bread winners Also undergrad was a joke for me compared to optometry school. Its about 50%-150% more time consuming.

Oh, that's not what I mean. To me, a boy who's same age as me appear as a "friend", instead of as a "man". Im just attracted to older guys because they appear more manly, masculine, and makes me feel I can rely on them for safety. Basically I don't really have feelings for the guys who are the same age as me.

 

[q1we3]

Oh, that's not what I mean. To me, a boy who's same age as me appear as a "friend", instead of as a "man". Im just attracted to older guys because they appear more manly, masculine, and makes me feel I can rely on them for safety. Basically I don't really have feelings for the guys who are the same age as me.

Women like older guys. Guys like younger women. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[dinkus]

Oh, that's not what I mean. To me, a boy who's same age as me appear as a "friend", instead of as a "man". Im just attracted to older guys because they appear more manly, masculine, and makes me feel I can rely on them for safety. Basically I don't really have feelings for the guys who are the same age as me.

Have fun with your 50 yr old!

 

[shannon804]

Oh, that's not what I mean. To me, a boy who's same age as me appear as a "friend", instead of as a "man". Im just attracted to older guys because they appear more manly, masculine, and makes me feel I can rely on them for safety. Basically I don't really have feelings for the guys who are the same age as me.

Keep an open mind; someone might surprise you!

 

[shannon804]

To be honest, I am worried to go to optometry school this year. I am 23 and by the time I graduate, I will be 27. and i am a GIRL. Obviously I wont be able to meet friends back from my hometown when I m going through school and it will be hard for me to find time to have boyfriend from the optomtery school. So I have no chance of meeting guys and what kind of guys want to marry a girl who's really OLD? 27 is almost 30, and don't most guys ,especiallly those succesful ones with jobs want to marry younger girls?

Educated MEN who have also been busy with their professional or doctorate schooling and want an intelligent, mature woman, usually one with a similar level of education. Are you still in undergrad? When I was in college, I thought for sure that by 28, most people were married, with kids. After working for a few years, I know that is absolutely not true. Sure, some of my friends who didn't go to college or aren't interested in pursuing post-bachelor's studies are married or engaged, but the VAST MAJORITY of my colleagues, friends, and acquaintances are still unmarried and many are still single. They are in their mid- to late- twenties and even their thirties. Are there some 30 year old men who will only date 18 year old women? Yes. But are these the kind of men you would even be interested in? I think you're worrying about this way too much right now.

 

[Shnurek]

Educated MEN who have also been busy with their professional or doctorate schooling and want an intelligent, mature woman, usually one with a similar level of education.

Lol, I know I don't care. The degree she has doesn't make a difference as long as she is rational and pretty. In fact if it is a degree like MD where she is busy 24/7 then there would be no time for a relationship.

 

[shannon804]

Lol, I know I don't care. The degree she has doesn't make a difference as long as she is rational and pretty. In fact if it is a degree like MD where she is busy 24/7 then there would be no time for a relationship.

Hmmm so you would be ok with dating someone with just a GED or high school diploma? Just curious, because I don't know how I would feel about being in a relationship with a guy who was not at least a college grad.

 

[zaizian]

Hmmm so you would be ok with dating someone with just a GED or high school diploma? Just curious, because I don't know how I would feel about being in a relationship with a guy who was not at least a college grad.

I don't think Shnurek will specificially go look for lowly educated girls. Plus as long as he is an optometry student, Im sure most of his friends or acquintances are just as highly educated as he is. Usually people tend to get along better and thus hang out with similar people. I think he just wants someone pretty and younger than him. I mean I want a guy who's older and taller. It is just a trend and man's instinct.

Also about the previous post, it is totally understandable how guys are reluctant to pursue a girl with MD degree cuz when is she going to have time for her husband, let alone for the kids, friends, etc?
Even if I had 4.0 GPA, I wouldn't pursue MD cuz I don't want to leave my kids in daycare, which is bad for the kids wellbeings. Also I don't want to live my life tensed about work 24/7...

I also wouldn't want to pursue a guy with MD cuz when is he going to have time for the family? Im sure he will have time here and there but it will still be hard to give signifiacant amount of time for his kids, let alone for his hobbies.

 

[zaizian]

Have fun with your 50 yr old!

oh lord that would be a pedophile case.

 

[Shnurek]

I don't think Shnurek will specificially go look for lowly educated girls. Plus as long as he is an optometry student, Im sure most of his friends or acquintances are just as highly educated as he is. Usually people tend to get along better and thus hang out with similar people. I think he just wants someone pretty and younger than him. I mean I want a guy who's older and taller. It is just a trend and man's instinct.

Also about the previous post, it is totally understandable how guys are reluctant to pursue a girl with MD degree cuz when is she going to have time for her husband, let alone for the kids, friends, etc?
Even if I had 4.0 GPA, I wouldn't pursue MD cuz I don't want to leave my kids in daycare, which is bad for the kids wellbeings. Also I don't want to live my life tensed about work 24/7...

I also wouldn't want to pursue a guy with MD cuz when is he going to have time for the family? Im sure he will have time here and there but it will still be hard to give signifiacant amount of time for his kids, let alone for his hobbies.

Good post, I def agree with you on these things.

 

[Blondiechick919]

Hmmm so you would be ok with dating someone with just a GED or high school diploma? Just curious, because I don't know how I would feel about being in a relationship with a guy who was not at least a college grad.

Don't judge too hard here. My boyfriend of 2 years is 3 years older than me and didn't go to college. He is however, one of the smartest men I have ever met. He got invited to Mensa. He's been working since he moved out at 16 and never got the time and money to go to college. He's making more money than most 27 year old college grads. Just because someone doesn't have a set of letters behind their name doesn't mean they aren't worthy. There's more involved in relationships than your degree.

 

[Shnurek]

Don't judge too hard here. My boyfriend of 2 years is 3 years older than me and didn't go to college. He is however, one of the smartest men I have ever met. He got invited to Mensa. He's been working since he moved out at 16 and never got the time and money to go to college. He's making more money than most 27 year old college grads. Just because someone doesn't have a set of letters behind their name doesn't mean they aren't worthy. There's more involved in relationships than your degree.

Shannon just sounds like an elitist snob after this lol. In fact with tuition skyrocketing nowadays it may actually be smarter NOT to go into college/grad school and start your own business or make money in 50k+ jobs that don't require a college degree.

 

[shannon804]

Shannon just sounds like an elitist snob after this lol. In fact with tuition skyrocketing nowadays it may actually be smarter NOT to go into college/grad school and start your own business or make money in 50k+ jobs that don't require a college degree.

Notice how I wrote that I don't think I'd be ok with dating someone. I didn't write, "Everyone who doesn't go to college is stupid and a loser and not worthy of my time."

 

[happymango]

I have a girlfriend now and even though school is taxing we still have more than enough time to chill. In fact her job gets in the way more than opto school lol. I think I spend less time studying than most other opto students. I just read things once before the test and I do fine. Except for one class, OTP which kills us all. It really depends on you and your studying habits.

So I'm assuming your gf lives in your area ... do you have a plan or anything in mind to deal with externships? For example, would you perhaps only take 1 of 4 externships far away or perhaps none at all far away (I don't know optometry school rules on that ...)? I'm in a serious relationship and plan on starting opt. school Fall 2013. Ideally, I'd get married before I graduate because otherwise I'd be 27 and that's ... well old (MY opinion based on my wants in life).

 

[Shnurek]

So I'm assuming your gf lives in your area ... do you have a plan or anything in mind to deal with externships? For example, would you perhaps only take 1 of 4 externships far away or perhaps none at all far away (I don't know optometry school rules on that ...)? I'm in a serious relationship and plan on starting opt. school Fall 2013. Ideally, I'd get married before I graduate because otherwise I'd be 27 and that's ... well old (MY opinion based on my wants in life).

You can take all your rotations in close proximity to the optometry school. You can also take all your rotations as far away as possible. Its all up to what you wish to do. After all, you are still paying tuition to your school so you are paying them. Same thing with residencies.