Advice to my drunken, and rather challenged before drinking, neighbor and his friends:
Do not get so drunk that you can not walk properly, and deliberately go into a completely unlighted back yard full of professional painter's gear
If so dumb, do not get up, and head further back, towards the blackberry briar patch.
If you make it this far, and are female, do not, then, undo your pants, and attempt to urinate with your back to the brambles a mere few inches from you.
If you do all of this, and end up with your pants and dainties around your ankles, pinned by multiple thorns, your torso well captured by more thorns, by all means, solve this problem by thrashing about in the dark. Then pull the drunken male that comes to your "rescue" when you scream into the brambles with you.
By all means, if you are said male, struggle a bit, yourself, then carefully remove your cell phone from your pocket, and call 911, placing it on speakerphone so you can understand and be understood.
And do not mention that the girl (a bar girl met that night) has a packet of meth in the pocket of the trapped pants, which falls out when the pocket liner tears, while a cop is assisting in pulling you out.
Last night was kind of interesting.