What Do You Do When It Seems Like All Hope Is Lost?

[RedRaider2013]

I haven't posted since last year. I was in the process of registering for premed classes at my local community college. Unfortunately, due to scheduling, I was unable to sign up. Summer registration starts next week and I'm pretty amped. Well, at least I was... I ordered official copies of all my transcripts and they nearly made me ill. After reviewing them, especially my CC transcript (which included college classes take senior year of high school) I felt like no ADCOM in their right mind would admit me. CC and undergrad were messy. Multiple retakes with bad grades, 12 W's overall. I felt devastated. I got my act together in grad school (MBA - nothing special, 3.2gpa). I have a decent finance job now but I hate it. I'm not motivated at all. What do you do when the only thing that excites you is medicine? I come from a family of medical practitioners. I try to tell myself that med school is unrealistic and a bad risk - that I'm better off advancing in the business world (which I hate). I try to tell myself that but I have an insatiable desire to be a physician. I tell my friends and family that premed is a dead dream but I'm not being honest with myself. I just turned 27 a few days ago and I feel like I'm getting old. I can't waste anymore time.

I was lazy, unmotivated, and had a bad attitude. I was more interested in playing videogames and partying than studying. Unfortunately this was a trend that continued through most of undergrad. I didn’t have any career prospects. I was premed and then ended up prelaw. I eventually graduated with a liberal arts degree with a mediocre 2.8 gpa (2.7 AMCAS). It wasn’t until senior year that I started to get my act together. After graduation and six months of unemployment, I decided to take some graduate business courses. I did well and managed to get accepted in my school's MBA program.

All my hopes, aspirations, raw ambition, competitiveness, et cetera – it all started coalescing in graduate school. Business school was a cathartic experience. Honestly, I am disgusted by the person I used to be. I’m a new man now, a better man. B-school was a very successful endeavor for me. I was awarded one of my university’s highest accolades – the congressional internship and scholarship. I lived in DC and worked full-time in the US House. It was one of the greatest learning experiences of my life.

I want to make the transition to medicine, but I don’t know where to start. I wasn’t one of those driven academics in undergrad – the ones who graduated with honors, clinical experience, and knew what they wanted in life and how to achieve it. How do I compete with that? I feel like my academic past is a huge albatross around my neck. It seems like regardless of my personal victories and growth as a professional adult, I’m still haunted by my past. How do I convince a medical school to give me a chance when I can't deal with my past? How do I get past my crummy background? Maturity and hindsight sure are a b***h. I welcome any and all advice. It’s greatly appreciated.

P.S. Being a Texan myself, I'm sure someone is going to mention "Fresh Start." My oldest coursework will be 10 years ago this fall. From my understanding you have to apply and be admitted to another institution to apply for fresh start. Ideally I would like to avoid this.

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[DrMidlife]

P.S. Being a Texan myself, I'm sure someone is going to mention "Fresh Start." My oldest coursework will be 10 years ago this fall. From my understanding you have to apply and be admitted to another institution to apply for fresh start. Ideally I would like to avoid this.

Why do you want to avoid it? It's the only true forgiveness program in the country!

If you're concerned about "wasting" another 4 years recreating an undergrad record with as good a shot at a 4.0 as anybody, that's better than spending 2-3 years trying to repair your prior undergrad record, and then finding you're still not competitive.

But before you dive back in, take one moderately rigorous math or science class and get an A. If you can't get one A in one premed-ish class then you can't expect to get a whole bunch of A's in a whole bunch of new coursework. MBA coursework doesn't compare to premed coursework.

Regardless, what's ahead of you, if you want to go to med school, is a multi-year mostly-science long strong academic performance. You can't get away from that. If you don't start med school in your 20's, no actual kittens die. Med school will be there in your 30's. (Games will be too.)

Best of luck to you.

 

[BorntobeDO?]

I haven't posted since last year. I was in the process of registering for premed classes at my local community college. Unfortunately, due to scheduling, I was unable to sign up. Summer registration starts next week and I'm pretty amped. Well, at least I was... I ordered official copies of all my transcripts and they nearly made me ill. After reviewing them, especially my CC transcript (which included college classes take senior year of high school) I felt like no ADCOM in their right mind would admit me. CC and undergrad were messy. Multiple retakes with bad grades, 12 W's overall. I felt devastated. I got my act together in grad school (MBA - nothing special, 3.2gpa). I have a decent finance job now but I hate it. I'm not motivated at all. What do you do when the only thing that excites you is medicine? I come from a family of medical practitioners. I try to tell myself that med school is unrealistic and a bad risk - that I'm better off advancing in the business world (which I hate). I try to tell myself that but I have an insatiable desire to be a physician. I tell my friends and family that premed is a dead dream but I'm not being honest with myself. I just turned 27 a few days ago and I feel like I'm getting old. I can't waste anymore time.

I was lazy, unmotivated, and had a bad attitude. I was more interested in playing videogames and partying than studying. Unfortunately this was a trend that continued through most of undergrad. I didn’t have any career prospects. I was premed and then ended up prelaw. I eventually graduated with a liberal arts degree with a mediocre 2.8 gpa (2.7 AMCAS). It wasn’t until senior year that I started to get my act together. After graduation and six months of unemployment, I decided to take some graduate business courses. I did well and managed to get accepted in my school's MBA program.

All my hopes, aspirations, raw ambition, competitiveness, et cetera – it all started coalescing in graduate school. Business school was a cathartic experience. Honestly, I am disgusted by the person I used to be. I’m a new man now, a better man. B-school was a very successful endeavor for me. I was awarded one of my university’s highest accolades – the congressional internship and scholarship. I lived in DC and worked full-time in the US House. It was one of the greatest learning experiences of my life.

I want to make the transition to medicine, but I don’t know where to start. I wasn’t one of those driven academics in undergrad – the ones who graduated with honors, clinical experience, and knew what they wanted in life and how to achieve it. How do I compete with that? I feel like my academic past is a huge albatross around my neck. It seems like regardless of my personal victories and growth as a professional adult, I’m still haunted by my past. How do I convince a medical school to give me a chance when I can't deal with my past? How do I get past my crummy background? Maturity and hindsight sure are a b***h. I welcome any and all advice. It’s greatly appreciated.

P.S. Being a Texan myself, I'm sure someone is going to mention "Fresh Start." My oldest coursework will be 10 years ago this fall. From my understanding you have to apply and be admitted to another institution to apply for fresh start. Ideally I would like to avoid this.

Others have done it. Others will do it. Are you willing to do it? You know it will take at least two years of GPA repair, probably more. Schools are okay with people who grow as a person from when they were young. Not everyone matures at the same pace (and I am not even going to say grades = maturity cause that's not even close to true). It took years to get you in this mess, and it will take years to get out.

You need to just commit to cleaning up the transcript, and take it one step at a time. Listen to Dr. Midlife. She has excellent advice. But more importantly, commit to this being your dream. If it really is, than a couple years doing the necessary scutwork doesn't make any difference when compared to a lifetime of unhappiness. You definitely do need to take one class and get an 'A' to prove to yourself you can do it, I think it will really start rolling after that. Your situation is more common than you think. It took me two years to actually make a competitive app. But it was worth it.

Once you feel like your achieving, even your current job that you hate will get better, I know mine did. And I realized that it wasn't the job that was bad, it was just me projecting my bad feelings about myself on it. That being said, I couldn't reach this state if I hadn't decided to go all-in on pursuing my dream. Even tho I felt old, even tho I felt stupid. But guess what, there are people in their 40's getting it done, and us upper 20's folks really aren't that old. Sure I will turn 30 in my first year of med school, but that makes no difference, I will still be there, and I will have at least 30 years of practice afterwards. You can too, just adjust the mentality.

 

[NonTradJp]

I want to let you know I feel for you. I have been in your shoes in many ways and know how weighty the past can be. And to be honest, I never heard of Fresh Start. But now that I have, I would jump onto that if I were you. It takes a great deal of grade repair. Faster if you do DO, but still slow. At least 36 semester units so maybe 1.5 years unless you really pack them in. For MD, maybe more. 90 units of undergrad sounds with a clean slate sounds awesome in comparison to the riskier and nearly as long a process. Plus you can learn all the great stuff you could not fit in your first time around. The only hurdle is to apply to undergrad. But that shouldn't be hard since they know you obviously made it through before and you are applying as a fresh start.

If I were in your shoes where I am just starting down this path, I can get a fresh start in a few months, only need 90 units, and have a real chance for wonderful grades...I would jump at the chance. That is if I know I can hack it. Which I am assuming you feel you can do a bit since you learned your lesson.

 

[Rocketdog]

I'm one those 40(+) year olds getting it done. I took 11 years of between my current learning and my past University. Believe me, you have NOTHING to worry about. Find YOUR motivation and "HIT IT".....petal to the floor, death hold on the wheel, (or handlebars) hair on fire. Slide side-ways in to the medical school lobby first day of school and rock on.

See you at a CE conference sometime.

 

[westsidestoryz]

I haven't posted since last year. I was in the process of registering for premed classes at my local community college. Unfortunately, due to scheduling, I was unable to sign up. Summer registration starts next week and I'm pretty amped. Well, at least I was... I ordered official copies of all my transcripts and they nearly made me ill. After reviewing them, especially my CC transcript (which included college classes take senior year of high school) I felt like no ADCOM in their right mind would admit me. CC and undergrad were messy. Multiple retakes with bad grades, 12 W's overall. I felt devastated. I got my act together in grad school (MBA - nothing special, 3.2gpa). I have a decent finance job now but I hate it. I'm not motivated at all. What do you do when the only thing that excites you is medicine? I come from a family of medical practitioners. I try to tell myself that med school is unrealistic and a bad risk - that I'm better off advancing in the business world (which I hate). I try to tell myself that but I have an insatiable desire to be a physician. I tell my friends and family that premed is a dead dream but I'm not being honest with myself. I just turned 27 a few days ago and I feel like I'm getting old. I can't waste anymore time.

I was lazy, unmotivated, and had a bad attitude. I was more interested in playing videogames and partying than studying. Unfortunately this was a trend that continued through most of undergrad. I didn’t have any career prospects. I was premed and then ended up prelaw. I eventually graduated with a liberal arts degree with a mediocre 2.8 gpa (2.7 AMCAS). It wasn’t until senior year that I started to get my act together. After graduation and six months of unemployment, I decided to take some graduate business courses. I did well and managed to get accepted in my school's MBA program.

All my hopes, aspirations, raw ambition, competitiveness, et cetera – it all started coalescing in graduate school. Business school was a cathartic experience. Honestly, I am disgusted by the person I used to be. I’m a new man now, a better man. B-school was a very successful endeavor for me. I was awarded one of my university’s highest accolades – the congressional internship and scholarship. I lived in DC and worked full-time in the US House. It was one of the greatest learning experiences of my life.

I want to make the transition to medicine, but I don’t know where to start. I wasn’t one of those driven academics in undergrad – the ones who graduated with honors, clinical experience, and knew what they wanted in life and how to achieve it. How do I compete with that? I feel like my academic past is a huge albatross around my neck. It seems like regardless of my personal victories and growth as a professional adult, I’m still haunted by my past. How do I convince a medical school to give me a chance when I can't deal with my past? How do I get past my crummy background? Maturity and hindsight sure are a b***h. I welcome any and all advice. It’s greatly appreciated.

P.S. Being a Texan myself, I'm sure someone is going to mention "Fresh Start." My oldest coursework will be 10 years ago this fall. From my understanding you have to apply and be admitted to another institution to apply for fresh start. Ideally I would like to avoid this.

This is what Im going through. I am a business major going into Pre-med. I am 24 years old and just started to take my pre-med prereq classes. I dont have the greatest GPA (3.3) nor do I have medical experiences like everyone else.

My advice to you is do some research on this forum. A lot of success stories from people like yourself. One thing they all had in common was WORK ETHICS (which Im sure you have) and having the mindset that you will succeed if you really strive for it and you have the drive.

Just stick to it and talk with some of the people here and go to the hospital to get some volunteer hours in.
From your post, Im sure you can achieve your goal through hard work and sleepless nights. Dont let the naysayers bring you down! Use that as a motivation and know that your efforts will be rewarded in the end!

 

[Apollo1]

All I saw with this thread initially was the avatar & I was all "Why is @Ismet posting this?"

 

[RedRaider2013]

I just got a SDN notification that I've been a member for 1 year. Unfortunately I have nothing new to report since my last post. My premed plan seems to be in limbo. I was recently promoted into management and got a nice pay raise. I thought the money would make me happy but it didn't. I suppose there's a moral to be found in this story. I'm 27 now (still single luckily) but it's getting harder and harder to change things. I'm registered for classes this spring, but I'm so terrified of failing or not getting accepted anywhere. Unfortunately, medicine is all I think about. Should I stay unhappy for a profitable career, start a family, white picket fences, blah blah blah, or finally pull the trigger on my post-bacc plan? Any nontrads have any words of wisdom? Thanks.

 

[VegasPreMed]

I just got a SDN notification that I've been a member for 1 year. Unfortunately I have nothing new to report since my last post. My premed plan seems to be in limbo. I was recently promoted into management and got a nice pay raise. I thought the money would make me happy but it didn't. I suppose there's a moral to be found in this story. I'm 27 now (still single luckily) but it's getting harder and harder to change things. I'm registered for classes this spring, but I'm so terrified of failing or not getting accepted anywhere. Unfortunately, medicine is all I think about. Should I stay unhappy for a profitable career, start a family, white picket fences, blah blah blah, or finally pull the trigger on my post-bacc plan? Any nontrads have any words of wisdom? Thanks.

I'm 27 as well (but not single and two kids!). I had the same argument with myself previously. Promoted, pay raise, nice health plan, etc. Even with the wife and kids, I "pulled the trigger" and went back for a second bachelors. I was accepted to my top choice DO school this cycle and waiting to hear back from a few MD schools.

If you want it, go get it. You can still have that family and white picket fence. Might just have to rebuild it every now and again when moving for school and residency.

Edit: Oh! I should add I had a mid 2ish GPA as well prior to the second bachelors. Drug it up to a 3.17 and I have had 6 interviews so far. Not easy, but definitely not impossible!

 

[westsidestoryz]

I'm 27 as well (but not single and two kids!). I had the same argument with myself previously. Promoted, pay raise, nice health plan, etc. Even with the wife and kids, I "pulled the trigger" and went back for a second bachelors. I was accepted to my top choice DO school this cycle and waiting to hear back from a few MD schools.

If you want it, go get it. You can still have that family and white picket fence. Might just have to rebuild it every now and again when moving for school and residency.

Edit: Oh! I should add I had a mid 2ish GPA as well prior to the second bachelors. Drug it up to a 3.17 and I have had 6 interviews so far. Not easy, but definitely not impossible!

Wow, Great job on keeping your head up and pursuing your dreams! Its really hard to make such a big life-changing decision but look what happens if you put in the work and time. Love the outcome and hope its all uphill from here!
And @RedRaider2013, dont give up just yet. I was a business major and I still have a long way to go but I think this decision will be one of the best one I will ever make in life. I say if medicine is a passion for you, why not go all out for it? You still have time and the resources so might as well take advantage of it.
Hard work, patience and dedication will definitely pay off in the end.

 

[pageantry]

I just got a SDN notification that I've been a member for 1 year. Unfortunately I have nothing new to report since my last post. My premed plan seems to be in limbo. I was recently promoted into management and got a nice pay raise. I thought the money would make me happy but it didn't. I suppose there's a moral to be found in this story. I'm 27 now (still single luckily) but it's getting harder and harder to change things. I'm registered for classes this spring, but I'm so terrified of failing or not getting accepted anywhere. Unfortunately, medicine is all I think about. Should I stay unhappy for a profitable career, start a family, white picket fences, blah blah blah, or finally pull the trigger on my post-bacc plan? Any nontrads have any words of wisdom? Thanks.

I have this dream that one day I'll look around and realize it's been a year since I've been on SDN. BUT! since that doesn't seem to be happening, why not have a catchphrase piece of advice to sum up everything I am, have done, and believe in? Why not, indeed.

Okay here goes, and please believe I offer this catchphrase with full humility, from my heart, having been there:

Therapy.

P.S. And volunteering! Okay this catchphrase has no sex appeal at all.

 

[esob]

Bah, I'm throwing out a 3.3 cGPA to basically start over with fresh start. To be fair, I need all my prereqs so that process alone puts me 3/4 of the way toward a new degree so its really only an extra year. However, I'm giving up a 6 figure income to do it at age 40. I've currently got 181 hours, so more schooling just to get into med schools seemed daunting to say the least, but I realized the fresh start is a golden opportunity most don't have. I would say that if you really want to be a doc (especially if you really want to be an MD) you should take advantage of the academic fresh start provision.

 

[thatwouldbeanarchy]

If you don't start med school in your 20's, no actual kittens die.

^^^This may be the best piece of advice I've seen on this entire site.

Seriously, though, OP, you're 27. Stop acting like your life is over. You'll find people on this site who successfully overcame the same kinds of obstacles that you're facing and did it 10-20 years further down the road. You have plenty of time. What you're lacking right now is motivation. I'll be turning 29 a few weeks after I start med school. No regrets!

Should I stay unhappy for a profitable career, start a family, white picket fences, blah blah blah, or finally pull the trigger on my post-bacc plan?

Hm. Let's see. Should you stay unhappy in a career you hate because it's easier than putting in the hard work to have the career you want? Is that even a question?

 

[QofQuimica]

OP, let's be honest here. You don't exactly give off a vibe as a guy who has "an insatiable desire to be a physician." You come off as a guy who is depressed, unfocused, lazy, desperate to jump ship, or some combination of the above.

Forget about your transcripts for a minute, because you're putting the cart before the horse. Let's take a step back here and think about motivation. What experiences have you had (paid employment, shadowing, volunteering, etc.) that demonstrate an interest in and understanding of the practice of medicine? Having family members in the medical field does not count. YOU need to have medical experiences. YOU need to convince YOURSELF that this is a career you love. If you do not first convince yourself, you will not be able to convince me, or any adcom, that medicine is the right career for you. So you should start by finding a health care gig, paid or volunteering, where you can get your hands dirty a little. Not only will this make you a better candidate, but it will provide you with some much-needed motivation to do the hard work that lies ahead.

Which brings me to the second point. Medicine ain't rocket science. But it's a heck of a lot of work. So unless you're the eidetic memory type (and I'm guessing you're not based on your UG grades), you're going to have to bust your a** for the next decade, just to reach the point where you can get a license. That's ok. Despite what it seems like on SDN sometimes, most docs are not geniuses with 4.0 GPAs in their double majors in Mandarin Chinese and quantum mechanics. You can absolutely be of average intellect and be a physician. But being unfocused or lazy is not compatible with being a physician, now or ever. Period.

Finally, you need to be very careful that you are not looking at medicine as some kind of panacea or lifeline you're grasping at to help you escape all the things about finance that you hate. If you don't want to stay in finance, that's fine. By all means, decide what you do love to do, and change careers. But make sure you're making the change TO something you actually love, and not just trying to get AWAY from finance. Particularly if you're going to take a road that's as elbow grease intensive as medical school.

Hope this helps with your search, and best of luck to you.

 

[tankaer]

I just got a SDN notification that I've been a member for 1 year. Unfortunately I have nothing new to report since my last post. My premed plan seems to be in limbo. I was recently promoted into management and got a nice pay raise. I thought the money would make me happy but it didn't. I suppose there's a moral to be found in this story. I'm 27 now (still single luckily) but it's getting harder and harder to change things. I'm registered for classes this spring, but I'm so terrified of failing or not getting accepted anywhere. Unfortunately, medicine is all I think about. Should I stay unhappy for a profitable career, start a family, white picket fences, blah blah blah, or finally pull the trigger on my post-bacc plan? Any nontrads have any words of wisdom? Thanks.

Take it from someone who waited until 34 to "pull the trigger" on his post bacc program - you'll never make enough money to fill that hole. Not following your passion will keep eating at you and it will get worse as you get older. I start med school next year at age 37 and while I don't regret my life in any way, I do wish I had gotten my act together a bit sooner.

I was in a worse situation in regards to grades but had the advantage of zero undergrad sciences, so I essentially had a blank slate for my sGPA. I still think I would have jumped on the fresh start, it sounds like a gift from God.

This thread has great advice. I think the post that suggested taking one science class to see if you can ace it was spot on. I'm doing an MBA before I start next year and the work isn't even in the same league as a basic chemistry course, I mean miles apart.

One last comment, I already have a family - a very very supportive family, but from talking to others and what I read on the forums there's no reason you can't tackle that while you're in school too.

Good luck, stay optimistic, and stay focused.

 

[NonTradJp]

Just thought I'll check back to see if you, OP, made changes or a decision within the last year. Especially when looking at QofQuimica's advice, I hope you found your passion among what may trouble you.

 

[esob]

My GPA is all from military hours that were pass/fail and thus awarded as B's from GWU, and from a single semester at YSU that I withdrew from because I was entering active duty but which was not recorded as a withdrawal and thus resulted in all F's. Outside of those hours my GPA for classes I've actually taken at a university is a 3.87 and my fresh start GPA, which includes 118 hrs of coursework is a 3.96. Any my liberal arts coursework at TCU was significantly harder than my science coursework at my state school. I've got 31 hrs so far at my state school where the lowest final grade I've received in a course is 100% (most are well over 100%).

The GWU hours still rub me the wrong way since I've never set foot on the campus, however, I was awarded 60 hrs for 6 months of courses, which, when taken in perspective is the equivalent of attending college at quadruple time. I'd like to see someone pull off straight B's while taking 60 hrs in a single semester

 

[RedRaider2013]

Just thought I'll check back to see if you, OP, made changes or a decision within the last year. Especially when looking at QofQuimica's advice, I hope you found your passion among what may trouble you.

Thanks for checking in. I don't login much these days. Unfortunately I don't have any good news. I register for classes every semester, but always back out before the tuition deadline. I think about medicine often at work, but can't seem to pull the trigger. I wish I had more courage, but I just dwell on lost opportunity cost and the success of my friends. I'm 28 and single — so it's difficult watching so many of my friends getting married and buying homes. I end up wondering if I'll ever get to that point if I invest another 10 years of my life and $20oK-$300K on school. Honesty speaking, the thought of failing financially terrifies me. I'm a financial risk manager for a living - maybe I'm just being too conservative? How's your postbac going?

 

[hall1ms1b]

why not just do one semester part time and see how it goes from there? You may actually be happy and enjoy you are learning something! Stop comparing yourself to your friends and other people. Focus on what YOU want and what YOU really want to do. Is your ultimate goal to be like your friends, crossing off those things off your list: marriage, a house? Don't sit around and wait. Your hesitation definitely comes from your finance background. But no huge financial loss is taken when you just do part time for a couple semesters. Good luck.

 

[AnotherLawyer]

Thanks for checking in. I don't login much these days. Unfortunately I don't have any good news. I register for classes every semester, but always back out before the tuition deadline. I think about medicine often at work, but can't seem to pull the trigger. I wish I had more courage, but I just dwell on lost opportunity cost and the success of my friends. I'm 28 and single — so it's difficult watching so many of my friends getting married and buying homes. I end up wondering if I'll ever get to that point if I invest another 10 years of my life and $20oK-$300K on school. Honesty speaking, the thought of failing financially terrifies me. I'm a financial risk manager for a living - maybe I'm just being too conservative? How's your postbac going?

You'll have to run the numbers, but I would suspect your can fix your GPA with grade replacement and complete the prereqs for a lot less than $200-300k. Probably much less than 1/10th of that. You'll be looking at DO schools in that case, but so what? It's your fastest and safest route to becoming a doctor.

 

[QofQuimica]

OP, I honestly don't think it's a courage issue or a conservatism issue. I think it's a lack of desire issue. You have a fantasy of being a doc, same as I have a fantasy of being an astronaut, or how some people fantasize about being a rap star or a professional baseball player. But when it comes to getting down to brass tacks, you're not really committed to doing the hard work of traveling this path. And that's ok. Recognizing your lack of real desire to do what is necessary in order to be a physician is honest and a sign of maturity, not a shortcoming. What you need to do is to figure out what really does motivate and excite you in terms of a life goal, and work toward transitioning into that. Or else maybe focus on achieving financial independence and early retirement. Because you don't sound particularly enthused about the financial managing gig.

 

[gallons]

If you have to start from the very beginning then you have to start from the very beginning. If it's worth it, u will stick to it. If not, you will find out soon enough.

 

[trev5150]

I'm a financial risk manager for a living - maybe I'm just being too conservative?

"Scared money don't make money"

If financial security is your concern, then stay where you are. Make your pile, enjoy your weekends, have a nice house and a nice car and nice husband or wife and kids and a dog and a cat. If you really want to be a doc, you have to be the greater fool. You have to be all in.

I am. I tossed away 100+K a year because spreadsheets and schedules don't interest me enough to keep me away from what I truly want to spend the rest of my working life doing. I'd rather cash in most if not all of my meager 401K, and accrue loans and take the shot. I want to be a physician. I tried very hard for many years to suffocate that dream and failed miserably. I have foregone any chance of true financial freedom in order to do this thing. I can't take any of it with me anyway.

It's all part of my get-rich-quick-never scheme.