Would you ever deny a top 10-15 for love?

[VVH1003]

If the person was worth staying for, I'd stay.

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[Espadaleader]

A close friend of mine once said "Love makes me deaf, dumb, blind and stupid".

But I turned down an NIH post-doc to work in a rinky-dink little lab at a tiny school to woo my then girlfriend, who is now the lovely Mrs Dr goro, so, it was worth it.

One can get a decent medical training at any medical school...Harvard or Rosy Franklin.

Not true at all. If you are in the northeast, then yes. But outside of that and California, top tiers are few and far between (geographically). I personally will be moving from the south to go to a top tier. Luckily my SO is coming with me

The closest acceptance (Nevermind top tier) I had was 4 hours away from home. Most of the country is really geographically dispersed. For people from these parts, getting into that one med school close to home is as much a dream as Harvard

Most of the population lives in the northeast or Cali. Its different in the northeast. Its over 10 schools in NYC alone... In the distance from LA to San Fran is over 30+ MD schools. All the Ivies, mid tiers, public, private, expensive etc. If you add DO its even more... I feel bad for the ppl in the fly over states and the places with like one school.

 

[mimelim]

Most of the population lives in the northeast or Cali. Its different in the northeast. Its over 10 schools in NYC alone... In the distance from LA to San Fran is over 30+ MD schools. All the Ivies, mid tiers, public, private, expensive etc. If you add DO its even more... I feel bad for the ppl in the fly over states and the places with like one school.

US population is 315 million. CA + NY, PA, NJ, MA = 85 million.

 

[DrBirdFriend]

I think it really depends on the couple and the relative strengths of the options.

Back in the 90s my parents maintained an 8ish year LDR, because my mother really wanted to do her PhD abroad as my home country/region was a dead end for her, and my father was pursuing his dream career in a different part of the country. They couldn't afford to call each other often so they hand wrote massive numbers of letters. For holidays, they would send each other recipes to feel a bit more like they were cooking for each other. I am sure it was painful, but neither of them regrets it at all and my mother thinks that had they stayed together, she would have become resentful at squandering her potential. They are in their fifties now and still flirt every day and do everything together as though they've just met a month ago.

Of course, my parents' decisions were between having a real shot at a life they are passionate about and being trapped in the same dead-end and unstable life that my relatives now have, and I think that decision is fairly common among immigrants. I don't think choosing between a "top" vs a "second tier" medical school is quite the same, but some people might perceive it that way and if that's how they feel, I think it's valid to evaluate based on that personally attributed worth.

Your parents are an inspiration and also that story is adorable.


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[Hemorrage]

I would LOVE to go to a top 10-15 school.

What if your SO gave you a kidney?

 

[studentp0x]

Seeing as how many people on this forum would eat a poop hotdog for a top 15 acceptance I'm gonna go ahead and say no....

You realize those same people are likely virgins right?

 

[trino]

Most of the population lives in the northeast or Cali. Its different in the northeast. Its over 10 schools in NYC alone... In the distance from LA to San Fran is over 30+ MD schools. All the Ivies, mid tiers, public, private, expensive etc. If you add DO its even more... I feel bad for the ppl in the fly over states and the places with like one school.

No doubt it makes applying harder. Almost everyone I know is moving 3+ hours away to attend my state's lone state school. But medical training requires a large medical institution which are focused around population centers.

But if you're from the South and want to attend a "top" school closer to home, your choices are Baylor (if Texas even counts as close to home), Emory, Vanderbilt, Duke, and UNC. Many top applicants don't make it into any of those schools. Then we come up north, freeze our butts off, and demonstrate that we have no idea how to drive in the rain, let alone snow

But I feel bad for people that never move from the North. You will never experience our weather, manners, or girls. That's why I'm bringing one with me

 

[chizledfrmstone]

What if your SO gave you a kidney?

Great, one more thank you letter I have to write.

 

[Hemorrage]

Great, one more thank you letter I have to write.

$5000 starbucks gift card?

 

[worfndata]

yes id deny a 10"-15" top if i was in love. love > size.

 

[487806]

What if your SO gave you a kidney?

Didn't stop George Lopez.

 

[Telekinesis]

For all those saying no, you haven't been in true love yet. I couldn't imagine going on this journey without the love of my life. Relationships are hard, whose to say you won't do the same thing for residency, or a fellowship or a job. Money or a degree can't love you back you know.

 

[chizledfrmstone]

$5000 starbucks gift card?

What is this back and forth we're doing? Are we dating?

Let me tell you a little about myself. During winter I take my underwear and put it into the dryer for 5 minutes before wearing it. Keeps me nice and toasty. Don't knock it until you try it.

For all those saying no, you haven't been in true love yet. I couldn't imagine going on this journey without the love of my life. Relationships are hard, whose to say you won't do the same thing for residency, or a fellowship or a job. Money or a degree can't love you back you know.

I would be a MS3 right now if I had not been in love during college.

My brother just broke up with his GF of 5 years. It will take him a while to realize he should be studying for the DAT rather than partying around trying to forget about her.

Love ends up costing you more than you think.

I would take the top 10-15 and invest in myself.

 

[Telekinesis]

What is this back and forth we're doing? Are we dating?

Let me tell you a little about myself. During winter I take my underwear and put it into the dryer for 5 minutes before wearing it. Keeps me nice and toasty. Don't knock it until you try it.



I would be a MS3 right now if I had not been in love during college.

My brother just broke up with his GF of 5 years. It will take him a while to realize he should be studying for the DAT rather than partying around trying to forget about her.

Love ends up costing you more than you think.

I would take the top 10-15 and invest in myself.

School isn't going anywhere. Life isn't a race.

 

[Telekinesis]

Who dates five yrs anyway?

 

[Microglia]

Go for both. Finishing up my first year of long distance in a many year relationship while going to a top 10-15 school. It works well if you're right for each other. End of story.

Edit: To the above post, I think I will have been dating my girlfriend for about 8 years when we get married.

 

[chizledfrmstone]

School isn't going anywhere. Life isn't a race.

Who dates five yrs anyway?

I don't know, I'm just bitter right now.

I don't have fancy cable and Netflix doesn't have Game of Thrones.

 

[Hemorrage]

For all those saying no, you haven't been in true love yet. I couldn't imagine going on this journey without the love of my life. Relationships are hard, whose to say you won't do the same thing for residency, or a fellowship or a job. Money or a degree can't love you back you know.

True love or not, theres plenty of occasions where love has stabbed someone in the back and left them for dead. Love is like the seasons, it comes and goes, what keeps a relationship going is compromise and loyalty. Rarely do both people have equivalent quantities of each.

 

[The Buff OP]

If I'm deeply in love and she is my "swolemate" I would turn down the offer of top 10-15 schools and take the top 5.
In all seriousness, knowing I really want to go for surgery and I found someone who can understand my life for the next 10 years, cooks, lifts, and breaks the 1-10 scale of looks I would wifed her.
I don't want to be a guy who would be in his early '30s and not being able to get laid because of my long hours of work and I can't find myself a honey.
Get laid and have emotional support (someone to talk to about your day) > Top 10 medical school.

 

[EngineerPreMD]

What is this back and forth we're doing? Are we dating?
Let me tell you a little about myself. During winter I take my underwear and put it into the dryer for 5 minutes before wearing it. Keeps me nice and toasty. Don't knock it until you try it.
I would be a MS3 right now if I had not been in love during college.
My brother just broke up with his GF of 5 years. It will take him a while to realize he should be studying for the DAT rather than partying around trying to forget about her.
Love ends up costing you more than you think.
I would take the top 10-15 and invest in myself.

It totally depends on the strength of the relationship, and the career goals/priorities. If you regard 30 spots in USNWR as more valuable than seeing your SO every day, it never would have lasted, so don't sweat it. If you can't imagine yourself without him/her for the rest of your life, look very carefully to see if they feel the same, and then give up the prestige. Long-distance can be used in cases where you're not sure if he/she is really it yet, but it's a s**tty way to find out if your relationship is up to snuff. I think those who would value their career above their personal life are likely going to be the same ones going into prestige-driven fields, and so it will probably be worth it for them.

Seeing as how many people on this forum would eat a poop hotdog for a top 15 acceptance I'm gonna go ahead and say no....

If a top 15 school told me right now that if I ate a poop hotdog I wouldn't have to take the MCAT, wait another year to apply, write a million secondaries, spend thousands of dollars on applications and interviews, and continue to keep up all of my "interesting activities," I would do it in a second. What's a moment of pain to avoid thousands of hours of work?

 

[DermViser]

I would unequivocally, categorically turn down a top 10 school if it meant keeping my girlfriend.

You guys are talking about training staying with you your whole life? How about regret? F*** that s***.

I'm assuming you two have sexual relations.

 

[graybrij]

Um...bye Felicia. Hello Johns Hopkins.

 

[EngineerPreMD]

If I'm deeply in love and she is my "swolemate" I would turn down the offer of top 10-15 schools and take the top 5.
In all seriousness, knowing I really want to go for surgery and I found someone who can understand my life for the next 10 years, cooks, lifts, and breaks the 1-10 scale of looks I would wifed her.
I don't want to be a guy who would be in his early '30s and not being able to get laid because of my long hours of work and I can't find myself a honey.
Get laid and have emotional support (someone to talk to about your day) > Top 10 medical school.

Idk if getting laid and top 10 medical schools are mutually exclusive things. The same goes for emotional support. I think those things are more important to your happiness than a top 10 medical school, but there's no reason you couldn't find that once you got to medical school. I think it's a question of whether or not you've already found the person you want to be with, or if your current SO is ultimately just another relationship.

 

[Telekinesis]

Maybe I look at it different as a nontrad

 

[infinitessimal]

To everyone saying "of course, I did in my time, and can't imagine my life now without my love" - who's to say it wouldn't have worked out long distance if you went to that prestigious school/job position? I think arranging your personal life should be just as important as your career, but why do you have to give up one amazing thing for another? If your SO is truly "the one", I don't see how they wouldn't want you to realize your dreams.

 

[EngineerPreMD]

For all those saying no, you haven't been in true love yet. I couldn't imagine going on this journey without the love of my life. Relationships are hard, whose to say you won't do the same thing for residency, or a fellowship or a job. Money or a degree can't love you back you know.

I have to agree. I think it takes a certain amount of maturity to give up prestige for things that will make you happy. I also think it takes a certain amount of maturity to be in love (though the same could be said for immaturity). Most people aren't ready to be in love at this stage. Their priorities lie with themselves, which is fine. I think you see far more of these sacrifices made later on (e.g. couples entering the match together).

To everyone saying "of course, I did in my time, and can't imagine my life now without my love" - who's to say it wouldn't have worked out long distance if you went to that prestigious school/job position? I think arranging your personal life should be just as important as your career, but why do you have to give up one amazing thing for another? If your SO is truly "the one", I don't see how they wouldn't want you to realize your dreams.

I think the point is that if you're in love with your SO, being with them should be an integral part of your dream. You would be the one choosing not to gamble the relationship on long-distance or spend all that time away from him/her. We're not talking about a decision to do med school or something else entirely, we're talking about 30-40 spots on the USNWR rankings.

 

[QAsPsych]

For all those saying no, you haven't been in true love yet. I couldn't imagine going on this journey without the love of my life. Relationships are hard, whose to say you won't do the same thing for residency, or a fellowship or a job. Money or a degree can't love you back you know.

What a load.
I was in love, once. My SO made it clear, they would not move for my career, and they would not move for my happiness; we had to stay where we were. I left to pursue my career and I will never regret it even though it hurts. 9 times out of 10, if someone won't move or consider LDR with you for something like a top 10 med school, they're not worth having, "love" aside. Keep in mind that it is pretty unlikely your relationship will survive med school in the first place.

 

[EngineerPreMD]

What a load.
I was in love, once. My SO made it clear, they would not move for my career, and they would not move for my happiness; we had to stay where we were. I left to pursue my career and I will never regret it even though it hurts. 9 times out of 10, if someone won't move or consider LDR with you for something like a top 10 med school, they're not worth having, "love" aside. Keep in mind that it is pretty unlikely your relationship will survive med school in the first place.

Sounds like the "love" was one-directional. Thank God you decided to move. I think the circumstance would be that both parties are willing to do what it takes to make it survive. The SO is willing to try to move or do LDR, and the med schooler is willing to stay back and go to a local school instead. In the case that the SO can't move LDR would be a gamble for the relationship. Would you be willing to go to the lesser school to avoid the gamble of an LDR and also to share your life with that person throughout your education?

 

[Espadaleader]

If you are not married and/or have children moving for opportunity of going to a school like Yale/Harvard/Penn etc. is almost universally expected. I cannot imagine a SO that would not want you to pursue your dreams even if that means the possibility of not being with each other. LDR works. We just ruled out California for either of us. I would think most SOs would not allow you to not take the opportunity.

If you are married and/or have children and/or live in the midwest/fly over state where schools are widely spaced throughout that calculus is a little different.

 

[taniaekal]

Well, wouldn't the long distance and the emotional journey that is medical school be a test for the love between two people? Personally, if I am "in love" with somebody and that person is "in love" with me, I think they would understand my reason for moving away for years and focusing on studies.

If they cannot wait for me, then they never truly loved me.

 

[QAsPsych]

Sounds like the "love" was one-directional. Thank God you decided to move. I think the circumstance would be that both parties are willing to do what it takes to make it survive. The SO is willing to try to move or do LDR, and the med schooler is willing to stay back and go to a local school instead. In the case that the SO can't move LDR would be a gamble for the relationship. Would you be willing to go to the lesser school to avoid the gamble of an LDR and also to share your life with that person throughout your education?

It's possible to love a trainwreck and be loved in return. It's possible to not even know how different you are from the one you love until your dreams clash. People are complicated. Love is not the magical ingredient that prevents a relationship from being nontoxic.

I am not the romantic that a lot of the people on this board are. I believe LDR's can work, and if they don't then it just wasn't that strong after all. You have to put yourself first, because nobody else will. Don't confuse self-sacrifice for love. I would never gamble on my future to preserve an uncertain present, and wouldn't advise anyone else to do so either; stay or go, the odds are against your relationship surviving medical school, and I don't believe "true love" is the difference between the couples who make it and the ones who don't.

 

[Pacna]

I'm assuming you two have sexual relations.

That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me on this site.

 

[EngineerPreMD]

It's possible to love a trainwreck and be loved in return. It's possible to not even know how different you are from the one you love until your dreams clash. People are complicated. Love is not the magical ingredient that prevents a relationship from being nontoxic.

I am not the romantic that a lot of the people on this board are. I believe LDR's can work, and if they don't then it just wasn't that strong after all. You have to put yourself first, because nobody else will. Don't confuse self-sacrifice for love. I would never gamble on my future to preserve an uncertain present, and wouldn't advise anyone else to do so either; stay or go, the odds are against your relationship surviving medical school, and I don't believe "true love" is the difference between the couples who make it and the ones who don't.

Word.

 

[Optimus-Prime]

If its top 10... dime piece mandatory

 

[The Buff OP]

Idk if getting laid and top 10 medical schools are mutually exclusive things. The same goes for emotional support. I think those things are more important to your happiness than a top 10 medical school, but there's no reason you couldn't find that once you got to medical school. I think it's a question of whether or not you've already found the person you want to be with, or if your current SO is ultimately just another relationship.

I'm not in love with anyone at the moment. I plan on finding my swolemate in my last 2 years of college (I'm not a student at the moment), but if I don't then I hope I find a nice girl in medical school. However, if I find my true love in medical school that relationship could be put in jeopardy again when it comes to choosing different specialties and doing residencies in different states.

 

[Redpancreas]

Frankly, 9/10 times, I'd keep the girlfriend.


Where I think the "if she loves you, she'll want you to go where you want to go" argument to go to the top 10 school falls apart:


1. The argument assumes you will benefit from going to the better school.

What exactly are the advantages of a top 10 school?

-Do you want to be involved in academic medicine?
-Do you see yourself being important future leader/reformer in medicine-obviously everyone dreams of it, but do you see yourself being one and have a realistic plan?

If you don't want the academic medicine position and don't see yourself dedicating a large portion of your life to improving the system, what's the point in going to a top school?
I've seen great match lists from most MD schools with a good portion of applicants getting competitive residencies and prestigious programs. So really, what will the better school offer you?

Possibilities:
1. Sometimes better funding to do a research project.
2. Connections that are only valuable IF you're in academic medicine or plan on taking initiative and accomplishing something else in medicine.
3. A higher achieving population of students

but to be real here...

if you have a good step score, clinical grades, LORs, interview skills...whatever else...the point is, there are like 10 factors that come into play with residency selection that are more important than where you attended medical school. That means going to a lesser ranked school will not significantly diminish your opportunity to match in what you want nor will it influence what you learn.

Even if your girlfriend wants you to go to the top school, does she know that it's only marginally better if your end goal is to be a full-time practicing physician?


2. Less to do with the medical school, but in a relationship, I don't think that a participant's decision should be made on what makes one member happy. It should be made based what makes both members happy. If she doesn't want you to go, she can do say so without being selfish. At least she's being honest.



I've never been in a relationship but take this for what it's worth.

 

[Microglia]

Frankly, 9/10 times, I'd keep the girlfriend.


Where I think the "if she loves you, she'll want you to go where you want to go" argument to go to the top 10 school falls apart:


1. The argument assumes you will benefit from going to the better school.

What exactly are the advantages of a top 10 school?

-Do you want to be involved in academic medicine?
-Do you see yourself being important future leader/reformer in medicine-obviously everyone dreams of it, but do you see yourself being one and have a realistic plan?

If you don't want the academic medicine position and don't see yourself dedicating a large portion of your life to improving the system, what's the point in going to a top school?
I've seen great match lists from most MD schools with a good portion of applicants getting competitive residencies and prestigious programs. So really, what will the better school offer you?

Possibilities:
1. Sometimes better funding to do a research project.
2. Connections that are only valuable IF you're in academic medicine or plan on taking initiative and accomplishing something else in medicine.
3. A higher achieving population of students

but to be real here...

if you have a good step score, clinical grades, LORs, interview skills...whatever else...the point is, there are like 10 factors that come into play with residency selection that are more important than where you attended medical school. That means going to a lesser ranked school will not significantly diminish your opportunity to match in what you want nor will it influence what you learn.

Even if your girlfriend wants you to go to the top school, does she know that it's only marginally better if your end goal is to be a full-time practicing physician?


2. Less to do with the medical school, but in a relationship, I don't think that a participant's decision should be made on what makes one member happy. It should be made based what makes both members happy. If she doesn't want you to go, she can do say so without being selfish. At least she's being honest.



I've never been in a relationship but take this for what it's worth.

Yea but this argument falls apart if you want to do academic medicine. Then school name really does matter and so does residency. You can't be 100% sure whether you would want to do academia (or even high level consulting which recruits heavily from top 10-15s), and I don't think you should limit your or their career options to be close together. As a doctor, you're going to have hardly any time at many points in your life. If you can't handle a few years of long distance, then you're probably doomed in the long run anyway.

 

[Redpancreas]

Yea but this argument falls apart if you want to do academic medicine. Then school name really does matter and so does residency. You can't be 100% sure whether you would want to do academia (or even high level consulting which recruits heavily from top 10-15s), and I don't think you should limit your or their career options to be close together. As a doctor, you're going to have hardly any time at many points in your life. If you can't handle a few years of long distance, then you're probably doomed in the long run anyway.

A

True. I didn't even consider the prospect of academic medicine because while I want to do some research at some point, I'm not interested in it as a career. Also, I don't understand how those who are not interested in academic medicine can change their mind in medical school...I mean, so much time is spent studying (I would imagine, not matriculated yet) that you would hardly have time to explore research. I suspected it would be more like the ones interested in academic medicine just jump on the research bandwagon early since they know what they want to do and time in med school is limited. The rest might jump into a research project to increase residency prospects and get involved more in volunteering or other ECs.

Also, what is high-level consulting?

 

[Microglia]

True. I didn't even consider the prospect of academic medicine because while I want to do some research at some point, I'm not interested in it as a career. Also, I don't understand how those who are not interested in academic medicine can change their mind in medical school...I mean, so much time is spent studying (I would imagine, not matriculated yet) that you would hardly have time to explore research. I suspected it would be more like the ones interested in academic medicine just jump on the research bandwagon early since they know what they want to do and time in med school is limited. The rest might jump into a research project to increase residency prospects and get involved more in volunteering or other ECs.

Also, what is high-level consulting?

Actually, you'd be surprised at the amount of time you have in med school. You work a lot, but if you want to do something you can fit it in (at least that's true so far). I don't think I could do it, but a number of my classmates simultaneously work 20 hours a week in a lab. Every year one or two students discovers a passion for research and joins the MSTP here after M1, or realizes they're much happier practicing in an academic setting.

Consulting firms often recruit from top med schools, especially big name ones like BCG and McKinsey. They come here every few months with seminars on potential careers in consulting with them if you're not interested in practicing after medical school. They also have summer internships for med students at those schools and specialized post grad training programs. As far as the details of the career I'm not sure (haven't been to the seminars haha), but it's something financey lol.

 

[Psai]

Frankly, 9/10 times, I'd keep the girlfriend.


Where I think the "if she loves you, she'll want you to go where you want to go" argument to go to the top 10 school falls apart:


1. The argument assumes you will benefit from going to the better school.

What exactly are the advantages of a top 10 school?

-Do you want to be involved in academic medicine?
-Do you see yourself being important future leader/reformer in medicine-obviously everyone dreams of it, but do you see yourself being one and have a realistic plan?

If you don't want the academic medicine position and don't see yourself dedicating a large portion of your life to improving the system, what's the point in going to a top school?
I've seen great match lists from most MD schools with a good portion of applicants getting competitive residencies and prestigious programs. So really, what will the better school offer you?

Possibilities:
1. Sometimes better funding to do a research project.
2. Connections that are only valuable IF you're in academic medicine or plan on taking initiative and accomplishing something else in medicine.
3. A higher achieving population of students

but to be real here...

if you have a good step score, clinical grades, LORs, interview skills...whatever else...the point is, there are like 10 factors that come into play with residency selection that are more important than where you attended medical school. That means going to a lesser ranked school will not significantly diminish your opportunity to match in what you want nor will it influence what you learn.

Even if your girlfriend wants you to go to the top school, does she know that it's only marginally better if your end goal is to be a full-time practicing physician?


2. Less to do with the medical school, but in a relationship, I don't think that a participant's decision should be made on what makes one member happy. It should be made based what makes both members happy. If she doesn't want you to go, she can do say so without being selfish. At least she's being honest.



I've never been in a relationship but take this for what it's worth.

Hasn't been in a relationship or medical school. Offers advice on both.

 

[Redpancreas]

Hasn't been in a relationship or medical school. Offers advice on both.

Sorry to ruin your cute little meme-like phrase, but where in that post did I offer any advice that only current students should know? All I did was indicate factors that were indicated by the NRMP. As for relationships, fair enough, but I did make that clear and it's not like I was pretending to know something I didn't so buzz off.

 

[Espadaleader]

Actually, you'd be surprised at the amount of time you have in med school. You work a lot, but if you want to do something you can fit it in (at least that's true so far). I don't think I could do it, but a number of my classmates simultaneously work 20 hours a week in a lab. Every year one or two students discovers a passion for research and joins the MSTP here after M1, or realizes they're much happier practicing in an academic setting.

Consulting firms often recruit from top med schools, especially big name ones like BCG and McKinsey. They come here every few months with seminars on potential careers in consulting with them if you're not interested in practicing after medical school. They also have summer internships for med students at those schools and specialized post grad training programs. As far as the details of the career I'm not sure (haven't been to the seminars haha), but it's something financey lol.

True. I didn't even consider the prospect of academic medicine because while I want to do some research at some point, I'm not interested in it as a career. Also, I don't understand how those who are not interested in academic medicine can change their mind in medical school...I mean, so much time is spent studying (I would imagine, not matriculated yet) that you would hardly have time to explore research. I suspected it would be more like the ones interested in academic medicine just jump on the research bandwagon early since they know what they want to do and time in med school is limited. The rest might jump into a research project to increase residency prospects and get involved more in volunteering or other ECs.

Also, what is high-level consulting?

Research is an absolute must at top programs. Research time is dedicated and required for graduation.
https://www.bcg.com/join_bcg/oncampus/harvard_adv.aspx
http://www.mckinsey.com/careers/joi...chools/apd/harvard_-_medical_-_phd_-_post-doc

 

[reyrey777]

1. Depends how good the relationship is.
2. Depends how long you've been together. If less than 2 years, I'd choose the top 10 school. If more than 2 years, I'd reconsider.

 

[Narmerguy]

You can do research at more than just top 10 institutions. Anyone trying to pretend that attending a top 10 is central to their future career success is clearly deluding themselves. It simply does not matter for the vast majority of students.

Again, I think the majority of people that have actually experienced "love" would answer this question very differently. In fact, I'm abroad now and I've noted that this was one of the easiest ways to predict which relationships would fail. The ones where the two were unwilling to compromise on location (or there was some foggy notion of reconvening after 3-4 years) typically ended within a year. The relationships where one came abroad with the other, or they had concrete plans to be in the same city again after a year or two abroad have lasted. Most of those have ended in engagements or marriage. After being with someone for 2+ years you reach a point in the relationship where you either commit to each other or you don't. When it comes to actual love you make that commitment every time.

 

[runs4chocolate]

Would you ever deny an out of state top 10-15 acceptance to be around someone that you loved that couldn't move because they were going to school, and could not transfer/move for whatever reasons (i.e, can't get in anywhere else, personal circumstances, etc.) and go to a lower tier medical school anyway?

I understand medical school is medical school and a doctor is a doctor, but I'm pretty bent up on educational experiences, the different student body, and the adventures a top school could potentially offer.

The reason why I ask is because it ran through my mind. Not that I'm definite top 10-15 material, but just playing around with the thought when I apply. I might have to answer this question myself in the future.

Is it bad that I said no? I'd ditch even really intimate love for a top 10-15 faster than I can find Carbon on the periodic table?

Going to a top 10-15....happens once in a lifetime
Love......Gonna get a lot of heat for this, but I believe love can be found more than once in a lifetime


What do you think? What would you hypothetically do?

If you were really in love this wouldn't be an issue.

You can have your cake and eat it too with a real solid, loving relationship.

You can go to where you want and still have a relationship with that person even if they can't move.

 

[zeppelinpage4]

Would you ever deny an out of state top 10-15 acceptance to be around someone that you loved that couldn't move because they were going to school, and could not transfer/move for whatever reasons (i.e, can't get in anywhere else, personal circumstances, etc.) and go to a lower tier medical school anyway?

I understand medical school is medical school and a doctor is a doctor, but I'm pretty bent up on educational experiences, the different student body, and the adventures a top school could potentially offer.

The reason why I ask is because it ran through my mind. Not that I'm definite top 10-15 material, but just playing around with the thought when I apply. I might have to answer this question myself in the future.

Is it bad that I said no? I'd ditch even really intimate love for a top 10-15 faster than I can find Carbon on the periodic table?

Going to a top 10-15....happens once in a lifetime
Love......Gonna get a lot of heat for this, but I believe love can be found more than once in a lifetime


What do you think? What would you hypothetically do?

This differs person to person. There's no right or wrong answer I'd say. You go with with the things that matter most to you and make you happy. If that's your loved one then totally fine to make them your priority, if it's an educational experience then that's fine too. Some people are able to manage both, although that path has it's own set of difficulties from what I've seen among classmates.

-2 cents, I probably stated the obvious but yeah. Be honest with yourself when facing big decisions like this.

 

[Great White Buffalo]

I don't know, I'm just bitter right now.

I don't have fancy cable and Netflix doesn't have Game of Thrones.

Read the GoT books, they are pretty good!!

 

[EngineerPreMD]

I'm not in love with anyone at the moment. I plan on finding my swolemate in my last 2 years of college (I'm not a student at the moment), but if I don't then I hope I find a nice girl in medical school. However, if I find my true love in medical school that relationship could be put in jeopardy again when it comes to choosing different specialties and doing residencies in different states.

I think people tend to be more mature about their professional vs. personal choices once they are 26-27 (or later for the non-trads) and making residency decisions. A lot of people go into the match together, or they limit their options to a particular region. I'm non-trad, and as I got older I realized that job satisfaction and personal relationships make me much happier than prestige, so if I got into a top 15 med school, I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up turning it down for the sake of love or life in general. You're going to get to your mid-late twenties and either be fed up with the rat race or so deeply emerged in it that you'll keep going.