I don't want to be a doctor

Burrell College of Osteopathic Medicine
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For the person who started this thread:

I have just read the first 4 or 5 messages posted because i did not have time to read all of them

My situation:
i am an new attending. I graduated from medical school 5 years ago. I started medical school gung ho. then when 3rd year came i fizzled big time. i thought everyone in the profession was programmed, uninteresting and had closed minds. I had a pretty good social life however in med school. I was going out a lot and partying a lot. a little too much. I made it through by the skin of my ass really. I went to residency and partied a lot there too but made it through that got through the tests and everything. But it still sucks.. the only thing that turns me on is the money. I definitely do not wake up everymorning happy about what i do. But i do enjo the amount of money i make and its not even that much money for all the hard work i put in.

i was at my college today. I stopped in to play with the rugby squad and as i was walking to my car i bumped into someone who was pre med with me who i havent seein in 10 years. he still lives in the area and he left premed and got an english degree. and an EDd. he is a highschool english teacher and he is happy. Has his summers off. gets out at 230 pm etc. I told him he was lucky he got out of medicine when he did. the bull**** is not worth it. and it doesnt even begin until you have been on the wards for a couple of months and it escalates from there.. especially towards the end of your residency. Point being, Im ok content but the worrying about stuff sucks, the pay isnt all that great, and the control the government has on you sucks as well. Not to mention lawsuits, ****ty hours, not the happiest kind of things you deal with.
if you have the opportunity to get out, do it. make a plan and go with it. this is life man you can do with it as you please. i was too much into debt when i started hating it
sorry for such a long post.
 
Rbrav said:
I'm about to head into my fourth week of the first year, and I'm absolutely miserable. I don't like the material (I was a chem major in college). I'm studying all the time. Whenever I try to have fun, I feel guilty for not studying. Etc. It's so bad that I've been calling my parents almost every night and talking to them while crying (and I'm a guy!).

Part of this is the normal adjustment period, I think -- new town, new people, new to living alone, couple of hours away from my friends and girlfriend. The big reason, though, is that I'm pretty sure I don't want to be a doctor. I've known it for years, but I always tried to ignore or deny that fact. I've shadowed doctors, etc., and just not been too interested. Medicine is simply not calling me.

So why did I go to medical school? Partly to please people -- I've always been an overachiever. And yes, there are many doctors in my family, though they never actively pushed me to medicine. The other thing, though, is that I don't know what else I'd do with myself. There are plenty of things I like, but not many I could turn into a career. I think I'd want to write or edit, but I don't have much formal training, so that would also mean more school, and of course, salary and job security are far worse than that for doctors (something my mother has repeatedly pointed out).

I've told my parents I'll stick out the year, but I don't know if I can even make it that far. I've already wanted to quit a dozen times. I've never struggled like this before. I'm always tired, anxious, and unhappy. And, there's no light at the end of the tunnel if I don't want to be a doctor. There's nothing to motivate me.

I'm scared to leave and flounder, but I'm scared to stay in this hell. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Honestly, does it get any better after first semester? Are the third and fourth years less stressful? Is there a good chance of finding a specialty I'll like? Are there other things to do with an MD degree?

I know, that's a lot of questions. But I'm obviously having trouble here. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be in medical school, that there are far worse things to be than a doctor, and so on, but nothing cheers me up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Don't be such a wuss. Suck it up. YOu think the street sweeper wants to be a street sweeper? You are going to be a doctor, make a great living and have a great life. Don't be a whiner.
 
Justin4563 said:
For the person who started this thread:

I have just read the first 4 or 5 messages posted because i did not have time to read all of them
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Speaking of starting threads, aren't you the one who started the "Indian women" thread? It's ironic that you only read the first 4 or 5 posts of this thread because there's no way anyone could read your Indian women thread! Sorry about that...OK...back to this thread... 🙂
 
Panda Bear said:
Third year is a heck of a lot more stressful then first or second year, by the way. It is easier from and academic standpoint for sure but nobody "pimps" you in first year or expects you to know anything.
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Very true.

I'd never thought that I'd say such a thing, but students are 'coddled' the first two years of med school. Then third year hits. The days of being coddled are over, and you realize what a teeny little turd you are (well I'm getting this feeling from my surgical clerkship).
 
here's what you do (prepare for a non-serious reply):

find someone who really really wants into med school. get really good fake IDs with each other's names on them. they start going to school in your place, you start fresh as them, and do whatever you want. downside: gotta keep their name for eternity (or til you die).

serious part: ask yourself a simple question: if you could do ANYTHING you wanted career-wise, what would it be? realize then that you got into med school, which is representative of your ability to pretty much do anything you want, and then go do the thing you just got done wishing you could be doing.

if you live your life to make other people happy with your decisions, YOU WILL NEVER EVER BE HAPPY FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES AT A TIME. EVER. just make sure your lack of interest isn't really just performance anxiety dressed up as disinterest, because leaving and then trying to come back would be like [insert some analogy here about doing something really really really impossible, such as giving george w. bush a large vocabulary].

i wish you the best in your decisions.
 
AS some of the other posters have said, go see your dean of student to discuss your situation

I'd also suggest you spend some time with some of the less intense specialties. Being a doctor can mean a variety of things. Anesthesia vs radiology vs medicine are very, very different things. You'll probably be surpised how much different a shadowing experience can be when you are an undergrad vs a med student.

I'd try to hang through the first year to make sure that it's not just adjustment issues. (or at least first semester)

If you are still unhappy at the end of first year, you can probably arrange a leave of absence. That way, you still have a spot, you could come back if you want.

Ulitmately though, if you really don't want to be a doctor, don't. I think it takes a lot more guts to admit that and quit before you get in too deep than to stick it out. It's not for everybody, and patients deserve to have doctors who like what they do. Med school is not for people who just want a grad degree, or who are doing it because they can't decide what else to do. (that's what law school is for...just kidding...sort of)

Life is great when you love your job. Life isn't so great when you hate your job. I know because I left a career I didn't like to go to med school because that's what I always wanted to do. As a surgery resident I work my butt off, but I"m happy because I love my job. I can't imagine going through all the crap you go through in med school without really wanting to be a doctor. So if you give it a fair shot and still dont' like it, do yourself, your future family and your future pts a break and find something else to do...something you love.
 
Man after reading most of the posts on this site, I have some advice that brings many of the points made into cohesion. I have somewhat of a unique perspective as I am an intern who has recently taken some time off in an attempt decide whether I am going to continue. First off, you decided to attend medical school for some reason, disregarding what other people want for you. By considering quitting in the first couple of weeks you have obviously not given this much of a chance. If you were not interested in your shadowing experiences and do not enjoy what you are studying, it is apparent that you are in the wrong profession and probably should not have applied in the first place. As far as being able to hack it, you were intelligent enough to get yourself in and will get through it if you take some initiative. Medicine does not take a tremendous amount of intellect, but requires incredible dedication, self discipline, and time management skills. During the first year of med school, everyone is initially overwhelmed. However, after about four months or so, you realize how much studying is required, how to manage your time efficiently, and that you are able to succeed. The bottom line is that if this is something you want to do, you can do it. Secondly, you have to decide for yourself if you want to do it. Ask yourself if you will be happy being a doctor in x field seven years down the road. If you are unsure, than you haven't researched your future career well enough and could be making a huge mistake. If you do not have a passion or love of medicine, it is not worth the sacrifices. If you can picture yourself doing something else, or have another passion in life, than pursue those areas. Unless you really love medicine, it does not 'get better'. Yes, second year is easier than first year and more applicable clinically, but third year is brutal. And as brutal as the wards can be, internship can be atrocious. So, you really have to follow what you love in life. You are probably intelligent enough to do almost anything, you got into medical school for chr--- sake. Follow your heart, talk to your counselor, realize that you are just beginning one hell of a long road with many sacrifices, but it will be worth it if you really enjoy it. As for me, I enjoyed certain aspects of it, am in a malignant residency program and taking time to reevaluate things. I may not come back to my program and have no regrets. I decided to attend medical school and residency, and I am going to be the one who decides whether I return or not. Be true to yourself and make no excuses.
 
Rbrav said:
I'm about to head into my fourth week of the first year, and I'm absolutely miserable. I don't like the material (I was a chem major in college). I'm studying all the time. Whenever I try to have fun, I feel guilty for not studying. Etc. It's so bad that I've been calling my parents almost every night and talking to them while crying (and I'm a guy!).

Part of this is the normal adjustment period, I think -- new town, new people, new to living alone, couple of hours away from my friends and girlfriend. The big reason, though, is that I'm pretty sure I don't want to be a doctor. I've known it for years, but I always tried to ignore or deny that fact. I've shadowed doctors, etc., and just not been too interested. Medicine is simply not calling me.

So why did I go to medical school? Partly to please people -- I've always been an overachiever. And yes, there are many doctors in my family, though they never actively pushed me to medicine. The other thing, though, is that I don't know what else I'd do with myself. There are plenty of things I like, but not many I could turn into a career. I think I'd want to write or edit, but I don't have much formal training, so that would also mean more school, and of course, salary and job security are far worse than that for doctors (something my mother has repeatedly pointed out).

I've told my parents I'll stick out the year, but I don't know if I can even make it that far. I've already wanted to quit a dozen times. I've never struggled like this before. I'm always tired, anxious, and unhappy. And, there's no light at the end of the tunnel if I don't want to be a doctor. There's nothing to motivate me.

I'm scared to leave and flounder, but I'm scared to stay in this hell. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Honestly, does it get any better after first semester? Are the third and fourth years less stressful? Is there a good chance of finding a specialty I'll like? Are there other things to do with an MD degree?

I know, that's a lot of questions. But I'm obviously having trouble here. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be in medical school, that there are far worse things to be than a doctor, and so on, but nothing cheers me up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

Just get an MD and be a consultant for a company then. Possibly also get an MBA or JD. Some schools offer these combo degrees.
 
...Also, quitting is weak, not enlightened; if you regret doing something, you didn't think hard enough about it beforehand. Have the discipline to follow through.

4. If you quit med school, chances are you'll probably quit other things in life that seem difficult. You could get into some writing job that makes med school look like a walk in the park, and regret it later. Also, you can't be a quitter and an "overachiever", so just don't quit. If you're struggling harder than you ever have, that's a good thing, and you can learn something about yourself that you couldn't otherwise. Keep at it! If something isn't difficult to attain, chances are it isn't worth much.
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I really regard this as well-intentioned bull****e. We ALL make decisions that were not ideally-thought-out. We may not have had all the information we needed at the time to make the ideal decision, etc. Is the really smart thing to continue with a poorly reasoned/supported course of action solely "because quitting is weak"? I think not. 'Twould be nice if such easy rules applied, but as many other posters imply, you're better off doing some hard thinking than relying on tough-love platitudes.

As far as "quitting is weak" goes, for an overachiever, I think that making the reasoned decision to quit an endeavor actually takes a fair bit of bravery. It's a different kind of bravery than the NAVY SEAL brand of bravery, to be sure - much respect to all that. But the truth is, ain't no adrenaline helping you with a career change. I left a career in computer science research to enter medical school. For me, the decision to leave a career that was really amping up (and with fabulous job security - defense contracting - can't outsource THAT to India...) was terrifying. However, I felt that the work I was doing, although intellectually interesting, was virtually meaningless to me. It was sucking away my soul, and my husband was afraid that I would never be "myself" again. So after a couple years of working up the guts, I left. I had to go from being a senior engineer to a know-nothing MS1. I had several "friends" start condescending to me once I started carrying a backpack again. You can roll your eyes alot, but it's hard not to let it get to you. I'm an MS2 now, and I don't think I'll quit med school ;-) For one thing, I'm pretty darned sure I wouldn't be brave enough to switch careers a 2nd time, and thankfully I think I picked one that fits me better this time. Did a lot more thinking (and shadowing, and reading, and talking to docs/med students/residents/spouses) the second time around, that's for sure.

Do the hard thinking. Know yourself. And learn from the mistakes you made. Good luck, whatever you choose, OP.

Daria
 
Lebesgue said:
Ok, reality check...

1. Quit crying! You're in medical school, not Iraq. No one is shooting at you and your friends aren't getting blown away, so let's have a little perspective. (Also, let's all use the opportunities those fine soldiers are affording us. 👍 )

2. You obviously had enough motivation to be a physician to hammer out undergrad, take the MCAT, apply, interview, and get in to med school. Don't discount that.

3. You can do pretty much anything you want to with an MD, even write and edit... and have excellent job security. So ignore all the "quit if you'll be happier" lines, just cause it's difficult right now. Fact: First year blows, and second year is better. Someone else can tell you about 3rd year and beyond. Also, quitting is weak, not enlightened; if you regret doing something, you didn't think hard enough about it beforehand. Have the discipline to follow through.

4. If you quit med school, chances are you'll probably quit other things in life that seem difficult. You could get into some writing job that makes med school look like a walk in the park, and regret it later. Also, you can't be a quitter and an "overachiever", so just don't quit. If you're struggling harder than you ever have, that's a good thing, and you can learn something about yourself that you couldn't otherwise. Keep at it! If something isn't difficult to attain, chances are it isn't worth much.

5. It's way too early in the game to know if you really like medicine. Heck, I don't really know what it's all about, but I sure want to see for myself. I think you should stick it out, since you asked all of us... Remember, it gets better!

6. Take it one day and one test at a time... Apply yourself like you know how, insulate yourself from the stressful ones and unmotivated ones in your class, and do well. Make some good friends and enjoy your freedom. Before you know it, the second year will be upon you, and the next, and the next.

7. Chances are you're young. So, even if you get all the way through with the next four years, and hate it, at least you'll have an MD on your resume that will open the doors to pretty much any job you want. You can easily start over on a new career path at 25; I started med school at 32.

8. Go forth and do well in med school. Do not quit or take a year to "get to know yourself" or something... The best decisions in life are often the hardest; it would probably easier to quit med school, which should be a red flag not to do it. Stay with it!!!

Best of luck to you!

🙂
Click to expand...

I commend you for your post, Lebesgue as well as everyone's. Very moving...
 
I am just going to say what everyone else wants to say, "STOP COMPLAINING!!" Med school is not that bad, it is actually quit easy compared to other professions that get paid as much as doctors. I am in med school right now, and it is not that bad at all. I go out twice a week and workout every other day. In fact, I just came back from DC, one of my boys threw a party in some club. Basically, I have a life outside of medical school, and I still find time to study three to four hours a day. We have already had an exam, and I got just about the mean, which is fine for me. You need to stop whining like a pubescent teenage girl (especially crying to your parents, that is abosultey pathetic), and take med school like a man. There are 100s of other people that would cut their own penis off to have your spot in medical school. I don't mean to be harsh, but I am just keeping it real with you.

seekanddestroy
 
seekanddestroy said:
I am just going to say what everyone else wants to say, "STOP COMPLAINING!!" Med school is not that bad, it is actually quit easy compared to other professions that get paid as much as doctors. I am in med school right now, and it is not that bad at all. I go out twice a week and workout every other day. In fact, I just came back from DC, one of my boys threw a party in some club. Basically, I have a life outside of medical school, and I still find time to study three to four hours a day. We have already had an exam, and I got just about the mean, which is fine for me. You need to stop whining like a pubescent teenage girl (especially crying to your parents, that is abosultey pathetic), and take med school like a man. There are 100s of other people that would cut their own penis off to have your spot in medical school. I don't mean to be harsh, but I am just keeping it real with you.

seekanddestroy
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Are you a first year? I would like to see if you still go out twice a week as an MS2.
 
aphistis said:
(apparently somebody hasn't realized that one med [/dent/grad/etc] student calling another a nerd is a fairly ineffective insult)
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I believe he was "kidding"... 😕
 
if you hate the sheet youre dealing with, do something else. ignore these people telling you to suck it up, blah blah blah. medicine is not for everyone, period. unless you come from a rich family, which many med students do, you are going to accumulate more and more debt that will be a huge pain in the arse to repay if you are not earning decent money. if i were starting over, i would go into something else, put in half the effort, and be hugely successful. i am sick of the amount of studying/work/sleep loss/tolerating abuse, etc that i have done so far (MS4) and i am not looking forward to residency. i am just too far in to drop everything and get reemed by my current debt. i still may go into an alternative field. worst case scenario for you is to leave after this semester, try something else, and if you decide that you want to come back, piece of cake. good luck.
 
c diddy said:
if you hate the sheet youre dealing with, do something else. ignore these people telling you to suck it up, blah blah blah. medicine is not for everyone, period. unless you come from a rich family, which many med students do, you are going to accumulate more and more debt that will be a huge pain in the arse to repay if you are not earning decent money. if i were starting over, i would go into something else, put in half the effort, and be hugely successful. i am sick of the amount of studying/work/sleep loss/tolerating abuse, etc that i have done so far (MS4) and i am not looking forward to residency. i am just too far in to drop everything and get reemed by my current debt. i still may go into an alternative field. worst case scenario for you is to leave after this semester, try something else, and if you decide that you want to come back, piece of cake. good luck.
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STOP COMPLAINING, be a man!!!
 
Almost everyone at some point along the way doubts the decision. This scaring the crap out of me already and I'm just an MS1. The time and stress will do that. However, most Dr's are happy they did it when all is said and done. If you make the decision to quit or take a break, be sure of it, give it some time and don't burn bridges. We've lost one out of my tank already (day before 1st tests) and it's pretty depressing. She was a repeat, so no more chances. This is not for everyone, but don't bail on a sudden impulse.
 
hey

You can still party like a madman or a madwoman in medschool. Im serious. ALl you have to do is get the notes or the lecture tapes. So that post by the guy who went to dc is totally true. I had more of a party life in medschool then in college. granted I really wasnt a good student in med school. Just got by.. they Lost me after telling me how lucky i was to be here. My schedule on off test weeks.. get up at noon... shower... go into school see whats going on, go to lunch with some buddies, pick up some lecture notes, attend an afternoon session.. Make plans for the evening.. study my ass off from 7pm-1130pm. Then go out and hit the bars and clubs around town.. (I had to pick up lecture tapes most of thetime since they were on tape). If you go to a med school that is totally straightforward and they dont try to trick you on the tests you are golden. there you have it.. for four years
 
Justin4563 said:
hey

You can still party like a madman or a madwoman in medschool. Im serious. ALl you have to do is get the notes or the lecture tapes. So that post by the guy who went to dc is totally true. I had more of a party life in medschool then in college. granted I really wasnt a good student in med school. Just got by.. they Lost me after telling me how lucky i was to be here. My schedule on off test weeks.. get up at noon... shower... go into school see whats going on, go to lunch with some buddies, pick up some lecture notes, attend an afternoon session.. Make plans for the evening.. study my ass off from 7pm-1130pm. Then go out and hit the bars and clubs around town.. (I had to pick up lecture tapes most of thetime since they were on tape). If you go to a med school that is totally straightforward and they dont try to trick you on the tests you are golden. there you have it.. for four years
Click to expand...

What med school do you go to?
 
I have this to say if you don't want to be a doctor and are pretty sure of that fact then why are you still here. If think that you may want to be a doctor than I would stick it out a little longer. The first two years are the really rough part and then you get to try and figure out what want to do. They say it gets much easier.
Also you are not alon in you struggles. My school promised us a life outside of studying. I think that must have invcluded the hours I spend eating and sleeping. Oh well. Anyway good luck
 
hondo55 said:
Cheesy poofs- How have you dealt with leaving medical school? Has it been hard to adjust not having "medicine" dominate your life? What are you doing now??
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it's been hard but i have come to learn i didn't try med school for the right reason not to psycobabble but really look deep at why your there.
 
I don't know if someone posted this or not yet because I couldn't bare to read all those posts but there are plenty of people that go to med school and never actually practice medicine.

You can go into research ... chem and med are a great mix. And surprise but you don't need a PhD to do research an MD will do you fine.

Also, you could write about medical stuff or just your missrible experience in med school. 😱
 
seekanddestroy said:
I am just going to say what everyone else wants to say, "STOP COMPLAINING!!" Med school is not that bad, it is actually quit easy compared to other professions that get paid as much as doctors. I am in med school right now, and it is not that bad at all. I go out twice a week and workout every other day. In fact, I just came back from DC, one of my boys threw a party in some club. Basically, I have a life outside of medical school, and I still find time to study three to four hours a day. We have already had an exam, and I got just about the mean, which is fine for me. You need to stop whining like a pubescent teenage girl (especially crying to your parents, that is abosultey pathetic), and take med school like a man. There are 100s of other people that would cut their own penis off to have your spot in medical school. I don't mean to be harsh, but I am just keeping it real with you.

seekanddestroy
Click to expand...

Did you just start medical school or what? Two I doubt you will do much but just pass with that behavior. Let me know how much you are working out and partying towards the middle of the year and during the second year. IN addition do you not go to class or they only have like 3hrs of class per day. Come on man, you are trying to play down med school as easy. It's not eazy and you have to study. Material is not hard granted, but it's voluminous. And yea you are cool with being at the mean. You know how much more you would have to study to get honors. Yea med school is ieasy, right, you don't know WTF you are talking about. BUt then again if you think C=MD then you might have something. NOt sure if I would want you taking care of me if I was sick champ.
 
Rbrav said:
I'm about to head into my fourth week of the first year, and I'm absolutely miserable. I don't like the material (I was a chem major in college). I'm studying all the time. Whenever I try to have fun, I feel guilty for not studying. Etc. It's so bad that I've been calling my parents almost every night and talking to them while crying (and I'm a guy!).
Click to expand...


Dude, just quit. Don't live out someone else's dream. My second cousin was in the same boat. Did everything that was expected of him, got into medical school, then committed suicide during the first year because he was so unhappy. His family was devastated. The rest of us, couldn't understand why he didn't just quit and stand up to his parents. What a waste.
 
Seekanddestroy: I think that some of my friends are in your med school class. Do you go to University of MD?
 
Ok I am only a first year so I really cant speak about the future but I will say a few things
(1) EVERYONE questions what they are doing at first and no one has any idea what they are getting into. Since I started school I have been gettign anxiety attacks and lightheaded spells all the time, and I love school so far and have done very well! I am learning just to focus on the most immediate challenge and not worry about the future. It is totally natural to feel bad and stressed when you undergo a major life change. But hey the first semester is flying by in 4 weeks i will be 25% done with my pre clinical education! Also I just think of how much I have learned in the past 11 weeks and will learn in the next month and it amazes me. I will say that if you dont take that kind of pleasure in advancing and learning than maybe you are in the wrong field.

(2) We all have this strong idea that medicine is what we want to do but no one knows how they will truely react when it becomes a major part of their life. You could love it or hate it you dont know. You could read all the literature and shadow all the doctors you want it is still a mystery. Just remember if you stay in school you have options for a career in the health sciences. if you get your mD you can go into research or be a consultant or something. My pre-med advisor even told me you can apply to PHD programs if you really hate clinical medicine (though it may take some extra time).

(3) Most people I have talked to like it more as it goes on. I have dreaded the third year but EVERYONE i spoke to says the first two years are the worst part even though the third year is more time consumming it is a lot better and more rewarding and everyone loves the fourth year.

You are not alone in feeling anxious or having difficulty adjusting. Ultimately you have to do what works for you but I dont think you have been in this long enough to know either way. I feel so much better today than I did in August and Im sure that trend will continue.

This does bring up a topic I have to admit I have thought about. Does anyone know a med student who hated clinical medicine and applied to phD programs? I know I will survive the first two years but sometimes I worry about the third so I am asking just in case even though I think I will love it!!!!
 
tupac_don said:
You know how much more you would have to study to get honors. Yea med school is ieasy, right, you don't know WTF you are talking about. BUt then again if you think C=MD then you might have something. NOt sure if I would want you taking care of me if I was sick champ.
Click to expand...
Maybe he just doesn't think it's quintessential to have the Krebs cycle down pat when he's diagnosing a patient? Guy who graduates last in his class still has an MD.
 
Update: the OP just finished his residency and is happy in private practice.

Guess he wanted to be a doctor after all. So, I guess we can let this thread die??
 
omarsaleh66 said:
Update: the OP just finished his residency and is happy in private practice.

Guess he wanted to be a doctor after all. So, I guess we can let this thread die??
Click to expand...


I'm confused. The original post was in August of this year.
 
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