Emergency Medicine Haikus for all to enjoy

Seaglass · Jul 2, 2004

For some reason, hours of rounds and chasing K and Mag all day really make me appreciate EM so much more.

Plus we have this really terrible order entry system that keeps eating my labs.

So I put together this haiku:

Damn this Medicine!
The hours spent chasing vapors -
I long for the Pit.

C

Aloha Kid · Jul 2, 2004

Cool poem! For everyones edification, Haiku is one of the most important form of traditional japanese poetry. Haiku is, today, a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.

Switch your 2nd and 3rd lines around and you got a winner. :laugh:

mountebank · Jul 4, 2004

that's funny

roja · Jul 10, 2004

Bravo.

NinerNiner999 · Jul 10, 2004

Here's mine...

Round, round, round all day
efficiency goes away
Medicine blows hard.

Hercules · Jul 10, 2004

NinerNiner999 said:
Here's mine...

Round, round, round all day
efficiency goes away
Medicine blows hard.

That's awesome! 👍 👍

DMO · Jul 18, 2004

EM

Vomit on my shoes,
Getting pimped like no other
I want my mother

USCDiver · Jul 18, 2004

Admit, treat, discharge
No one really improves much
Long live DNR

roja · Jul 18, 2004

Outstanding!

dodobird · Jul 18, 2004

Smells like so much poo
Doesn't matter what labs say
She's circling the drain.

USCDiver · Jul 18, 2004

Differential list
Is nineteen enough for you?
It's a UTI!

roja · Jul 18, 2004

DrQuinn · Jul 18, 2004

Here, have some Mo-feen
Get addicted, lose your job
Disability!

Q, DO

roja · Jul 18, 2004

QuinnNSU said:
Here, have some Mo-feen
Get addicted, lose your job
Disability!

Q, DO

🙄 what a suprise.. a morphine haiku from quinn. 😉 😛

DrQuinn · Jul 18, 2004

My Roja Haiku

Roja of New York
Ultrasound me please, thank you
Don't forget condoms

Q, DO

Seaglass · Jul 18, 2004

I tuned up my haiku. If you need to check syllables try www.dictionary.com.

Seaglass · Jul 18, 2004

Quinn, can you make the thread title Haiku related?

NateatUC · Jul 18, 2004

I'm on Peds ER this month, in the non-urgent area, so here's one...

Check my rash, my throat.
Let the med student do it.
Not sick anyway.

roja · Jul 18, 2004

QuinnNSU said:
My Roja Haiku

Roja of New York
Ultrasound me please, thank you
Don't forget condoms

Q, DO

You dirty man! I feel violated!

Harassed!

Can you do it again? 😀

USCDiver · Jul 19, 2004

Oh now we're not limited to Internal Medicine haiku, eh?

Pregnant, in labor
Four hundred pounds of woman
How did she get laid?

DrQuinn · Jul 19, 2004

NateatUC said:
I'm on Peds ER this month, in the non-urgent area, so here's one...

Check my rash, my throat.
Let the med student do it.
Not sick anyway.

hahah great!

Q, DO

DrQuinn · Jul 19, 2004

House Officer Here
Give forty of K-C-L
Damn Potassium!

Q, DO

DeLaughterDO · Jul 19, 2004

these are for all the students in the house...

Slaving away here
Post call delirium sucks
can I go home please?

Medical student
why do I have to show up?
Need to check labs now

This is FUN!

jd

aphistis · Jul 19, 2004

FYI, this is such a great idea I Bogart'ed it for the dental forum. 😀

dchristismi · Jul 19, 2004

USCDiver said:
Oh now we're not limited to Internal Medicine haiku, eh?

Pregnant, in labor
Four hundred pounds of woman
How did she get laid?

Browsing through the threads...
Snorted coffee out my nose
I've asked the same thing.

DeLaughterDO · Jul 20, 2004

dchristismi and USCDiver,

LOL!!

jd

Seaglass · Jul 20, 2004

Where's the damn I.V.?
Nurse DC'd it days ago.
I'll give it I.M.

DrQuinn · Jul 20, 2004

Seaglass said:
Where's the damn I.V.?
Nurse DC'd it days ago.
I'll give it I.M.

hahaha, these are so funny. Good thread!

Q, DO

Seaglass · Jul 20, 2004

"Krispy Kreme" units:
So fat he can't aim his pee -
Give him a foley.

USCDiver · Jul 21, 2004

My boy is crying!
Tell me, is this your first child?
He's ten days old, ma'am.

USCDiver · Jul 21, 2004

Inhale, wait, inhale
Four breaths per minute, doctor!
Give her some Narcan.

docB · Jul 21, 2004

You are here again.
There is nothing wrong with you.
You are here again.

eadysx · Jul 21, 2004

docB said:
You are here again.
There is nothing wrong with you.
You are here again.

Well done, very well done. :laugh:

E-

roja · Jul 21, 2004

docB said:
You are here again.
There is nothing wrong with you.
You are here again.

Truely beautiful. Truly. *sniff*

DrQuinn · Jul 21, 2004

Pain everywhere?
What is your diagnosis?
Fibromyalgia!

Fibromyalgia?
Is it end stage, dear doctor?
Yes, discharge home now.

Q, DO

roja · Jul 21, 2004

QuinnNSU said:
Pain everywhere?
What is your diagnosis?
Fibromyalgia!

Fibromyalgia?
Is it end stage, dear doctor?
Yes, discharge home now.

Q, DO

They aren't working you hard enough, my friend.

mikecwru · Jul 22, 2004

roja said:
They aren't working you hard enough, my friend.

Goddamned C-C-U
Someone going in VT?
No, just needs lasix

1 more call

mike

trex92499 · Jul 22, 2004

From the Psych ER:

Have no place to stay?
Ideation, Voices, Detox
Hello, Psych Admission

Apollyon · Jul 22, 2004

trex92499 said:
From the Psych ER:

Have no place to stay?
Ideation, Voices, Detox
Hello, Psych Admission

5/7/5

trex92499 · Jul 22, 2004

Sorry, a prolonged psych rotation has made me unable to count

docB · Jul 22, 2004

trex92499 said:
Sorry, a prolonged psych rotation has made me unable to count

You are hearby granted poetic license.

dksamp · Jul 24, 2004

ER
God damn drug seeker
All he wants is percocet
There's no kidney stone

Internal Medicine
Elderly train wreck
Nursing home is an option
She is ninety-five

Pediatrics
Love that Zithromax
Treat the parent not the child
He has a virus

Psych
He has ADD
Give him some amphetamines
Teacher is happy

Surgery
Abdominal pain
Johnny has decreased bowel sounds
Let's operate now

OB/GYN
I have low back pain
That is part of pregnancy
Stat c-section now

Foreign medical schools
Med school is abroad
Sacrifice is four years long
Better pass your boards

Radiology
Normal x-Ray film
But cannot rule out disease
Suggest can scan now

Enjoy 🙂

DrQuinn · Jul 24, 2004

dksamp said:
ER
God damn drug seeker
All he wants is percocet
There's no kidney stone

Internal Medicine
Elderly train wreck
Nursing home is an option
She is ninety-five

Pediatrics
Love that Zithromax
Treat the parent not the child
He has a virus

Psych
He has ADD
Give him some amphetamines
Teacher is happy

Surgery
Abdominal pain
Johnny has decreased bowel sounds
Let's operate now

OB/GYN
I have low back pain
That is part of pregnancy
Stat c-section now

Foreign medical schools
Med school is abroad
Sacrifice is four years long
Better pass your boards

Radiology
Normal x-Ray film
But cannot rule out disease
Suggest can scan now

Enjoy 🙂

Very nice.

Q

docB · Jul 24, 2004

You have smoked more crack.
You know that you are pregnant.
Don't you care at all?

deleted6669 · Jul 25, 2004

You Lost Your Script Dude
How Is This My Problem Dude
Call Your Clinic Doc

Apollyon · Jul 26, 2004

You - shot in the ass
Quit asking for Percocet
You'll get a couple

Seaglass · Jul 26, 2004

Very nice.

Seaglass · Jul 26, 2004

Soft Rule-out MI
Enzymes times three, AM Stress
Then you're out the door

Seaglass · Jul 26, 2004

Democratic Groups?
Sessamoid, DocB, Mud-Phud-
Please, we want to know!

Apollyon · Jul 26, 2004

Worked hard (more or less)
Scumbags, fossils, and dealers.
Time for some good porn!

Emergency Medicine Haikus for all to enjoy

Quantum Member

Senior Member

Member

Full Member

Senior Member

Son of Zeus

Diving Medical Officer

Percocet-R-US

Full Member

Junior Member

Percocet-R-US

Full Member

My name is Neo

Full Member

My name is Neo

Quantum Member

Quantum Member

Senior Member

Full Member

Percocet-R-US

My name is Neo

My name is Neo

Ghost in the Machine

Full Member

Gin and Tonic

Ghost in the Machine

Quantum Member

My name is Neo

Quantum Member

Percocet-R-US

Percocet-R-US

Chronically painful

Senior Member

Full Member

My name is Neo

Full Member

M.D. = Massive Debt

Senior Member

Screw the GST

Senior Member

Chronically painful

Member

My name is Neo

Chronically painful

deleted6669

Screw the GST

Quantum Member

Quantum Member

Quantum Member

Screw the GST

Similar threads