Emergency Medicine Haikus for all to enjoy

Discussion in 'Emergency Medicine' started by Seaglass, Jul 2, 2004.

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  1. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member 10+ Year Member

    1,614
    5
    Jul 25, 2003
    Winston Salem, NC
    For some reason, hours of rounds and chasing K and Mag all day really make me appreciate EM so much more.

    Plus we have this really terrible order entry system that keeps eating my labs.

    So I put together this haiku:

    Damn this Medicine!
    The hours spent chasing vapors -
    I long for the Pit.

    C
     
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  3. Aloha Kid

    Aloha Kid Senior Member 10+ Year Member

    419
    0
    Mar 9, 2001
    Cool poem! For everyones edification, Haiku is one of the most important form of traditional japanese poetry. Haiku is, today, a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.

    Switch your 2nd and 3rd lines around and you got a winner. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     
  4. mountebank

    mountebank Member 7+ Year Member

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    1
    Dec 16, 2002
    NYC
    that's funny
     
  5. roja

    roja 7+ Year Member

    6,040
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    Oct 20, 2003
    NYC--->San Francisco
    :clap::clap::clap:



    Bravo.
     
  6. NinerNiner999

    NinerNiner999 Senior Member 10+ Year Member

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    Nov 4, 2003
    Where it's at.
    Here's mine...

    Round, round, round all day
    efficiency goes away
    Medicine blows hard.
     
  7. Hercules

    Hercules Son of Zeus 10+ Year Member

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    Jul 25, 2000
    Mobile, AL
    That's awesome! :thumbup: :thumbup:
     
  8. DMO

    DMO Diving Medical Officer 10+ Year Member

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    Sep 2, 2003
    !
    EM

    Vomit on my shoes,
    Getting pimped like no other
    I want my mother
     
  9. USCDiver

    USCDiver Percocet-R-US 10+ Year Member

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    Aug 31, 2003
    Greensboro,NC
    Admit, treat, discharge
    No one really improves much
    Long live DNR
     
  10. roja

    roja 7+ Year Member

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    Oct 20, 2003
    NYC--->San Francisco
    Outstanding!
     
  11. dodobird

    dodobird Junior Member 7+ Year Member

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    Mar 14, 2004
    Smells like so much poo
    Doesn't matter what labs say
    She's circling the drain.
     
  12. USCDiver

    USCDiver Percocet-R-US 10+ Year Member

    492
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    Aug 31, 2003
    Greensboro,NC
    Differential list
    Is nineteen enough for you?
    It's a UTI!
     
  13. roja

    roja 7+ Year Member

    6,040
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    Oct 20, 2003
    NYC--->San Francisco
  14. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    4,227
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    Dec 6, 2000
    Wisconsin
    Here, have some Mo-feen
    Get addicted, lose your job
    Disability!

    Q, DO
     
  15. roja

    roja 7+ Year Member

    6,040
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    Oct 20, 2003
    NYC--->San Francisco


    :rolleyes: what a suprise.. a morphine haiku from quinn. ;) :p
     
  16. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    4,227
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    Dec 6, 2000
    Wisconsin
    My Roja Haiku

    Roja of New York
    Ultrasound me please, thank you
    Don't forget condoms

    Q, DO
     
  17. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member 10+ Year Member

    1,614
    5
    Jul 25, 2003
    Winston Salem, NC
  18. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member 10+ Year Member

    1,614
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    Jul 25, 2003
    Winston Salem, NC
    Quinn, can you make the thread title Haiku related?
     
  19. NateatUC

    NateatUC Senior Member 5+ Year Member

    126
    1
    Jun 5, 2004
    Cincinnati, OH
    I'm on Peds ER this month, in the non-urgent area, so here's one...

    Check my rash, my throat.
    Let the med student do it.
    Not sick anyway.
     
  20. roja

    roja 7+ Year Member

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    Oct 20, 2003
    NYC--->San Francisco

    You dirty man! I feel violated!

    Harassed!






    Can you do it again? :D
     
  21. USCDiver

    USCDiver Percocet-R-US 10+ Year Member

    492
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    Aug 31, 2003
    Greensboro,NC
    Oh now we're not limited to Internal Medicine haiku, eh?

    Pregnant, in labor
    Four hundred pounds of woman
    How did she get laid?
     
  22. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    4,227
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    Dec 6, 2000
    Wisconsin
    hahah great!

    Q, DO
     
  23. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    4,227
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    Dec 6, 2000
    Wisconsin
    House Officer Here
    Give forty of K-C-L
    Damn Potassium!

    Q, DO
     
  24. DeLaughterDO

    DeLaughterDO Ghost in the Machine 10+ Year Member

    949
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    Jun 26, 2004
    State of Being
    these are for all the students in the house...

    Slaving away here
    Post call delirium sucks
    can I go home please?

    Medical student
    why do I have to show up?
    Need to check labs now

    This is FUN!

    jd
     
  25. aphistis

    aphistis Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    8,394
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    Feb 15, 2003
    Indianapolis
    hSDN Member
    FYI, this is such a great idea I Bogart'ed it for the dental forum. :D
     
  26. dchristismi

    dchristismi Gin and Tonic 10+ Year Member

    918
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    Dec 4, 2003
    Central Florida
    Browsing through the threads...
    Snorted coffee out my nose
    I've asked the same thing.
     
  27. DeLaughterDO

    DeLaughterDO Ghost in the Machine 10+ Year Member

    949
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    Jun 26, 2004
    State of Being
    dchristismi and USCDiver,

    LOL!!

    jd
     
  28. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member 10+ Year Member

    1,614
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    Jul 25, 2003
    Winston Salem, NC
    Where's the damn I.V.?
    Nurse DC'd it days ago.
    I'll give it I.M.
     
  29. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    4,227
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    Dec 6, 2000
    Wisconsin
    hahaha, these are so funny. Good thread!

    Q, DO
     
  30. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member 10+ Year Member

    1,614
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    Jul 25, 2003
    Winston Salem, NC
    "Krispy Kreme" units:
    So fat he can't aim his pee -
    Give him a foley.
     
  31. USCDiver

    USCDiver Percocet-R-US 10+ Year Member

    492
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    Aug 31, 2003
    Greensboro,NC
    My boy is crying!
    Tell me, is this your first child?
    He's ten days old, ma'am.
     
  32. USCDiver

    USCDiver Percocet-R-US 10+ Year Member

    492
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    Aug 31, 2003
    Greensboro,NC
    Inhale, wait, inhale
    Four breaths per minute, doctor!
    Give her some Narcan.
     
  33. docB

    docB Chronically painful Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor 10+ Year Member

    You are here again.
    There is nothing wrong with you.
    You are here again.
     
  34. eadysx

    eadysx Senior Member 10+ Year Member

    :laugh: :laugh: Well done, very well done. :laugh: :laugh:

    E-
     
  35. roja

    roja 7+ Year Member

    6,040
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    Oct 20, 2003
    NYC--->San Francisco




    Truely beautiful. Truly. *sniff*
     
  36. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    4,227
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    Dec 6, 2000
    Wisconsin
    Pain everywhere?
    What is your diagnosis?
    Fibromyalgia!

    Fibromyalgia?
    Is it end stage, dear doctor?
    Yes, discharge home now.

    Q, DO
     
  37. roja

    roja 7+ Year Member

    6,040
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    Oct 20, 2003
    NYC--->San Francisco


    They aren't working you hard enough, my friend.
     
  38. mikecwru

    mikecwru M.D. = Massive Debt 7+ Year Member

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    Oct 21, 2002
    Ohio
    Goddamned C-C-U
    Someone going in VT?
    No, just needs lasix


    1 more call

    mike
     
  39. trex92499

    trex92499 Senior Member 7+ Year Member

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    Jan 11, 2003
    The South Pole
    From the Psych ER:

    Have no place to stay?
    Ideation, Voices, Detox
    Hello, Psych Admission
     
  40. Apollyon

    Apollyon Screw the GST Lifetime Donor 10+ Year Member

    18,046
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    Nov 24, 2002
    SCREW IT!
    Physician
    5/7/5
     
  41. trex92499

    trex92499 Senior Member 7+ Year Member

    106
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    Jan 11, 2003
    The South Pole
    Sorry, a prolonged psych rotation has made me unable to count
     
  42. docB

    docB Chronically painful Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor 10+ Year Member

    You are hearby granted poetic license.
     
  43. dksamp

    dksamp Member 10+ Year Member

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    Oct 26, 2001
    Southeastern US
    ER
    God damn drug seeker
    All he wants is percocet
    There's no kidney stone

    Internal Medicine
    Elderly train wreck
    Nursing home is an option
    She is ninety-five

    Pediatrics
    Love that Zithromax
    Treat the parent not the child
    He has a virus

    Psych
    He has ADD
    Give him some amphetamines
    Teacher is happy

    Surgery
    Abdominal pain
    Johnny has decreased bowel sounds
    Let's operate now

    OB/GYN
    I have low back pain
    That is part of pregnancy
    Stat c-section now

    Foreign medical schools
    Med school is abroad
    Sacrifice is four years long
    Better pass your boards

    Radiology
    Normal x-Ray film
    But cannot rule out disease
    Suggest can scan now


    Enjoy :)
     
  44. DrQuinn

    DrQuinn My name is Neo Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    4,227
    10
    Dec 6, 2000
    Wisconsin
    :clap: :clap:

    Very nice.

    Q
     
  45. docB

    docB Chronically painful Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor 10+ Year Member

    You have smoked more crack.
    You know that you are pregnant.
    Don't you care at all?
     
  46. emedpa

    emedpa GlobalDoc 10+ Year Member

    6,014
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    Aug 25, 2001
    Taking an Away team....
    You Lost Your Script Dude
    How Is This My Problem Dude
    Call Your Clinic Doc
     
  47. Apollyon

    Apollyon Screw the GST Lifetime Donor 10+ Year Member

    18,046
    1,961
    Nov 24, 2002
    SCREW IT!
    Physician
    You - shot in the ass
    Quit asking for Percocet
    You'll get a couple
     
  48. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member 10+ Year Member

    1,614
    5
    Jul 25, 2003
    Winston Salem, NC
    Very nice.
     
  49. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member 10+ Year Member

    1,614
    5
    Jul 25, 2003
    Winston Salem, NC
    Soft Rule-out MI
    Enzymes times three, AM Stress
    Then you're out the door
     
  50. Seaglass

    Seaglass Quantum Member 10+ Year Member

    1,614
    5
    Jul 25, 2003
    Winston Salem, NC
  51. Apollyon

    Apollyon Screw the GST Lifetime Donor 10+ Year Member

    18,046
    1,961
    Nov 24, 2002
    SCREW IT!
    Physician
    Worked hard (more or less)
    Scumbags, fossils, and dealers.
    Time for some good porn!
     

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