Bad/Corny Dental Jokes

numbered for no reason

1. Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams? Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock golf game.

2. Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: $90.00. Patient: $90.00 for just a few minutes work??? Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.


top ten signs you need to change dentists:
10: Directions to the office include: "Turn Onto The Dirt Road."
9: Your dentist is wearing a pair of pants you gave to the Salvation Army last month.

8: Your dentist giggles uncontrollably whenever he hears the words "That Hurts!"

7: All the front keys on your dentist's personal computer are rotted out.

6: Dental diploma appears to be a warranty from "Black and Decker."

5: Number #1 on the patient questionnaire is: "Have you ever pressed charges?"

4: When giving nitrous the patient is assured, "Don't Worry, I Just Tried Some Myself."

3: When giving a local injection you hear: "Gosh, let's all do a shot!"

2: Your Christmas bonus includes a free subscription to "Living Cheap Magazine."

And The Number "One" Sign Is:

1: Your retirement plan includes a free seed catalog and instructions on how to grow your own food.


WARNING! dirty jokes, kudos to nursinghumor.com:

1.A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which said on the front: Let me put my tool in your mouth... and on the back: ...and I will fill your cavity.

2.A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves...
"Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"

She said, "No?"

"Well," he spoofed, "down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers are all picked according to hand size.

Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in, and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up and dries right onto their hands!

Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods Crate' and start the process all over again."

But she didn't laugh a bit!!! Five minutes later, during the procedure, he suddenly had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing.

The old woman blushed and exclaimed, "I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms!"

3.One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.

The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear:

"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

oh yeah, i'm definitely aiming to add on to my list of baaad dental jokes:

4. A carpenter, an electrician, and a dentist had a mutual friend
who was getting married and each was determined to play a
practical joke on the newlyweds.

The electrician decided to wire up the marriage bed so that when
the two bodies touched, they got an electrical shock. The
carpenter planned to saw partly through the bed frame so that it
would collapse when the shocked newlyweds jumped apart.

As the wedding approached, the dentist was still scratching his
head and trying to come up with something.

After the honeymoon, the new husband confronted his three friends
and said, "I didn't mind to much when we got zapped, and we both
had a good laugh when the bed fell down. But who the hell put
novicaine in the vaseline?"


5. A man picks up a girl in a party. They proceed to her place and
things are starting to heat up. He takes his shirt off and washes
his hands. He takes his pants off and washes hands again.

So the girl tells him: "I bet you're a dentist."

Surprised he says: "that's correct, how did you know?"

"You washed your hands a few times, so I figured you're used to
it." They go on and they have sex.

Then she says: "you know what? I'm willing to bet you're a very
good dentist."

"How can you tell?" he asks.

"I didn't feel a thing..."

kudos to www.offthechart.com
cutest. calendar. ever.

musiq said:

3.One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.

The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear:

"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?

This was a good Joke. Lovin' it

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