Sorry Jay, this might make you mad, but I laughed reading this...
---------
HEADLINE: For UMDNJ, a name with a bite: Tony Soprano University
BYLINE: MIKE KELLY, North Jersey Media Group
BODY:
MAYBE IT'S TIME for the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey to get a new name. How about Tony Soprano University?
Or, as that endearing Soprano linguist, Paulie Walnuts, might put it: "TSU. It rhymes wit sue as in 'sue me, sue you'."
I know what you are thinking: Too glib. Plus all those medical school alums may flinch and pinch on their contributions if the name is changed.
Not to worry.
TSU is a lot less of a mouthful than UMDNJ. Plus, Soprano U fits the indelible image that the state's medical school seems to crave. Where else but New Jersey would top medical school administrators John Petillo and Robert Saporito actually sit down for dinner with a convicted health-care racketeer whose former business partner reportedly had mob ties?
Petillo, a former Catholic priest, and Saporito, a dentist, have since resigned ? thankfully. But what could their dinner conversations have been like with this mob-linked racketeer?
Did they compare notes on how to chop up dead bodies ? the surgical, scalpel technique versus the chain saw? Did they exchange tips on avoiding subpoenas from nagging federal prosecutors? Or was this just a friendly get-together over martinis ? you know, just a bunch of Jersey guys, talking business, golf and the latest "Sopranos" episode?
Ah, the Garden State. Medicine and the mob, perfect together, right?
In New Jersey, you don't need to watch "The Sopranos" to understand the all-too-common link between organized crime and normal life and business. All you have to do is keep an eye on the people who teach medicine or perform cancer research.
The steady stream of revelations about UMDNJ's inner workings and finances continued last week with the release of a report by a federal monitor ? with one of the most startling revelations involving those clueless administrators, Petillo and Saporito.
Using UMDNJ expense accounts, Saporito went to dinner three times ? once with Petillo along with Louis Garruto, who was convicted in 1985 of defrauding drug firms in New York. In the 1990s, the N.J. State Commission of Investigation found that Garruto's partner in a firm that did business with Passaic County was linked to the Lucchese crime family.
Petillo told The Record he did not know of Garruto's criminal background when he went to dinner with him. He also said Garruto never made a business pitch at the dinners. So why were the meals charged to UMDNJ expense accounts?
Besides those questionable expenses, the report also described a political patronage rating system for UMDNJ job applicants that makes the points system of judging in boxing bouts actually seem fair.
The UMDNJ system worked this way: If you applied for a job in the sprawling university system, you were assigned a code number. This number was not linked in any way to your talent. Remember: This is Soprano U.
The number corresponded to the strength of your political ties. So, if you knew the governor, a U.S. senator, or a top state legislator, you might get a "1." For example, the report said those applicants who knew Rep. Robert Menendez, now a U.S. senator, got a "1." But if your best political link was, say, a former public works official from dinky Teterboro, you might get only a "3" ? and probably not get hired.
Needless to say, UMDNJ's workforce became populated with political hacks. And when contracts were awarded, politics came first, not talent.
This is how our wonderful state was training its doctors and dentists. Could things get any more sleazy?
Of course!
Consider, again, the expense account of Robert Saporito.
The report detailed two dozen "suspicious" expenses by Saporito, totaling nearly $9,000. These included hotel rooms Saporito claimed he needed when meetings ran late at the Newark campus and he didn't want to drive back home to Brick Township. Investigators found that Saporito often checked into hotels before 8 p.m. Once, he checked in before 10 a.m. On another occasion, he charged a hotel room to his UMDNJ account when he went to a Giants game.
The report also found that Saporito did not always pay attention to UMDNJ policy that requires workers to choose only cheap compacts if they rented a car for business. The report described Saporito billing his UMDNJ expense account for an Alfa Romeo sports car on one trip, a Cadillac DeVille on another.
"While the monetary effect may not be significant, Saporito's attitude of entitlement is entirely inappropriate," the report said. It added that Saporito "appeared, on many occasions, to violate every public entity's edict of spending money prudently."
By the way, Saporito made $450,000 last year in salary and bonuses.
UMDNJ's interim president, Dr. Bruce Vladeck, who replaced the pathetic Petillo a month ago, called the report comprehensive and pledged to transform the medical school into a model public university that New Jersey can be proud of.
"We have our work cut out for us," Vladeck said in a statement.
Maybe he should start by changing the school's name.
At least, Tony would be proud.
Mike Kelly is a Record columnist. Contact him at
[email protected]. Send comments about this column to The Record at
[email protected].