Words of Wisdom for the New Resident

On your residency experience . . .

Enjoy your residency years—you will remember them fondly when they're over.
Value your relationships with fellow residents—they will be your friends for life.
Get to know your faculty—many are in academic ophthalmology because of you.
You are your program's greatest asset—find ways to make it better.
Be thankful for the opportunity to learn and practice —not everyone who wants to can.
Strive for excellence in everything you do

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On patient care . . .

Always put the patient's interests first.
Remember that the eyes are connected to a person.
Patients will value what you tell them—think before you speak.
Educate your patients about their eye problems—even if you cannot treat, you can enlighten.
If you are debating about whether or not to see a patient, see him.
Don't leave the last patient for someone else.
Mistakes and complications will occur—learn from them and commit to improve.
Do sweat the small stuff—little things can become big.

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On learning . . .

Assume responsibility for your own learning— be active in your quest for knowledge.
Be enthusiastic—your eagerness to learn will influence your resident and faculty colleagues.
Common things occur commonly—master the fundamentals.
Link learning to patient care—you're more likely to retain what you learn.
Seize the learning moment—you really can learn something from every patient you see.
Read extensively—commit to reading ophthalmology every night.
Be open to new ideas and think "outside the box"—there are many unanswered questions.

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On resident behavior . . .

Remember the Golden Rule: treat others as you would like to be treated.
Respect and value all members of the health care team—everyone contributes.
Develop your talents and share them with others—in giving you will receive.
Listen to and learn from others—you don't have all the answers.
Reflect on your own performance—recognize your deficiencies and improve.
Refrain from gossip—if you have a problem, address it directly.
Criticism alone is not the answer—be a problem solver.
Be on time—first impressions are important.

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On leadership . . .

Lead by example—you really can make a difference.
Emphasize teamwork—the whole is better than the individual parts.
And remember, true leaders make the others around them better.

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Obedeli said:

I thought I would edit this most serene and boring quote with my own thoughts.

On residency experience . . .
Try to forget it as soon as possible. Unless remembering the experience will make you feel better about being in jail for indecent exposure.
You are a slave, the mule of an academic hospital; learn to live with it and painfully except it.
Seek areas of weekly free food: tumor boards, noon conferences with unguarded catered tables, remember them and their location. Act like you belong there and then quickly answer a phantom page. If you must sign in, sign in illegible manner, easily accomplished.
Sometimes looking forward to food is all you have to keep you going.


On patient care . . .
Put your patient's needs first, unless they are too much.
Remember that the ass is connected to the patient and a swift kick is required to get the patient out of the hospital.
Patient's will mostly ignore and convolute what you tell them, so why speak?
Educate your patients about health problems, if they don't listen to you; send them to a reeducation camp. They will thank you.
If you are debating about seeing a patient or not, stop debating with yourself and take some haldol. It will be okay... really.
Leave the last patient for someone else, especially if it's that prick who keeps calling in coverage.
Mistakes will occur, find ways to spread blame and then disappear. Nobody's perfect.
Vitals ARE vital, so you don't need to bother looking at them, you can rely on nurses to tell you if they are important.
Avoid clinic and rejoice when patient's don't show up, unless you read about them in the paper.



On Learning . . .
Assume nothing, you know the old saying about assuming
Be enthusiastic to the right people, otherwise over eagerness will piss off everybody.
Common things are common, for me, diabetic muscle infarction is common and you must look for it in everyone!
Be open to new ideas and think "outside of the box." While you are at it, add "proactive", “paradigm" and "empower" to your vocabulary to really hone in on sounding like a tool.


On resident behavior . . .
Remember the golden rule: whoever dies with the most gold, wins!
Respect and value only those who can affect your future, screw the rest!
Develop your talents and share them with others—baton twirling and fire eating may be difficult in the ward setting but highly appreciated and unexpected.
Reflect on your own performance: was it the Michael Jackson crotch grab that baffled your attending?
Refrain from gossip—except did you hear that Dr. Smith is a monogamist!
Criticism alone is not the answer—but fun!
Be on time—first impressions are important. A Flava Flav clock necklace will help keep you on time.

On leadership . . .

Lead by example—you really can make a difference . . . if you are president of the freaking world! Otherwise just accept that they are not going to give you any more free coffee cards!
Emphasize teamwork—the whole is better than the individual parts. As spock said, the needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few.
And remember, true leaders make the others around them better. If you believe that, you are one pompous, schmuck!

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nyresident said:

Obedeli,

Simply brilliant.

nyresident.

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Faebinder said:

Hmmm.. so ophthamology residents have a weird happy life style?

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Obedeli said:

Seek areas of weekly free food: tumor boards, noon conferences with unguarded catered tables, remember them and their location. Sometimes looking forward to food is all you have to keep you going.

Click to expand...

Obedeli said:

bump...

I thought my counter to the original post could be a benefit to the new interns.

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Obedeli said:

I thought I would edit this most serene and boring quote with my own thoughts.

On residency experience . . .
Try to forget it as soon as possible. Unless remembering the experience will make you feel better about being in jail for indecent exposure.
You are a slave, the mule of an academic hospital; learn to live with it and painfully accept it.
Seek areas of weekly free food: tumor boards, noon conferences with unguarded catered tables, remember them and their location. Act like you belong there and then quickly answer a phantom page. If you must sign in, sign in an illegible manner, easily accomplished.
Sometimes looking forward to food is all you have to keep you going.


On patient care . . .
Put your patient's needs first, unless they are too much.
Remember that the ass is connected to the person and a swift kick is required to get the patient out of the hospital.
Patients will mostly ignore and convolute what you tell them, so why speak?
Educate your patients about health problems, if they don't listen to you; send them to a reeducation camp. They will thank you.
If you are debating about seeing a patient or not, stop debating with yourself and take some haldol. It will be okay... really.
Don't leave the last patient for someone else, UNLESS it's that prick who keeps calling in coverage.
Mistakes will occur, find ways to spread blame and then disappear. Nobody's perfect.
Vitals ARE vital, so you don't need to bother looking at them, you can rely on nurses to tell you if they are important.
Avoid clinic and rejoice when patients don't show up, that is until you read about them in the paper the next day.



On Learning . . .
Assume nothing, you know the old saying about assuming
Be enthusiastic to the right people, otherwise over eagerness will piss off everybody.
Common things are common, for me, diabetic muscle infarction is common and you must look for it in everyone!
Be open to new ideas and think "outside of the box." While you are at it, add "proactive", "paradigm" and "empower" to your vocabulary to really hone in on sounding like a tool.


On resident behavior . . .
Remember the golden rule: whoever dies with the most gold, wins!
Respect and value only those who can affect your future, screw the rest!
Develop your talents and share them with others—baton twirling and fire eating may be difficult in the ward setting but highly appreciated and unexpected.
Listen to and learn from others—you don't have all the answers. But make fun of that resident with all the freaking questions. Sheesh! Who's HE trying to impress?!
Reflect on your own performance: was it the Michael Jackson crotch grab that baffled your attending?
Refrain from gossip—except did you hear that Dr. Smith is a monogamist!
Criticism alone is not the answer—but fun!
Be on time—first impressions are important. A Flava Flav clock necklace will help keep you on time.

On leadership . . .

Lead by example—you really can make a difference . . . if you are president of the freaking world! Otherwise just accept that they are not going to give you any more free coffee cards for early discharges no matter how much you cry.
Emphasize teamwork—the whole is better than the individual parts. As spock said, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
And remember, true leaders make the others around them better. If you believe that, you are one pompous schmuck!

Click to expand...

Long Dong said:

The funniest thing I've ever read on sdn.

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Bubb Rubb said:

bump for a most quality sendup.

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