Advice Please.

Kthrnortega said:

Hi. I'm new to this site so please bare with me. I'm 27 years old and married with children. I will be starting college at a four year private college in September for the fall semester. Ever since I was young, I have always wanted to be a Dr. and I really can't see myself doing anything else. I love to take care of people and I'm just overall interested in the human body and how it works. The issue I'm having is knowing whether or not if Medical school and residency is doable while having family. I really want to eventually go to medical school and be a Dr., however at the same time, I don't want to miss soo much time with my family. I have considered going the Nurse Practitioner route because I feel that it would be the next best thing, however, I'm really not that interested in Nursing. I do have experience working for 4 years a CNA and now I work in a group home caring for developmentally disabled and mentally ill adults. I think I have a decent background of work experience which could be a plus if were to get into either a Nursing career or being a Physician. Which career sounds more realistic while raising a family. My husband is very supportive of either choice I make. I just don't want to be in over my head. I do realize both careers would take a lot of work and studying. I would appreciate any advice. Thank you.

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Hey and welcome to SDN!😀 Medicine is a large commitment, mentally, physically, and emotionally. You have to decide if it's worth 4 years of undergraduate school (while maintaining about a 3.5gpa, volunteering, shadowing) while you're working.

Then, you must dedicate the time to study for the MCAT, which normally should be 3-6 months. Following that, you'll have to select schools which you want to apply to. This will cause you to look at the possibility of re-location based on where you were accepted.

So you made it to med school. Now comes 4 more years of studying, but about the body (which you're obviously interested in or otherwise you wouldn't be here lol). I've read that it's the equivalent of a full time job. 40hrs+ of studying/week.

So you've finished med school. Now what? Now you choose what type of medicine you'd like to go into, pediatrics, neurology, or whatever have you. This can take from 3 years up to 6 or 7. All while trying to help maintain your family. Are there going to be birthdays missed? More than likely. Could it put a strain on your marriage with how much work is involved? That's a possibility too. In the end, you have to decide if that's all worth it. Hopefully geekchick responds to your thread. I believe she had a baby while in med school, or something to that extent.

Anywho, good luck on your decision!🙂

Anything is doable if you are dedicated. Get your RN so you can work a couple of 12's a week while you continue to pursue your MD. That's what I'd do anyhow, good luck. Also, school is way cheaper if you do the first two years at a community college and then get your degree from a public school.

What school are you attending if you don't mind me asking?

Becoming a doctor would be incredibly difficult. Should you be able to do it, I would be incredibly impressed; and I don't say that... ever.

You are in for 4 years of schooling as an undergrad. Nothing is guaranteed. You must maintain a high GPA. 3.75 and above to be relatively safe for an allopathic school. Then you must get a good MCAT score. Some people study very hard for the MCAT and simply do not score high enough to be accepted to an allopathic medical school. This is a sad reality.

Say you are accepted to an allopathic school after spending the past 4 years studying, volunteering, and shadowing physicians while trying to raise your family at the same time. Now your kids will be around 5 years old(if they are 1 year old now), i'm guessing. You are now in for 4 more years of studying. Probably more difficult than undergrad.

Fast forward 4 years, you've completed medical school. Now you apply to residency programs. Your children are around 10 years old. You are accepted to a 4 year residency program, say, in internal medicine. 80-hour weeks are not unheard of as a resident. That leaves, some weeks, about 11 hours of off time per day, not including sleep. Finally, you complete residency and pass your board exams. Your children are now 14 years old (assuming they are 1-year-olds right now).

You will be studying and working as your children grow. Your children will be raised by your husband. It is doable. It will also be incredibly difficult.

Like others have said, having a family while in medical school and residency is difficult, especially for women. My mentor and the physician I shadowed is a single mom with four kids, the first she had immediately after med school graduation. And she is very successful and happy. Her life is indeed hectic though. With a supportive partner it's a lot easier for sure. I'm planning on having my first kid while in medical school. As a lot of folks say, there's really no good time to have kids, so I'm just going to go for it!

Here are a couple links that are very applicable to mothers in medicine and medical school:

Mommd.com: a group of committed moms who write about navigating the whole process with kids

Mom's Tinfoil Hat: A funny blog from a hippie mom who does it all!

Mothers in Medicine: A great team blog that tackles everything from sick days to stay at home dads from many awesome perspectives and represented specialties.

I have a close friend who always used to be very competitive and passionate about medicine but she recently got engaged and changed her mind. She wants to spend time with her future husband and kids and honestly, that's difficult to do when you're a full time mommy doctor, especially during training. Think about it seriously. Good advice I've heard is, if you can easily see yourself doing something else, do that. Going the NP or RN route gets you medical experience but you'll also be able to see your kids' first steps, etc. A lot of mommy docs miss stuff like that. Good luck!

It is a huge commitment, but it can be done. Also try mommd.com in addition to the nontraditional forum here. It is important to have a supportive and understanding spouse.

It is doable as long as you have the drive to keep going even if it doesn't seem possible.