A funny story

[DVMDream]

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I figured I would tell a funny story about one of my experiences dealing with a client to give everyone a good laugh. It was a slightly busy day when a client walked into the client to drop off a fecal sample. One of the kennel girls went up front and not knowing what to do took the sample from her and then let her leave. I had very little information to figure out who this client was but fortunately I was able to find her in the system. I then looked through to see if the client had paid for the fecal floatation. At our clinic we will do free fecal floatations for new pets but after 30 days the offer expires. The rescue group will no longer reimburse us for the floatation. So I realized it had been over 3 months since this client had her kitten in so I called her and told her that we would have to charge her because the free fecal floatation expires after 30 days and it had been 3 months. The lady was mad. She thought I was just going to charge her. I told her that we would not charge her and if she wanted us to run the test she would have to come in and pay for it or we could take a payment over the phone. She then started saying that we still have her coupon for the fecal floatation and that she didn't remember seeing that it was only good for 30 days. Then she said I don't want you to run the test I will come pick it up soon. I figured she was talking about the coupon to see if there really was a 30 day limit. Well, as a clinic we don't keep these things. We are completely paperless so we immediately scan things into our computer system and give all papers back to the client. I decided to call her back to let her know we don't have the coupon so she isn't waisting her time to come all the back to the clinic to find out we don't have it. Her response was, "I don't want the coupon, it is expired, it won't do me any good, I was going to come in and pick up my cat's poop, but nevermind I don't want it either." We all got a good laugh out of that. In the end, she called back about 5 more times and kept changing her mind. She finally ended up running the fecal float after all. If anyone else has some funny stories or any story share it. It gives us something to read while doing the application process. Good Luck to all applying!!

 

[NOPOLES]

Aww, poor lady. She was probably confused and tormented. She wants the test done for her cat, but couldn't afford to pay for it. I'm glad she decided to have the test done after all 🙂 they are never cheap. I just paid for one of my dog's annual fecal test and it was a whopping $90.

 

[aprilm]

I just paid for one of my dog's annual fecal test and it was a whopping $90.

😱 For just a float?!

 

[david594]

Hopefully not just a float.

For that kind of money I would expect at least a centrifuged sample + giardia antigen. But that still seems rediculous.

That even blows away local VC@'s $53 send out fecals.

 

[TSUJC]

I just paid for one of my dog's annual fecal test and it was a whopping $90.

That is just WRONG!

I work in the diagnostic parasitology lab at Texas A&M and we charge under 40.00. Our fecals include: float, sedimentation, direct and centrifuge!

(we don't think the Giardia antigen test is worth the money, a fresh sample or a little zinc will show you all you need to see! Not to mention that the presence of antigen doesn't equal clinical disease...so whats the point?)

At our clinic we will do free fecal floatations for new pets but after 30 days the offer expires.

Very cool!👍

 

[Minnerbelle]

If anyone else has some funny stories or any story share it. It gives us something to read while doing the application process. Good Luck to all applying!!

Oh man, I have so many funny stories I'm dying to share! People around me are totally sick of hearing them so I'm glad you asked!

The ones that come to mind off the top of my head are all wildlife related, but I'll add on later if I can think of funny shelter med stories.

• Some guy called the emergency wildlife hotline during my shift and told me that he works at a golf course and thinks there's an owl that needs to be rescued. I asked what the problem was, and he tells me that it's a huge owl that was just sitting on the course without moving for a long time. So I told him to get a big box and put it over the owl to contain him and we'll go from there. He responded that he doesn't have a big enough box... Puzzled, I ask how big the owl was, and he answered 4 feet tall! I told him I'm pretty sure no such owl species exist, and he got all mad and told him that he knows what owls look like, and he knows one when he sees one. When I asked him to actually go look at the bird and describe the bird in detail, he looked out the window and told me he was gone... Still dunno what ever it was that the guy saw to this day.

• Similar story. Some woman called and told me there was a mountain lion in the parking lot of an Olive Gardens, and the whole restaurant was in a panic. Her description sounded pretty accurate, but I was pretty sure a mountain lion wouldn't really go into a busy parking lot... so I asked her to hand the phone over to the restaurant manager. The manager told me it was a big alley cat that liked to hang out in the parking lot everyday, and a table of crazy ladies went psychotic when they saw the cat dash across the parking lot and called me. They did tell me it was a huge muscular cat (5 feet from head to butt with a sturdy and long tail about 4 ft long).

• Now getting to the really awesome stories. Some lady was caught with a pet bobcat, and was told by the sheriff that if she didn't hand the bobcat to our center, then they would have to euthanize the animal. So she reluctantly decided to bring the bobcat in. This ditsy lady shows up with a giant blingy purse with a FULL GROWN bobcat sitting in it with her head sticking out, and goes "Her name is Coco!"

• A lady calls me and tells me that some deer were eating the plants in her garden, and wanted us to go and catch them all. I told her we couldn't do that, but I can give her repel techniques. She started yelling at me and telling me how she already tried all these damn repel techniques and it doesn't work. I told her then that if the garden meant so much to her, then maybe she should put a high deer proof fence around her property. Then she got furious and told me she lived in a huge estate and that was not feasible. I told her we still can't go and catch the multiple herds of deer that go and eat her plants. She yells, "Isn't this kind of irresponsible!? I mean what kind of organization do you run!? I spend thousands of dollars on my garden a year! Who's going to pay for that? Are YOU going to pay for my flowers!?"

• Some guy calls me and tells me that there's a rattle snake on his driveway and he wants me to go pick it up. I told him that was impossible because snakes don't stay in the same place for very long, that in fact he was probably already gone. He assures me that the snake is still there and demands that I go and pick the snake up because he has children. I told him to just keep his children inside for now, and don't let them out unsupervised, and told him some repel techniques to keep snakes away. I told him that it really would be impossible for anyone to catch the snake when we need to travel an hour to get there, nor do we go and ever catch up healthy wildlife because our job is to take care of injured and orphaned wildlife. Then he goes "Well the rattler ain't healthy for sure, I shot him. He's dead"

• Apparently some lady had found a new born fawn and took the poor thing home. She got attached and started keeping the fawn as a pet. It got to the point where she realized after a month that she couldn't keep the animal forever, and brought the fawn in hysterically in tears. The husband was the one that had to hand the fawn over to me because the wife was really losing it. The fawn had on a diamond studded collar... I took the fawn in my arms and decided to take him inside away from these people before I processed their paperwork and give them back the collar. As I'm trying to walk into the clinic, the wife is wailing and reaching out from inside the car trying to give the poor fawn's hooves one last tug. The husband follows me and goes "oh wait, I have his bottle. I need to give you his bottle!" I told him we have plenty so that's not necessary. He insisted though, and went back to the car and brought back a beer bottle with a nipple on it...

 

[Trilt]

Now getting to the really awesome stories. Some lady was caught with a pet bobcat, and was told by the sheriff that if she didn't hand the bobcat to our center, then they would have to euthanize the animal. So she reluctantly decided to bring the bobcat in. This ditsy lady shows up with a giant blingy purse with a FULL GROWN bobcat sitting in it with her head sticking out, and goes "Her name is Coco!"

😱

(Actually, what do you do with an animal who has been raised as a pet like that? Education animal?)

 

[HeartSong]

Aww, wildlife stories are the best!

We have tons of people around here that have pet bobcats (most have no clue that it's illegal). I had a person call in about two baby buzzards that had fallen out of the attic of an old abandon house. He was fine with my advice to try to put them back up near their nest and went on to tell me that he had lots of experience with wild animals and even had two bobcats as house cats.

When I was on Radiology, someone was going to have their pet panther/ bobcat mix radiographed (don't remember why since it wasn't my case). When it was brought in, it turned out to be a 😱 ... cat. Regular, everyday DSH cat. Mmmhmm.

A lady brought in an adult Turkey Vulture that she has saved from being eaten by a coyote. It had a broken wing and she caught it with nothing but a towel. When we asked if we could keep the towel to restrain it until we got it back to a cage, she said she wanted the towel back because it was one of her really good ones. Yuck.

Someone was concerned about his wolf hybrid because it had two sets of balls. One set in the normal position and one set further up next to the penis. 😀 I'm sure that happens with regular dog owners too.

 

[DVMDream]

Aww, poor lady. She was probably confused and tormented. She wants the test done for her cat, but couldn't afford to pay for it. I'm glad she decided to have the test done after all 🙂 they are never cheap. I just paid for one of my dog's annual fecal test and it was a whopping $90.

I really hope that wasn't just a float. Ours cost around $32 for the float. I did feel bad though because lately nobody really has the money with the economy the way it is. I just thought it was funny that she actually wanted her cat's poop back. 😱 Gross. You can get more out of the litterbox if you really want some.

 

[david594]

When I was on Radiology, someone was going to have their pet panther/ bobcat mix radiographed (don't remember why since it wasn't my case). When it was brought in, it turned out to be a 😱 ... cat. Regular, everyday DSH cat. Mmmhmm.

At my current job we have had a Black Panther and a Serval in to be neutered over the course of the last year. 😀 Both 100% real.

 

[1Vista1Grey]

I just paid for one of my dog's annual fecal test and it was a whopping $90.

Pshh.. for that price.. Id find a microscope and jsut do it myself.. no effing way would I pay that much for a fecal, regardless of how much extra was included.. They cost like 2 cents to run.. talk about marking up prices.

As far as a good story, we had some guy bring in his pet raccoon into our sanctuary to give surrender him. He walks into the clinic with the raccoon sitting on his shoulder. After a couple of minutes the raccoon starts to freak out and climbs on top of his bald head and holds on for dear life (looked like a Davey Crocket hat) and then bites him on his shiny scalp... I had a hard time feeling bad for the guy...

 

[rileyroo]

Apparently some lady had found a new born fawn and took the poor thing home. She got attached and started keeping the fawn as a pet. It got to the point where she realized after a month that she couldn't keep the animal forever, and brought the fawn in hysterically in tears. The husband was the one that had to hand the fawn over to me because the wife was really losing it. The fawn had on a diamond studded collar... I took the fawn in my arms and decided to take him inside away from these people before I processed their paperwork and give them back the collar. As I'm trying to walk into the clinic, the wife is wailing and reaching out from inside the car trying to give the poor fawn's hooves one last tug. The husband follows me and goes "oh wait, I have his bottle. I need to give you his bottle!" I told him we have plenty so that's not necessary. He insisted though, and went back to the car and brought back a beer bottle with a nipple on it...

this is too much, i would've lost it!!!

 

[aspiringDVM]

and went back to the car and brought back a beer bottle with a nipple on it...

When I was raising orphan kids I always used a specific type of root beer bottle that closely resembled beer bottles. Of course, no one could go near the pen while drinking a beer without them going totally crazy 😀 No, my goats aren't actually alcoholic, they think you're getting ready to bottle feed them.

 

[CatVet2Be]

We recently had a lady call us to ask if we would declaw the fully grown feral cat she trapped inside her house so it wouldn't scratch her while she tried to domesticate it.

 

[HeartSong]

We recently had a lady call us to ask if we would declaw the fully grown feral cat she trapped inside her house so it wouldn't scratch her while she tried to domesticate it.

Ooo, ooo, could you reclaw it once she was done since it would be so well trained and gentle in the end? 😉

 

[ImaJerseyGirl]

Love the fawn and beer bottle!

Have my own poop story too.😀

Please ask me for the legendary poop story... decided to remove from public forum.

 

[Poochlover11]

After a couple of minutes the raccoon starts to freak out and climbs on top of his bald head and holds on for dear life (looked like a Davey Crocket hat) QUOTE]

HAHA! I laughed so hard when I read that!

 

[twelvetigers]

I liked the poop sponge story. 😀

 

[DVMDream]

Ok, since everyone is starting to get nervous about interviews and acceptance/rejections and since we still have a few months left before we start hearing anything I figured I would tell another funny story. If anyone else has a funny story they would like to share jump in. Hopefully, this can distract us a little from those interviews and such.

Anal Gland Story:

I was holding a dog while another technician was expressing the dog’s anal glands. At the same time the other technician started expressing the anal glands one of the vets walked behind her, eating a chocolate bar. All of a sudden, I got a good smell of the chocolate and said, “Mmmm. Smells like chocolate.” The technician expressing the anal glands had the most disgusted look on her face. She said, “You did NOT just compare anal glands to chocolate.”

 

[Perfbird]

Someone was concerned about his wolf hybrid because it had two sets of balls. One set in the normal position and one set further up next to the penis. 😀 I'm sure that happens with regular dog owners too.

This might be a really idiotic question, but what makes this funny (I don't mean that it isn't funny, but I don't understand what about the story is unique)? The part that the dog was a wolf hybrid, or because the dog had 4 balls? Or am I just totally missing the point here? (May very well be, lol!) 😕 Sorry, I have tried to think of why a person might think a male dog had 4 balls instead of 2, but I can't think of anything anatomically.

 

[TrocarKarin]

This might be a really idiotic question, but what makes this funny (I don't mean that it isn't funny, but I don't understand what about the story is unique)? The part that the dog was a wolf hybrid, or because the dog had 4 balls? Or am I just totally missing the point here? (May very well be, lol!) 😕 Sorry, I have tried to think of why a person might think a male dog had 4 balls instead of 2, but I can't think of anything anatomically.

I'm pretty sure they're referring to the bulbus glandis

 

[Chill1818]

This might be a really idiotic question, but what makes this funny (I don't mean that it isn't funny, but I don't understand what about the story is unique)? The part that the dog was a wolf hybrid, or because the dog had 4 balls? Or am I just totally missing the point here? (May very well be, lol!) 😕 Sorry, I have tried to think of why a person might think a male dog had 4 balls instead of 2, but I can't think of anything anatomically.

Most owners are unaware of the bulbus glandis on the penis and will often times confuse it for an extra set of testicles or even think the testicles were moved as part of the castration process. It's always a fun one to explain

 

[causticus]

Texas A&M

Are you in the hospital, or is that TVMDL? Hospitals are cost-to-client, state labs are cost-to-vet. Huuuuge difference. I used to work at TVMDL, then came to a hospital lab. After getting used to state lab prices, I saw what the hospital was charging and did a 😱

 

[HopefulAg]

At my current job we have had a Black Panther and a Serval in to be neutered over the course of the last year. 😀 Both 100% real.

We had a Serval come in once. Was beyond awesome.



I have two that stick out to me:

• The first one was on a rare calm day where I had little to do, so I was applying what I was learning in Ochem to the field because...I was that bored. Anyhow, I was trying to draw out the structure for Chlorpheniramine and was using the skeletal structure. I had the benzene ring, the Amine group, and the chlorine in what I thought were the correct locations (looked it up later and I was completely wrong lol) and then finally, a client! The receptionist kind of springs her on me so I just push the napkin I was doodling on off to the side and start checking her in and taking history. Throughout the history taking I couldn't help but notice the client was eyeing the napkin repeatedly and eventually, with a sightly tremulous voice, goes "Excuse me but....are, are those gang signs?!"
• Again, I'm in an empty room, this time looking at the preserved heartworm heart and then reception brings a client into the room, so I put the jar down and start taking history. The mother is looking skeptically at the jar that her son has now procured. The boy is fascinated with it and who can blame him? Well he asked his mom if it was real and she smiled and said 'no, I don't think so'. I told them it actually was real and was about to go into the 'this is why we like to keep them on heart worm preventatives' spiel when the mom blurts "Oh my god! Did the dog survive?!"

 

[DVMDream]

We had a Serval come in once. Was beyond awesome.



I have two that stick out to me:

• The first one was on a rare calm day where I had little to do, so I was applying what I was learning in Ochem to the field because...I was that bored. Anyhow, I was trying to draw out the structure for Chlorpheniramine and was using the skeletal structure. I had the benzene ring, the Amine group, and the chlorine in what I thought were the correct locations (looked it up later and I was completely wrong lol) and then finally, a client! The receptionist kind of springs her on me so I just push the napkin I was doodling on off to the side and start checking her in and taking history. Throughout the history taking I couldn't help but notice the client was eyeing the napkin repeatedly and eventually, with a sightly tremulous voice, goes "Excuse me but....are, are those gang signs?!"
• Again, I'm in an empty room, this time looking at the preserved heartworm heart and then reception brings a client into the room, so I put the jar down and start taking history. The mother is looking skeptically at the jar that her son has now procured. The boy is fascinated with it and who can blame him? Well he asked his mom if it was real and she smiled and said 'no, I don't think so'. I told them it actually was real and was about to go into the 'this is why we like to keep them on heart worm preventatives' spiel when the mom goes "Oh my god! Did...did the dog survive?!"

Gang signs? Sometimes ochem can seem that way.

 

[causticus]

I just want to say that i heart this thread. It has done wonders for my stress level. Keep it coming!

To contribute... I'm a career lab rat, so most of my silly stories come from vets (or more often, techs) filling out submittal forms for diagnostic samples. Some of the things they would write for the "history" section were pretty hilarious.

For example, people would always write "puss" instead of "pus." So we'd get a "puss in a syringe," etc. I mean I know cats are flexible and all, but I think that really pushes the limit.

We also had a VET that once (and I want to stress that I am absolutely not joking) sent us his own MOTHER'S urine for bacterial culture. Another vet sent us his wife's poop (still not joking!). This actually happened more often than you would believe. Once, we got a sample that we were 95% sure was actually taken from the vet himself. We called to ask what the species of the animal was, because he had left it blank on the form. He said it was from "a primate," and when we told him that we didn't take samples from non-human primates for safety reasons, he said, "it's not from a non-human primate..." 😱

And my all-time favorite, from a history: "Owner found dead in cage"

 

[causticus]

Gang Signs and Heartless Hound

I am laughing so hard!! I think these two are the best yet.

 

[sofficat]

• Again, I'm in an empty room, this time looking at the preserved heartworm heart and then reception brings a client into the room, so I put the jar down and start taking history. The mother is looking skeptically at the jar that her son has now procured. The boy is fascinated with it and who can blame him? Well he asked his mom if it was real and she smiled and said 'no, I don't think so'. I told them it actually was real and was about to go into the 'this is why we like to keep them on heart worm preventatives' spiel when the mom blurts "Oh my god! Did the dog survive?!"

Yes- the dog survived. It took a lot to remove those nasty worms, like, removal of an whole organ, but the dog recovered just fine without his heart.

I was standing in front of the repro booth at the fair and we had a fetus in a jar. People's reactions are interesting. A lot of people think it's a baby (not a fetus)... it was a cow in a pickle jar, most cows aren't born weighing 4 pounds, but then again how would you know that if you never learned it? Anyways, someone asked me when it was going to be born- as in- born out of the jar. Hmmmm.... fermaldehyde usually isn't a good growth agent... neither is lack of oxygen.

 

[Perfbird]

Oh, thanks for explaining. I never thought they would be large enough to confuse with testicles, but I guess people can imagine a lot.

 

[SaintSamson]

Lol, I was in the middle of my anatomy course when I discovered the bulbis glandis on my dog. I felt it first when I scratched his tummy and totally freaked out... until I put two and two together. I felt like a smart cookie that day.

Not quite a funny story, but more of an entertaining reoccurance.
There is a patient at our hospital that comes in regularly. We go to collect the clients by calling the patient's name, so all the clients waiting will hear the name. It's always entertaining reaction-wise when we go out and call for: "Murderface"

 

[TrocarKarin]

Not quite a funny story, but more of an entertaining reoccurance.
There is a patient at our hospital that comes in regularly. We go to collect the clients by calling the patient's name, so all the clients waiting will hear the name. It's always entertaining reaction-wise when we go out and call for: "Murderface"

Aww, that would totally make my day if somebody brought a "Murderface" to work, since my pup's "Skwisgaar."

 

[Harumph]

Whoa! So that counts two people who watch the same mindless crap that I do...

I've always wanted to name a pet Pickles or Toki.

 

[HopefulAg]

Holy crap! SkiFree!!!

 

[smm482]

1. This story is hilarious! People are so silly sometimes

2. Thank you for posting this b/c you jogged my memory and I realized I forgot to send home a fecal cup with the last patient I saw last night, but I distinctly remember putting it in the invoice. I'll have to call them today. I'm not sure I would have remembered otherwise so thank you!

 

[twelvetigers]

Lol metalocalypse.

We have a "Freakin' Sweeny Todd" which I prefer by far over Snowball or Fuzz Butt or whatever.

PS yay for texting in ochem lab

 

[BlacKAT33]

This comic made me laugh when I read it.
"Cats Don't Care"
http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/cats-dont-care.gif

My cat does this all the time. Right when I open the bathroom door she runs fast to sneak into the bathroom with me lol how rude!

 

[DVMDream]

This comic made me laugh when I read it.
"Cats Don't Care"
http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/cats-dont-care.gif

My cat does this all the time. Right when I open the bathroom door she runs fast to sneak into the bathroom with me lol how rude!

Lol. I normally end up with two dogs and a cat in the bathroom with me. I swear they have a sixth sense that allows them to know that a human is heading to the bathroom and is available to give pets and pats.

 

[MaChien]

~I had this very strange lady come into the Vet clinic/grooming and boarding place I work at. She had two kennels with her, one with a rabbit, and one with a cat.

First off, she came into the kennel side, instead of the clinic. So I ask her what I can do for her, and she tells me she needs us to give her cat an abortion, and then she needs to have her rabbit neutered. I told her she was at the wrong side and she needed to go to the clinic side, because I can't do anything for her Im just the groomer.

She started getting emotional(not sure why?) And told me that her rabbit had a problem of humping the cat, and now the cat is pregnant, and she needed the babies destroyed because they won't be able to survive because they aren't a cat or a rabbit.

I tried to tell her that the cat couldn't possibly be pregnant with rabbit/cat things, but she just started crying while she tried to get the cat out to show me its swollen belly(?) very uncomfortable......

By this time the Vet had come over to the boarding/grooming side and took over.

he told me later that the "pregnant" cat was also spayed. Not sure what happened to the crazy lady though. Some people should not own animals.

 

[Bearby]

I called a client to let her know that her dog's fecal sample had been analyzed by the lab and that there were no parasite ova seen. She then asked me, and I quote, "Where did you get a stool sample? From her butt?" I think I was speechless for a moment before I let her know that I was not the technician on that room so I wasn't sure if the sample was brought into us by her husband or if we went in rectally to obtain one. She then insisted that her husband did not bring it in, that her dog does not like to have that done (what dog does?), and that her husband knows that and would not have agreed to it. She then asked me to send her dog's records to her because she did not like that a fecal sample was taken without permission and she would not be returning. After she hung up on me, I pulled the file and lo and behold, her husband signed an estimate that clearly stated that we were going to perform a fecal examination. It took 3 phone calls from two different people to convince her and her husband of it.

On the funny dog name thing...we have one named Shatz (pronounched Shot-zee) and one named Bumdog.

 

[Myotis]

When I was volunteering a a wildlife rehab center a couple years ago we had someone bring in a grasshopper...we fed it to one of the other rehab animals...

 

[aspiringDVM]

~I had this very strange lady come into the Vet clinic/grooming and boarding place I work at. She had two kennels with her, one with a rabbit, and one with a cat.

First off, she came into the kennel side, instead of the clinic. So I ask her what I can do for her, and she tells me she needs us to give her cat an abortion, and then she needs to have her rabbit neutered. I told her she was at the wrong side and she needed to go to the clinic side, because I can't do anything for her Im just the groomer.

She started getting emotional(not sure why?) And told me that her rabbit had a problem of humping the cat, and now the cat is pregnant, and she needed the babies destroyed because they won't be able to survive because they aren't a cat or a rabbit.

I tried to tell her that the cat couldn't possibly be pregnant with rabbit/cat things, but she just started crying while she tried to get the cat out to show me its swollen belly(?) very uncomfortable......

By this time the Vet had come over to the boarding/grooming side and took over.

he told me later that the "pregnant" cat was also spayed. Not sure what happened to the crazy lady though. Some people should not own animals.

Are you freaking serious?
Never mind owning animals, some people shouldn't leave the confines of their own home!

 

[racccjlm]

When I was working at a wildlife center, we got a report from a corresponding center saying that a woman had brought in a baby seal. She proceeded to tell them that she had tried to feed it but it wasn't hungry. With what you may ask? Her own breast milk....

 

[lalzi22]

This is my FAVORITE. We have this dog that comes in, Rocky, a black lab/pit bull mix. He is so much fun and 8 months old so a crazy ball of energy. One day he is chasing his owner, a 10 year old boy, up their spiral staircase when he slips and tumbles down the staircase, breaking his hindleg in 3 spots. He comes in, we do surgery, but in screws and crazy contraptions to keep this crazy pup's leg immobile while it heals, but we decide to keep him for like 5 days just to make sure it takes. Thank god. We come int he next day and see him, fit and chipper, wagging his big stupid tail with the litter of a shredded cast around him. Great.

So we put him under again, re-did the cast and put a cone on his head (which he LOVED btw). We come in the next morning...he ate his cone. And his new cast. Super.

We re-do the cast, put on the biggest cone we have and one of those neck-brace style no bite collars, and we watch him...We watch him use his front paws to pull the cone as forward as he can and then slap the cone into the wall so it goes underneath the edge of the no-bite collar. This leaves *just* enough space for him to get one of his legs out, so he can then pull down the top of his cone, eat the front of the top of his cone, spin the cone around so the biting is at the bottom, and use this space to begin to eat his third cast. ARE YOU JOKING?!?!?!?

We ended up having to put a no bite collar on, a cone and glue another cone around the first cone so the cone was comically huge. You couldn't see his ront paws since it blocked it out. I love that stupid and yet amazingly brilliant dog.

 

[MaChien]

[SIZE=-2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=-2]Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net[/SIZE]

 

[StartingoverVet]

<necro bump>

From back when DVMD was entertaining... not grumpy.

 

[DVMDream]

<necro bump>

From back when DVMD was entertaining... not grumpy.

I have to:

 

[Skimble]

We need more funny stories! These are great! Here is a funny/sad story.

A client with a ridiculously fractious cat called on a Saturday morning when we were super busy and understaffed. She said the cat appeared to have a seizure and was now just laying there staring blankly. I told her to come right over, and then stressed out how we were going to do anything with this evil cat. When she got there she was really upset because the cat had fallen off the seat while she was driving and she was afraid he got hurt (he was not in a carrier). She had him wrapped in a blanket and placed him on the table, I uncovered his head and realized the cat was dead, like fully stiff/hard as a rock with rigor. I looked at her and said I was sure the fall in the car didn't hurt him because he was gone. She asked if I was sure, and I lifted his leg up and said I was pretty sure, but I'd send the doctor in to confirm it. She also claimed the seizure he had occurred only 15 minutes prior, and he had been walking around before that. We didn't bother trying to explain to her that rigor doesn't set in that quickly.

 

[WildZoo]

The place I worked at this past summer is a dropoff location for injured/sick wildlife that ends up getting transferred to rehab centers. Most of the funniest things that happened there involved wildlife dropoffs, but this is one of my favorites:
It was kind of a slow day so one of the head techs went home early. A bit later the newest receptionist came back to tell us that someone was dropping off a couple of raccoons to the back door. This was protocol for adult raccoons since they weren't allowed to be carried through the building. We asked if the person was willing to leave the carrier that they brought, since the tech who had left was the only one with a rabies vaccine, so she was the only one allowed to handle raccoons. The receptionist told us that the person had already left and had taken the carrier with them. We were freaking out, thinking someone had left two raccoons just inside out back door with nothing to contain them. So the other head tech and I got the heavy gloves and prepared to go handle the situation. But when we got back there, there were no raccoons, just a plastic bag. So we're kind of prodding the bag, trying to figure out what's going on...and I decided screw it, we'll have to open it. The raccoons were inside. Dead. Apparently the person who dropped them off never mentioned that they were being dropped off for disposal. The look on the receptionist's face when we told her was priceless...she had been about to call the other tech back in.

 

[DVMDream]

Ok, remembering funny stories from years past:

• Client calls and I answer the phone. Client: "Hi, I want to get those antibiotics you gave my dog last time." Me: "Ok, could you tell me your last name and your pet's name so I can get your chart? Client gives me the info and I put them on a quick hold while I get the chart (yes, this was back in the old days where charts were written on paper and filed on shelves 😱). Look at the chart and this client has not been seen in the last year. The last time the pet was in antibiotics were prescribed for a UTI. So, I get back on the phone to speak with the client to see what is going on. Me: "Thank you for holding, I have "xxx's" chart here, I see we gave antibiotics about a year ago for a urinary tract infection, could you tell me what is going on with "xxx"?" Client: "Yeah, she had some infection in her urine or something then, I need them antibiotics again. Me: "Ok, what makes you think she needs the antibiotics again?" Client: "Well, she has this red rash on the back of her front legs, I think the bacteria from her urine got on her legs and got them infected too." Me:

• I am at reception and someone comes walking in. I say hi and ask how I can help them out. Guy says, "Yeah, I need eye meds for my dog." Me: "Ok, can I get your last name and your dog's name so I can pull up his medical history." Guy: "I have never been here before, I just need eye meds." Me: "Ok, I understand, do you have a prescription for the eye meds for your dog?" Guy: "No, they are just eye meds, I just need another bottle, I ran out." Me: "Ok, unfortunately, I can't refill your dog's eye meds without a prescription or the vet seeing your dog so that we can be sure he is getting the proper medication. I can call your previous vet to see if they will give us a prescription over the phone or I can set you up with an appointment to see one of our vets." Guy: "This is stupid, there isn't more than one eye medication". He then walked out the door. Me:

• The clinic I worked at closed at 7PM, however if there were still clients in the building or it was before 7:30PM and we were still there we had to answer the phone. It is 7:15PM, the last client had just left, we are all cleaning and the vet has her stuff in hand walking out the door. The phone rings and I answer. "Thank you for calling, xxx animal hospital, after hours, this is DVMD how can I help you?" Client: "Ok, so I am a client of yours and I have two cats that hate each other so I keep them in separate areas of the house so they can't get to each other. Well, one of the doors got left open and they got into a fight and one of the cat's eyes is really messed up. I need an appointment tonight." (Vet seriously walked out the door already). Me: "I am sorry to hear that your cats got into a fight, unfortunately, we are closed for the night and our vet is not longer here, I can give you the location and phone number of the emergency clinic down the road." Client: "No, I am not going to the emergency clinic, I know you have appointments left, just squeeze me in, I don't care if I have to wait." Me: "I don't have a veterinarian here to look at your cat, so all I can offer you right now is to go to the emergency clinic tonight or I have an 8AM appointment tomorrow morning." Client: "No, the emergency clinic is expensive and I have to be at work tomorrow morning before 8, I know you can fit me in tonight." Me.. "I can't fit you in tonight because we are closed and don't have a vet here right now. We can get you in tomorrow morning or you will need to go to the emergency clinic tonight." Client: "Well, this is all your fault! I can't come tomorrow because I have work and you have the worst hours ever! (our clinic is open the earliest and stays open the latest of all clinics in the immediate area except for the 24 hour emergency clinic). My cat is going to lose its eye because of you!" and she hangs up. Me (thinking in my head): "no, your cat's eye is damaged because you insist on keeping two pets in one house that don't get along, this is your fault, not mine."

Ok, I will stop there, I could go on forever... including milk in wound, guy who chopped off dog's ear, box**** puppies, how does dog make milk... I have too many stories.

 

[GoldenGirl28]

I haven't laughed this hard in weeks! SO badly needed with the stress of applications and final exams!