Doctor Bob

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Gypsy curses.

I had a patient yesterday demand that I refill his chronic pain meds, and give him a knee immobilizer. And when I didn't, him and his family put a gypsy curse on me.

The threat is real people. First we had to deal with physical assaults, now we have to deal with assaults on our fate and auras. What's next? Our feng shui?
 

irJanus

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Aw man, I JUST got my furniture oriented for maximal money. This aggression will not stand! Shomer shabbos
 

dotcb

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Yesterday I saw a patient who thought they had lice.

They had... dandruff.

First time I'd written that as a DC diagnosis.
 

Birdstrike

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Gypsy curses.

I had a patient yesterday demand that I refill his chronic pain meds, and give him a knee immobilizer. And when I didn't, him and his family put a gypsy curse on me.

The threat is real people. First we had to deal with physical assaults, now we have to deal with assaults on our fate and auras. What's next? Our feng shui?
Good thing "Gypsy Curse" is not a choice on patient sat surveys. Phew. Sucks that it's being added for 2016 tho. I'm scroooooood

 

Apollyon

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Gypsy curses.

I had a patient yesterday demand that I refill his chronic pain meds, and give him a knee immobilizer. And when I didn't, him and his family put a gypsy curse on me.
I'm just wondering, but what is the down side to this? That would satisfy something, and maybe spare you only half of your life going to hell in an Easter basket.
 
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Doctor Bob

Doctor Bob

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I'm just wondering, but what is the down side to this? That would satisfy something, and maybe spare you only half of your life going to hell in an Easter basket.
There was no medical indication for it. I told him if he wanted one for comfort he was welcome to go and pick one from walmart. I don't give people stuff just because they ask for it.

I offered him an ace-wrap or a knee-sleeve but he was adamant about wanting the long-leg knee immobilizers.
 
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Doctor Bob

Doctor Bob

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You do know that God kills a white baby kitten every time you don't do this, right?
I know it means I have to be more thorough in my MDM documentation.

I generate more patient complaints than my coworkers (about twice as many)
But...
I have the lowest rate and number of complaints that get referred on to QI. Because the people I piss off are the ones who don't actually need anything anyways and when I refuse their request it's based on solid (and easily documentable) medical decision making. Most of my complaints come from drug seekers who I screen, then courteously kick out.

If someone doesn't need something (say, an arm sling), but there's a vaguely arguable reason to give it to them, plus it may give comfort for an acute condition then sure I'll honor their request. I'm not totally heartless; just 95% so.
 

Apollyon

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There was no medical indication for it. I told him if he wanted one for comfort he was welcome to go and pick one from walmart. I don't give people stuff just because they ask for it.

I offered him an ace-wrap or a knee-sleeve but he was adamant about wanting the long-leg knee immobilizers.
See, the knee sleeve is what I have; that is what I thought to which you referred. Eh, you're a heartless *****. (Just kidding - totally!)
 

dchristismi

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You know, I had a patient a couple months ago convinced that he'd been voodoo hexed, and needed a witch doctor to lift the hex. (A vindictive sister in law got him, or something like that.) And that was why his legs were swollen and he was short of breath.

I asked the chaplain to go lift the hex and got a hell of a look, but she said she'd try. I also learned that there is apparently a witch doctor in Tampa, which would be about an hour drive for him. I gave him my own magic - Lasix. He refused to be admitted, which did save me from having to call a witch doctor consult. (Who would even manage that? Podiatry? Neuro? Rheum? Psych?)
 
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Doctor Bob

Doctor Bob

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You know, I had a patient a couple months ago convinced that he'd been voodoo hexed, and needed a witch doctor to lift the hex.
My residency was at a hospital owned by catholic nuns. We had a patient come to the ED once saying they had been possessed and needed an exorcism.
Some people watch too much TV

... did save me from having to call a witch doctor consult. (Who would even manage that? Podiatry? Neuro? Rheum? Psych?)
Administration.
 

GeneralVeers

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You know, I had a patient a couple months ago convinced that he'd been voodoo hexed, and needed a witch doctor to lift the hex. (A vindictive sister in law got him, or something like that.) And that was why his legs were swollen and he was short of breath.

I asked the chaplain to go lift the hex and got a hell of a look, but she said she'd try. I also learned that there is apparently a witch doctor in Tampa, which would be about an hour drive for him. I gave him my own magic - Lasix. He refused to be admitted, which did save me from having to call a witch doctor consult. (Who would even manage that? Podiatry? Neuro? Rheum? Psych?)
I'd call chiro. Closest thing to to a witch doctor in modern society.
 
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BoardingDoc

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I'd call chiro. Closest thing to to a witch doctor in modern society.
You don't have a homeopath or naturopath on call? I use them when I want to prescribe potentiated red algae lotion, but I'm worried that a 1:100000 dilution will be too strong and I should only use 1:1000.
 

Apollyon

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You know, I had a patient a couple months ago convinced that he'd been voodoo hexed, and needed a witch doctor to lift the hex. (A vindictive sister in law got him, or something like that.) And that was why his legs were swollen and he was short of breath.

I asked the chaplain to go lift the hex and got a hell of a look, but she said she'd try. I also learned that there is apparently a witch doctor in Tampa, which would be about an hour drive for him. I gave him my own magic - Lasix. He refused to be admitted, which did save me from having to call a witch doctor consult. (Who would even manage that? Podiatry? Neuro? Rheum? Psych?)
I can imagine the chaplain call schedule - Catholic priest, Rabbi, Imam...Houngan?
 
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da8s0859q

You just know there's some extreme complementary/alternative forum elsewhere, full of nuts who know that an aortic dissection patient just needs a little Reiki, where a link to this thread is about to be posted so they can talk about how we're all terrible doctors.