A

[solitarius]

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There's nothing unreasonable about a 31 yo woman wanting to get married + have babies.

There's nothing unreasonable about a woman calculating fear @ 300k + more med school loans.

There's nothing unsurprising about med school girls lining up engagement + marriage w/in a year. That's what Type A's do!

Still, princesses make for tough gf's and wives.

 

[Brorthopedic]

1. We're basically the same age. I can't imagine just starting med school at this point. It's a long road, you already have a terminal degree. It's time to think practically.

Yeah, that's because you already have your doctor's degree and aren't regretting career choices.

 

[bc65]

I don't think she's being unreasonable. Op is being unreasonable by wanting to go to medical school for bad reasons when he is old and in debt

I agree that the debt is a big issue, but 29 isn't old. It might seem old to a 22 or 24 year old, but it's not old, and not to old to start med school. I believe that there are schools that have average matriculation ages of 26 or 27.

 

[emergentmd]

Hello, Last cycle I was accepted to medical school (M.D.). I am a rather non-traditional student in that I already went to law school. I am turning 29 and my student loans are $300k from undergrad and law school (**** ton, i know). They are all federal I already have some PSLF time on books as I currently work for a hospital. I have always intended to utilize PSLF as I will likely be grandfathered in at 100% forgiveness since I will not be a new borrower if rules change, etc. Not definite but all the experts I spoke to tell me I will almost certainly not have rug pulled out from under me.

Around the same time of my acceptance, I started dating a resident, who is 31, female, doing second residency. She is deathly afraid of my student loan debt and thinks taking on more debt, and going into medicine is mistake. I listened thoughtfully and decided to defer for a year. She told me how none of her resident friends had loans anywhere close in size to mine and don't think it is worth it for me. I am now working in healthcare administration, working closely with doctors. When I am around them I feel a lot of regret over not starting school. I don't know if this regret will ever go away. It is tough b/c in medicine, the docs have the final say regardless of situation, so it is tough to be in a meeting knowing that it could have been you making the final decisions that affect hospital business decisions and patient care. I want to still be a doctor as that was my dream and this hospital admin gig is an alternative bc of loan issue.

I am toying with starting medical school, especially since I could take advantage of national guard scholarship which covers 100% of tuition, and if I sign on for additional years, will give me $2,000/month. My obligation is weekend drill once every other weekend and 90 day deployment once every 3-5 years once I'm done with residency. I would be able to service my existing loans while in school, and only need to borrow a little for cost of living, etc. Additionally, my gf is really pressuring me to get engaged. big time. It will be 1 year, next month. I love her but am afraid that if we get engaged, then that will shut door on medical school. She was not very keen on the national guard option. I was wondering if anyone has gone through similar experience or could offer up some mature advice on the matter? I am not sure what I should do.

Didn't read all responses.

1. You are not married. Heck you are not even engaged. Unless you PUT the ring on it, do not let your SO have any bearing on your decision/happiness. If you do, you will regret it.
2. If this is your calling, go ahead and go to med school Even if you have 600K in debt, you will be able to pay it off. People are so adverse to Debt and for most profession, I can see why. But for a doctor, don't fret it. Go into Medical school, enjoy it, take out the max loan. Even if you have 700K in debt when you leave, you can pay it off. Don't go into primary care. Pick a field that pays 3-400K a year. I am just a grunt ER doc and could pay that 600K in 18 months if I wanted to. I only had 100k when I left Med school, made 300K starting, Paid if off in 1 year while financing a 60K sports car. If I had 700K in debt, I would work twice my 120hr/mo and pay off the debt in 18 months.
3. Don't let your SO have any bearing in your decision. Did I say that? Let me repeat it. Do not let you SO have any bearing. Married? Sure. Married with Kids? Definitely. SO? Are you kidding me.... Let me play it out for you.

You don't go to med school, still have 300k debt and make 80k a year. Good luck paying that off. 3 yrs down the road, you break up/divorce. You are now a drunk and depressed living on the streets. Her? Making 300k a year, married, rich and likely you will never cross her mind again.

 

[DoctorDrewOutsidetheLines]

There are 50 year olds starting medical school. OP, don't give up your MD acceptance.

Seriously, if you and this princess biatch don't work out, you'll regret all the sacrifices you made and she'll still have her MD, baby, and Daddy's money plus the income from the train wreck of raking you over the coals.

This doesn't sound like love. What is she giving you? It sounds like right now you're the guy she wants, and I bet you ANY GUY will suffice if she can make him into the man SHE wants him to be. And if he'll give her a baby.

God, I hope I never feel my biological clock ticking. Everyone else's is ticking me off.

Btw, I'll be 35 if and when I matriculate, maybe a bit older, perhaps a bit younger. I cannot believe the demands people put on others in the name of "love." That's not love, that's ownership.

 

[Oblique]

If you're making good money, I would not recommend starting medical school. Even if you're making 80K right now, you have the potential to push that up to 100K or more within the next 4 years or so. This is way better than 4 years of medical school then 3 years of residency for primary care position to make 150-200K a year.

Medicine is no joke. It's torturous, you're constantly at the bottom of the food chain x 4 years. You have to study almost daily, and it does not get better in residency. You still have to study like crazy in residency, read endless amount of articles to stay up to date with the material. The hours are brutal. You're constantly catering to your residents (who may be younger than you) during rotations and your attendings (who may be younger or your age) during residency. You won't get to spend time with your wife much.

I rather have my 7 years with a JD and try to use this 7 years to improve my legal practice. Medicine is rewarding in some aspects, but at the end of the day x 7 years, you'll always be tired, worried, and fighting for time. I wouldn't do it.

 

[emergentmd]

OK read alittle more. BIG RED FLAGS. WHY are guys so STUPID? Seriously.

I am 42. I am even keeled. I work with Females in the ED for over 15 yrs. Never divorced. Never thought about divorce. Lucky to marry a reasonable person. I actually wanted to switch fields as an attending at yr 5, making 400k/hr to go back to residency for another 4 yrs. She told me she was willing to move. I want to buy a 120k TESLA, she told me go ahead and get it. And you know what? She still is alittle crazy.

But MOST women are ALOT Crazy...... I would put that number at 80%.

Dude.... good luck. Take my advice. Jump ship. Go to med school. You will thank me in 10 yrs, married to a reasonable person.

Oh BTW. You are dumb to defer Med school. Many would kill for an acceptance. You had a bird in hand and threw it away.

Let me be frank. That was DUMB. Hope you can get in and reverse this illogical mistake.

Your first job tomorrow is to call her up. and DUMP her.

 

[kenjixshadow]

Your first job tomorrow is to call her up. and DUMP her.

Loved your post, but OP shouldn't call. She will start crying and make drama. Too much time wasting. Just send a text and change phone number.

 

[DoctorDrewOutsidetheLines]

Just re-read your first post. So you had JUST started dating this chick and decided to defer medical school for one year for her?!

And now that you've been dating all of one year and one month, you're ready to marry her, start a family with her, and give up your dreams of medicine all because this is what SHE wants for YOUR life?

I'd call her up tomorrow, dump her, then make an appointment with a psychiatrist STAT!

If you pass up this opportunity, you are going to regret it for the rest of your life.

The question I want to know is: why don't you think you're worthy? Of medical school? Of a supportive partner? Sure she has money (and money is not everything, so I'm trying to figure out what it is about this girl that's got you hooked because it sure doesn't seem like love) but she's not the one for you if it's all about her.

 

[drdisney]

I hope this wasn't directed at me! I don't think women are all money-grubbing bitches who want to trap men into marriage and ruin their lives, but this one he's got sure sounds that way .

I also hope this wasn't directed at me. Pointing out unreasonable behavior isn't misogyny. Besides, people use hyperbole and extremes to make a point.

Not aimed at either of you, aimed at some other posts that were clearly pretty gross! Totally agree that pointing out unreasonable behavior isn't misogyny.

 

[Giovanotto]

Sigh

 

[68PGunner]

Hello, Last cycle I was accepted to medical school (M.D.). I am a rather non-traditional student in that I already went to law school. I am turning 29 and my student loans are $300k from undergrad and law school (**** ton, i know). They are all federal I already have some PSLF time on books as I currently work for a hospital. I have always intended to utilize PSLF as I will likely be grandfathered in at 100% forgiveness since I will not be a new borrower if rules change, etc. Not definite but all the experts I spoke to tell me I will almost certainly not have rug pulled out from under me.

Around the same time of my acceptance, I started dating a resident, who is 31, female, doing second residency. She is deathly afraid of my student loan debt and thinks taking on more debt, and going into medicine is mistake. I listened thoughtfully and decided to defer for a year. She told me how none of her resident friends had loans anywhere close in size to mine and don't think it is worth it for me. I am now working in healthcare administration, working closely with doctors. When I am around them I feel a lot of regret over not starting school. I don't know if this regret will ever go away. It is tough b/c in medicine, the docs have the final say regardless of situation, so it is tough to be in a meeting knowing that it could have been you making the final decisions that affect hospital business decisions and patient care. I want to still be a doctor as that was my dream and this hospital admin gig is an alternative bc of loan issue.

I am toying with starting medical school, especially since I could take advantage of national guard scholarship which covers 100% of tuition, and if I sign on for additional years, will give me $2,000/month. My obligation is weekend drill once every other weekend and 90 day deployment once every 3-5 years once I'm done with residency. I would be able to service my existing loans while in school, and only need to borrow a little for cost of living, etc. Additionally, my gf is really pressuring me to get engaged. big time. It will be 1 year, next month. I love her but am afraid that if we get engaged, then that will shut door on medical school. She was not very keen on the national guard option. I was wondering if anyone has gone through similar experience or could offer up some mature advice on the matter? I am not sure what I should do.

The question becomes how much debt does she have. If it's negligible, what's the problem with having a sugar mama? Now, you just need to use your convo skills to convince her that medical school for you is a good idea. You can start with getting married, having kids, and starting a family through school as a team. It has to be done at some point. You can't calculate specific timing on these occasions. Then, you can convince her how you can work at places like the VA for 20 yrs and have all your debts erased.

 

[68PGunner]

Big red flag. Don't marry princesses.

I happily marry a princess for seven years already. How about you not giving relationship advice when you don't know wtf you're talking about? This is what my princess does for me on a regular basis:
1) Cook 2 healthy meals a day japanese/korean style.
2) Clean the house and do the laundry everyday.
3) Fun time in bed on demand.
4) Take care of my two boys with their education

Everything is doable when you're a reasonable person. You need to talk to each other and learn to compromise on issues.

 

[Stagg737]

Just re-read your first post. So you had JUST started dating this chick and decided to defer medical school for one year for her?!

Hadn't thought about the timeline, but this is a really good point. I really hope OP deferred for reasons other than some girl he'd just started dating.

To everyone else, I don't think some of the gf's desires are unreasonable. Like wanting to get married or have a kid. I think the timeline given and the fact that it sounds like she's making ultimatums which would completely dictate OP's life is unreasonable. She has essentially said that if he doesn't want to get married and have kids immediately in addition to either keeping a job he doesn't like or finding a way to finish residency debt free, then she doesn't want to be with him. Then she turns around and shoots down the best option he's proposed at not having debt. On top of that, she's expecting all of this from someone that she's barely been with a year? And this sounds reasonable to people? Seriously?

As for people saying 600k is too much debt, I'd ask if they'd think 300k is too much to graduate with. Since OP's gf would be finishing residency with no debt and will obviously be a doc then there will be 2 physicians bringing home significant income. So 600k would be far less daunting than some people are making it out to be. On top of that, the gf comes from money and is getting double boarded, meaning she's not going to be hurting for cash at any point in her life. So paying off that debt within a few years really shouldn't be that difficult. If she were actually serious about the relationship and not just getting what she wants, the financial aspect wouldn't even be a major issue here.

I happily marry a princess for seven years already. How about you not giving relationship advice when you don't know wtf you're talking about? This is what my princess does for me on a regular basis:
1) Cook 2 healthy meals a day japanese/korean style.
2) Clean the house and do the laundry everyday.
3) Fun time in bed on demand.
4) Take care of my two boys with their education

Everything is doable when you're a reasonable person. You need to talk to each other and learn to compromise on issues.

Unless she's sucking up 90% of each paycheck for her personal wants, your wife sounds nothing like a princess. Willingness to compromise or even being reasonable are not traits that any princess I've ever met had.

 

[68PGunner]

Unless she's sucking up 90% of each paycheck for her personal wants, your wife sounds nothing like a princess. Willingness to compromise or even being reasonable are not traits that any princess I've ever met had.

My wife came from an affluent family. When we first met, she was very stubborn. She is still stubborn today. However, she learns to be more reasonable over the years in order to keep our family together. We have had some bad fights throughout the years. I also have made some changes to accommodate her. It's amazing how she puts up with so much of my crap over the years considering my humble background. Oh, well. That's why she's a keeper.

 

[Affiche]

I happily marry a princess for seven years already. How about you not giving relationship advice when you don't know wtf you're talking about? This is what my princess does for me on a regular basis:
1) Cook 2 healthy meals a day japanese/korean style.
2) Clean the house and do the laundry everyday.
3) Fun time in bed on demand.
4) Take care of my two boys with their education

Everything is doable when you're a reasonable person. You need to talk to each other and learn to compromise on issues.

Ugh please don't ever again suggest that having sex ''on demand'' belongs in a healthy relationship.

 

[68PGunner]

Ugh please don't ever again suggest that having sex ''on demand'' belongs in a healthy relationship.

A little bit of exaggeration, but the boys get the point.

 

[Affiche]

A little bit of exaggeration, but the boys get the point.

Lol I believe the correct response was, "Sorry, my post was inappropriate and offensive".

 

[68PGunner]

Lol I believe the correct response was, "Sorry, my post was inappropriate and offensive".

Why do I need to apologize to a random cookie like you on the internet? Nobody is forcing you to read my contents. Just saying...

 

[Affiche]

Why do I need to apologize to a random cookie like you on the internet? Nobody is forcing you to read my contents. Just saying...

You don't need to apologize to anyone, especially not me. Typically, the appropriate response for making a crude remark is to apologize for making it. Just saying....

No need to derail the thread anymore, I just thought it was interesting that you told everyone not to give relationship advice and then made a pretty sexist post to detail how great your relationship is lol.

 

[TBV]

 

[68PGunner]

I am toying with starting medical school, especially since I could take advantage of national guard scholarship which covers 100% of tuition, and if I sign on for additional years, will give me $2,000/month. My obligation is weekend drill once every other weekend and 90 day deployment once every 3-5 years once I'm done with residency. I would be able to service my existing loans while in school, and only need to borrow a little for cost of living, etc. Additionally, my gf is really pressuring me to get engaged. big time. It will be 1 year, next month. I love her but am afraid that if we get engaged, then that will shut door on medical school. She was not very keen on the national guard option. I was wondering if anyone has gone through similar experience or could offer up some mature advice on the matter? I am not sure what I should do.

Going to give you a huge piece of advice:

Sometimes, it's not about your contents but your presentation of the materials. For women, this is a big thing. So, if this girl is really that important to you, I would advise you to take the time to talk to her and flush out issues. The bottom line is that both of you really need to listen to each other and make compromises. If she feels that strongly for you like you do for her, she will listen to you, so that things will work for both of you.

Right now, you guys are just at the finding out stages like her wants and needs vs yours.

 

[wxman393]

Hello, Last cycle I was accepted to medical school (M.D.). I am a rather non-traditional student in that I already went to law school. I am turning 29 and my student loans are $300k from undergrad and law school (**** ton, i know). They are all federal I already have some PSLF time on books as I currently work for a hospital. I have always intended to utilize PSLF as I will likely be grandfathered in at 100% forgiveness since I will not be a new borrower if rules change, etc. Not definite but all the experts I spoke to tell me I will almost certainly not have rug pulled out from under me.

Around the same time of my acceptance, I started dating a resident, who is 31, female, doing second residency. She is deathly afraid of my student loan debt and thinks taking on more debt, and going into medicine is mistake. I listened thoughtfully and decided to defer for a year. She told me how none of her resident friends had loans anywhere close in size to mine and don't think it is worth it for me. I am now working in healthcare administration, working closely with doctors. When I am around them I feel a lot of regret over not starting school. I don't know if this regret will ever go away. It is tough b/c in medicine, the docs have the final say regardless of situation, so it is tough to be in a meeting knowing that it could have been you making the final decisions that affect hospital business decisions and patient care. I want to still be a doctor as that was my dream and this hospital admin gig is an alternative bc of loan issue.

I am toying with starting medical school, especially since I could take advantage of national guard scholarship which covers 100% of tuition, and if I sign on for additional years, will give me $2,000/month. My obligation is weekend drill once every other weekend and 90 day deployment once every 3-5 years once I'm done with residency. I would be able to service my existing loans while in school, and only need to borrow a little for cost of living, etc. Additionally, my gf is really pressuring me to get engaged. big time. It will be 1 year, next month. I love her but am afraid that if we get engaged, then that will shut door on medical school. She was not very keen on the national guard option. I was wondering if anyone has gone through similar experience or could offer up some mature advice on the matter? I am not sure what I should do.

Which National Guard scholarship are you referring to? Are you talking about the MDSSP? That program, through the National Guard, does not give you tuition up front. You might be confusing it with HPLRP, which is currently capped at $240,000 in loan repayment (e.g., $40,000 a year for six years if you take the whole thing). MDSSP is really a stipend program (Medical and Dental Students Stipend Program).

I left active duty to attend medical school and I serve in the National Guard. Are you taking advantage of a particular scholarship offered by your State to attend medical school? Or are you referring to HPSP, which provides tuition/stipend/etc.

In general, MDSSP codes you as a 00E67, meaning that you are non-deployable for seven years (med school plus three year residency). You'll complete your DCA packet and be commissioned as a 2LT. Obviously, your individual State/unit commander will control your drill schedule and deployment schedule post-residency.

Another poster commented on doing your due diligence to make sure you are not going down a rabbit hole. While I am only n=1, I've never heard of the National Guard offering medical tuition upfront plus a stipend payment, unless this is a specific State benefit.

I will also say that if your SO is not fond of military service, think long and hard about your decision. You obviously have to do what will make you happy. However, having an SO that does not support military commitment, especially part-time military commitment (National Guard/Reserves), can lead to heartbreak down the line, not to mention any financial implications associated with separation and/or divorce.

 

[Affiche]

@PREMED501 have you looked into NHSC? If you have any interest in primary care and the underserved, that may be a great option for you as the payback time is only a few years and then you're done. I agree with @Stagg737 though that if you end up marrying this girl, she should be able to help you with some of your debt load.

 

[UBC2014]

Where is her compromise in this relationship?

I'd walk away fast. As much as you likely don't see it, you're being controlled and manipulated out of your options and into the ideal role for HER.

She may be great and all, but its not like you will never find someone else.

You need to be true to YOURSELF first and foremost.

 

[UBC2014]

There is more to life than being a doctor.

There's also more to life than blindly agreeing with a unsupportive partner to fit into their ideal role.

It's only been not even 1 year in the relationship, already getting pressures and making life decisions for you. Without any semblences of compromise.

 

[Too Polish to Function.]

My mom went to medical school at 30 already having a husband and 2 kids. She was 40 by the time she was done with training, but she still wound up teaching at a top tier medical school, running a level III OB/GYN department, and paid off all of her loans within 5 years of completing residency. Wasn't easy and wouldn't have been possible without my dad supporting her all the way through, but if you're called to medicine, you'll always regret not going. Go to med school.

 

[235009]

Lol I believe the correct response was, "Sorry, my post was inappropriate and offensive".

You don't need to apologize to anyone, especially not me. Typically, the appropriate response for making a crude remark is to apologize for making it. Just saying....

so he doesn't actually have to be sorry for saying it, just has to go through the motions of "apologizing"?

 

[Affiche]

so he doesn't actually have to be sorry for saying it, just has to go through the motions of "apologizing"?

Lol no fool I just said he didn't need to apologize but it would have been appropriate to. You just wanted to load up on South Park gifs .

 

[deleted547631]

Do medical school if that's what you truly want. Unless she's the one, marriage can wait.

 

[emergentmd]

I don't think finances should have any bearing on this decision. Long years - yes. Long hours - sure, stress - sure.

As a doc, you should be able to make 300K in most fields. Pick one if finances is an issue. Think about this.

OP case 600k making 300k is easily serviceable. Live on 100K, use the other 200K pretax to service it. This is much better than owing 150K out of Pharm school making 110k a year. Or any college student owing 50k making 50k a year.

 

[Baller MD]

My mom went to medical school at 30 already having a husband and 2 kids. She was 40 by the time she was done with training, but she still wound up teaching at a top tier medical school, running a level III OB/GYN department, and paid off all of her loans within 5 years of completing residency. Wasn't easy and wouldn't have been possible without my dad supporting her all the way through, but if you're called to medicine, you'll always regret not going. Go to med school.

It was cheaper back then.

 

[dozitgetchahi]

You're 29 and you're wondering if you shouldn't start med school?

You're literally younger than about half my class at DO school.

Put your foot down, go to medical school and get on with it. You just lost another year by deferring it.

Women are dime a dozen, too. Sounds like the one you found wants to be the one in the relationship issuing orders.

 

[salsasunrise123]

.

 

[mspeedwagon]

Let me say that I feel SDN is the wrong place to come if you want people to say "don't go into medicine." But, I might be the opposite of you. I started med school and really wish I had deferred it for a year (I'm 32 so decided not to). I have a long-time gf (8 yrs) that I would have been engaged to if it weren't for geographical considerations (she went away for med school, then moved for residency and now is planning to move again for fellowship).

I started medical school and realized that the first year sucks. I can only speak for the first semester, but it's really hard (I always thought med school was just memorization... but things like cardio phys take a lot of understanding too), fast-paced (take the fastest pace you think now and double it), exceedingly detailed (they test the smallest things), and even the most enthusiastic of folks end up questioning their decision to attend (it's literally a day-night commitment). I watched my gf go through it, worked in a hospital and pharma for 10 yrs and really didn't understand what it took to be a med student. I know what being a doctor is like (shadowed for hundreds, if not thousands of hrs), but being a pre-clinical med student has no resemblance to it whatsoever. It's really hard and soul-sucking. I don't blame your gf for now wanting to be married to a med student (especially with all that debt).

I'm not in your boat. I'm almost your polar opposite. My gf feels she owes it to me to support me through med school and I question leaving all the time (and I'm only in my first semester). I feel I want a normal life. Outside of med school, I'd make 110-120k per yr at the moment working your standard 40 hour week. I have dreams about getting married, settling down and going back to the normal life instead of 24/7 classes and studying. Med school becomes your life. Most compare it to a full-time job... it certainly is not. Say goodbye to nights and wknds and cutting down on fun activities (disclaimer: there are a few folks that don't study that much, maintain all their past activities and do fine, but there is probably less than a 10% chance you'll fall in this pool... probably closer to 0% if you aren't a strong standardized test taker [just saw your post above]).

Good luck to you with whatever decision you make. I just want to let you know that a lot of people idealize med school, but you may question your desire to be here when you arrive. I never expected to question it as much as I do. I was so sure medicine was my calling. I have more prior health care experience than most on sdn. But, no one really emphasizes med student life on here (no one says go out and shadow med students, but that's what you are going to be for the next four yrs at least... longer if you need to remediate courses). For all, but a few, it's insanely difficult. That's with no other obligations (with children, and the like, it gets much harder). Your gf is not crazy for not wanting to marry a med student. She knows what it entails.

And yes, with a new school it'll be harder to secure residencies exactly where you want them so having to move in 4 yrs is a real possibility. Especially if you end up with borderline Step scores. On the flipside, if you score really high on the Step exams, turning down a prestigious program because of geographic constraints may be equally difficult (my gf had the option of going anywhere and decided to train at the best and I've always encouraged her to do so in order to become the best doctor she can be. I know I'll always be second to her love for medicine).

 

[salsasunrise123]

.

 

[el_duderino]

Entering medical school with $300,000 debt at 30 years old while in a long-term relationship is completely insane.

You'll be, what... 38-40 years old and, what, around $800,000 in the red by the time you actually have an attending's salary?

 

[SMIGuy]

I'm 28 and will start school next fall at 29 with much more modest debt and different circumstances with my significant other so I can't comment from experience. However, I can say that the tone of your posts indicates that you know exactly what you want to do and are looking more for affirmation than anything else. I get it. I do the same thing often enough. I can say that 600K in debt is a terrifying number. However, there are ways to manage perpetual debt, and if you make minimum payments on federal student debt for 20 years the rest is forgiven anyways so there's always that. Nonetheless, if you are confident that this is what you want to do then it's better to do it than resent yourself for turning it down in the future. But I think you already know what you are going to do. I think you are just trying to work up the cajones to pull the trigger and tell her you've made a decision she doesn't agree with. But I think agonizing over the decision is pointless if you've already made up your mind.

 

[el_duderino]

Presumably the current $300k would continue to accrue interest, no? Would be more like $500k by the time residency is finished. PLUS the medical school debt.

 

[salsasunrise123]

.

 

[SMIGuy]

I don't think it's possible to know. 29 is pretty young so there's no reason to use the time requirement as an argument for PA school. Debt burden might be a reasonable consideration. Only you know the answer to whether you will be fulfilled. A part of me thinks the choice between PA and MD for a non trad is a little bit driven by personality. I wouldn't go to PA school partially because I would hate playing second fiddle.

 

[Stagg737]

Presumably the current $300k would continue to accrue interest, no? Would be more like $500k by the time residency is finished. PLUS the medical school debt.

Not if they're subsidized, so it depends on the loans. Plus if his SO who is a resident graduating with no debt is able to help mitigate some of that cost/help pay the debt, that potential 600k becomes much less daunting. I'm not saying whether OP should or shouldn't take that risk, just that debt is situational. I think having a household income of 400k+ with 600k of debt is much less intimidating than having 300k of debt with an income of 75k. That may not be what would happen in OP's situation, but if his SO were reasonable and supportive then it very well could be.

 

[doc05]

Entering medical school with $300,000 debt at 30 years old while in a long-term relationship is completely insane.

You'll be, what... 38-40 years old and, what, around $800,000 in the red by the time you actually have an attending's salary?

I have to echo the above sentiments. Med school + IM residency + fellowship is 10 years. It's even longer for a surgical field. The debt will only grow. You will be much much older, and you will age exponentially because of the stresses of medical training. Don't do it.

 

[bc65]

I have read that page before. It doesn't seem that bad to me. What am I missing? I go to drill one weekend every other month (where they will most likely make me study all weekend long) and complete 2 weeks of basic training at some point, and would likely get deployed for 90 days after residency, if I am still in Guard. In return for this, I get paid for drill, and have all of my tuition covered. At the end of residency I will owe approx 600k. As someone who has been through med school and residency, what do you find concerning/troubling about this plan?

Will you owe 600k with or without the National Guard? If it's with, that's a really scary amount, especially if you don't get into a highly paid specialty.

You said that it's a new school. Would you be able to get subsidized/ Federal loans?

I didn't try to grasp all the details of the article various national guard options. I'm just advising you to understand all the details and implications. Generally, these scholarship programs don't really pay financially, so be careful, except if you go into primary care, in which case the military pay plus benefits will equal or exceed your civilian salary. All I'm advising is that you be extremely careful in your choice. There were lots of comments on that article and not all were encouraging. You will only get 240,000 paid for, at the rate of 40 k per year, plus a stipend in some cases. I just don't think that's worth all the potential risk, but I haven't looked at all the details. I could be wrong.

Anyway, there are a lot of very good comments here from other posters. You will have to sort through them. I don't think your age should be a disqualifier for med school, but med school will be hard, and the debt is truly scary, but the debt might be easier to pay off after med school than it is now, with 300k to pay off on a 75 k salary. Getting into only one school isn't a disqualifier and it's not a bad sign. I don't think your girlfriend is being supportive, but if her main concern is the debt, she might have a point. I suppose that if you decide against med school, you might consider continuing the relationship. Remember, while PSLF might save you, you can't rely on it being there for you.

Keep in mind that about half of all doctors wish they had chosen another profession. On the other hand, you already tried a different one, so that caveat may not apply to you.

I hope that your decision works out for the best, whatever you decide.

 

[salsasunrise123]

.

 

[DNC127]

Thank you all for your feedback. Regardless of my decision, my SO has told me she will not help me pay off student loans under any circumstance since she didn't have say in me borrowing in first place or me deciding on switching to medicine (both occurred before we met). It is hurtful and certainly cause to pause and think before moving forward.

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[Affiche]

Thank you all for your feedback. Regardless of my decision, my SO has told me she will not help me pay off student loans under any circumstance since she didn't have say in me borrowing in first place or me deciding on switching to medicine (both occurred before we met). It is hurtful and certainly cause to pause and think before moving forward.

Lmao how is she even thinking about marriage if she doesn't want to share the responsibility of your debt? And sorry princess but when you're 31 and unmarried it goes without saying that you'll be taking on a lot of responsibilities from your future spouse that you didn't have a say in in the first place.

I feel for you OP but there are so many red flags here. Drop the dead weight and take care of yourself.

 

[Psai]

Wtf are you guys talking about? Dude has 300k and wants to take on another 300k. If everything goes on track, he will start making money about 37 or 38 and be lucky to be debt free by 50. Why should his significant other take a part of the debt that he generated for no good reason? Who knows if op can handle medical school. If anyone is dead weight, it is op.

 

[el_duderino]

Lmao how is she even thinking about marriage if she doesn't want to share the responsibility of your debt? And sorry princess but when you're 31 and unmarried it goes without saying that you'll be taking on a lot of responsibilities from your future spouse that you didn't have a say in in the first place.

I feel for you OP but there are so many red flags here. Drop the dead weight and take care of yourself.

Of his FUTURE debt.

No person in their right mind would look at their SO at 30 years old with $300,000 in debt, thinking about taking on an additional $300,000 and giving up 7 years of income, and say "NO PROBLEM! I'll bail you out! Let's get married!"

 

[Affiche]

Wtf are you guys talking about? Dude has 300k and wants to take on another 300k. If everything goes on track, he will start making money about 37 or 38 and be lucky to be debt free by 50. Why should his significant other take a part of the debt that he generated for no good reason? Who knows if op can handle medical school. If anyone is dead weight, it is op.

It sounds like he's planning to attend medical school with his tuition paid for, so it wouldn't be another 300k added on but 300k in total. 300k in debt to have an MD/JD isn't that bad. If she's talking about marrying him and popping out a baby then she needs to realize that his debt is going to affect their ability to purchase a house together, save for baby's college tuiton, etc.

Of his FUTURE debt.

No person in their right mind would look at their SO at 30 years old with $300,000 in debt, thinking about taking on an additional $300,000 and giving up 7 years of income, and say "NO PROBLEM! I'll bail you out! Let's get married!"

I read his post to mean that she wouldn't help pay off his current debt either, since she didn't have any say in him borrowing in the first place. That's insane. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to marry into debt but it makes no sense to talk about marrying someone who has debt but insist that you'll have no part in it.

To be clear, I don't think there's anything wrong with any of her wants. I agree with other posters that it's fine to want to settle down, have a kid and not marry into debt. Nothing wrong with that. But there is something absolutely wrong if you're demanding those things from your partner who is obviously not on the same page. Either decide you want to settle down with your current partner and figure out a way to compromise or decide it's not what you want and move the **** on. ****, you haven't even been together for a year!