Accidentally sent inappropriate email to program

[Goro]

To the OP:

I highly recommend you use the following as your thought process: You have lost this position, and unless you impress them with your new found committment to train there, you will be fired. Perhaps that's not true, but it's best you think of it this way. And also, in most places if the chair decides they don't want you, it doesn't matter what the PD thinks. The PD works for the chair.

OP, a simpler way of thinking about this is: "you aren't merely on thin ice, it's ice a micron think"

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Qpworueury]

I am sure this is correct but the level of handholding is just ridiculous but I guess this does not surprise me given how our society is moving. Instead of producing adults, we coddle them endlessly.

I have been a Department chair, FSER owner/manager with probably 50+ docs in my career. If someone screws up and need to discuss with the CEO, I for sure would not drag him to the meeting to make sure he attends. If he doesn't attend, then he bears the consequence.

They offered to do that. I didn't ask them. I got them involved because this is almost like the match process, having someone who's willing to make phone calls is really important. Wish I realized this before.

 

[candbgirl]

They offered to do that. I didn't ask them. I got them involved because this is almost like the match process, having someone who's willing to make phone calls is really important. Wish I realized this before.

Except you had hoped to keep it from your current program. And you did until your Advanced Program called your current program because you ignored their emails/invites/whatever it was. Your program got involved when they went looking for you to take the call. This isn’t like the match. You’ve already done that.

 

[Bored Snorlax]

I'm 100% sure this guy is trolling. Thanks for the lols.

 

[Qpworueury]

So just got word. Good news. They said I don't have to meet with the chair, but they gave me an opportunity to chat with them if I wish to with a tentative time slot tomorrow. Not sure how to interpret this? Should I just go or could I make things worse.

 

[ortnakas]

So just got word. Good news. They said I don't have to meet with the chair, but they gave me an opportunity to chat with them if I wish to with a tentative time slot tomorrow. Not sure how to interpret this? Should I just go or could I make things worse.

You should
-take any possible opportunity to apologize that you possibly can
-recognize that optional meetings in residency are, if not actually mandatory, highly recommended. Especially if you’re already on thin ice

 

[Qpworueury]

You should
-take any possible opportunity to apologize that you possibly can
-recognize that optional meetings in residency are, if not actually mandatory, highly recommended. Especially if you’re already on thin ice

That makes sense. Will schedule.

 

[GoSpursGo]

So just got word. Good news. They said I don't have to meet with the chair, but they gave me an opportunity to chat with them if I wish to with a tentative time slot tomorrow. Not sure how to interpret this? Should I just go or could I make things worse.

Agree with above. Take the opportunity to mend bridges

 

[Robin-jay]

I'm 100% sure this guy is trolling. Thanks for the lols.

I will say this...

If the OP comes back tomorrow with the "I talked to the chair but now I messed up because XYZ", you probably have a troll.

If the meeting goes well tomorrow and there are no more theatrical bumps on the road, maybe its someone who finally learned their lesson.

 

[Moko]

So just got word. Good news. They said I don't have to meet with the chair, but they gave me an opportunity to chat with them if I wish to with a tentative time slot tomorrow. Not sure how to interpret this? Should I just go or could I make things worse.

You need to attend this meeting and reiterate how apologetic you are and how you will work hard to be a resident they are proud of. Not attending the meeting will make things worse. While you can't turn back time, you can show that the email you sent was not indicative of who you are as a person. Do not make excuses, and accept that the rest of your training has now become harder as a consequence of your actions.

You are very lucky that both programs came through for you as most people do not have this luxury. And as others have said, you will likely remain on very thin ice for most, if not all, of your residency training. Also, do not even think about complaining with your co-residents - you never know who may overhear the conversation. Just my thoughts and best of luck.

 

[Terrainport]

pics or it didnt happen =)

 

[Qpworueury]

Just met with the chair. Overall another positive experience. I reiterated what I said in the prior meeting, and it was very well received. They appreciated "my maturity this past week." They said they really wanted to make this work. They know I was competitive and they were concerned if I didn't start the year there they would be unable to fill the spot with a similar caliber candidate.

We talked about putting our best foot forward together, some of our common research interests. They even said if I realized I was still unhappy, they "would be willing to work out a transfer"

Relieved that this all behind me. I'm glad my record prevailed.

 

[Bored Snorlax]

Just met with the chair. Overall another positive experience. I reiterated what I said in the prior meeting, and it was very well received. They appreciated "my maturity this past week." They said they really wanted to make this work. They know I was competitive and they were concerned if I didn't start the year there they would be unable to fill the spot with a similar caliber candidate.

We talked about putting our best foot forward together, some of our common research interests. They even said if I realized I was still unhappy, they "would be willing to work out a transfer"

Relieved that this all behind me. I'm glad my record prevailed.

Thanks for informing the SDN public community of your private conversation with a department chair, but that shouldn't be a problem given your situation isn't unique enough to identify you.

 

[Qpworueury]

Thanks for informing the SDN public community of your private conversation with a department chair, but that shouldn't be a problem given your situation isn't unique enough to identify you.

I'll edit these posts in a few days. Just wanted to let everyone know how it all turned out in case someone finds themselves in a different predicament.

 

[Bored Snorlax]

I'll edit these posts in a few days. Just wanted to let everyone know how it all turned out in case someone finds themselves in a different predicament.

I appreciate you sharing your story. This will help prevent any future residents from making the same mistakes. I urge you to share your experience by being a keynote speaker at the next Ted Talks conference.

 

[Qpworueury]

I appreciate you sharing your story. This will help prevent any future residents from making the same mistakes. I urge you to share your experience by being a keynote speaker at the next Ted Talks conference.

Yeah overall I think many of the posters here overreacted a bit, but again they don't have the context of my med school performance. I'm not sure if I was in any real danger based on these meetings.


I know people disagree but I think it speaks volumes that the chair was trying to get me to stay and it really felt like they were trying to sell the program to me again.

Nevertheless I guess I'm glad I prepared for it and overreacted rather than undereactred.

 

[xffan624]

Yeah overall I think many of the posters here overreacted a bit, but again they don't have the context of my med school performance. I'm not sure if I was in any real danger based on these meetings.


I know people disagree but I think it speaks volumes that the chair was trying to get me to stay and it really felt like they were trying to sell the program to me again.

Nevertheless I guess I'm glad I prepared for it and overreacted rather than undereactred.

I think your sarcasm meter might be broken, OP.

Even if the program is as horrible as you say it is, no chief or program director has such low self esteem that they would attempt to sell an intern who just insulted them via email and lied about the fact afterwards on their program. The fact that you continue to interpret the situation as such and you think that our lack of context on your medical school performance (which apparently was so great that you landed at this horrible program) caused the experienced posters on this thread to overreact, speaks far more about your own issues than anything else. Please wipe the first two sentences of this post from your thoughts for the sake of your future career if you hope to have one.

 

[lal4life]

Yeah overall I think many of the posters here overreacted a bit, but again they don't have the context of my med school performance. I'm not sure if I was in any real danger based on these meetings.


I know people disagree but I think it speaks volumes that the chair was trying to get me to stay and it really felt like they were trying to sell the program to me again.

Nevertheless I guess I'm glad I prepared for it and overreacted rather than undereactred.

Oh, I get it now. We’re not dealing with simple deflection and lack of responsibility. We’re dealing with narcissism. No wonder it took so long. Sure, you were a competitive candidate, and sure they want you there. But any competent warm body would work for most programs. They need cheap labor, which is what you provide. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship.

Get your head out of the sky. You’re not the second coming or savior of your program. You absolutely underreacted. Then you corrected. Great job correcting. That’s the attitude adjustment that is needed going forward. If this narcissistic pattern persists, it’s going to be more of the same in the future. You’ve got to change! And for the sake of the profession, we’re all cheering for you to make that change!

 

[GoSpursGo]

I know people disagree but I think it speaks volumes that the chair was trying to get me to stay and it really felt like they were trying to sell the program to me again.

And again, they are doing this because it is way easier for both you and them to forget this ever happened, and have you show up and be the star resident they were hoping they were getting. and maybe they saw that playing to your ego a bit was the easiest way to get that desired outcome. Either way, don’t screw up again

 

[IlDestriero]

Lots of superstars come knocking for fellowship or faculty positions and are surprised when their offer never comes. Adjust your expectations to reflect reality and stay humble or you’ll be seeing a recurring pattern. Nobody wants to work with a narcissist, not for a year, and certainly not long term, even if you’re actually the superstar you think you are.
“Nope. Bad fit.”

 

[Bored Snorlax]

Yeah overall I think many of the posters here overreacted a bit, but again they don't have the context of my med school performance. I'm not sure if I was in any real danger based on these meetings.


I know people disagree but I think it speaks volumes that the chair was trying to get me to stay and it really felt like they were trying to sell the program to me again.

Nevertheless I guess I'm glad I prepared for it and overreacted rather than undereactred.

100% on the overreaction. They do not understand that you are too much of an asset, and that you can get away with anything.

In fact, hospital administration should offer you a letter of apology and free taco tuesdays to retain your talent.

 

[Qpworueury]

Lots of superstars come knocking for fellowship or faculty positions and are surprised when their offer never comes. Adjust your expectations to reflect reality and stay humble or you’ll be seeing a recurring pattern. Nobody wants to work with a narcissist, not for a year, and certainly not long term, even if you’re actually the superstar you think you are.
“Nope. Bad fit.”

Luckily I'm not aiming for a fellowship at this place, but point taken.

 

[Robin-jay]

Yeah overall I think many of the posters here overreacted a bit, but again they don't have the context of my med school performance. I'm not sure if I was in any real danger based on these meetings.


I know people disagree but I think it speaks volumes that the chair was trying to get me to stay and it really felt like they were trying to sell the program to me again.

Nevertheless I guess I'm glad I prepared for it and overreacted rather than undereactred.

Can you write me a letter of recommendation?

 

[ortnakas]

Nevertheless I guess I'm glad I prepared for it and overreacted rather than undereactred.

You’re welcome.
Sincerely,
Everyone who offered advice in this thread

 

[SurgDoc95]

Yeah overall I think many of the posters here overreacted a bit, but again they don't have the context of my med school performance. I'm not sure if I was in any real danger based on these meetings.


I know people disagree but I think it speaks volumes that the chair was trying to get me to stay and it really felt like they were trying to sell the program to me again.

Nevertheless I guess I'm glad I prepared for it and overreacted rather than undereactred.

Bahahahaha you do realize that after medical school is over not a single person gives a #%$^ how you did in medical school or how competitive you were right? You clearly care, but if you were as competitive as you seem to think you were then how'd you fall down so far on your list? Nobody's selling you on anything, they're dotting Is and crossing Ts to fire you with no issues after your 45th day. Won't feel bad if it happens after this thread

 

[NITRAS]

I just wanted to say, that I went to the bottom of my match list. I was the only American grad in my program.

I worked hard, made friends, and was grateful for the education and training I received. I highly suggest the OP learn gratitude and recognize his/her entitled attitude. Will benefit you in multiple areas of your life, not just career.

And, you need to be the uber exemplary resident. Early to every thing, excellent with communications, nice to the admins, and responsive to instruction.

 

[Big Time Hoosier]

Yeah overall I think many of the posters here overreacted a bit

Big Hoss

 

[AlbinoHawk DO]

I think your sarcasm meter might be broken, OP.

Even if the program is as horrible as you say it is, no chief or program director has such low self esteem that they would attempt to sell an intern who just insulted them via email and lied about the fact afterwards on their program. The fact that you continue to interpret the situation as such and you think that our lack of context on your medical school performance (which apparently was so great that you landed at this horrible program) caused the experienced posters on this thread to overreact, speaks far more about your own issues than anything else. Please wipe the first two sentences of this post from your thoughts for the sake of your future career if you hope to have one.

OP being so amazing makes me wonder why they didn't make it anywhere else but the place that he considers beneath him

 

[Robin-jay]

The OP is so liked at his residency, that after the OP leaves residency there, the hospital will probably be re-named "Qpworueury" hospital. I can't wait to eat at the "Qpworueury" hospital cafe.

 

[RangerBob]

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Qpworueury.

In the Beginning there was nothing. Then Qpworueury roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.

If you spell Qpworueury in Scrabble, you win. Forever. (seriously though--that's a lot of points)

When Qpworueury said, “Let there be light!” Qpworueury said, “Say Please.”

Couldn't help myself.

We wish you all the best OP, but please be careful and stay in very close touch with mentors/advisors who can help guide/steer you throughout training.

 

[GoSpursGo]

Ok I think this thread has clearly run it’s course. OP feel free to update us later in a new thread if that would be helpful