No, you're not. And neither was I, when I was in your position as a GMO.
I used to feel exactly as you do, and indeed if you search the archives of SDN you can surely find a post or three from me, circa late 2005 or 2006, in which I wrote something very similar to this:
Yep, here I am, posting almost exactly what you just wrote, on Jan 1st, 2006:There I was, arguing with orbitsurgMD. He was right, I was wrong.
I too had good resources and help available locally most of the time when my unit was at home. But there are two issues here:
1) As someone incompletely trained, knowing when to ask for help is not always easy. In retrospect, looking back at my own GMO days, there were times when I should've referred patients. It's also impossible to know what I may have missed due to incomplete training because by definition, when you miss something you don't know it. That's why it's a miss.
2) MOST of the time is not ALL of the time. When deployed, I spent significant periods essentially alone. Looking back, I did things that were unwise and I was lucky. They seemed like reasonable options at the time; sometimes they were my only option. On a handful of occasions I did things way outside my appropriate scope of care on local nationals who were denied CASEVAC but needed someone to step up. I caught a few big issues in my Marines that I came close to missing. I don't think I missed anything big. I hope I didn't, anyway.
Don't get defensive or angry; I'm not criticizing you. You're doing your best with the training you have, as gastrapathy and I and every other GMO did and does. GMOs are fortunate to have a healthy patient population, but there is real pathology out there, and expecting a bunch of glorified interns to catch and refer it all is asking a lot. Too much, in fairness to everyone involved.
I'm now a few years out of residency, board certified in a non primary care field. I excelled as a resident and unless I'm missing some snickers behind my back, I'm a solid attending with the respect of my colleagues. If I got orders to serve as a GMO tomorrow, I would not feel competent to step into that kind of practice. Part of that is rust - it's been a very long time since I've seen a clinic patient. But part of it is simply recognition of how important residency is. I don't have enough primary care training.
It's not just a specific body of knowledge. For GMOs, one of the biggest gaps the absence of residency training creates is simply that they miss out on gradually increasing autonomy over time in a safe environment. Good judgment develops over time, with supervision, coaching, and mentorship. The board certified guy down the hall or across the base as your backup consultant in GMO-land is not there to teach, supervise, coach, or mentor you. They're not the same safety net attendings are during residency.