Advice Request

[powersellingmom]

(After rereading this I've realized that I haven't made adequately clear anywhere that I am an undergraduate hoping to one day get into an MD/PhD program, so I'm putting it here.)

I've had a rough year, with the fault resting on nobody's shoulders but my own. I need to make a decision now though on the direction I head, and I'm hoping you can help. Here's where I'm at:


Cumulative GPA at end of year 2 - 3.92
Year 2/3 summer GPA - 3.83
Year 3 fall GPA - 3.43
Year 3 winter -
Between December and late February I went through what I have to imagine was genuine clinical depression. In consideration of your time and my own neurosis/fixation with hyper-anonymity I'll spare you the detailed pathos. When I snapped out of it (I don't believe this is the right way to put it but I'm at a loss here), I was failing all of my classes. I decided after going over the syllabuses again that two classes out of three were salvageable, one because the lowest exam is dropped at the end and the other because we had only completed about 25-30% of the class points. In the third one, however, I was doomed to no better than a C+ no matter how stellar of a job I did on the last exam and final, so I dropped it for a WP.

I've worked hard since then. My grades are higher and I recognize the familiar feeling of actually understanding the material. I was set to take my second exam at 8 A.M. this morning (the one that would replace my F in the class I mentioned earlier), and my alarm clock failed. I actually woke up at 8:01 on my own (I'm not religious, but considering my sleep schedule and how this last week has been, that was a message from god), put on my pants and shoes, ran out the door, and made it with less than 2 minutes before the end of the exam in the hopes that the professor would reconsider his no make-up policy when I clearly had no contact with others that took the test. I wouldn't be making this post if he had said yes, but there also may be a silver lining because I've had some doubt regarding my future as well and this prompted me to consider it heavily and take action in seeking advice.

Which leads me to my two questions.
1. Can I afford to drop another class in the same semester? I was enrolled in four total, and if I drop it I'll basically have two WP's, one A or A-, and one directed study(research) which I think shows up as a Y until you graduate (at which point I expect an A). My other choice is to stick it out, but anything higher than a B- is unlikely.

2. I believe doubts I had about wanting to go to medical school strongly contributed to my depression. What really caused these doubts weren't the time commitment or a lack of interest or anything like that, but just looking around the room in my medical school prerequisite classes. I admit I'm a pretty weird person, but I was really hoping that at medical school I would be around people I could relate to, at least better than the average person off the street. Most of the people I meet that are pre-med or have that I have the displeasure of being within earshot of strike me as egotistical, shallow, and completly uninterested in anything besides grades, rank, salary, and planning which year of medical school they will take off to get married or how many kids they will have by their dermatology residency. If this comes off as snooty or elitist to anybody I'm sorry. Part of me says I should just keep my nose in the books and not worry about anybody else, especially considering there are people you won't get along with no matter where you are in life. Part of me wonder's if heading to a demanding 8 year program in a place where I know nobody and have no one to fall back on is a good decision. Now that I've written this I'm not even entirely sure what my question is. If you could just share any similar experiences or thoughts to ease my concerns, or just call me a pretentious sh*thead, I'd be really thankful

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[delirium81]

That's a tough situation. I'm assuming that when you say that your year 3 fall GPA is a 3.43, you mean that's your cumulative GPA including the fall quarter? If you think you're likely to get less than a B-, then I might drop it. Otherwise, I guess the question is whether or not a B- in that class will make your cumulative GPA look worse than another WP would look to an admissions committee. You might want to try to guess at what your overall GPA would be after your 4th year with or without that B- and see how much of a difference it makes. I'm guessing that, overall, it won't make a huge difference and it would be better to keep the course.

Regarding your doubts about med school, don't let a bunch of neurotic self-entitled people dictate your decision. Not all medical students are jerks. Ultimately your med school class will consist of a few jerks, some kind, caring, impressively wonderful people, and your MD/PhD cohort (who tend to be impressively wonderful at a higher rate, but I'm biased). The latter is probably the most important since they're the ones you'll be with for the whole journey. Really though, the medical world is a lot bigger than the few obnoxious pre-meds that you're currently focusing on. Maybe try to get out there and find some MD/PhDs with whom you can talk about their careers. Find some MDs in various specialties with whom you can talk about their careers. Get some experience volunteering in a hospital and/or shadowing a doctor. These are the experiences that should dictate whether you want to pursue the MD portion of an MD/PhD, not a few obnoxious pre-meds.

Regarding location and having people to fall back on, are there no MD/PhD programs close to friends or family for you? Ultimately only you can decide if you could deal with being far away from a known support system, but keep in mind that it is possible to develop a new support system in a new location. I moved across the country and knew no one in my new city and was in a bi-coastal relationship for my first year of the program. I was admittedly pretty miserable the first year. However, I made friends here, and my significant other, now husband, was able to move out here eventually. Anyway, it can work out on the social/support system end of the equation. For now, maybe just work on figuring out which part, if any, of an MD/PhD is right for you.

 

[powersellingmom]

Sorry, I guess that wasn't clear. My cumulative GPA as of now is 3.85.

I talked to the professor in the class I was considering dropping today, and he thinks that a B- is likely, but a B isn't entirely impossible (although it would require a grade on the final that nobody's gotten so far since he's been teaching the class). I did some calculations on how this would affect my GPA and it looks like it would take me down to the 3.79 - 3.81 range. Not the end of the world, but I certainly have more than a B- understanding of the material. Because I decided to wait and take my MCAT this summer, I'll have another year after finishing my degree, and because my research advisor has suggested that she could hire me as a sort of lab-manager, I would be staying at the university anyways and could easily ace it the second time around.

Do you think it would be better to continue with the class (final drop day is Saturday), knowing that my grade will be in the B/B-/C+ range, or have two withdrawals in the same semester?

 

[delirium81]

Ending up in the 3.79 range is so not even something to worry about. It's not the kind of number that would hurt your application at all. If you can end up with at least a B- in this course, I think having another withdrawal on your application would hurt you more.

 

[Neuronix]

1 or 2 Ws scattered throughout a transcript is no big deal. When you start getting into the 3+ range or they're clustered in a semester, it becomes a red flag. This is even more true if I look at person's transcript and they only took 4 classes that semester. It's one thing if they were in a bad car accident or something like that, but mental illness is never an excuse for programs, only a liability. A 3.79 overall is not a bad GPA, and you still have time to pull it up further. If you're pretty sure you can get a B or B-, do that.

2. I believe doubts I had about wanting to go to medical school strongly contributed to my depression. What really caused these doubts weren't the time commitment or a lack of interest or anything like that, but just looking around the room in my medical school prerequisite classes. I admit I'm a pretty weird person, but I was really hoping that at medical school I would be around people I could relate to, at least better than the average person off the street. Most of the people I meet that are pre-med or have that I have the displeasure of being within earshot of strike me as egotistical, shallow, and completly uninterested in anything besides grades, rank, salary, and planning which year of medical school they will take off to get married or how many kids they will have by their dermatology residency. If this comes off as snooty or elitist to anybody I'm sorry. Part of me says I should just keep my nose in the books and not worry about anybody else, especially considering there are people you won't get along with no matter where you are in life. Part of me wonder's if heading to a demanding 8 year program in a place where I know nobody and have no one to fall back on is a good decision. Now that I've written this I'm not even entirely sure what my question is. If you could just share any similar experiences or thoughts to ease my concerns, or just call me a pretentious sh*thead, I'd be really thankful

Pre-meds grow up to be medical students, residents, and then doctors. If you don't like your peers now, that's not going to change.

Also, not going to medical school should not cause depression. There are a lot of potential careers out there, and this is one of the points of undergraduate education. Hitting a setback or self-doubt should not cause you to become depressed. If that continues to happen, you will be in trouble in the future, because believe me, MD/PhD training and residency is HARD. You need to work on your issues.