afraid of success?

[slowlybutshelly]

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Anyone else here besides me afraid of success? I mean I have passed more tests than most people out there can do. And I have everyone here as peers, but I just feel that there is always some crazy prof/etc who just wants people to fail. Or maybe I just dont feel like I deserve this because I was the child of a mother with Asperger's who never thought I could get this far.

I feel like I underachieve on some of these standardized tests because of this feeling and I am trying to shuck it.

I mean what if I open up my Step 2ck scores? I will be an M.D. How did that happen?

 

[peppy]

I think it's kind of weird for a lot of people when they graduate med school and first realize they're a doctor. Then you realize, oh hey, doctors are just normal people like everyone else. 🙂
Of course you deserve this. I'm sure that like all of us you've gone through your share of hard work and sacrifice to make it to this point. 🙂 Didn't you say in another post that you were in the Peace Corps?
Hope that everything works out with step 2 ck!

 

[Golding]

Definitely been there. Never to the extreme that I was afraid to look at exam results (they don't change by not looking at them, and if you delay looking at them you're only delaying the ability to remedy anything that might have gone wrong).

As interviews are winding down and I'm becoming more and more aware that one of these places will be my job for the next few years... it's a scary thought. It's hard to imagine being on call and having an ICU full of people ready to die on me. It's hard to imagine having traumas come in that I might need to assess. But I think this is the kind of job that you need to throw yourself into the fire, work your way out, and then you can look back and wonder "How did I do that?" Worrying from the start "How am I going to do this?" will only make you timid and will work against you.

Allow yourself to move forward, and just read your CK results.

 

[slowlybutshelly]

Yes I was Peace Corps Malawi 1990-92. Lived in the mozambican refugee camps when the Mozambican civil war was just ending.

Yes, it is freaky being called a doctor. My parents and sister talk to me as if I am another species. All it is is education and debt no one else wanted to pursue. My mother was scared to get certified in anything, so she never did anything other than raise children.

All an M.D. is is an education to help people. That's it. Why do people (especially some personality disorders) put docs on a pedestal?

 

[slowlybutshelly]

So I went to the site. I saw the pdf and I did not/ could not open it. I do not know how I can do this. All I did was go to my 'recall notes'; everything I remembered from my exam. There was some really really easy stuff; and there was some really really really hard stuff. No pharm; I studied a lot of oncology. I feel so stuck. It's like I am waiting for someone to tell me my career is over or that I can go forward.