An unforeseen problem, need serious advice only

[Psai]

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Because?

Because you're a premed.

 

[WillburCobb]

Because you're a premed.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[TreadLightly]

Because you're a premed.

What could possibly go wrong?

 

[touchpause13]

Because you're a premed.

 

[Psai]

It may come as a surprise that premeds would know nothing about medical school but somehow that always seems to be the case. Somehow the inexperience and immaturity never fails to shine through.

 

[gumdrops]

+1 to this. If she has an ounce of normal in her, then she will move on too eventually (6 months is long, but not too long). Please don't let her keep you from attending a school you love...

This girl calls and texts 10-15 times a day. There is no ounce of normal there.

 

[SunsFun]

It may come as a surprise that premeds would know nothing about medical school but somehow that always seems to be the case. Somehow the inexperience and immaturity never fails to shine through.

I love your dedication to putting premeds down at every opportunity you get on pre-allo forum. Reminds me of a random high schooler sibling bullying middle schoolers on their playground.

 

[gumdrops]

Yeah, you're dealing with a narcissistic personality type who is unused to rejection. They go insane when they don't get what they want. You're right to just keep ignoring her. This type looks for ANY reaction so she may even see legal action as a positive response. She'll likely go through a bunch of the dudes in your class in medical school for validation and end up cheating on the next guy who ends up with her. That's how this story has ended with similar girls in my friends' med school classes. 😉

 

[Microglia]

Hey Everyone,

I was accepted to my 2nd choice and rejected from my 1st choice, so I am pretty much set on where I am going next fall. Everything about the school is great (great curriculum, location, faculty, research opportunities) except for one thing- my ex-girlfriend was accepted to the same school, and fully intends on matriculating. It would be fine if the break-up was amicable, but sadly, it was (and still is) a disaster. We split about 6 months ago, and I have moved on with my life, but she can't seem to let go. She still calls me 2-3 tiomes per day and sends me 10-15 daily texts. I try to block her but she calls from unknown numbers and such. I am afraid that this will inhibit me from succeeding in medical school. What should I do? In undergrad, if I wanted to avoid someone at school, it was totally doable. Is this how it is in med school? Would our paths cross much? Again, I am set on going to this school. Any advice and/or insight is appreciated.

If she makes a good first impression on other girls, she could turn the whole med school class against you and make them think you're the crazy stalker. Just a possibility (that I may or may not see happen to unfortunate people who dated classmates in my class). Usually whoever is the most charismatic keeps the med school on their side.

tl;dr Never ever ever date a med school classmate.. as a population I'd say med school students have a well above average amount of highly neurotic people in general who are just too crazy and/or self-absorbed when it comes to their personal life. Too late in your case but consider the possibility that people will believe that you're the crazy one..

My suggestion: Date someone in a less crazy field

 

[Microglia]

It may come as a surprise that premeds would know nothing about medical school but somehow that always seems to be the case. Somehow the inexperience and immaturity never fails to shine through.

Agree that the amount of gossip in med school is insane, disagree that it's unique to female med students, disagree that premed is an insult. Get over the need to "educate" the lowly premeds, you were them probably not that long ago and to a resident you still are. To faculty, a resident still is. We work in a 100% hierarchical system and if you don't respect the people at the stage below you, you don't deserve respect from those above you.

 

[gumdrops]

If she makes a good first impression on other girls, she could turn the whole med school class against you and make them think you're the crazy stalker. Just a possibility (that I may or may not see happen to unfortunate people who dated classmates in my class). Usually whoever is the most charismatic keeps the med school on their side.

tl;dr Never ever ever date a med school classmate.. as a population I'd say med school students have a well above average amount of highly neurotic people in general who are just too crazy and/or self-absorbed when it comes to their personal life. Too late in your case but consider the possibility that people will believe that you're the crazy one..

My suggestion: Date someone in a less crazy field

This kind of girl never makes a good impression on other girls. They're often too self-absorbed and crazy (haha, perfect combination of adjectives you used there) for girls to bear with them for too long. They make bad friends because female friendships are based on sharing and empathy and these sorts of girls fail in both departments. Girls also get the label of "crazy" much faster (a whole other sociological Pandora's Box there). He looks like Tom Cruise and sounds pretty chill so I doubt he'll experience social repercussions from the crazy ex. If anything, he may get a social boost from having dated one of the hot chicks in the class.

 

[WTFRichard]

If she makes a good first impression on other girls, she could turn the whole med school class against you and make them think you're the crazy stalker. Just a possibility (that I may or may not see happen to unfortunate people who dated classmates in my class). Usually whoever is the most charismatic keeps the med school on their side.

tl;dr Never ever ever date a med school classmate.. as a population I'd say med school students have a well above average amount of highly neurotic people in general who are just too crazy and/or self-absorbed when it comes to their personal life. Too late in your case but consider the possibility that people will believe that you're the crazy one..

My suggestion: Date someone in a less crazy field

Thanks for the response. I agree, I don't think it would be a good idea to date a classmate, especially in med school. Unfortunately, if we go to the same school I'll have an ex in the class

 

[dancingparadox]

OP, I second those who say that you should speak with a counselor before taking any decisions, as a trained professional will be able to give you much better advice after getting a better idea of what's going on!

Also, I really don't see why it isn't possible to give advice to OP without drawing conclusions that reach far beyond the little info given in his original post (that his ex is mentally unstable), that are entirely irrelevant (about her looks, etc), and that basically assume that we have a clear picture of what is going on.

I also don't see why people are insinuating that OP's ex is going to lie about him stalking her, when only 11-12% of stalking reports are false. And for those of you who think that women are more likely to be believed than men in this arena, that may or may not have credibility depending on the officer in question, but that's in a system where women are routinely disbelieved and blamed by police and other officials for their own situations and the vast majority of incidents aren't even reported.

 

[Blizzard18]

I revoke my prior comment. Just don't let an ex control any part of your life. Do what it best for you and don't even consider what they are doing. It's all about you and whoever your next love is, not the last one. I got lucky enough to get over my ex and meet the woman of my dreams.

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

Also, I really don't see why it isn't possible to give advice to OP without drawing conclusions that reach far beyond the little info given in his original post (that his ex is mentally unstable), that are entirely irrelevant (about her looks, etc), and that basically assume that we have a clear picture of what is going on.

I think it is very clear that this is a relationship with unhealthy attachments and immaturity, and that it is causing the OP significant emotional distress. It also seems, from the perspective we are seeing (i.e. his) that she in particular is exhibiting some very concerning behavior. If we take the OP at his word, this would likely qualify as stalking. Now if I had to hazard a guess I would say that there is at least some contribution from the OP to the situation (e.g. continuing to Snapchat, etc). But when it is a young, immature couple, that's not particularly surprising.

So most people are taking the OP in good faith that he is being accurate with us, and basing the advice on that.

I also don't see why people are insinuating that OP's ex is going to lie about him stalking her, when only 11-12% of stalking reports are false. And for those of you who think that women are more likely to be believed than men in this arena, that may or may not have credibility depending on the officer in question, but that's in a system where women are routinely disbelieved and blamed by police and other officials for their own situations and the vast majority of incidents aren't even reported.

Thank you for adding some clarity to the situation with the help of the ever-authoratative wiki links. 11-12% is a pretty significant number of false reports, no?

I think people are insinuating that the OP's ex might lie because, in particular, it is a behavior exhibited by people with borderline personality disorder or other personality disorders, a well as by people with attachment issues and disordered relationships. Both of which are concerns based on the OP's story.

It is also important to point out the distinction between might and will. People are basing their advice off of avoiding the worst case scenario, and encouraging the OP to be thoughtful about each action he takes from here on out. Recklessly threatening legal action that he is not pursuing is tossing a live grenade into the situation. It's important to consider the consequences of that.

 

[Psai]

I love your dedication to putting premeds down at every opportunity you get on pre-allo forum. Reminds me of a random high schooler sibling bullying middle schoolers on their playground.

It wasn't an insult. It was pointing out the fact that if you're not in medical school, you're not in medical school.

 

[Ashley1989]

It may come as a surprise that premeds would know nothing about medical school but somehow that always seems to be the case. Somehow the inexperience and immaturity never fails to shine through.

Clearly, medical students can also be immature, wouldn't you agree? If you don't, you are obviously inexperienced.

 

[ulikedaggers]

Clearly, medical students can also be immature, wouldn't you agree? If you don't, you are obviously inexperienced.

Only med students will understand how detrimental a distraction like a crazy ex can be to your academic performance and overall well-being in the med school environment.

OP what's the class size? Small class = bigger problems from your ex.

 

[Ashley1989]

Only med students will understand how detrimental a distraction like a crazy ex can be to your academic performance and overall well-being in the med school environment.

OP what's the class size? Small class = bigger problems from your ex.

I agree, but look at what the person who I was responding to used that response to in the previous page. It was not about the OPs original question. 🙂

 

[Psai]

I agree, but look at what the person who I was responding to used that response to in the previous page. It was not about the OPs original question. 🙂

The gossip that goes on is relevant to OP. You see the same small group of people everyday and you will probably have many of the same friends. If you're partnered up for groupwork or on the wards...

 

[ulikedaggers]

I agree, but look at what the person who I was responding to used that response to in the previous page. It was not about the OPs original question. 🙂

They definitely aren't being nice about it, but what they are saying has a lot of truth. The social environment of med school is more like high school than it is college. People talk, a lot, and everyone knows everything about everyone especially if your school has small class sizes. I'm typically against making big life decisions based on your SO (or ex) unless you are engaged or married. However, med school is annoying enough on its own and coming in with serious baggage is not something I recommend.

Pre-meds see OP's problem as "Should I or should I not hide from my crazy ex?"
Med students see OP's problem as "Should I potentially sacrifice my career options so I can attend my second favorite (as perceived by a pre-med based on internet research and a half-day interview) med school?"

 

[touchpause13]

OP, I second those who say that you should speak with a counselor before taking any decisions, as a trained professional will be able to give you much better advice after getting a better idea of what's going on!

Also, I really don't see why it isn't possible to give advice to OP without drawing conclusions that reach far beyond the little info given in his original post (that his ex is mentally unstable), that are entirely irrelevant (about her looks, etc), and that basically assume that we have a clear picture of what is going on.

I also don't see why people are insinuating that OP's ex is going to lie about him stalking her, when only 11-12% of stalking reports are false. And for those of you who think that women are more likely to be believed than men in this arena, that may or may not have credibility depending on the officer in question, but that's in a system where women are routinely disbelieved and blamed by police and other officials for their own situations and the vast majority of incidents aren't even reported.

Thanks for this information. For the record I was coming from the POV of a victim advocate, and have seen stalkers and abusers manipulate the police into thinking that *they* are the victims. But to your credit I don't have a whole heck of a lot experience with male victims and you are very correct that police can be very hostile towards women reporting stalking and abuse.