married2md

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Jan 7, 2002
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...and I need to vent. I am married to a 4th year med student and ever since the semester began last week, I have found that I am EXTREMELY distracted by thoughts of what will happen in March. I can't concentrate at work, knowing that I might not be there in a few months. My thoughts are constantly jumping from one thing to another-- like about the potential places we could be moving and where we will live in each of them and what job I might be able to get...it goes on and on! I am excited about the prospect of moving, but I hate all this not knowing. I just want to get on with the 'next stage' and I'm not being very patient, I'm afraid! I need some help coping! Those of you who have been in my shoes, how did you survive?!?? Thanks in advance.
 

Wifty

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I definately understand your frustrations! :)

Although we aren't at the 'match' point yet, we just completed the application/interview/acceptance process to get into med school. (we meaning hubby and I...him being the student, me being the helpful wife. LOL)

It was scary and frustrating not knowing what would happen, if he would get in, where, and if we were just throwing money down the drain.

I don't mind the adventure of moving (except packing and finding a house long distance), but I hated not knowing where we would be....or even if we would be anywhere.

And I REALLY hated that I had little control over the path my life was going to take. :) That was the worst.

Coping-wise...I just thought postive thoughts and got some brochures about cities we might end up so that I could be excited about the new things there. And I kept telling myself that all this would be over soon....at least until match. LOL

Good luck!!
Rebecca aka Wifty
To the tune of Kansas City "going to Kirksville city, little kirksville here I come, they got crazy little people there, and I am going to be one."
 

Kimya

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I'm not a medical spouse, but when I was faced with a similar situation (i.e. uncertainty w/upcoming living situation) networking can help a little bit. Are there any professional associations that are connected to your work, or hobbies? Now might be the time to drop a note letting members in local chapters know you might be coming to the area, are there any recommendations they might have. Maybe you could start checking the job listings in the area and find some of the key organizations you might like to work for. That way, it doesn't seem like such a cold jump when you do go! And gaining contacts is never a bad thing, even if you don't end up going to the area.
 

im4real

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Hi there!

I went through this two years ago in Match 2000!! There is no real easy solution that I know. The best advice I can give is to keep focusing on what you are doing now because really you cannot control the fate of the Match!!! Did any of residency programs give you an idea of whether your spouse would get into the program. My husband was told that if he was really interested in a program to go and take a second look. That may not be feasible for all to fo this, but I would be writing thank you note and follow-ups to let them know that I am a solid candidate & that I desire their program!!! If I liked more than one program, then I would make them feel like they were number one. We were fortunate in that my husband had a good feel that he could get into his first or second choice; however, this is partly due to location & what specialty he is in. That eased my thoughts a little, but I too still had jitters about where the heck we were going... For us, it was looking into the schools & possible employment opportunites as well as financial stability while in residency. There is so much to consider. I wish I had an easy answer for you. All I know to do is keep busy & be content for where ever the chips lay. My best wishes go out to you!

Christy
 
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