Any other entering students nervous?

[Cheerfulgrrl]

So I have uncomfortably discovered that I am really nervous about going to school - which I have dreamed of and hoped for so long! Part of it is a feeling that my school must have made a mistake, and what if they figure it out?!?

Academically, I can handle the performance anxiety, it's the sudden little kid feelings about making friends and fitting in...It is so important to me to be a positive, supportive member of a team, but what if I'm like that last kid waiting to be chosen for dodge ball? B/C I am older, or (more likely) just because I am such a dork!

Anyone?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[thirdunity]

You'll be fine

It's perfectly natural to have those anxieties.

You'll find that at our age (although I'm not sure how old you are), though, you WON'T "fit in". Most of the students are 18-20s.

And you won't "fit in" with the other non-trads because non-trads don't fit in with each other... we're all there minding our own business trying to get through school.

Know what this is?

It's liberating!

The thing about making friends and fitting in - as a non-traditional age student, this pressure is finally off. You're not going to fit in no matter what you do because of age, so you'll find you won't even bother - and you'll just focus on your studies.

For the first time, you can go to school without worrying about whether or not you're wearing designer label clothes, whether or not some boy in class likes you, or whether or not you'll get picked for some team.

This time, you'll do WAY better in school than you did as a traditional-age student.

You'll see.

 

[Cheerfulgrrl]

You'll be fine

It's perfectly natural to have those anxieties.

You'll find that at our age (although I'm not sure how old you are), though, you WON'T "fit in". Most of the students are 18-20s.

And you won't "fit in" with the other non-trads because non-trads don't fit in with each other... we're all there minding our own business trying to get through school.

Know what this is?

It's liberating!

The thing about making friends and fitting in - as a non-traditional age student, this pressure is finally off. You're not going to fit in no matter what you do because of age, so you'll find you won't even bother - and you'll just focus on your studies.

For the first time, you can go to school without worrying about whether or not you're wearing designer label clothes, whether or not some boy in class likes you, or whether or not you'll get picked for some team.

This time, you'll do WAY better in school than you did as a traditional-age student.

You'll see.

Thank you so much for your wonderful reply! That is just the attitude adjustment I needed. I think part of the stress has been just the surprise to find myself so lacking in confidence - not my normal self. BTW, I just turned 34 a few days ago (indeed maybe having a bday has more to do with this then I think....)

I really really appreciate your message - going to print it out and keep it!

 

[Dorise04]

Thank you so much for your wonderful reply! That is just the attitude adjustment I needed. I think part of the stress has been just the surprise to find myself so lacking in confidence - not my normal self. BTW, I just turned 34 a few days ago (indeed maybe having a bday has more to do with this then I think....)

I really really appreciate your message - going to print it out and keep it!

Hi
I just wanted to say that I am a single mom and 21 years old. I am nervous about starting school. What for you might ask? I am starting out at a cc and alot of kids my age probably don't have kids and can't relate to how serious school is to me. I have one little boy who's will be 3 in june. Young mother has set me apart from my peers. I don't go to the club, have a new bf every other week and I find myself making friends with older people. I have a hard making friends.

 

[samenewme]

Hi
I just wanted to say that I am a single mom and 21 years old. I am nervous about starting school. What for you might ask? I am starting out at a cc and alot of kids my age probably don't have kids and can't relate to how serious school is to me. I have one little boy who's will be 3 in june. Young mother has set me apart from my peers. I don't go to the club, have a new bf every other week and I find myself making friends with older people. I have a hard making friends.

Try to form study groups, say hi to the other students, and ask them about their life. There are a lot of young serious students, too. Sometimes we have just as many stereotypes about them as they have about us. It's not always true. You may find other single moms. You may find, as I have, several young women who are first-generation college students. You'd better believe they're serious, as the weight of their whole families lies on their shoulders--especially the ones who are also immigrants. Don't let your worries cloud your eyes. There are all sorts of people in your classes. You just don't know them yet.

 

[pingouin]

Try to form study groups, say hi to the other students, and ask them about their life. There are a lot of young serious students, too. Sometimes we have just as many stereotypes about them as they have about us. It's not always true. You may find other single moms. You may find, as I have, several young women who are first-generation college students. You'd better believe they're serious, as the weight of their whole families lies on their shoulders--especially the ones who are also immigrants. Don't let your worries cloud your eyes. There are all sorts of people in your classes. You just don't know them yet.

I also had concerns about going back, fitting in, etc, but at my school the non-trads appear to gravitate toward one another. Totally agree with samenewme- open up, start talking to some other people in your classes. I started ugrad many years ago as pre-med, but dropped by the end of freshman year and wound up with a bachelors and masters in social work. I decided to start the pre-med process over again in January, and found myself scoping out the class for who else was older. Started talking to another older student after class one day- who said she had looked around the first day, saw myself and several other students and said "that's who I want to be lab partners with!!!" Didn't work out this semester, but we're registering for the same classes in the fall and keeping our fingers crossed. As for fitting in with the traditional ugrad students, my experience has been pretty good- lab partners who have said "now WHY are you here?" and then responded with "oh. well that's cool." I'm not going to be going out clubbing with them by any means , but we're definitely equals in class/lab.

 

[laurafinn]

I think I'm more amused than worried about the "not fitting in." As a 35-year-old American, I'll be joining a class of 19-year-old New Zealand veterinary students. I really have no expectations. One thing's for sure, it'll be a trip!

I'm looking forward to focusing a lot of energy on my studies and not worrying too much about the social part, which will work itself out. I think I'm going to try to find a roommate my age, maybe a postdoc or someone who's otherwise affiliated with the university.

Laura

 

[Em&M]

You'll be fine

It's perfectly natural to have those anxieties.

You'll find that at our age (although I'm not sure how old you are), though, you WON'T "fit in". Most of the students are 18-20s.

And you won't "fit in" with the other non-trads because non-trads don't fit in with each other... we're all there minding our own business trying to get through school.

Know what this is?

It's liberating!

The thing about making friends and fitting in - as a non-traditional age student, this pressure is finally off. You're not going to fit in no matter what you do because of age, so you'll find you won't even bother - and you'll just focus on your studies.

For the first time, you can go to school without worrying about whether or not you're wearing designer label clothes, whether or not some boy in class likes you, or whether or not you'll get picked for some team.

This time, you'll do WAY better in school than you did as a traditional-age student.

You'll see.

Well said!

It's so true.

As an undergrad, when all that I cared about was friends, parties and having a good time, I never studied and hence, here I am today, 7 years later, trying to put all of the pieces back together.

Sure, I got my degree...barely. I really did think that I was just not cut out for medicine or science. Now, I am back in school taking some more science courses to up that blasted gpa. Guess what? I am getting straight A's... who knew?

I think that being older=being more focused. I am also a single mother and I work full time in a research lab. I have learned to prioritize my time and I have learned how to focus hardcore.

Sometimes I too, look out over the sea of fresh young faces in my classes and wonder what my path would have been like had I been where I am now...then. But it doesn't bother me the way that I thought it would. The kids in my classes know that I am serious. Way serious. They often come to me (instead of the TA's) and ask me questions before lectures because they know for certain that I have done my homework!

It really makes me feel good and it makes me stand out and when I am asking for letters of rec. from profs and others, it is this maturity that will set me apart.

In the end, I have many friends. I have a family, I have a job, I volunteer. I am not in school right now to be "popular", I am in school because I have a goal that is bigger than all of that and I intend to achieve it!

Best of Luck. You will find that you will drum up automatic respect just by being older. Most will assume that you must be super serious and smart to have "changed your mind" and persued medicine.

 

[Dorise04]

Thanks

 

[njbmd]

Hi there,
One of the most valuable assets that I had as a non-traditional student, was that I really didn't "care" too much about "fitting in" socially. My total focus was on doing the best that I could academically and mastering the materials and subject matter that I needed to learn. In the end, it paid off well for me. I found that while my traditional colleagues were constantly measuring themselves by their grades and social life, I got the grades and social life. It is amazing how "not worrying" about my performance actually made performing well much easier.

My total concentration was on being the best student. I was always prepared for class and I put major emphasis on learning how to learn efficiently. In the end, I found that I could master almost anything fairly quickly. By being the most efficient and most effective student, I found that others sought me out more than I had to seek out others. I always had one of the largest study groups and I helped anyone who asked. In the end, this helped me too.

Good luck!
njbmd

 

[QofQuimica]

I don't think fitting in with traditionals is such a big problem, either. My experience has been that they are pretty supportive of non-trads, and respect us for doing what we're doing, what with us being so old and decrepit. I joined AED this year, and it was a little weird at first, because I'm ten years older than the other members, and several of them are former students of mine. But they are actually quite supportive and encouraging, and I agree with njbmd and Em&M; they do include me in volunteering or academic activities, but not social ones, and they do seek me out for help with science and MCAT questions. (I could probably start up a tutoring business if I had more time. ) Plus they also help me with my application questions, so we all win in the end. Some of my students who have graduated and gone on to medical school even still keep in touch and check sporadically with me to see how I'm coming along. They suggest schools for me to apply to and keep telling me how great I'm going to do. I'm really touched by how kind they are, actually.

And there WILL be other older people; look at how many of us have found this site! I know one other research non-trad who is starting med school here this fall, and I have a few non-trad pen-pals from SDN, and it sure is nice to know I'm not alone.