I am a big OChem nerd, and a very visual learner. What I did, was make visual analogies. Most of you will think this is dorky, but those I have tutored have always laughed, but then said they get it.
I will use nucleophilic attack on methyl-halogen as ex. --picture the SN2 as a little old lady walking 3 small poodles (hydrogen) and a big irish wolfhound (halogen). The poodles are very close to the lady, so she can hold a very short leash with them and be able to control them. (the strong covalent bond btw carbon and hydrogen). However, the Irish wolfhound is too big to have a very short leash. In order to control the dog, the lady must have a longer leash (longer bond). The dog is very strong and tells to pull lady forward (electronegativity and good leaving group character of halogen). If the lady is not careful the dog will pull away (good leaving group). If the lady is walking in a bad neighborhood like a dark neighboorhood alley way in NYC, she has a greater likelihood of being attacked (SN2 characteristic Aprotic solvent).
Well, one night, the lady is walking her four dogs when someone with a very negative attitude comes up to the lady from behind (nucleophile). The lady is so started that she loses control of the wolfhound--the dog takes off running, leaving the lady, attacker and 3 poodles behind. The poodles are so tightly held by lady that they cannot run away, but do run to front --opposite side of attacker. (inversion of configuration).
Anyway, I have lots of analogies like this for SN2, E1, E2. If you don't already think I am completely crazy, email/PM me and I can give more.
For those of you who are O-chem geniuses, I know this is "oversimplifying" but it makes an easy to remember strategy because the mind works thinks in pictures. It has worked with some that I tutor, and it make learning fun. I know it may be stupid, but I love it!
Do whichever way works for you--hard memorization of diagrams, or fun analogies.
(Hence, I used to want to be fiction writer before going into health/science field)
Good luck!!