Anyone else frustrated with classmates?

[coffeeluver]

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Especially the girls? Why am I having a hard time making friends? I think I'm a friendly person. Guys tell me it's because I'm *attractive* (I'm not claiming to be), but I've always had a hard time making girlfriends. Anyone in the same boat or have any insight they can offer?

 

[Psycho Doctor]

Especially the girls? Why am I having a hard time making friends? I think I'm a friendly person. Guys tell me it's because I'm *attractive* (I'm not claiming to be), but I've always had a hard time making girlfriends. Anyone in the same boat or have any insight they can offer?

What school? Did you have orientation? If you are friendly and outgoing, but not obnoxious, it should work out. And as far as being good looking, perhaps girls can be jealous and catty but as long as you don't flaunt your good looks or keep mentioning attractiveness, etc, I don't see why it should be a problem. My gf is very attractive and she has no problem making girlfriends. I know of plenty of girls who don't have any problem and yet are very attractive by guys' standards.

 

[coffeeluver]

What school? Did you have orientation? If you are friendly and outgoing, but not obnoxious, it should work out. And as far as being good looking, perhaps girls can be jealous and catty but as long as you don't flaunt your good looks or keep mentioning attractiveness, etc, I don't see why it should be a problem. My gf is very attractive and she has no problem making girlfriends. I know of plenty of girls who don't have any problem and yet are very attractive by guys' standards.

Thanks for the reply. What is considered "flaunting"?

 

[Psycho Doctor]

Thanks for the reply. What is considered "flaunting"?

are you constantly brushing your hair, flipping your hair over your shoulders, putting on make-up, checking your appearance in the mirror, looking at your nails, commenting on your appearance or someone else's, making comparisons between people's appearances, talking about fashion, asking if you are attractive or mentioning that someone (a guy) said you are hot or attractive? If you constantly do any of these things, it can get annoying to others and cause people not to want to listen and therefore not be your friend.

Hey why don't you post your pic and let me and others see what might be the problem if it is because of your looks.

 

[dynx]

I'm so good looking and perfect in every way that I have a hard time making friends too, I think it's because everybody is so jealous of how awsome I am in every way...thats the obvious problem here.

 

[Blake]

PM me some pictures and I'll tell you what's wrong (or not) with you 😉

 

[coffeeluver]

I'm so good looking and perfect in every way that I have a hard time making friends too, I think it's because everybody is so jealous of how awsome I am in every way...thats the obvious problem here.

I knew this would happen. I didn't claim that looks were the problem...I'm just trying to find the underlying reason. I have friends, but it just takes awhile/forever for me to meet new girlfriends. Anyhow, I'm just trying to see if others are having a hard time making friends with their classmates--plain and simple.

 

[Faust]

I knew this would happen. I didn't claim that looks were the problem...I'm just trying to find the underlying reason. I have friends, but it just takes awhile/forever for me to meet new girlfriends. Anyhow, I'm just trying to see if others are having a hard time making friends with their classmates--plain and simple.

I did not know that people went to med school to make friends. Just focus on your studies everything will turn out fine.

 

[coffeeluver]

I did not know that people went to med school to make friends. Just focus on your studies everything will turn out fine.

Yeah, I know, that's what I keep telling myself. It's just hard when you see everyone at orientation being complete strangers and one week later, they're laughing and joking in the hallways, etc. It gets me thinking...when did this happen and where was I?

Okay, I'll stop. Thanks for reminding me what's important.

 

[VincentAdultman]

I did not know that people went to med school to make friends. Just focus on your studies everything will turn out fine.

I hope you're a MS1 cause that's a good recipe for losing your mind.

I've gone out MUCH more as a med student than I did in undergrad, but that's just me. You have to. Just too much stress.

 

[Chris127]

Yeah, I know, that's what I keep telling myself. It's just hard when you see everyone at orientation being complete strangers and one week later, they're laughing and joking in the hallways, etc. It gets me thinking...when did this happen and where was I?

Okay, I'll stop. Thanks for reminding me what's important.

lol coffee, I feel the same way. Of course, I am a freshman in college, and yeah I have friends here from HS, but it just seems difficult to meet new people. I'm in a dorm and all, and besides meeting my roommate (which wont develop into a lifelong friendship, trust me), for some reason it just feels like I have to go out of my way socially to meet someone. And I'm not exactly a social butterfly...

 

[Paws]

Hi Coffee,

Paws is a second year now and I felt the same way you did last year. I was really shocked at how really rough - even rude! - some of the women in my class were to me. Ouch! And I am not saying anything about looks or whatever. It's not about the "looks," it's about maturity, sensitivity and respect. And probably competition, sadly enough ...

Anyway, I made some decent friends with alot of guys in my class because they were kind, trustworthy and sincere for the most part. I also made a point of making friends with staff, clinicians in the hospital and anyone else - male or female - who was friendly and nice. Now, come second year I know who to avoid and I don't take the junior high cr@p from the girls seriously. It's sort of an immature behavior anyway. And what's with the 'must travel in a pack' mentality? I have some really good buds, mostly guys, get along well with my professors and I have alot of nice friends scattered around the school and in the hospital. I feel pretty rich. 🙂

Don't let it get you down, look for your friends where you can find them. A friendly face is what's important, and a reasonably reliable sense of trust and kindness. It takes time ... but others will be looking for you, too.

 

[njbmd]

Especially the girls? Why am I having a hard time making friends? I think I'm a friendly person. Guys tell me it's because I'm *attractive* (I'm not claiming to be), but I've always had a hard time making girlfriends. Anyone in the same boat or have any insight they can offer?

Hey there,
It's a new term and new surroundings for some folks. Give them a bit of time and things will come around. For most people, it's only the first week of class and folks are pretty stressed. Soon everyone will start hanging together if for no other reason than you get used to each other.
Good luck
njbmd 🙂

 

[superdevil]

Yeah, I know, that's what I keep telling myself. It's just hard when you see everyone at orientation being complete strangers and one week later, they're laughing and joking in the hallways, etc. It gets me thinking...when did this happen and where was I?

i feel this way, too. we have med student dorms where i go to school (can you figure out where? 😉 ), and the people who live there already act like they've been best friends for 20 years. every single day when i show up for class i feel like the "new guy" or something. very strange. there are some mitigating circumstances that partially explain this, but it still kinda sucks.

anyway, my plan is just to keep being as friendly as possible to anyone who will talk to me, get my school work taken care of, and in four more years, look back on this and wonder what the hell i was worried about in the first place. after all, that's exactly what happened in college. 🙂

good luck meeting people.

sd

 

[erin682]

Just give it time. I'm sort of a shy person at first so making lots of friends doesn't come really natural to me. I tried to start by making a few close friends. I studied with them and got comfortable with them. After a while I started going to more social events and getting to know more people. I'm now a few weeks into my second year and people that originally came off as snobby or whatever are now people I'll sit around and have conversation with. I still have my close friends but over time I've widened the group of people I feel comfortable with.

Anyway in short just give it time and don't judge to quickly. Everybody else is trying to scramble and feel included just like you while being stressed out with studies.

Good luck

 

[MedNut]

It's not you. Being a girl, I can tell you girls just suck when it comes to making quick friends. I am also a shy person who has a hard time meeting people. Know what I did? First day of orientation during our lunch break I saw a small group of nice people, both girls and guys, and told them I hate sitting by myself, mind if I join you? Soon I became friends with thier friends and found out they just met each other a few minutes ago as well. I would never have attempted this with a table full of girls only. Soon you will find who you are compatible with friends wise. Also, I'm a library studier. You will see your fellow classmates at the library. Just pull up a seat next too them and kind of introduce yourself to them. It seems really ballsy, but believe me, everyone is in the same boat. I knew not a single person and I am shy as heck, but when people are placed in the same situation, they tend to bond together because you have a common goal. Good luck and don't lose hope. Some of the best friendships take the longest to form. Also, if you have any student organizations, attend a meeting or two. Also, I found that guys don't have that same front that a lot of girls do. They don't have that "herd mentality" so to speak. So become friends with some males first and they will probably have female friends you will become aquainted with. Good luck!

 

[getunconcsious]

I did not know that people went to med school to make friends. Just focus on your studies everything will turn out fine.

Umm...that's a really dumb and bitchy thing to say, I hope you don't mean that.

Anyways yeah coffee, I would say just try to find people who think along your same lines. They're out there, you just have to find them. I found a few at my school, but it wasn't easy. Once you find some people who you can sit in class with and go to lunch with and stuff the rest of the class doesn't matter a whole lot. I've found that most people are cool, even if they're not your friend. As for people being truly bitchy, I have a few of those in my class too. I'm sure every class does. Just avoid them whenever you can, and try not to worry about it. Unless you go to some insanely tiny school there are a lot of people in your class and surely someone is cool. And if you end up hanging around mostly guys, so what? I hang around with mostly girls (i'm gay), and it doesn't bother me at all. You just have to do whatever is easiest for you, and screw what other people think.

 

[renox9]

It took me a while to make friends because I live off-campus when most of the people at my school live on campus. The best advice I can give you is to take things slowly, be yourself and try to get to know the people who seem fun.

 

[PiccoloPlaya]

What's wrong with being a hot girl? I just look at men and they want to impregnate me. 😀

 

[Elysium]

When I first went to orientation last year, I felt like it was summer camp. I really HATE that feeling of feeling like a total douche when everyone seems to have already "found" each other. I was going to school with a guy who was already a good friend of mine, so we hung out together during orientation. He's the biggest social butterfly on the planet so he would go over and talk to people and I would stand there like a *****. It was funny, in my small class (former class, to be accurate) all the Muslims found each other, the Mormons found each other, the married people found each other (mostly Mormons), people with kids found each other, Asians found each other, all within like 20 minutes. The people I ended up hanging out with were the ones who went to a sportsbar duing orientation and got drunk and then came back to orientation blitzed. Those are my kind of people...

Anyway, it did take awhile to find our "group" but eventually we did. And there are DEFINETLY cliques, no two ways about it. We all sat in the same part of the room (the back), went to the same places, went out to dinner, etc. We hardly ever saw the other groups socially. It's really weird when you think about it. Can't imagine living in a dorm with my classmates. I would have jumped out the goddamned window within a week. You're with the same people ALL THE TIME. Yikes.

Point is, it takes awhile to find your groove, but you will find it. And it is tough to make friends with chicks, no doubt about it. My best friend from med school ended up being a chick, but that's only because she has a very "male" mentality and she and I are two peas in a pod. Find some cool guys to hang out with and screw the bitchy chicks in your class.

Good luck!

 

[VincentAdultman]

screw the bitchy chicks in your class.

Words to live by indeed, but that's a good way to get a "reputation."