Are you waiting until med school to date?

[45408]

more like 40 years of virgins. ...wait what?

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[45408]

Next up: Law2Doc2Advicecolumnist

 

[Law2Doc]

Next up: Law2Doc2Advicecolumnist

If you can relate it to a med school oriented topic, I'm happy to comment.

 

[Quadratic]

women = time x money

time = money

women = money^2

money = root of all evil.

money^2 = evil.

women = evil.

...As for your point. There will never be another time in your life when you'll be surrounded by thousands of good looking, young women who are your age in a context that is, when you really look at it, as free of consequences as you'll ever have in life and as free of time as you'll ever have in your life..

Try to enjoy being an undergrad now. The future is the future.

This proof is really based on assumptions. To conclude it, we have to assume that the "root" of evil is the "square root." Well, what if it is the third root, or the fourth root? In general, the larger the root, the more it approaches 1. So as the root function goes to 1/infinity, the root goes to 1. Evil^1=evil. This means that girls=evil^2. Which doesn't help their case....

 

[Handy388]

the way I see it, girls are like atomic power. Everyone is freaking out by them, but only a selected few, like a nuclear physicist know how sweet it is to tap that power.

 

[TexasTriathlete]

the way I see it, girls are like atomic power. Everyone is freaking out by them, but only a selected few, like a nuclear physicist know how sweet it is to tap that power.

I think its safe to assume that the people on this thread don't know how to tap anything.

And it isn't anything like nuclear physics and splitting the atom. If it was, then I know a couple guys I used to bartend with who would win the nobel prize every year. Instead, they just get lots of antibiotics.

 

[Perfoman]

Like tap dance?

I think its safe to assume that the people on this thread don't know how to tap anything.

And it isn't anything like nuclear physics and splitting the atom. If it was, then I know a couple guys I used to bartend with who would win the nobel prize every year. Instead, they just get lots of antibiotics.

 

[zanaida10]

I guess it's not going to get any easier. I'm a girl and I've been in a committed relationship that I was to pursue, however I refuse point blank to give up medicine. I'll compromise on location and situations as much as I can but not on that. I sometimes fear he won't be able to handle the pressure of long distance that will be imposed once I get into medical school ect ect. And in the end, I wish I didn't have to make this decision. Your right to wait until medical school, because even if you've found the love of your life, sometimes it sucks to find them too early because you being a doctor is a self less endeavor but makes you a selfish person to love. I don't have enough time for family as much as I want, I get depressed that I'm not there to see my brother go through high school as much as I want, and I'm sad that I might lose the guy I love in the end because I couldn't ask him to sacrifice his passion for my passion. I wish I had met him when I was already in med school instead of undergrad, where you jsut can't be stable. I can't even imagine how impossible its going to be for a guy to live up to how perfect he is. Oh and before you all want to throw up, we break up once a month, fight enough to make anyone want to poison us and have been together for 3 years and I thought I loved him when I first met him and we had no problems, but after 3 years of problems, I'm happy. So just hope to find love after your settled, otherwise you won't be able to ask them not to pursue what they love and then you'll feel guilty and you might lose them. Any girls in this situation?

 

[nu2004]

And if she happens to be vegan, i don't care as long as she doesn't even THINK of turning me away from my juicy porterhouse steak (well done)

what are you, 12? who orders a steak well-done?

clearly, someone who knows nothing about steak.

 

[tourniquet1963]

what are you, 12? who orders a steak well-done?

clearly, someone who knows nothing about steak.

hmm you're right.. i like mine medium.. and now i want steak, and its not even 10am!

 

[sunny1]

what are you, 12? who orders a steak well-done?

clearly, someone who knows nothing about steak.

Medium rare is delish. Mmmm....

OP, I think it's ok if you don't have the time or money right now (as in, during finals or during a few busy weeks of school) to go out and mingle on the singles scene. I don't really even know what that would entail - it's been so long for me.

But you talk about your shield being up and barricading social relationships. If it's to the point where you do meet potential ladies and you still don't do anything about it or you are shutting yourself off to friendships, then I think that's a shame. Really, that's sad. I don't see how you could be so busy with school and work and stuff that you don't have one night a week you can go out.

Come summer I expect you to get out there. You're young, male, etc. Might as well have some fun even if you don't want to dedicate yourself to a long-term relationship right now.

Think of it this way: if you're poor now, living with your parents, and too busy as a premed...how exactly are you gonna have more time for a relationship and have more expendable income for dating once you're in med school and have to pay for your own place? Better start learning now how to balance it all instead of putting this off and then before you know it, you're still alone years later.

 

[katarzyna]

I don't think my 'rents are ever going to allow me to date. I've been taught that you only get to date after you finish college and you get a stable job which is good. Yeah, we're very conservative and I was not born here. Hmm, don't know. Most likely Pops wouldn't allow me, mum? probably? I have dated once and I was thirteen that time (didn't tell my parents and they found out and I got 3 hours of sermon from the top of my mom and pops lungs and a slap in the face. & i remember mum called me a *****? ) It's just out of curiosity and I thought it was alright during the time and I thought, "man this is stupid." and there I realized how teenagers choose to do wrong things so I stayed away from dating. Some guys have liked me and asked me out though returned their feelings, I never dated them. haha. I always think of the future ("It's not like I'm not going to get tired of this kid's presence one day. Why should I waste time? It's not like it's the end of the world and he's not the only guy.")

I pretty much dated once in my life and never attended prom.


Alright, I'm still a minor and I don't believe in high school love etc etc so I tell my high school friends, "nah don't date. you're just being delusional. one day you will get tired of that guy/girl, break up, you find someone else better and you'll be wasting time + money on him/her then repeat the cycle and why put on time + money that will be put to waste anyway?" I offended someone during my cousin's party cause I said "I don't want to date because I don't want to be stupid." I tried to tell a friend not to date some kid but I don't want her to hate me. I knew they were going to break up. and they did. lol. Too bad I wasn't there when it happened. She tells me it was "tragic" but I don't have much regard for it. lol.

I've "in-your-faced" this kid in my chem class and he's very intelligent too which is very good . He waited for me outside after class and tried to talk and in my head I was like "What the flip, GTFO!" I showed utter disinterest and was just responding "ahuh, yeah, sureeee, whatever." I responded perniciously to him. I'm always like that toward guys I like. I guess it's out of nervousness.

I know you guys are utterly more experienced in such matter than I am so after I read your posts, it got me thinking. (though that doesn't give a guarantee of me taking your advices.)

mehh I'm still a child. i'll probably wait till I turn a certain age and date. I think the chance of me getting settled with someone I date now is very low to zero... so methinks I mayest not date 'till a certain age.

 

[ShipsDr]

I think its safe to assume that the people on this thread don't know how to tap anything.

And it isn't anything like nuclear physics and splitting the atom. If it was, then I know a couple guys I used to bartend with who would win the nobel prize every year. Instead, they just get lots of antibiotics.

hahahahhaha.... took me about 20 seconds to figure that one out. but definitely worth the wait.

 

[sunny1]

I don't think my 'rents are ever going to allow me to date. I've been taught that you only get to date after you finish college and you get a stable job which is good. Yeah, we're very conservative and I was not born here. Hmm, don't know. Most likely Pops wouldn't allow me, mum? probably? I have dated once and I was thirteen that time (didn't tell my parents and they found out and I got 3 hours of sermon from the top of my mom and pops lungs and a slap in the face. & i remember mum called me a *****? ) It's just out of curiosity and I thought it was alright during the time and I thought, "man this is stupid." and there I realized how teenagers choose to do wrong things so I stayed away from dating. Some guys have liked me and asked me out though returned their feelings, I never dated them. haha. I always think of the future ("It's not like I'm not going to get tired of this kid's presence one day. Why should I waste time? It's not like it's the end of the world and he's not the only guy.")

I pretty much dated once in my life and never attended prom.

Alright, I'm still a minor and I don't believe in high school love etc etc so I tell my high school friends, "nah don't date. you're just being delusional. one day you will get tired of that guy/girl, break up, you find someone else better and you'll be wasting time + money on him/her then repeat the cycle and why put on time + money that will be put to waste anyway?" I offended someone during my cousin's party cause I said "I don't want to date because I don't want to be stupid." I tried to tell a friend not to date some kid but I don't want her to hate me. I knew they were going to break up. and they did. lol. Too bad I wasn't there when it happened. She tells me it was "tragic" but I don't have much regard for it. lol.

I've "in-your-faced" this kid in my chem class and he's very intelligent too which is very good . He waited for me outside after class and tried to talk and in my head I was like "What the flip, GTFO!" I showed utter disinterest and was just responding "ahuh, yeah, sureeee, whatever." I responded perniciously to him. I'm always like that toward guys I like. I guess it's out of nervousness.

I know you guys are utterly more experienced in such matter than I am so after I read your posts, it got me thinking. (though that doesn't give a guarantee of me taking your advices.)

mehh I'm still a child. i'll probably wait till I turn a certain age and date. I think the chance of me getting settled with someone I date now is very low to zero... so methinks I mayest not date 'till a certain age.

In the future when I'm a parent and my kids are teenagers, I know I won't be as strict as your parents were. But I aim to get around this by sincerely hoping my children are "nerds." I want them to be innocent and nerdy for as long as they can. Friends, sure. Dreaming of dates and the opposite sex, fine! But being "cool" enough to go out and have a string of romances and hookups in high school? No.

This at least will hopefully delay issues like sex, STDs, pregnancy, etc. for them. I mean, I will definitely talk about this with them - it's gonna be an issue whether they decide to date and get serious in high school, college, or thereafter.

However, I just feel (at least for a teen daughter) once they're past the insecure, low self-esteem, wanting to be wanted, risk-taking, teen girl phase, they can make slightly better decisions about present actions that might forever impact their future. I'm not sure I'd go so far as to call my 13 year old daughter a ***** for dating a boy behind my back.

Katarzyna, to each her own. Those are your values to wait until after college and that's good that you have personal values. You shouldn't do anything until you're comfortable with it.

Just know that it's possible to go out with someone of the opposite sex and enjoy the time for what it is - chatting and getting to know someone. If it turns into a deeper relationship than friendship, intimacy can wait if you're not comfortable with it. And if the other person wants more down the line and you don't, you can always stop seeing the person.

 

[Koch]

mehh I'm still a child. i'll probably wait till I turn a certain age and date. I think the chance of me getting settled with someone I date now is very low to zero... so methinks I mayest not date 'till a certain age.

I really don't get this mentality. Because you probably won't get married isn't a reason not to date. You're supposed to enjoy life. Dating is fun. It's a pain sometimes but ultimately it makes your life more full and exciting. Alan Watts said it best:

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4[/YOUTUBE]

 

[FrickenhugeMD]

I don't think my 'rents are ever going to allow me to date. I've been taught that you only get to date after you finish college and you get a stable job which is good. Yeah, we're very conservative and I was not born here. Hmm, don't know. Most likely Pops wouldn't allow me, mum? probably? I have dated once and I was thirteen that time (didn't tell my parents and they found out and I got 3 hours of sermon from the top of my mom and pops lungs and a slap in the face. & i remember mum called me a *****? ) It's just out of curiosity and I thought it was alright during the time and I thought, "man this is stupid." and there I realized how teenagers choose to do wrong things so I stayed away from dating. Some guys have liked me and asked me out though returned their feelings, I never dated them. haha. I always think of the future ("It's not like I'm not going to get tired of this kid's presence one day. Why should I waste time? It's not like it's the end of the world and he's not the only guy.")

I pretty much dated once in my life and never attended prom.


Alright, I'm still a minor and I don't believe in high school love etc etc so I tell my high school friends, "nah don't date. you're just being delusional. one day you will get tired of that guy/girl, break up, you find someone else better and you'll be wasting time + money on him/her then repeat the cycle and why put on time + money that will be put to waste anyway?" I offended someone during my cousin's party cause I said "I don't want to date because I don't want to be stupid." I tried to tell a friend not to date some kid but I don't want her to hate me. I knew they were going to break up. and they did. lol. Too bad I wasn't there when it happened. She tells me it was "tragic" but I don't have much regard for it. lol.

I've "in-your-faced" this kid in my chem class and he's very intelligent too which is very good . He waited for me outside after class and tried to talk and in my head I was like "What the flip, GTFO!" I showed utter disinterest and was just responding "ahuh, yeah, sureeee, whatever." I responded perniciously to him. I'm always like that toward guys I like. I guess it's out of nervousness.

I know you guys are utterly more experienced in such matter than I am so after I read your posts, it got me thinking. (though that doesn't give a guarantee of me taking your advices.)

mehh I'm still a child. i'll probably wait till I turn a certain age and date. I think the chance of me getting settled with someone I date now is very low to zero... so methinks I mayest not date 'till a certain age.

I thinks it's kinda ironic how you say that didnt want to date in high school since that was too young of an age (for maturity reasons I assume), yet the way you treated that poor guy out side of your chem class is exactly what girls in jr high used to do. lol

If it takes those people till now to be at least a little mature about dating, sounds like you have till your after 40.

 

[deleted36260]

Yeah, I hear that as soon as med school starts you get a lot of time and money!!

 

[Silk800]

I guess it's not going to get any easier. I'm a girl and I've been in a committed relationship that I was to pursue, however I refuse point blank to give up medicine. I'll compromise on location and situations as much as I can but not on that. I sometimes fear he won't be able to handle the pressure of long distance that will be imposed once I get into medical school ect ect. And in the end, I wish I didn't have to make this decision. Your right to wait until medical school, because even if you've found the love of your life, sometimes it sucks to find them too early because you being a doctor is a self less endeavor but makes you a selfish person to love. I don't have enough time for family as much as I want, I get depressed that I'm not there to see my brother go through high school as much as I want, and I'm sad that I might lose the guy I love in the end because I couldn't ask him to sacrifice his passion for my passion. I wish I had met him when I was already in med school instead of undergrad, where you jsut can't be stable. I can't even imagine how impossible its going to be for a guy to live up to how perfect he is. Oh and before you all want to throw up, we break up once a month, fight enough to make anyone want to poison us and have been together for 3 years and I thought I loved him when I first met him and we had no problems, but after 3 years of problems, I'm happy. So just hope to find love after your settled, otherwise you won't be able to ask them not to pursue what they love and then you'll feel guilty and you might lose them. Any girls in this situation?

um yup, pretty much in exact same situation. the whole bit about "i can't make him sacrifice his passion for my passion" rang completely true for me. it just sucks. i am trying not to stress about it too much before I actually move this summer and we have to deal with the whole long distance situation.

 

[tourniquet1963]

I don't think my 'rents are ever going to allow me to date. I've been taught that you only get to date after you finish college and you get a stable job which is good. Yeah, we're very conservative and I was not born here. Hmm, don't know. Most likely Pops wouldn't allow me, mum? probably? I have dated once and I was thirteen that time (didn't tell my parents and they found out and I got 3 hours of sermon from the top of my mom and pops lungs and a slap in the face. & i remember mum called me a *****? ) It's just out of curiosity and I thought it was alright during the time and I thought, "man this is stupid." and there I realized how teenagers choose to do wrong things so I stayed away from dating. Some guys have liked me and asked me out though returned their feelings, I never dated them. haha. I always think of the future ("It's not like I'm not going to get tired of this kid's presence one day. Why should I waste time? It's not like it's the end of the world and he's not the only guy.")

I pretty much dated once in my life and never attended prom.


Alright, I'm still a minor and I don't believe in high school love etc etc so I tell my high school friends, "nah don't date. you're just being delusional. one day you will get tired of that guy/girl, break up, you find someone else better and you'll be wasting time + money on him/her then repeat the cycle and why put on time + money that will be put to waste anyway?" I offended someone during my cousin's party cause I said "I don't want to date because I don't want to be stupid." I tried to tell a friend not to date some kid but I don't want her to hate me. I knew they were going to break up. and they did. lol. Too bad I wasn't there when it happened. She tells me it was "tragic" but I don't have much regard for it. lol.

I've "in-your-faced" this kid in my chem class and he's very intelligent too which is very good . He waited for me outside after class and tried to talk and in my head I was like "What the flip, GTFO!" I showed utter disinterest and was just responding "ahuh, yeah, sureeee, whatever." I responded perniciously to him. I'm always like that toward guys I like. I guess it's out of nervousness.

I know you guys are utterly more experienced in such matter than I am so after I read your posts, it got me thinking. (though that doesn't give a guarantee of me taking your advices.)

mehh I'm still a child. i'll probably wait till I turn a certain age and date. I think the chance of me getting settled with someone I date now is very low to zero... so methinks I mayest not date 'till a certain age.

wow.. that is really sad.. and your mentality is completely childish.. .. You're russian, i'm russian.. so i get it.. but come on!.. One of my best friends was like you.. she never dated in HS nor in college.. im sorry but its really pathetic.. and it makes you socially awkward b/c you'll probably have no idea how to act around a guy you like b/c you're too nervous or whatever.. and then you'll be running to your more experienced friends for advice once you find a guy you like.. Dating or hooking up is fine.. as long as you're smart about it.. its just extra experience.. so when you're actually with a person you want to be with.. you'll know what to do.. Whatever.. to each his own... You're probably the way you are because noone has asked you out.. no offense.. or you always wanted to be "daddy's little girl"

Your time will come

 

[FrickenhugeMD]

I guess it's not going to get any easier. I'm a girl and I've been in a committed relationship that I was to pursue, however I refuse point blank to give up medicine. I'll compromise on location and situations as much as I can but not on that. I sometimes fear he won't be able to handle the pressure of long distance that will be imposed once I get into medical school ect ect. And in the end, I wish I didn't have to make this decision. Your right to wait until medical school, because even if you've found the love of your life, sometimes it sucks to find them too early because you being a doctor is a self less endeavor but makes you a selfish person to love. I don't have enough time for family as much as I want, I get depressed that I'm not there to see my brother go through high school as much as I want, and I'm sad that I might lose the guy I love in the end because I couldn't ask him to sacrifice his passion for my passion. I wish I had met him when I was already in med school instead of undergrad, where you jsut can't be stable. I can't even imagine how impossible its going to be for a guy to live up to how perfect he is. Oh and before you all want to throw up, we break up once a month, fight enough to make anyone want to poison us and have been together for 3 years and I thought I loved him when I first met him and we had no problems, but after 3 years of problems, I'm happy. So just hope to find love after your settled, otherwise you won't be able to ask them not to pursue what they love and then you'll feel guilty and you might lose them. Any girls in this situation?

This actually sounds exactly like one of my college buddies girlfriends. They both are super lovey dovey (so much it makes me gag a little bit when I'm around) for most of the month, but about once a week they have huge blow outs, with swearing and all sorts of nastiness coming out at each other. They have a day or two cooling off period then are back to being all over each other. Anyways, she broke it off last year to date another guy (purely just to make him mad/ want her more) and he picked up the seconds she left over for him.

She ended up going to pharm school this year and he went to PA school 1500 miles apart. She ended up breaking up with the other guy, and now her and my buddy are dating again, but long distance. If its any consolation, he is proposing to her this spring....

I personally dont think its a very healthy relationship, but to each their own right? They actually seem to be doing better now that they are long distance and not at each others throats. Its like one has to leave to go back to school before another one of their fights can start.

What happens if it works out (long distance)? like marriage or being engaged? What if you break up every month during that? It's one thing to break up a relationship, another thing to call of an engagement (wedding plans, ect.)

 

[tourniquet1963]

I thinks it's kinda ironic how you say that didnt want to date in high school since that was too young of an age (for maturity reasons I assume), yet the way you treated that poor guy out side of your chem class is exactly what girls in jr high used to do. lol

If it takes those people till now to be at least a little mature about dating, sounds like you have till your after 40.

agreed

 

[whoisthedrizzle]

I think its safe to assume that the people on this thread don't know how to tap anything.

And it isn't anything like nuclear physics and splitting the atom. If it was, then I know a couple guys I used to bartend with who would win the nobel prize every year. Instead, they just get lots of antibiotics.

Word.

This thread is filled with dudes that have to date to get laid. Why someone would want to get tied down in their early twenties is beyond me. There is way, way too much fun to be had.

 

[HoorayForMed]

That's so true. I would like a girl on the other end of the spectrum, artsy, intuitive, and into humanities. It's good to have someone balance you out.

Don't worry boys, there are a few of us laid back intuitive humanities girls going to med school next year too

This whole thread is cracking me up. Thanks

 

[45408]

mehh I'm still a child. i'll probably wait till I turn a certain age and date. I think the chance of me getting settled with someone I date now is very low to zero... so methinks I mayest not date 'till a certain age.

You act like it's completely outside of your control. I met my wife when she was 12, and we started dating when we were 16. I dated her for six years and then married her. The odds of you doing the same are indeed on the low end, but they're even lower if you go into a relationship with the outlook of "This won't result in marriage."

You shouldn't go into a high school relationship with the plan that it will be your future spouse, but you shouldn't date someone that you would never want to be your spouse (unless you like leaving a trail of broken hearts).

 

[45408]

Why someone would want to get tied down in their early twenties is beyond me. There is way, way too much fun to be had.

God forbid that someone finds someone that they would like to spend the rest of their life with before they meet your timeline.

 

[CornellPreMed]

Agree. Never put things off like this. There will always be someone who tells themselves "things will be better in med school" and forgoes relationships in college to focus on their studies. Then in med school the time is more at a premium and the number of single people is decreased significantly and folks tell themselves "things will be better when I'm a doctor". And this can go on and on. You should never put your life on hold to focus on school. Truth of the matter is you have more time now then you ever will in the rest of your life if you go down the med school road. You will have a LOT less free time in med school. You will have even less free time than that in residency. And after that you likely will want to focus on your career and it's actually hard to find time to date when you are working 70 hours/week at a new job. And so on. So it's all about balance and juggling. Because you have more time now than you likely ever will again (at least until you become fairly senior in your career), so unless you learn to balance now, you never will.
As mentioned above, a heavy percentage of folks will show up to med school attached. So the pool of people to select from also never gets better than you've got right now in college. Not that you should lock someone down now, but just don't think your classmates will necessarily be the same source of dating potential they were in college. Also, dating and relationships are a skill that you need to work on. Each failed relationship is part of your dating resume that helps you know what you are looking for, what works. Without this, you generally will have a harder time making good relationship decisions. So you could have years of failed relationships ahead of you if you don't get out there and make all those mistakes now, to learn from. It is not a skill you get right the first time.
If you are male, I don't agree with Jolie South and the folks who say just wait and things will happen. This likely works for attractive women, but guys always have to play the game or they quickly become undesirable hermits. You will see more than a few of these in med school. folks who never really had anything going in college, but keep hoping someone will chase them down when they have MD after their name. It doesn't work like that.

Wow, this just depressed me soooo much...I was hoping to find a relationship in med school. I wonder if it ever happens?

 

[ninjapenguin]

Wow, this just depressed me soooo much...I was hoping to find a relationship in med school. I wonder if it ever happens?

You still can, just probably not within your own class. I think that most pre-meds have the same mentality as majority of the posters in this thread - that you need to find someone quick and settle. There will be time to do other things aside from just studying in med school and it's certainly not difficult meeting new people.

I'm just more worried about myself, since I tend to sabotage any stable relationship I've been in.

 

[katarzyna]

wow.. that is really sad.. and your mentality is completely childish.. .. You're russian, i'm russian.. so i get it.. but come on!.. One of my best friends was like you.. she never dated in HS nor in college.. im sorry but its really pathetic.. and it makes you socially awkward b/c you'll probably have no idea how to act around a guy you like b/c you're too nervous or whatever.. and then you'll be running to your more experienced friends for advice once you find a guy you like.. Dating or hooking up is fine.. as long as you're smart about it.. its just extra experience.. so when you're actually with a person you want to be with.. you'll know what to do.. Whatever.. to each his own... You're probably the way you are because no one has asked you out.. no offense.. or you always wanted to be "daddy's little girl"

Your time will come

haha, btw im not russian. the s/n and the title under it is deceiving ayy? I got the s/n from a model's name and i looked up what's "student" in russian. (though i don't know if that's right and idk how to read russian)

Welp, what do you expect? I guess yeah I'm not attractive etc. I haven't gone through much, I'm still a kid and I'm trying to build up my maturity and I do realize my time will come.

I tried to steer away from socializing for years since my junior year in high school until my early sophomore year in college... I had an eating disorder. I don't have close friends anymore ever since nor do I have girlfriends. I haven't been to the mall since last year and the last time I watched a movie with friends was August last year. I do have friends but not close. So now I don't talk a lot and I try to be the way I was long before. I was gregarious etc long before but now Im trying to at least be like that again? lol... I try not to avoid unnecessary conversations etc anymore. Yeah, I know I suck at life.... hah


I guess dating during your undergrad years is plausible before going to medical school since you wouldn't have the time to spend for such thing... though I would agree too that you should rethink about having a relationship with a person you just started liking just right before moving to the other side of the country.

 

[Green Apple]

Agree. Never put things off like this. There will always be someone who tells themselves "things will be better in med school" and forgoes relationships in college to focus on their studies. Then in med school the time is more at a premium and the number of single people is decreased significantly and folks tell themselves "things will be better when I'm a doctor". And this can go on and on. You should never put your life on hold to focus on school. Truth of the matter is you have more time now then you ever will in the rest of your life if you go down the med school road. You will have a LOT less free time in med school. You will have even less free time than that in residency. And after that you likely will want to focus on your career and it's actually hard to find time to date when you are working 70 hours/week at a new job. And so on. So it's all about balance and juggling. Because you have more time now than you likely ever will again (at least until you become fairly senior in your career), so unless you learn to balance now, you never will.
As mentioned above, a heavy percentage of folks will show up to med school attached. So the pool of people to select from also never gets better than you've got right now in college. Not that you should lock someone down now, but just don't think your classmates will necessarily be the same source of dating potential they were in college. Also, dating and relationships are a skill that you need to work on. Each failed relationship is part of your dating resume that helps you know what you are looking for, what works. Without this, you generally will have a harder time making good relationship decisions. So you could have years of failed relationships ahead of you if you don't get out there and make all those mistakes now, to learn from. It is not a skill you get right the first time.
If you are male, I don't agree with Jolie South and the folks who say just wait and things will happen. This likely works for attractive women, but guys always have to play the game or they quickly become undesirable hermits. You will see more than a few of these in med school. folks who never really had anything going in college, but keep hoping someone will chase them down when they have MD after their name. It doesn't work like that.

Well said. That's exactly how I feel right now. If you don't go out and take initiative now, what makes you think things will be easier in the future? I try to tell myself that. I think an unrealistically rosy view of the future is what motivated me to work hard, yet also excused me from going out there to find out what life is.

 

[TexanGirl]

When will people ever learn NOT to come onto SDN in search for relationship advice?

 

[whoisthedrizzle]

God forbid that someone finds someone that they would like to spend the rest of their life with before they meet your timeline.

Early long term commitment = 50% divorce rate

I'd argue that you don't know what you want relationship wise in your early twenties. Much better chance of finding someone compatible w/ you in your thirties. And the excitement factor (for guys, can't speak for the fairer sex) goes way down when you're doing long term stuff.

If you don't understand my timeline, you probably weren't a very fun single person.

 

[FrickenhugeMD]

Just remember, for 50 % of marriages, they end in divorce...





... Conversely, the other 50 % ends in death



Win win right?

 

[katarzyna]

Just remember, for 50 % of marriages, they end in divorce...





... Conversely, the other 50 % ends in death



Win win right?

I just read somewhere that divorces/unwed parenting cost US taxpayers $112B annually.... something like that...

so if this is legitimate, make sure s/he's the ONE you want to marry or else i'll make you pay. jk.

 

[nka1985]

But I also think dating in med school will be harder because you have fewer classmates, more clasmates who are seriously involved already, and less time on your hands. And you'll probably have a harder time meeting girls who are not classmates since you'll have less time to go out.

That being said, love can happen unpredictably. I promised myself I'd be crazy, carefree, and single until 30. Instead, my casual hormone fling asked me out, I said what the hell, we fell in love, and now I'm happily engaged at 21...things happen.

So true...you're not going to have time in med school to go out and find dates...and classmates are either married, involved, or just too busy.

Early in undergrad I swore that I would stay single until after medical school. I didn't date, didn't party, did nothing really, just concentrated on school. It was boring, but I was focused on my goal. And then just as I was applying to med school, I met someone and love just...happened. When I found out I was moving 3000 miles away from medical school, he proposed-something he'd acutally been planning for a while, it turns out. He moved here in January, and we got married on 3/15/08. I never would have thought I would be married at 22, but I've never been happier.

I'm not telling you to go out start hunting for a girl with marriage in mind, just don't close yourself off to opportunities. Enjoy life now, it only gets busier as time goes on...first med school...then residency...then setting up practice and getting established as a physician. There's never really a perfect time.

 

[katarina90]

Just remember, for 50 % of marriages, they end in divorce...





... Conversely, the other 50 % ends in death



Win win right?

Ha. A bit cynical, but true nonetheless.

OP: I thought about waiting until med school. When I was in hs, I said I'd wait 'til college; when I first started college I thought maybe I'd wait until med school. But then I met someone who totally changed my mind, and the rest is history. I'm no idealist; who knows if it'll work out for the long term, but if you find someone you care about, there's no point in turning them down because of worries that are often unfounded. If someone really digs you, they won't care about what car you drive or what fancy places you can take them to. Its nearly impossible to not think about the future, especially when you're in the pre-med mode of wanting to be prepared and plan everything, but for relationships its often not the best approach...My advice would be not to worry about getting into one, but if you happen to find yourself in a relationship, then keep an open mind about it.

 

[brianmartin]

it's hard when you've been dating for a while in undergrad and it's just not working. Especially because I'm kind of introverted, I don't have a large circle of friends around me all the time, just a few really good ones. Therefore it's tough to find good opportunities. I can't believe how many girls I've met that are IN college, yet still seem to have no goals and a very narrow view of things. I never put "life on hold" to focus on school. I have developed myself as a person and know what I want in a relationship. Some people in this thread are being a little condescending, trying to say anyone who is "waiting until med school" must be a loser.

 

[Omyss]

hmm never thought about this way....

that must be the reason i don't talk to girls

 

[Aynsl156]

Early admission + all women's college = spinster. Forever.

I'm waiting until I die.

 

[doinmybest5840]

it's hard when you've been dating for a while in undergrad and it's just not working. Especially because I'm kind of introverted, I don't have a large circle of friends around me all the time, just a few really good ones. Therefore it's tough to find good opportunities. I can't believe how many girls I've met that are IN college, yet still seem to have no goals and a very narrow view of things. I never put "life on hold" to focus on school. I have developed myself as a person and know what I want in a relationship. Some people in this thread are being a little condescending, trying to say anyone who is "waiting until med school" must be a loser.

I'm the same way. Sort of introverted, several close friends, etc. I've met a few nice guys but nothing has worked out. Maybe I just don't look in the right places?

 

[Textuality]

I can't see myself dating a fellow med student, I feel like the whole residency application would be worse than med school apps. Someone or both might have to "settle" in terms of program or maybe even specialty in order to stay together, and that's probably even harder to do after so much time and hard work at med school. It's why I never wanted to date med school guys, I would anticipate a lot of clashing in this respect of who's career comes first.

As it is now, I have a fiance that's willing to shape the rest of his life and career around my med track. He figures he can get a good job in software in almost any city, so as of now, he's willing to follow me around in the future when I might have to move again for residency . I feel like a med school or pre med guy might not be quite so easy going and selflessly supportive. I almost feel guilty about it, but he seems quite happy.

So I wonder if it's harder for girls to date in med school?

 

[NoUse4aName1286]

To SBBunny: you need a guy who is FAR better than that...you're 22 (super young) and in your prime. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Get out there and meet someone who respects you, treats you as HIS gold medal and will make you happy.

I have a feeling your ex-bf will be the leftover NO woman is going to want to put up with. Be glad you dumped his sorry a$$ and are able to move on.

Couldn't have said it any better.
to you for not letting yourself stick with him.

 

[NoUse4aName1286]

For some reason, in miami every girl i see driving a beetle seems to be pretty damn cute. I don't get it, it's almost guaranteed. And if she happens to be vegan, i don't care as long as she doesn't even THINK of turning me away from my juicy porterhouse steak (well done)

thumbdown

YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO COMMIT SUCH A TERRIBLE SIN AGAINST MEAT AGAIN! NO STEAK FOR YOU!! HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE MAN! THE COW WOULD BE ASHAMED TO KNOW THIS!

 

[SBBunny]

Early admission + all women's college = spinster. Forever.

I'm waiting until I die.

Being younger means that, when you're in med school, you can date undergrads without feeling like a cradle-robber

Aren't you going to Mount Sinai? On the Upper East Side of New York City? You'll have no trouble meeting people outside of medical school. New York has a thriving singles scene, unlike a lot of smaller medical school towns.

 

[Handy388]

Word.

This thread is filled with dudes that have to date to get laid. Why someone would want to get tied down in their early twenties is beyond me. There is way, way too much fun to be had.

some men who had horrible early life experience end up wanting a stable relationship, perhaps?

 

[Hurricane95]

Hey hey...meat tastes good well done...i've always eaten it that way. At least I will NEVER go for a consult for beef tapeworm..you won't catch me passing worms out of MY anus after learning some parasitology you learn that it's best for you to nuke everything before eating it.