At a crossroads and need help

[battlecry]

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This is somewhat long, so for those that manage to read through my situation and offer me advice, I am truly grateful.　Ｉ＇ｍ　ｓｏｒｒｙ　ｔｈａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｆｏｎｔ　ｃｈａｎｇｅｓ　ａｂｒｕｐｔｌｙ　ｉｎ　ｍｉｄ　sentences, please bear with me.

Ｉ＇ｖｅ　ｒｅｃｅｎｔｌｙ　ｂｅｅｎ　ｉｎ　ａ　ＰｈＤ program in Pharmacology and Toxicology. I had initially been very on the fence about my career path in college and finally decided to just try PhD　because　Ｉ　ｗａｎｔｅｄ　ｔｏ　ｂｅ　ｉｎｖｏｌｖｅｄ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｄｅｖｅｌｏｐｍｅｎｔ　ｏｆ　ｎｕｍｅｒｏｕｓ　ｄｒｕｇｓ　ａｎｄ　ｍｅｄｉｃｉｎｅｓ. Ｈｏｗｅｖｅｒ，　Ｉ　ｄｏ　ｎｏｔ　ｅｎｊｏｙ　ｌａｂ　ｗｏｒｋ　ａｎｄ　ａｓ　ｔｈｅ　ｄａｙｓ　ｈａｖｅ　ｗｏｒｎ　ｏｎ　ａｎｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｒｅａｌｉｔｙ　ｓｅｔ　ｉｎ　Ｉ　ｆｉｎｄ　ｔｈａｔ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ａｃｔｕａｌｌｙ　ｎｏｔ　ｗｈａｔ　I want to do for the rest of my life. Throughout my college years I volunteered in a hospital emergency room and I　ｕｌｔｉｍａｔｅｌｙ　ｒｅａｌｉｚｅ　ｔｈａｔ　Ｉ　ｃｒａｖｅ　ｓｏｃｉａｌ　ｃｏｎｔａｃｔ．　Ｉ　ａｍ　２３　ａｎｄ　ｗｈｉｌｅ　Ｉ＇ｍ　ｏｎ　ｆｕｌｌ　ｒｉｄｅ　ｓｔａｔｕｓ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ＰｈＤ program, I am extremely concerned that my distaste for a "life in the lab"　ｈａｓ　ｇｒｏｗｎ　ｓｏ　ｓｔｒｏｎｇ　ｔｈａｔ　Ｉ　ｗｏｎ＇ｔ　ｂｅ　ａｂｌｅ　ｔｏ　ｒｉｄｅ　ｉｔ　ｏｕｔ　ｆｏｒ　ｔｈａｔ　ｍｕｃｈ　ｌｏｎｇｅｒ．

Ｓｏ　ｈｅｒｅ　ｉｓ　ｔｈｅ　ｐｒｅｄｉｃａｍｅｎｔ．　Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏｔ　ｉｎｆｏｒｍｅｄ　ａｎｙｏｎｅ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅｓｅ　ｆｅｅｌｉｎｇｓ，　ｎｏｔ　ｅｖｅｎ　ｍｙ　ｐａｒｅｎｔｓ．　Ｉ am a year removed from college and at a crossroads. Right nｏｗ　Ｉ am strongly considering pursuing a career in the healthcare profession again as pre-pharmacy. However, there are numerous hurdles to this, the first obviously being that I am still in the PhD program and I am still taking their money.　Ｉ　ｔｒｕｌｙ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｂａｄ　ｔｈａｔ　Ｉ have burdened numerous people and I　ｗｏｒｒｙ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｈｏｗ　ｐｏｏｒｌｙ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｂｏｄｅ　ｉｆ　Ｉ　ｓｉｍｐｌｙ　ｐｕｌｌ　ｏut-- however, the lab life truly is not for everyone, and I think I　ａｍ　ｏｎｅ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｏｓｅ　ｔｈａｔ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｐｒｅｆｅｒ　ａ　ｈｕｍａｎ　ｓｉｄｅ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｉｎｇｓ．　Ｉ　ｄｏ　ｎｏｔ　ｋｎｏｗ　ｉｆ　Ｉ　ｃａｎ　ａｂｒｕｐｔｌｙ　ｂａｉｌ　ａｎｄ　ｔｒｙ　ｔｏ　ｇｅｔ　ａ　ｍａｓｔｅｒ＇ｓ　ｄｅｇｒｅｅ　ｂｕｔ　Ｉ am willing to look into it.

I have little to no time to study for PCATs，　ｂｕｔ　ｔｈｏｕｇｈ　Ｉ　ａｍ　ｎｏｔ　ｐａｒｔｉｃｕｌａｒｌｙ　ｂｒｉｇｈｔ，　Ｉ think if I　ｔｒｕｌｙ　ｔｏｏｋ　ｔｈｅ　ｔｉｍｅ　Ｉ　ｃｏｕｌｄ　ｄｏ　ｉｔ．　Ｉｆ　ｗｏｒｓｔ　ｃｏｍｅｓ　ｔｏ　ｗｏｒｓｔ，　Ｉ　ｈｅａｒｄ　ｔｈａｔ　ｔｈｅｒｅ　ａｒｅ　ａ　ｎｕｍｂｅｒ　ｏｆ　ｓｃｈｏｏｌｓ　ｔｈａｔ　ｄｏ　ｎｏｔ　ｒｅｑｕｉｒｅ　ｔｈｅ　ＰＣＡＴ． Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏｔ　ｃｏｍｐｌｅｔｅｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｐｒｅ－ｐｈａｒｍａｃｙ　ｒｅｑｕｉｒｅｄ　ｃｏｕｒｓｅｓ　ａｎｄ　Ｉ am uncertain how I　ｃａｎ　ｔａｋｅ　ｔｈｅｓｅ，　ｏｒ　ｉｆ　Ｉ have to, in my current situation.

My undergraduate GPA　ｗａｓ　３.５１，　ｗｉｔｈ　ａ　～３.８　ａｖｅｒａｇｅ　ｉｎ　ｍｙ　ｌａｓｔ　ｔｗｏ　ｙｅａｒｓ．　Ｉ have volunteered in a hospital emergency room for about two years as well, and I　ｈａｖｅ　ｅｘｔｅｎｄｅｄ　ｒｅｓｅａｒｃｈ　ｅｘｐｅｒｉｅｎｃｅ，　ｔｈｏｕｇｈ　Ｉ do not know if any of this helps my extracurricular section for pharmacy school. Iｗａｓ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　Ｐｈａｒｍａｃｙ　Ｃｌｕｂ　ｆｏｒ　２　ｙｅａｒｓ　ｉｎ　ｍｙ　ｕｎｄｅｒｇｒａｄｕａｔｅ　ｔｉｍｅ，　ｂｕｔ　ｈａｄ　ｎｏ　ｐｏｓｉｔｉｏｎ　ｔｏ　ｓｐｅａｋ　ｏｆ．

Ｉｆ　ａｎｙｏｎｅ　ｃａｎ　ｈｅｌｐ　ｍｅ　ａｎｄ　ｇｉｖｅ　ｍｅ　ｇｕｉｄａｎｃｅ，　Ｉ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｆｏｒｅｖｅｒ　ｂｅ　ｇｒａｔｅｆｕｌ．　Ｉ　ｗａｎｔ　ｔｏ　ｇｉｖｅ　ｔｈｉｓ　ａ　ｓｈｏｔ，　ｔｒｕｌｙ，　ｂｕｔ　Ｉ am afraid of losing everything that I　ｃｕｒｒｅｎｔｌｙ　ｈａｖｅ　ｂｙ　ｄｏｉｎｇ　ｓｏ．

 

[fujitsux]

Uh oh...This is indeed a dilemma. The first thing i need to ask you is --What will happen if you chose to forfeit the pHD program?

 

[battlecry]

Uh oh...This is indeed a dilemma. The first thing i need to ask you is --What will happen if you chose to forfeit the pHD program?

I don't know of the consequences yet, and Ｉ　ｄｏ　ｎｏｔ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｓａｆｅ　ｔｏ　ａｓｋ　ａｎｙｏｎｅ　ｗｉｔｈｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｄｅｐａｒｔｍｅｎｔ　ｉｍｍｅｄｉａｔｅｌｙ．　Ｉ　ｗａｎｔ　ｔｏ　ａｔ　ｌｅａｓｔ　ｈａｖｅ　ａ　ｖａｇｕｅ　ｉｄｅａ　ｏｆ　ｍｙ　ｃｈａｎｃｅｓ　ａｎｄ　ａｐｐｒｏａｃｈ　ｂｅｆｏｒｅ　Ｉ spring the news, so to speak. I have taken a fair amount of fellowship money because they are paying for me and thus I feel worse about my decision and for not being clear about my path until now.

 

[fujitsux]

Don't you have to sign a contract or some sort of papers when you enrolled in a PhD program? There must be a penalty for quitting the program. Check that again!

 

[pharmRxn]

why half of your post is crossed out. i don't understand much.

 

[battlecry]

Don't you have to sign a contract or some sort of papers when you enrolled in a PhD program? There must be a penalty for quitting the program. Check that again!

I've looked over the paperwork.　Ｔｈｅｒｅ　ｉｓ　ｎｏ　ｐｅｎａｌｔｙ　ｆｏｒ　ｌｅａｖｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅ　ｐｒｏｇｒａｍ．

 

[Passion4Sci]

have you given any thought to continuing your Ph.D in PharmTox and then getting a Pharm.D? I think that'd be a power-packed resume for sure, and would offer a number of awesome opportunities for you!

If that's not an option for whatever reason, and you quit the Ph.D program, you can either go for a school w/o a PCAT requirement (aacp.org is your best friend!) or you can take the PCAT and see how you do - I think if you performed well enough to be accepted into a PharmTox Ph.D program, you'll have the knowledge for the PCAT. Go to B&N or Borders and take a peek at the Kaplan book, and see how it "looks" to you.

Either way GL on your journey and just know that a good number of us, myself included, have made similar decisions in the pursuit of pharmacy.

 

[pharm B]

What's with the abrupt font changes?

 

[battlecry]

Hi everyone.

I fixed my font, and I'd like to apologize for the difficulty in reading my previous posts.

I'd like to thank everyone for the advice they have offered me. I will buy a PCAT book ASAP and begin studying in my spare time.

Passion4Sci, I understand that a PhD is somewhat prestigious and ultimately a privilege. I also understand it would help my job prospects as well. However, I crave human interaction. Pharmacy school seems to have a better blend of human interaction and science than the PhD path, where I am always in lab and reading scientific papers. Lab work is certainly good and I respect people that can get a PhD, however it is simply not for me. This has not been an easy choice for me, as I know how many people would love to be in my position and I am inconveniencing a great deal of people by doing what I'm doing-- but what it has boiled down to was that I am not happy with the potential career path my PhD is currently leading me towards.

As for my plans, I will likely request a leave from the PhD program and try and fulfill all the course requirements and such. I want to give it a shot.

For those that are still willing to help me, particularly those that are nontraditional (such as Passion4Sci, who I am aware has been in the army?), I'd appreciate it if you could share your experiences with me such as returning to school and the like.

Thank you all. Deeply.

 

[The Fargoan]

I too dropped a PhD program (in Chemistry). After 1 semester I knew that was not the road I wanted to take. My parents were less than pleased but I immediately got a job. Several years of working went by before I decided to go back to school for my PharmD.

Leaving the PhD program was the right choice for me and I have never once thought "what if. . ." It also taught me that sometimes parents don't know everything. I appreciate their concern but it's ok to disagree with them. If you know the PhD isn't for you I think it's ok to leave (I just went into the office and said I wasn't coming back the next semester. No one was upset). You don't necessarily have to jump directly to the next school. Take some time to figure out what health profession you want. There are pros/cons to any of the pathways. Good luck on your own choice!

 

[Passion4Sci]

PM'd a very lengthy reply to your PM. =]