Attention Please! Attention Please! Code Friday!

[docB]

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Attention please! Attention please! Attention please! This is the hospital PBX operator addressing all patients currently waiting in primary care waiting rooms in the medical office building portion of the medical center. It is now 3:00 pm on Friday. Your primary care doctor’s office will close promptly at 5:00 pm. In fact your doctor is hoping to sneak out at around 4:15 because he is going away for the weekend and his tee time tomorrow is at 7:30. He checked out mentally at noon and in reality quit seeing patients at 2:30. Consequently all patients remaining in the waiting rooms are advised to go directly to the ER. Please inform the ED staff that your doctor is now out of town and that you should be admitted to the doctor on call. Thank you for trying to obtain primary care. That is all.

 

[southerndoc]

And the primary care physician is a pain management specialist who has ordered you to be admitted for a Dilaudid PCA.

 

[beanbean]

We will also be doing stat MRIs for all who request them.

and

Why don't you all pick up some McDonalds or Pizza Hut and bring it with you to eat in the ED? You are very sick and need nourishment.

 

[southerndoc]

and don't forget to fully charge your cell phone so you can talk on it during your visit.

 

[Doctor Bob]

It's also much more efficient if you come in with your entire family at once. That way we can fix all your family's ailments at once.

 

[EM2BE]

and don't forget to fully charge your cell phone so you can talk on it during your visit.

Or just bring your charger along with you.

 

[kungfufishing]

There is no need to obtain child care or bring toys to distract your three little kids; there is plenty of stuff for them to play with in the exam room.

 

[dmitrinyr]

There is no need to obtain child care or bring toys to distract your three little kids; there is plenty of stuff for them to play with in the exam room.

If you don't feel like looking after your own kids, don't worry as you can just register them all as patients in the Peds ER for the sneezing and runny nose that each of them have had on-and-off for the past few weeks. It's ok, the ED docs will take care of them and look after them while all are running around and eating their potato chips.