baby-friendly schools

[cindydoc]

Advertisement - Members don't see this ad

Hello,

Can anyone please tell me which if any of the following schools are flexible/supportive of having babies during medical school:

Any Chicago schools
Boston Univ.
Stanford

Thanks!

I am trying to find this information but it does not seem to be out there on individual schools.

 

[njbmd]

This is a pre-med issue and therefore this thread is moved to Pre-Allo. Allopathic medical students read and reply to threads in pre-allo and may follow and reply to this one if desired.

 

[inaminute]

I believe the interview process is designed to weed out "babies."

If you are immature you shouldn't apply.














actually if you are considering giving birth during med school, jeez, spare the child, honest to God

if you want to be a mom, be a mom---kids aren't pets

 

[cindydoc]

Excuse me, but are you saying that women are incapable of doing both medical school and parenting?? Wow, I'm glad you are already working on those bedside manners! Keep it up

 

[inaminute]

it's not emotional, cindy, it's factual

babies need their moms, not nannies or minimum wage sitters---pick one or the other, or you're making your baby pay for your ego.

 

[TheRealMD]

Hello,

Can anyone please tell me which if any of the following schools are flexible/supportive of having babies during medical school:

Any Chicago schools
Boston Univ.
Stanford

Thanks!

I am trying to find this information but it does not seem to be out there on individual schools.

Generally, that's something you'd ask older (typically non-traditional) students as they will be able to give you more information about that than the school itself.

Call the school and ask to see if they can put you in touch with some students there. That would help you a lot.

 

[pcu]

it's not emotional, cindy, it's factual

babies need their moms, not nannies or minimum wage sitters---pick one or the other, or you're making your baby pay for your ego.

^^Mommy didn't pay attention to this one^^

 

[cindydoc]

I 100% disagree. Many parents who are not doctors are forced to work full-time. Does that make them bad parents? No. It's shocking and sad to see sexist people like yourself going into the medical field.

 

[MsJLewis]

Harvard is pretty baby friendly. I spoke with one of the deans there and she spoke about how when she went to Harvard Med they were pretty anti-mom. Years later as a faculty member she changed the policy to let mothers (and fathers) take off necessary time.

 

[pinkblue]

I have no idea bout those schools, but...


inaminute... i'm guessing you are a guy.

Wondering when to have kids as a premed is a completely reasonable concern.

It's natural to want kids and if shes in her early to mid 20s when she applies....she may be in her mid 30s by teh time she finishes residency. so give her a break for wanting to have a family while she is young enough to do it.

Personally, I thought a lot about it and I don't want to become pregnant during med school or residency. I think if I decide to have kids, it will be through an adoption.

I've read stories about people timing their delivery for xmas break or summer break. That seems tricky. The stories I've heard is that teh school was helpful, but no matter how understanding teh school is.... you are still going to be studying full time and momming full time. That is rough!

 

[inaminute]

I 100% disagree. Many parents who are not doctors are forced to work full-time. Does that make them bad parents? No. It's shocking and sad to see sexist people like yourself going into the medical field.

it's shocking and sad to see women giving birth to children that other people raise.

 

[cindydoc]

Thanks for the responses. I tried to post this in the medical student forums but it got moved here so keep any info coming.

 

[pinkblue]

it's not emotional, cindy, it's factual

babies need their moms, not nannies or minimum wage sitters---pick one or the other, or you're making your baby pay for your ego.

umm....Babies can do well w/ dads too.

 

[dally1025]

Like it or not, having a baby during med school isn't an ideal situation. My parents had me while he was in med school and I would cry because I didn't recognize him. I also got a nasty case of meningitis and came really close to dying (I wasn't in daycare so it probably came from work). No long-term damage and I'm incredibly close with my father now, but at the time things might have been a little better had they waited.

 

[jochi1543]

babies need their moms, not nannies or minimum wage sitters---pick one or the other, or you're making your baby pay for your ego.

They need their dads, too, you know.

 

[inaminute]

I have no idea bout those schools, but...


inaminute... i'm guessing you are a guy.

Wondering when to have kids as a premed is a completely reasonable concern.

It's natural to want kids and if shes in her early to mid 20s when she applies....she may be in her mid 30s by teh time she finishes residency. so give her a break for wanting to have a family while she is young enough to do it.

Personally, I thought a lot about it and I don't want to become pregnant during med school or residency. I think if I decide to have kids, it will be through an adoption.

I've read stories about people timing their delivery for xmas break or summer break. That seems tricky. The stories I've heard is that teh school was helpful, but no matter how understanding teh school is.... you are still going to be studying full time and momming full time. That is rough!

nope

I am a woman who had three children, and in hindsight I didn't know what a mistake I was making to think I could serve my ego and do the best job for those I brought into the world.

People need to put their kids first, in the best way they possibly can. That means don't have babies as single parents, don't work when they are little if you can avoid it (and most people make allllll sorts of excuses for being at work instead of with their young children). And yes, women and men are different and women really should be at home with young kids. It's that simple, and it really upsets spoiled girls who don't realize how important they are to their babies.

 

[Daydreamer2008]

it's shocking and sad to see women giving birth to children that other people raise.

😕 In any family where both parents work, at one time or another the child will go to daycare, or maybe left with grandparents. I've seen this done time and time again. When the baby is born, usually the mom stays home for a couple months. Do you think that women who have children have to be homemakers? Why are you so shocked? This is 2007, not 1940, get with the times....

 

[inaminute]

😕 In any family where both parents work, at one time or another the child will go to daycare, or maybe left with grandparents. I've seen this done time and time again. When the baby is born, usually the mom stays home for a couple months. Do you think that women who have children have to be homemakers? Why are you so shocked? This is 2007, not 1940, get with the times....

Babies are the same now as they were in the 1940s or the 1600s. They needed their moms full time when they were small and they still do.

 

[Daydreamer2008]

Babies are the same now as they were in the 1940s or the 1600s. They needed their moms full time when they were small and they still do.

Ok well that's your opinion--easy for you to say after you already have had your kids. But for the rest of us, we need to find a way to balance a family with our medical career and it can be done. so go away.

 

[MsJLewis]

Anyway, getting back to the actual point of this thread. If you happen to have a child while in med school, many are accommodating. A doc I shadowed graduated from Case Western and was pregnant during the last part of med school and had her children in residency. She got the residency program to give a part-time residency so she could be at home with the kids more. Sure it took longer but she was able to complete it. It also helped that she had a super supportive husband (a surgeon) and was in a baby friendly specialty (Pediatrics).

It can be done no matter what anyone says. 🙂

 

[Instatewaiter]

Hello,

Can anyone please tell me which if any of the following schools are flexible/supportive of having babies during medical school:

Any Chicago schools
Boston Univ.
Stanford

Thanks!

I am trying to find this information but it does not seem to be out there on individual schools.

Let's first get some facts:

Do you have kids? If so what ages?

Based on the fact that medical school has a standard curriculum, it is difficult to be flexible w/o actually taking time off from school. I am sure most schools will be relatively accommodating but the linear structure of med school- 2 years in class followed by boards followed by rotations- mixed with the tight time constraints makes it hard for schools to be very flexible without making you take time off.

There are plenty of people in my class (MCV) who have kids and they seem to be struggling with juggling the demands of class and family. I honestly have no idea how they do it but they are coping... i guess. I personally struggle just to keep in contact with my parents and hang out with my girlfriend from time to time. I couldnt imagine having kids.

 

[inaminute]

Ok well that's your opinion--easy for you to say after you already have had your kids. But for the rest of us, we need to find a way to balance a family with our medical career and it can be done. so go away.

Yes, you can balance your family with a medical career, but it isn't the best thing for your children if you are the person who gives birth to them. Your denial won't make your children happier, and it won't really convince you that it was worth what it costs your kids.

 

[Instatewaiter]

Anyway, getting back to the actual point of this thread. If you happen to have a child while in med school, many are accommodating. A doc I shadowed graduated from Case Western and was pregnant during the last part of med school and had her children in residency. She got the residency program to give a part-time residency so she could be at home with the kids more. Sure it took longer but she was able to complete it. It also helped that she had a super supportive husband (a surgeon) and was in a baby friendly specialty (Pediatrics).

It can be done no matter what anyone says. 🙂

if you want to get pregnant during med school, get pregnant during the middle or end or 3rd year so that you have your baby during 4th year when the time constraints aren't so bad.

 

[inaminute]

if you want to get pregnant during med school, get pregnant during the middle or end or 3rd year so that you have your baby during 4th year when the time constraints aren't so bad.

and hope for a dumb baby so they won't know you aren't around

 

[jochi1543]

Yes, you can balance your family with a medical career, but it isn't the best thing for your children if you are the person who gives birth to them. Your denial won't make your children happier, and it won't really convince you that it was worth what it costs your kids.

What the hell does giving birth have anything to do with it? Many children are raised just fine in families without their biological parents.

 

[Jolie South]

What the hell does giving birth have anything to do with it? Many children are raised just fine in families without their biological parents.

or by aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.

 

[jochi1543]

Anyway, getting back to the actual point of this thread. If you happen to have a child while in med school, many are accommodating. A doc I shadowed graduated from Case Western and was pregnant during the last part of med school and had her children in residency. She got the residency program to give a part-time residency so she could be at home with the kids more. Sure it took longer but she was able to complete it. It also helped that she had a super supportive husband (a surgeon) and was in a baby friendly specialty (Pediatrics).

It can be done no matter what anyone says. 🙂

Minnesota Twin Cities gives you up to 6 years to complete your MD, if I remember correctly. I think you can either go PT or just take years off without running into any logistical issues, whichever fits you best.

I've heard that taking time off can be tough, though, in terms of forgetting things.

 

[MsJLewis]

Yea. I wouldn't advise getting preggers in med school. I sure as heck don't plan to. But there is some degree of flexibility within some schools which allow for having kids during med school to be somewhat less painful.

 

[cindydoc]

Here are the facts. And for the record...I respect your opinion, inaminute, but your situation is different than other people. Please respect my opinion.

I am trying to have a baby before beginning medical school in 2008. However, it is cutting it close so I am also thinking of deferring a year if I become pregnant. I have a very supportive fiance with a great flexible job and supportive family. I heav heard many many times there is no great time for this so it has to be a personal decision. I have made mine and am now wondering about specific schools.

 

[UnderdogMD]

There is no way to generalize. I don't think any schools are actually recommending that people have babies during med school. It's hard enough already. Its just that if it happens some schools will more understanding and willing to help than others. People can give you anecdotal evidence about how they no X person at Y school who got/is pregnant but really it doesn't mean much. Try contacting the schools directly. Say "I want to have a baby in med school and want to know how flexible/supportive you are?"

 

[Sir Buckethead]

What I want to know is the list of baby-unfriendly schools. Must be a bunch of pricks.

 

[francisco84]

I don't know about those schools but I do know some one who had 2 kids and made it through EVMS

Her husband was also a med student a year ahead of her

 

[Instatewaiter]

Many children are raised just fine in families without their biological parents.

or by aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.

that mentality definitely works out well for the indigent population in Richmond...

I am trying to have a baby before beginning medical school in 2008. However, it is cutting it close so I am also thinking of deferring a year if I become pregnant. I have a very supportive fiance with a great flexible job and supportive family. I heav heard many many times there is no great time for this so it has to be a personal decision. I have made mine and am now wondering about specific schools.

Having a baby during med school is not a good idea. I am not kidding about this. If it is cutting it close, defer. You will be happy you did.

 

[cindydoc]

Instate waiter. Do you have personal experience with this? I think people forget that having a baby in med school is done at many schools quite often. It is not the end of the world. Please back up BOLD statements.

 

[WinterLights]

Instate waiter. Do you have personal experience with this? I think people forget that having a baby in med school is done at many schools quite often. It is not the end of the world. Please back up BOLD statements.

My parents had me while my father was in medical school. Parents ended up divorced and I ended up . . . .well. Don't have children if you cannot put them first in your life. You may not want to hear that, but its the truth. As far as baby friendly med schools, what do you define as baby friendly? Schools that give you plenty of time to spend with family? You won't be finding one of those anytime soon.

 

[inaminute]

What the hell does giving birth have anything to do with it? Many children are raised just fine in families without their biological parents.

cindy is talking about giving birth to children while she is in med school, FYI.

 

[inaminute]

Here are the facts. And for the record...I respect your opinion, inaminute, but your situation is different than other people. Please respect my opinion.

I am trying to have a baby before beginning medical school in 2008. However, it is cutting it close so I am also thinking of deferring a year if I become pregnant. I have a very supportive fiance with a great flexible job and supportive family. I heav heard many many times there is no great time for this so it has to be a personal decision. I have made mine and am now wondering about specific schools.

Yes, and forgive me for pointing out to you that it's not a good idea to have small children at the same time you plan to be very busy elsewhere.

 

[inaminute]

Instate waiter. Do you have personal experience with this? I think people forget that having a baby in med school is done at many schools quite often. It is not the end of the world. Please back up BOLD statements.

Lots of bad things are done by lots of people. Bandwagon. Doesn't support your position.

 

[GreenShirt]

I think about 30%, if not more, of my class have kids, one guy has five. So its not uncommon for people to raise children while in medical school...I don't know how they do it, but it can be done. Although, I am in at a DO school, which tend to have a higher percentage of non-traditional students, so if you'd like to be surrounded by more people in your situation you might consider DO an option. I would definitely look into a school that does not have mandatory acceptance so that you have more flexibility to stay home and study. I think being very well organized and having a good support system is key.

 

[TheRealMD]

I think about 30%, if not more, of my class have kids, one guy has five. So its not uncommon for people to raise children while in medical school...I don't know how they do it, but it can be done. Although, I am in at a DO school, which tend to have a higher percentage of non-traditional students, so if you'd like to be surrounded by more people in your situation you might consider DO an option. I would definitely look into a school that does not have mandatory acceptance so that you have more flexibility to stay home and study. I think being very well organized and having a good support system is key.

But are they having those kinds WHILE in med school or already have them? Care for a 5 month old is very different than that of a 1 year old, and on and on...

No one is advocating that you shouldn't do it, but realize that it does have it's consequences most people would choose to avoid.

 

[cindydoc]

Is there a way to block inaminute from this thread? Her comments are not exactly the nicest. You'd think I was trying to kill someone, not start a family. And I realize no school encourages it but I am sure others are more supportive than others. That's all I wanted to know. But thank you for the non hurtful and helpful responses.

 

[TheRealMD]

Is there a way to block inaminute from this thread? Her comments are not exactly the nicest. You'd think I was trying to kill someone, not start a family. And I realize no school encourages it but I am sure others are more supportive than others. That's all I wanted to know. But thank you for the non hurtful and helpful responses.

What has she done wrong? This isn't a "nice" topic. There are no "nice" answers. We're talking about the life of a child here. =/

 

[LVBBBabe]

I was two when my dad started med school, my brother was an infant, and my mom had my little sister when my dad was a 4th year. It can be done. He had a very extensive support system though... my grandma watched me a lot of the time while my mom worked. I'm getting married next summer before (hopefully) matriculating in the fall of 08 and I've definitely thought about starting my family in my fourth year. I think that I will only do it though if I am in a city where either my family is present or his family is present. As far as schools go... I know Emory does a straight through first two years (3 week break between year 1 and 2), but you get 5 months off in between which would be nice. I also have a friend who goes to Missouri-Columbia who says a girl in his class would bring her baby with her to school and they were cool with it. It's not easy, but it can be done. Oh, also, USC has a support group for students who are married/have families... Good luck with everything!!!!

 

[GreenShirt]

But are they having those kinds WHILE in med school or already have them? Care for a 5 month old is very different than that of a 1 year old, and on and on...

No one is advocating that you shouldn't do it, but realize that it does have it's consequences most people would choose to avoid.

We have one currently pregnant student, one who's wife gave birth 3 weeks ago, another 3 or 4 with children <1yr old that I know of, probably more, and the rest have young kids (a couple yo).

Don't get me wrong, there's no way I would want to have kids while in school. As you can imagine, medical school, is pretty much an around the clock commitment. Raising a child while in school is something that should be undertaken with extreme thought and caution. However, many people on this forum make is sound like its a rarity, so I just wanted to point out that its more common than most people think.

 

[PreMD86]

Yes, and forgive me for pointing out to you that it's not a good idea to have small children at the same time you plan to be very busy elsewhere.

For christ sake, what is wrong with you? The woman is asking for advice on baby-friendly schools, not for your permission to have a baby. Just because you couldn't do it doesn't mean others couldn't. If you have nothing to contribute, why even bother? Do you honestly think this woman has not thought this out through many times over? Do you think some premed kid on the internet would change her mind??

For the record, I know many doctors who have had kids during med school. Most of those couples are still married, all of their kids are perfectly happy, and some of them are even pursuing medicine themselves.
Cindy- although I am not familiar with the baby friendliness of schools (most people here won't know either- best to call the schools yourself and ask), if you can balance family with school I have a tremendous amount of respect for you. I think when it comes to kids, it's all about quality, not quantity. Love your kids and do your best.

 

[mfrenkie]

...I'm afraid to get a dog because I'll be in med school next year.

 

[dally1025]

I stated before that I was born with my father in med school. He's a great person and loves me more than anything but if you want to be a good parent you have to make your child the most important factor in your life. You cannot do this in med school. Med school is a time where you need the time to be "selfish." Yes, many people have kids while in med school but that doesn't make it an ideal situation. You cannot do well in med school and be a good parent (if you plan on going I would think you would want to do well). My dad is a great parent now, but during med school (according to my mom) he couldn't give the time that having a child requires. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. Something's going to suffer-either your grades or your family. Hold off on the kids before med school; they'll thank you later.

BTW, I am a female and completely support the fact that women can work and raise a child but I believe that if you choose to have a child you should not hesitate to give your child the hands-on attention that he/she needs.

 

[inaminute]

cindy, you don't have to like my opinion, and I don't have to pretend it's okay for you, a person who isn't even married yet, to act like having kids is the equivalent of learning to skydive.

it sucks, but kids need more than a mother who is more interested in a career.

 

[BluePhoenix]

It sounds like you've definitely made up your mind that this is what you want to do...so attempting to convince you that it's a bad idea is pointless. That being said, since you're determined to have a kid, you should definitely defer a year. Med school is a linear process, you can just make up the first section later on. Which means you may be in school right after having a baby or having it right at the beginning of the year. Starting the year off playing catch up is NOT a good idea....combining playing catch up with sleepless nights?...good luck.

Having babies in med school isn't that common, particularly in the beginning when you've got a lot of class and studying and such. There just isn't a good time in the first two years to take any sort of break to have a kid. Later in the 3rd or 4th year, when you've got rotations and could take 6 weeks off is definitely a better option...typically there's a period between the end of rotations before you start your residency that gives you a good amount of time.

Looking at all the opinions and comments on time committments and whatnot...it's hard to understand why you're so dead set on having a baby RIGHT NOW rather than waiting for a time when it might work better into your schedule. I understand that everyone has different priorities, but unless you're about to have chemo or getting into your mid 30s...there's really no reason to rush it. I think it shows a bit of immaturity on your part to be so dead set when there's an awfully good reason to wait at least a few years. What's the rush? Even if you take a year off, you'll still be insanely busy for the beginning of your child's life once you start med school. Waiting two years might give you a bit more time to enjoy your child's early years, which tend to be the most important.

Going to med school and having a baby are both HUGE time committments and it's a horrible (stupid) idea to try to take on both at the same time. Some med schools may be lenient but not by any significant amount, aside from maybe Minnesota-Twin Cities...and even then, there's probably rules about when you can take time off. Med school is a lifestyle, not just some classes you take.

 

[inaminute]

For christ sake, what is wrong with you? The woman is asking for advice on baby-friendly schools, not for your permission to have a baby. Just because you couldn't do it doesn't mean others couldn't. If you have nothing to contribute, why even bother? Do you honestly think this woman has not thought this out through many times over? Do you think some premed kid on the internet would change her mind??

For the record, I know many doctors who have had kids during med school. Most of those couples are still married, all of their kids are perfectly happy, and some of them are even pursuing medicine themselves.
Cindy- although I am not familiar with the baby friendliness of schools (most people here won't know either- best to call the schools yourself and ask), if you can balance family with school I have a tremendous amount of respect for you. I think when it comes to kids, it's all about quality, not quantity. Love your kids and do your best.

yes, and loving your kids and doing your best means mom raises them

thanks for agreeing 🙂

people who are getting angry about this should take a look at what is so upsetting about hearing my opinion. Methinks it's that they know I speak the truth.