Balancing grad school with social life/exercise

[Epak333]

Hi everyone!

This is kind of a more general question towards anyone who has been through grad school. As someone who enjoys working out and having somewhat of a social life, how difficult is it to balance these things while being in grad school (specifically a doctoral program)? Are there weeks at a time where you're strictly doing school/clinical work and have little time for anything else? Any tips? Thanks!

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[WisNeuro]

Hi everyone!

This is kind of a more general question towards anyone who has been through grad school. As someone who enjoys working out and having somewhat of a social life, how difficult is it to balance these things while being in grad school (specifically a doctoral program)? Are there weeks at a time where you're strictly doing school/clinical work and have little time for anything else? Any tips? Thanks!

We had a few grad students who were pretty active in Crossfit type stuff throughout grad school and had plenty of time for a social life/dating. There will definitely be deadline weeks where you are working 60+ hours on various things, so budgeting is always a priority. If you can speed read with good comprehension, all the better. If you can do that and write a 15 page paper in 2-3 hours, even better.

 

[R. Matey]

Agree with Wis. Very possible if you manage your time well. During deadlines not so much, but I knew many people who get married, had children, and traveled all while getting PhDs. The one snafu might be if you want a research career, since there might be a lot of pressure to pump out pubs prior to graduation.

 

[summerbabe]

If you have decent time management skills, decent stress management/coping strategies, can compartmentalize when needed and practice saying no sometimes, you can absolutely prioritize regular things like exercise and fun.

If you have traits like hyper perfectionism or things like anxiety or people pleasing drives force you to do everything immediately/excessively without care for your own needs, then yes, it will be a struggle until you figure out some more adaptive strategies.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

Agreed with both of the folks above--if you make it a priority, you'll find a way to fit it into your schedule. As was said, there may be days you'll need to skip or spend less time at the gym than originally planned, or weeks where you'll need to rearrange your work vs. workout schedule, but all in all and in hindsight, it wasn't any more difficult than it currently is with shifting work schedules and responsibilities.

Edit: completely left out social life. Grad school was one of the more social times of my life. It probably helped that almost everyone in my social circle at the time was also in grad school (in various subject areas). Same as with working out--there will be days or weeks where you'll need to temporarily forego social activities to meet a deadline, but as a whole, you can still have a social life.

 

[cara susanna]

I learned that, in grad school, you can't wait until you're done with everything to take breaks and have fun, because there will always be something you feel like you should be doing. So you just have to learn to take the time, and tolerate the discomfort of feeling like you're "slacking." Fun fact: I tell this same story to my therapy patients now, too.

I also had an awesome social life in grad school, perhaps the best I've ever had. My cohort hung out a lot, and then later I met my husband and hung out with him and his friends.

 

[Epak333]

We had a few grad students who were pretty active in Crossfit type stuff throughout grad school and had plenty of time for a social life/dating. There will definitely be deadline weeks where you are working 60+ hours on various things, so budgeting is always a priority. If you can speed read with good comprehension, all the better. If you can do that and write a 15 page paper in 2-3 hours, even better.

That's good to hear! I'm sure you definitely work on time management skills and can handle your schedule better the longer you're in a program too.

 

[Epak333]

Agree with Wis. Very possible if you manage your time well. During deadlines not so much, but I knew many people who get married, had children, and traveled all while getting PhDs. The one snafu might be if you want a research career, since there might be a lot of pressure to pump out pubs prior to graduation.

Good thing I very much do not want a career in research haha but thank you for sharing! I can't imagine having kids while going through a PhD program, major kudos to people who do that!

 

[Epak333]

If you have decent time management skills, decent stress management/coping strategies, can compartmentalize when needed and practice saying no sometimes, you can absolutely prioritize regular things like exercise and fun.

If you have traits like hyper perfectionism or things like anxiety or people pleasing drives force you to do everything immediately/excessively without care for your own needs, then yes, it will be a struggle until you figure out some more adaptive strategies.

I definitely struggle with perfectionism and anxiety but I think I have 100% gotten better with age and throughout college. I think some people shut down with anxiety a lot, but if you can use it as fuel to get things done I'm sure that's definitely helpful. But I agree with time and stress management! I think also grad school is one of those things where you have to hold yourself accountable for things, so if you aren't doing what needs to be done and self regulating/having a work life balance, getting through the program would be extremely hard.

 

[Epak333]

Agreed with both of the folks above--if you make it a priority, you'll find a way to fit it into your schedule. As was said, there may be days you'll need to skip or spend less time at the gym than originally planned, or weeks where you'll need to rearrange your work vs. workout schedule, but all in all and in hindsight, it wasn't any more difficult than it currently is with shifting work schedules and responsibilities.

Edit: completely left out social life. Grad school was one of the more social times of my life. It probably helped that almost everyone in my social circle at the time was also in grad school (in various subject areas). Same as with working out--there will be days or weeks where you'll need to temporarily forego social activities to meet a deadline, but as a whole, you can still have a social life.

That's very reassuring to hear! And true that most people you're socializing with are also in the same boat, so you can spend time talking about a lot of similar things which helps a lot. Plus I feel like even if there are super busy days where I can't do a full workout or go to the gym, even setting aside 20-30 mins to walk or run would make a lot of difference.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

I definitely struggle with perfectionism and anxiety but I think I have 100% gotten better with age and throughout college. I think some people shut down with anxiety a lot, but if you can use it as fuel to get things done I'm sure that's definitely helpful. But I agree with time and stress management! I think also grad school is one of those things where you have to hold yourself accountable for things, so if you aren't doing what needs to be done and self regulating/having a work life balance, getting through the program would be extremely hard.

There's definitely a helpful/adaptive level of anxiety. Same with attention to detail/perfectionism. You just have to be careful that it doesn't interfere with actually getting your stuff done. A skill in grad school is learning when "good enough" is enough.

 

[Epak333]

I learned that, in grad school, you can't wait until you're done with everything to take breaks and have fun, because there will always be something you feel like you should be doing. So you just have to learn to take the time, and tolerate the discomfort of feeling like you're "slacking." Fun fact: I tell this same story to my therapy patients now, too.

I also had an awesome social life in grad school, perhaps the best I've ever had. My cohort hung out a lot, and then later I met my husband and hung out with him and his friends.

That's super awesome to hear! I'm a naturally anxious person and the whole grad school process has been a lot, so this is all very reassuring to hear.

 

[Epak333]

There's definitely a helpful/adaptive level of anxiety. Same with attention to detail/perfectionism. You just have to be careful that it doesn't interfere with actually getting your stuff done. A skill in grad school is learning when "good enough" is enough.

Yes haha definitely something I need to work on but also it's something I feel I have gotten a lot better with. I do struggle with the good enough, I feel like I tend to spend too much time on things rather than just getting the right amount of what needs to get done. This is all super helpful to keep in mind though!

 

[summerbabe]

There's definitely a helpful/adaptive level of anxiety. Same with attention to detail/perfectionism. You just have to be careful that it doesn't interfere with actually getting your stuff done. A skill in grad school is learning when "good enough" is enough.

100% agree with this sentiment.

For everything that comes one's way via school/grad school, you can always potentially do more. But do we really need to? That's actually a very internally driven process and one that many successful students struggle with in their own ways.

And since we are also reinforced and often rewarded by our environments to give more and more and more, it's largely up to us to identify and navigate those boundaries.

Got a paper due for class? If you did 1 round of edits, then you can do 2. But if you did 2, maybe a 3rd one will make it even better.

Me, I learned that I needed to draw the line at 0 edits and just turn the damn thing in and move on (at least for 'check the box' type of things, which then freed up energy to take care of myself or put more energy into the academic things that I felt like really mattered).

 

[R. Matey]

I also had an awesome social life in grad school, perhaps the best I've ever had. My cohort hung out a lot, and then later I met my husband and hung out with him and his friends.

Same! I wonder how common of an experience this is for psychologists. I keep in touch with my cohort, but we're all over the place now.

 

[Pragma]

I learned that, in grad school, you can't wait until you're done with everything to take breaks and have fun, because there will always be something you feel like you should be doing.

Only in grad school?

Good advice for work in general, although I would say academia seems to hold a special status for indoctrinating people with guilt for not constantly working on things outside of work.

 

[Dazen]

Me, I learned that I needed to draw the line at 0 edits and just turn the damn thing in and move on (at least for 'check the box' type of things, which then freed up energy to take care of myself or put more energy into the academic things that I felt like really mattered).

I so strongly agree with this. I don't think I've edited a single class paper since starting grad school and have been doing completely fine grade-wise. With how limited time is in grad school, learning what it looks like to truly deprioritize things that are least important but still need to get done is important.

I've also been able to have a great work/life balance in grad school! I'm probably on the higher hours end (because I'm interested in academia), but still find time to participate in a local choir, go to weekly pub trivia, play video games, walk my overly energetic dog, have friends, and otherwise enjoy my life. There certainly times when it's harder, but on average I've really enjoyed my experience. Having so much flexibility of time and location relative to most jobs helps a lot with that too.

 

[Fan_of_Meehl]

Hi everyone!

This is kind of a more general question towards anyone who has been through grad school. As someone who enjoys working out and having somewhat of a social life, how difficult is it to balance these things while being in grad school (specifically a doctoral program)? Are there weeks at a time where you're strictly doing school/clinical work and have little time for anything else? Any tips? Thanks!

I remember my first day of grad school where all the new grad students were sitting in one room with the training director (an orientation meeting). Someone asked Dr. M. a similar question about social life in graduate school and having time to do hobbies, television, etc. Dr. M. just shook his head and and uttered two words..."No TV."

 

[erg923]

Hi everyone!

This is kind of a more general question towards anyone who has been through grad school. As someone who enjoys working out and having somewhat of a social life, how difficult is it to balance these things while being in grad school (specifically a doctoral program)? Are there weeks at a time where you're strictly doing school/clinical work and have little time for anything else? Any tips? Thanks!

I mean yea. But mostly no. Grad school, and later in grad school into internship in particular was probably the healthiest I had been since high school. Fit, relatively muscular, minimal alcohol on an regular basis. We had very little money to do anything, no children, and streaming television/networks didn't really exist yet. Wish I could say I was as disciplined as I was 12 years ago.

 

[PsychPhDone]

Same! I wonder how common of an experience this is for psychologists. I keep in touch with my cohort, but we're all over the place now.

Same. Grad school was my most social and physically active life stage.

 

[Epak333]

100% agree with this sentiment.

For everything that comes one's way via school/grad school, you can always potentially do more. But do we really need to? That's actually a very internally driven process and one that many successful students struggle with in their own ways.

And since we are also reinforced and often rewarded by our environments to give more and more and more, it's largely up to us to identify and navigate those boundaries.

Got a paper due for class? If you did 1 round of edits, then you can do 2. But if you did 2, maybe a 3rd one will make it even better.

Me, I learned that I needed to draw the line at 0 edits and just turn the damn thing in and move on (at least for 'check the box' type of things, which then freed up energy to take care of myself or put more energy into the academic things that I felt like really mattered).

Great point and I definitely struggle with this. I think sometimes it's hard to tell whether what you did is enough or not, especially depending on how specific certain assignments are (and even professors/faculty are). I very much struggle with doing the minimum of what needs to be done sometimes, but I think for grad school I'll be so tied up with so many different things that it'll force me to start doing that (which will probably be a good thing). I appreciate your input!

 

[Epak333]

I so strongly agree with this. I don't think I've edited a single class paper since starting grad school and have been doing completely fine grade-wise. With how limited time is in grad school, learning what it looks like to truly deprioritize things that are least important but still need to get done is important.

I've also been able to have a great work/life balance in grad school! I'm probably on the higher hours end (because I'm interested in academia), but still find time to participate in a local choir, go to weekly pub trivia, play video games, walk my overly energetic dog, have friends, and otherwise enjoy my life. There certainly times when it's harder, but on average I've really enjoyed my experience. Having so much flexibility of time and location relative to most jobs helps a lot with that too.

That's awesome to hear! And I'm sure being around your cohort almost everyday brings you a lot closer so, in a way, it's probably easier to have a social life.

 

[PsyDr]

And I'm sure being around your cohort almost everyday brings you a lot closer so, in a way, it's probably easier to have a social life.

I would HIGHLY encourage you to google "Lab-cest". If you get too close, there can be drama.

At least, that's what I heard.

 

[WisNeuro]

I would HIGHLY encourage you to google "Lab-cest". If you get too close, there can be drama.

At least, that's what I heard.

I adhered closely to the "don't **** where you eat" rule in grad school. Lab and cohort mates were off limits.

 

[Epak333]

I would HIGHLY encourage you to google "Lab-cest". If you get too close, there can be drama.

At least, that's what I heard.

Yes haha I've heard of that, it kind of stinks that it's such a small group so if there is drama it would make it awkward. I just meant more-so you're with each other a lot and know each other pretty well, so you can talk about similar things and struggle together lol

 

[WisNeuro]

Yes haha I've heard of that, it kind of stinks that it's such a small group so if there is drama it would make it awkward. I just meant more-so you're with each other a lot and know each other pretty well, so you can talk about similar things and struggle together lol

Is it all that surprising that in a close, small group, it could get awkward of people start sleeping together?

 

[Sanman]

I would HIGHLY encourage you to google "Lab-cest". If you get too close, there can be drama.

At least, that's what I heard.

I adhered closely to the "don't **** where you eat" rule in grad school. Lab and cohort mates were off limits.

Is it all that surprising that in a close, small group, it could get awkward of people start sleeping together?

Agreed, a number of people in my program did not adhere to that rule and the results were just about universally bad.

 

[Epak333]

Is it all that surprising that in a close, small group, it could get awkward of people start sleeping together?

I mean I would hope people aren't sleeping with their cohort....I was thinking more about fight/disagreements. But I'm sure both happen, I can't imagine doing that

 

[WisNeuro]

I mean I would hope people aren't sleeping with their cohort....I was thinking more about fight/disagreements. But I'm sure both happen, I can't imagine doing that

Yes. I was referring to the labcest comment, which is specifically referring to romantic entanglements.

 

[cara susanna]

My program was 99% women (and as far as I know, they all identified as heterosexual) so that was less of an issue for us, lol.

 

[Epak333]

Yes. I was referring to the labcest comment, which is specifically referring to romantic entanglements.

Yea I figured that lol yikes

 

[AcronymAllergy]

There was a decent amount of dating in my program across labs. I can only think of one or two couples that were in the same lab.

But if you're at all concerned about it, yeah, just keep the romantic activities outside the program.

 

[singasongofjoy]

consciously look for ways that you can dovetail those things when possible. E.g., studying/working on laptop with grad school friends at a local coffee shop with plans to get dinner after - kind of social + academic (i personally appreciated the accountability that gave me to show up and spend a large chunk of time working on something I was not looking forward to), or working out / joining an intramural type sports team with friends (a group of us joined kickball, dodgeball), or go through flashcards and the like while on the treadmill or whatever.

 

[Epak333]

consciously look for ways that you can dovetail those things when possible. E.g., studying/working on laptop with grad school friends at a local coffee shop with plans to get dinner after - kind of social + academic (i personally appreciated the accountability that gave me to show up and spend a large chunk of time working on something I was not looking forward to), or working out / joining an intramural type sports team with friends (a group of us joined kickball, dodgeball), or go through flashcards and the like while on the treadmill or whatever.

Yes, that's awesome! I'll definitely keep that in mind