Hi all,
Apologies in advance if this is in the wrong forum, but I am a current third year student hoping to apply to OB/GYN residencies. I received my STEP score one week ago, and barely passed. I made a 200. It shocks me, and yet it doesn't surprise me, because although I was in the 220s-230s range on practice exams and averaged an 80% on UWorld (timed), my scores tend to suffer on the real deal (same with my MCAT).
...I'm not quite sure where to go from here. I had a B average during pre-clinical years, had some posters/presentations (4) from summer research (not in the OB/GYN field)... I haven't done my OB/GYN rotation yet, but I absolutely love my third year so far; I get a feel that my patients enjoy having me as part of their team of providers, and I have received positive comments from my attendings and residents. I worked incredibly hard on some organizations during my pre-clinical years that were also passion projects, and continue to help out as a third year when I can. Those organizations are related to OB/GYN issues. I also helped create an OB/GYN-related elective (electives are student-run at our school) that is available for first and second year students.
I just...I don't know what to do. I find it hard to chock it all up to test anxiety, because this mostly started in medical school. I have had problems with depression and anxiety in the past, and I think those issues finally bubbled over during my studying. I just...I remember this happening during my MCAT, and the vicious cycle of depression and defeat that colored my medical school interview cycle. I somehow received an offer from a top 20 US medical school, which I accepted.
I guess...I'm just looking for advice. I don't want this score to cloud the rest of my third year, but I'm struggling justify my continuation of medical school. I loved what I have experienced of third year, but my luck of getting into the school I currently attend will probably not happen again with regards to residency (if I even have a shot at residency). I'm also worried about my mental health, and it affecting the ways in which I can improve myself, both as a proto-physician (if that's even in my cards at this point) and residency candidate (my current rotation, future rotations, end-of-rotation shelf exams, STEP 2). I remember how I was after bombing my MCAT, and I was afraid of the same thing happening during STEP 1, and it did. And with this score, I'm afraid it's like a pack of dominos, in that my STEP score will affect my already low confidence and self-esteem so much so, that I won't do well on shelf exams or STEP 2 or my rotations.
Knowing my score now, I just...I don't know how I can get past this. I've been told not to let this define me, but this does define my residency application for a career that also dictates my personal life. A STEP 1 score casts a long shadow, and I doubt any of us would be in medical school if we didn't take grades a bit personally. There is also a sting of shame. My school is know for producing stellar STEP scores and people that place into top residencies, and my friends have all received super scores, and I just feel like I don't deserve to be here or that I've somehow failed not only myself, but all of the people who bent over backwards to support me while I studied.
I was thinking about talking to the OB/GYN clerkship director, even though I haven't done OB/GYN yet... I have a notoriously lighter rotation after my OB/GYN rotation, and could perhaps take on a bit of clinical research if it helps me get a publication.
I apologize for the "stream-of-consciousness" nature of this post. I'm not even quite sure about the specifics of advice that I am asking...perhaps something like, "Where do I go from here?" I'd appreciate any help...whether it's similar experiences, to the possibility of still getting into a residency, to just getting out funk that this score has put me in.
Thank you.
Apologies in advance if this is in the wrong forum, but I am a current third year student hoping to apply to OB/GYN residencies. I received my STEP score one week ago, and barely passed. I made a 200. It shocks me, and yet it doesn't surprise me, because although I was in the 220s-230s range on practice exams and averaged an 80% on UWorld (timed), my scores tend to suffer on the real deal (same with my MCAT).
...I'm not quite sure where to go from here. I had a B average during pre-clinical years, had some posters/presentations (4) from summer research (not in the OB/GYN field)... I haven't done my OB/GYN rotation yet, but I absolutely love my third year so far; I get a feel that my patients enjoy having me as part of their team of providers, and I have received positive comments from my attendings and residents. I worked incredibly hard on some organizations during my pre-clinical years that were also passion projects, and continue to help out as a third year when I can. Those organizations are related to OB/GYN issues. I also helped create an OB/GYN-related elective (electives are student-run at our school) that is available for first and second year students.
I just...I don't know what to do. I find it hard to chock it all up to test anxiety, because this mostly started in medical school. I have had problems with depression and anxiety in the past, and I think those issues finally bubbled over during my studying. I just...I remember this happening during my MCAT, and the vicious cycle of depression and defeat that colored my medical school interview cycle. I somehow received an offer from a top 20 US medical school, which I accepted.
I guess...I'm just looking for advice. I don't want this score to cloud the rest of my third year, but I'm struggling justify my continuation of medical school. I loved what I have experienced of third year, but my luck of getting into the school I currently attend will probably not happen again with regards to residency (if I even have a shot at residency). I'm also worried about my mental health, and it affecting the ways in which I can improve myself, both as a proto-physician (if that's even in my cards at this point) and residency candidate (my current rotation, future rotations, end-of-rotation shelf exams, STEP 2). I remember how I was after bombing my MCAT, and I was afraid of the same thing happening during STEP 1, and it did. And with this score, I'm afraid it's like a pack of dominos, in that my STEP score will affect my already low confidence and self-esteem so much so, that I won't do well on shelf exams or STEP 2 or my rotations.
Knowing my score now, I just...I don't know how I can get past this. I've been told not to let this define me, but this does define my residency application for a career that also dictates my personal life. A STEP 1 score casts a long shadow, and I doubt any of us would be in medical school if we didn't take grades a bit personally. There is also a sting of shame. My school is know for producing stellar STEP scores and people that place into top residencies, and my friends have all received super scores, and I just feel like I don't deserve to be here or that I've somehow failed not only myself, but all of the people who bent over backwards to support me while I studied.
I was thinking about talking to the OB/GYN clerkship director, even though I haven't done OB/GYN yet... I have a notoriously lighter rotation after my OB/GYN rotation, and could perhaps take on a bit of clinical research if it helps me get a publication.
I apologize for the "stream-of-consciousness" nature of this post. I'm not even quite sure about the specifics of advice that I am asking...perhaps something like, "Where do I go from here?" I'd appreciate any help...whether it's similar experiences, to the possibility of still getting into a residency, to just getting out funk that this score has put me in.
Thank you.
