Being Professional is hard

[vafcarrot]

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I've been having some drama at work and it's really petty and stupid and I don't know how to handle it. I've talked to my manager about it and he hasn't done anything to help fix the situation.



There was a guy hired at the beginning of April. He is the most self-righteous, condesending, and hypocritcal person I have ever met.

I could go on into all the details of why he is so horrible, but that would take up the whole page. Anyway, I've gotten to the point where I don't talk to him (no hello, goodbye, how are you) unless it is completely necessary and no one else at work can help me. Even so, he still manages to insult me on a daily basis and put down the way that I live my life.

I feel like it's really unprofessional just not to talk to someone at your work place, but I feel like my only other option is to criticize him as much as he does me.

I've tried to just brush of his comments and be nice to him but I can't handle anymore of his blatant remarks that I don't dress right (because, according to him, sandles and shorts are proper attire for working in a pharmacy), that I don't stand up straight, that the food I eat is crap, that I have no tastes because I'm a vegetarian, that I don't know how to handle my money well (which pisses me off the most because he knows NOTHING about my bank account), that I'm too white, that I'm slowly killing myself because I don't take enough vitamins (the man takes over 20 pills a day).

Please give me some advice people. I know that when i do eventually become a pharmacist, it will be hard to just flat out ignore people, but I just don't know what else to do. It's gotten to the point where I hate going into work and the start of pharmacy school is getting more and more appealing because I'll be cutting back my hours that I won't have to be around him.

Why do people exist that are so nasty? I just don't understand it.

 

[DownonthePharm]

Just agree with everything he says. Hes trying to start an arguement and this will diffuse him:

You dress like crap! Yes, I do dress like crap.
Your too white! Yes, I am very white arent I.
Eat more vitamins! Yes, I should try to eat more vitamins.

Then walk or turn away.

You will bore him. He will leave you alone.

 

[gdawg102]

.

 

[ultracet]

that really sucks. if you ignore the guy and he really won't stop then i can understand how it would be very frustrating... i can say try not to let it get to you and his comments mean nothing all day long but the reality of it is that if it gets to you it gets to you. you can try to make everything into a joke...

you could also start when he comes in the door... "yeah yeah yeah i know.... i don't dress right. i don't stand up straight. i'm too white. i don't know anything about food. i'm poor. and i'm dying because i don't take vitamins. can we get on with working??"

or....
when he says.... "you're too white, that's ugly and you need some sun" -- well sun causes cancer
"you're not healthy because you don't take vitamins" -- vitamins cause cancer
"you don't know anything about food, you should eat meat its good for you" -- meat causes cancer
"you don't know anything about money and don't handle it well" -- rich men don't get into heaven

i think the primary thing is to try not to get riled up about it. and honestly.... i think its all in attempt to make you look stupid. is this person jealous of something?

 

[bananaface]

If there is something he says that is about your personal life (finances, being a vegetarin, etc) tell him that your personal life is none of his business. If it's work related criticism, tell him that if he has a problem that he should take it up with your supervisor. Of course, it's all so petty and meaningless that he won't. So, it equates to saying "shut up".

 

[pharmaz88]

There is NO reason why you should have to put up with this crap, or make it a game, or be exposed to it in any way. Have you already told the offender specifically that he is not to address you unless something is work-related? If so, then you need to FIRMLY bring this up with your manager again, and if nothing is still done, don't hesitate to go above his head, since he obviously is incapable of performing his role (managing).

 

[Caverject]

If there is something he says that is about your personal life (finances, being a vegetarin, etc) tell him that your personal life is none of his business. If it's work related criticism, tell him that if he has a problem that he should take it up with your supervisor. Of course, it's all so petty and meaningless that he won't. So, it equates to saying "shut up".

Do what bananaface does to me when I am ultra mean. Ignore or come up with a great comeback. 🙂

On second thought, maybe your best bet is to seduce him.

On third thought, and seriously, he probably really likes you. (Hopefully you flash your pretty ring while you're there) He just has an odd way of showing it. I used to be like that a few years ago until I realized how much of a jackass I was most of the time by making fun of people. If you have the ability to do it, shed a tear in front of his face next time he makes a remark. He probably has no idea how much it hurts you. That was my motivating factor to completely change my personality. Now I just save my trollish remarks for Anna 😉

Do not flame back at this dude either!

 

[bananaface]

Do what bananaface does to me when I am ultra mean. Ignore or come up with a great comeback. 🙂

On second thought, maybe your best bet is to seduce him.

Do not flame back at this dude either!

Is this supposed to be coded advice me?

I agree that flaming back is a bad option.

 

[drhemi70]

Try this line it seems to help disarm people who act like this.
-Opions vary
Then bring up the issue with HR at your company and get a file started on this guy. That way the company has ammo to fire him with.
Lastly if your feeling really vindictive(sp?) tell HR that some of his comments could be taken as sexual harrasment. If I were a betting man I would bet that saying this would get the company to take some action right away, as no company wants to get a reputation of harboring sexual harrasers.

 

[twester]

If there is something he says that is about your personal life (finances, being a vegetarin, etc) tell him that your personal life is none of his business. If it's work related criticism, tell him that if he has a problem that he should take it up with your supervisor. Of course, it's all so petty and meaningless that he won't. So, it equates to saying "shut up".

This approach worked for me. I calmly stated to a woman at work who felt that she could fix my fatigue-induced semi-grumpiness that she was "inserting herself into something that was none of her business". That it wasn't appreciated and wouldn't be tolerated. She left me alone and we now keep a respectful distance from each other.

Directness is your friend.

Troy

 

[PharmDr.]

Are you serious? I would not put up with this guys crap. I would tell him that it is none of his freakin business. Like you guys said, if it is not work related, then dont bring it up. I would go directly to HR and make sure the district manager knows about this guys antics. If you tell him to stop and he still continues, then he is harrassing you plain and simple. Dont take it anymore. I would not want him being the "professional" to rely on. Personal insults in a pharmacy? Very immature and unprofessional. SCREW HIM, it is HIS problem, not yours. Think of it this way, it will help.

 

[aubieRx]

just laugh him off. Not to make your situation seem trite (which its not) but the things he is telling you made me laugh because they are so stupid.

Consider him a pretentious idiot. Nothing he says really has anything to do with you.

I used to think all people were professional, nice and sane and then I saw the real world in all its glory. Some people are petty, passive aggressive and they lie like snakes.

Just brush it off unless it has started to interefere with your ability to work.

 

[vafcarrot]

I talked to my manager again about it today. He said that the next time something was said to me that I didn't like I needed to call him out on it and tell him to stop. And if he didn't stop or it got worse, to tell him (the manager) and he would take care of it. When I say something to him I'll try to be professional about it, but it's going to be hard not to explode.

I'll let you know what happens with the situation.

thanks for all the advice people.

(the guy is married, so I don't hope he has a crush on me. And I think he has this inferiority complex where he has to put other people down to feel better about themselves. I hope it's working for him, because he sure can find a way to make me feel like crap).

 

[bananaface]

Think of it this way...

If you lose control, he wins. If you control him, you win.

You want to win, don't you?

 

[28657]

On third thought, and seriously, he probably really likes you. (Hopefully you flash your pretty ring while you're there) He just has an odd way of showing it.

I totally agree with Caverject. Boys are DUMB, so they think picking on you is flirtatious. Even though he's married, I would bet he's gotta crush. 😛

Next time you see him tell him you need a refill on your Aldara ASAP, maybe that'll keep him at bay. 😀

 

[NYCillini]

By the way you are describing his comments...the guy definately has an inferiority complex....no question about it. Owing up to his comments (i.e. accepting that you are too white, too poor, etc) and ignoring him completely might not actually put the problem to rest.

I agree that the best way to put a stop to the problem is to have a private eye to eye conversation with him. Explain to him that your work is very important to you and his comments are doing nothing of the sort to accomplish your daily duties. Suggest that if he wants to help the best way to do that is for him to focus on his own work.