Hey people, from what I've gathered it seems like there are often cohorts of 10-12 people that have maybe 1 male and sometimes none. Just wondering how many male grad students/psychologists are on here and if you found this to be the case and if you felt there were any drawbacks to this (social gatherings being "girls nights" , etc). I read on here also that women also shy away from males who are doing grad programs in psychology in terms of dating. I'm moving to a new area and starting a new program in the fall and just recently have began thinking about this. Thanks 👍🙂
Being the only male in a cohort
- Thread starter dydx
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No need to worry about this at all. From what i've seen, male graduate students in psychology do not have problems dating (there are more female graduate students than male graduate students in most departments, not just psychology) and most end up married/partnered by the time they graduate too. In fact, single male psychologists are a rare breed. There are a good # who end up marrying female psychologists actually. I don't think there is anything wrong with being single. Just responding to your concern that women shy away from males in psychology. Even the socially awkward male graduate students seem to land someone in graduate school.
ADDED: APA published a cover story on men in the field of psychology. http://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2011/01/cover-men.aspx
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I wasn't the only male in my cohort (of the ~11 incoming clinical folks, 3 were males), so I can't speak to that experience. There were certainly more females across the department as a whole, although I never felt that to be a negative, whether it be in professional or social situations. At the same time, most of my male friends in grad school were non-psychology students, so having them around to hang out with no doubt helped.
As for dating, as PHD12 mentioned, I've never found having gone into psychology to be a problem, whether it be with psych or non-psych folks. Many people do tend to get married while in grad school or shortly thereafter (again, as PHD12 pointed out), but there are still quite a few of us single folks out there, so it hasn't been an issue in my case.
As for dating, as PHD12 mentioned, I've never found having gone into psychology to be a problem, whether it be with psych or non-psych folks. Many people do tend to get married while in grad school or shortly thereafter (again, as PHD12 pointed out), but there are still quite a few of us single folks out there, so it hasn't been an issue in my case.
I found grad school night life to be vastly different from undergrad. Maybe it was because a lot of people had come from different states, but our cohort (10-15 people) all got a long very well, and were very supportive in making sure everyone was included in activities if they wanted to be. Some people in my program dated within (some success, though much more awkwardness when things went awry). But overall, being a single male in grad school has a lot of perks, even if you are socially awkward. Some could say guys shy away from women in Physics Ph.D. programs, but you must be careful of stereotypes🙂
I'm sure there are some women who shy away from male psychology students. There are also women who shy away from computer science students (they're too nerdy), business students (they have no ethics and only care about money), philosophy students (they'll never earn a respectable salary), music students (they need to grow up and get a real degree), etc..
Obviously, I'm joking. You work with some people, you won't with others. Chances are that even if you switched to business, folks who aren't interested in you still wouldn't be interested in you. You'd also be a lot less happy (assuming you've thought through this whole career-choice thing) and folks interested in you because you are happy and love what you do also wouldn't be interested in you anymore. In short, don't pick a career based off anticipated impact on your dating options. I met my wife as a grad student. She's a biostatistician and was one of the few women in her class. We somehow managed to make it work (again... joking).
As for your social life...yeah, I suppose it can make it a bit tougher to find someone to watch football with (maybe), but you'll meet people in other years and chances are you'll interact with folks in other areas of the department if your school has them (and most any area except developmental will typically have more males than clinical). Honestly, out of all the challenges/stressors of grad school this probably isn't even worth having on your radar.
Obviously, I'm joking. You work with some people, you won't with others. Chances are that even if you switched to business, folks who aren't interested in you still wouldn't be interested in you. You'd also be a lot less happy (assuming you've thought through this whole career-choice thing) and folks interested in you because you are happy and love what you do also wouldn't be interested in you anymore. In short, don't pick a career based off anticipated impact on your dating options. I met my wife as a grad student. She's a biostatistician and was one of the few women in her class. We somehow managed to make it work (again... joking).
As for your social life...yeah, I suppose it can make it a bit tougher to find someone to watch football with (maybe), but you'll meet people in other years and chances are you'll interact with folks in other areas of the department if your school has them (and most any area except developmental will typically have more males than clinical). Honestly, out of all the challenges/stressors of grad school this probably isn't even worth having on your radar.
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I'd say it depends on how you and the other person(s) approach the relationship(s). If you're the type of person who can amicably end a relationship if things aren't going well, and the other person is the same, then you'll be fine. However, if you've had somewhat...dramatic former relationships, then yes, you might want to shy away from dating colleagues with whom you'll need to continue to work professionally in the future.
I personally dated within my department and didn't have any problems, and know of many others with similar experiences. However, I also know of a couple instances where things were awkward afterward, although to the best of my knowledge it never actually interfered with anyone's work.
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Hopefully both people have the ability to accurately predict that...
The grad students in our program generally discouraged within-clinical dating, though it was okay to date some of the other psych areas, like social or quant. I would more strongly discourage within-lab dating though (you know, folks with the same advisor). We jokingly called that "labcest," but it was discouraged because it could affect the dynamic of the folks within the lab if a subset are dating. I've heard some stories from another program where dating within cohort or the clinical area was more common. It sounded like it could be a hot mess at times!
The only problem I heard about the males in my program was if they had a long-distance (female) partner. Having to spend a lot of time with other women because you end up working with and socializing with them can lead to some insecurity for some folks.
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Hopefully both people have the ability to accurately predict that...
The grad students in our program generally discouraged within-clinical dating, though it was okay to date some of the other psych areas, like social or quant since we didn't interact with them as closely. I would more strongly discourage within-lab dating though (you know, folks with the same advisor). We jokingly called that "labcest," but it was discouraged because it could affect the dynamic of the folks within the lab if a subset are dating. I've heard some stories from another program where dating within cohort or the clinical area was more common. It sounded like it could be a hot mess at times!
The only problem I heard about the males in my program was if they had a long-distance (female) partner. Having to spend a lot of time with other women because you end up working with and socializing with them can lead to some insecurity for some folks.
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While dating in grad school (as Ollie alluded to in a different light) I found being in psychology to be an excellent "screener". When you tell women what you do, I tend to think the response is often very telling. A woman who has a "oooh, he's analyzing me" response isnt going to be attractive (to me) long term anyways.
I always stuck with the dont date in your department rule for myself.. I'm hardly dramatic, but I've watched dramatic interdepartment relationships explode previously.. No. Thank. You.
I also met my wife while she was in grad school (different departments, same university). She's a speech pathologist, and I imagine that because their program is usually 20:1 (female-male ratio) it is marginalizing for the males. They have a lot of "girls night" type stuff. My program is probably 4:1 ratio, and I've never noticed any real problems with that, but I tend to try to sidestep political/emotional departmental drama anyways.
I always stuck with the dont date in your department rule for myself.. I'm hardly dramatic, but I've watched dramatic interdepartment relationships explode previously.. No. Thank. You.
I also met my wife while she was in grad school (different departments, same university). She's a speech pathologist, and I imagine that because their program is usually 20:1 (female-male ratio) it is marginalizing for the males. They have a lot of "girls night" type stuff. My program is probably 4:1 ratio, and I've never noticed any real problems with that, but I tend to try to sidestep political/emotional departmental drama anyways.
I'm the only male in my cohort, and I hang out frequently with my cohort. I wouldn't worry about feeling left out socially - there are some things I do with my cohort that I normally wouldn't do with my male friends like going out dancing, but otherwise social gatherings are pretty much the same.
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Maybe I'm a snob, but i generally hold to the Seinfeld rule of thumb regarding this matter. So, not so easy as you would think. Except for me (and you) of course....
JERRY: Elaine, what percentage of people would you say are good looking?
ELAINE: Twenty-five percent.
JERRY: Twenty-five percent, you say? No way! Its like 4 to 6 percent. Its a twenty to one shot.
ELAINE: Youre way off.
JERRY: Way off? Have you been to the motor vehicle bureau? Its like a leper colony down there.
ELAINE: So what you are saying is that 90 to 95 percent of the population is undateable?
JERRY: UNDATEABLE!
ELAINE: Then how are all these people getting together?
JERRY: Alcohol.
LOL. Gosh, I miss seinfeld!
Sanman
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I was 1 of 2 males in my cohort. I didn't find that being a grad student had an effect on my dating life. However, finding guys to hang out with was interesting. It got better as I progressed since single straight guys came in the classes after mine
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Try to develop relationships and friendships outside your department in the broader university community and thetown where you will be living. Its easy to live grad school in a doctoral student bubble. I have a group of guys I hang with who do "guy" things with interests totally unrelated to psychology .. beer, sports, beer, movies, beer, science fiction geek stuff, beer, music, beer,.. etc... Its hard in grad school given the time commitments but necessary to lead a balanced life. Avoid dating anyone in your department either. It is not unethical but it can get quite sticky.
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