biggest challenge secondary essay-- am i an idiot?

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qtpai

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For my secondary essay.

I may just be sensitive, but my biggest challenge isn't really something that goes away.

I hate very much the suffering in the world. To me, it is pretty pervasive, and there seem to be no solutions. I can do my small part, but that's it.

For me, it started while I volunteered. I was originally pre-med, but volunteering in a psychiatric hospital, it broke my heart to see the situation was so bad. I wrote a thesis about this, trying to understand the sociology of this psychiatric hospital.

After graduation, I decided to move to a very crime ridden area to understand more about the living situation of the kinds of people I saw at the psychiatric hospital.

This too was awful. I tutored little kids, I spent some time with drug dealers, I lived with a graffiti artist, I taught myself Spanish and read books to understand the situation. But I hated the situation, and it made me question the depth and, ultimately, superficiality of my own commitment to things in life.

On my own, I began to read a huge amount of history, sociology, and many of the great social thinkers. Eventually, I went back to the ancient authors to discover that these are old problems. I tried to apply what I have learned to thinking about the world and coming to terms with my own sense of it.

I am now in my late 20s, several years after graduating. I have returned to the idea of medicine, because I know the world is not perfect, perhaps not even good, but I still think I can have some role in making some people's lives better. Even if it is difficult to really help people and make the world better--maybe in some profound sense, it is impossible--I can still do my small part.

I have dealt with my sense that the world is not good through a kind of humble pragmatism and "letting go" when there is nothing I can do. I can meditate, I can reflect on it, I can try to conceptualize it, but it is always an irritation. I will always feel a certain sense of impotence. On the other hand, it is also one of the big reasons I am attracted to medicine.

I am worried that this could be a red flag, because I really cannot 100% come to terms with this problem. I am really also concerned that this is not a specific problem, and therefore it doesn't qualify as a conventional example. However, my specific problems are really quite stupid, and I don't consider them real challenges compared to a more general, existential challenge of living in a faulty world.

I am not a dour person, and I am not a super cheerful person either. I'd say I am average. I am not depressed. I just see life directly in the eyes--or at least I think I do. And goddamn this secondary application process, I can't seem to write these essays in a way that doesn't make me feel like an idiot.

Am I an idiot?
 
For my secondary essay.

I may just be sensitive, but my biggest challenge isn't really something that goes away.

I hate very much the suffering in the world. To me, it is pretty pervasive, and there seem to be no solutions. I can do my small part, but that's it.

For me, it started while I volunteered. I was originally pre-med, but volunteering in a psychiatric hospital, it broke my heart to see the situation was so bad. I wrote a thesis about this, trying to understand the sociology of this psychiatric hospital.

After graduation, I decided to move to a very crime ridden area to understand more about the living situation of the kinds of people I saw at the psychiatric hospital.

This too was awful. I tutored little kids, I spent some time with drug dealers, I lived with a graffiti artist, I taught myself Spanish and read books to understand the situation. But I hated the situation, and it made me question the depth and, ultimately, superficiality of my own commitment to things in life.

On my own, I began to read a huge amount of history, sociology, and many of the great social thinkers. Eventually, I went back to the ancient authors to discover that these are old problems. I tried to apply what I have learned to thinking about the world and coming to terms with my own sense of it.

I am now in my late 20s, several years after graduating. I have returned to the idea of medicine, because I know the world is not perfect, perhaps not even good, but I still think I can have some role in making some people's lives better. Even if it is difficult to really help people and make the world better--maybe in some profound sense, it is impossible--I can still do my small part.

I have dealt with my sense that the world is not good through a kind of humble pragmatism and "letting go" when there is nothing I can do. I can meditate, I can reflect on it, I can try to conceptualize it, but it is always an irritation. I will always feel a certain sense of impotence. On the other hand, it is also one of the big reasons I am attracted to medicine.

I am worried that this could be a red flag, because I really cannot 100% come to terms with this problem. I am really also concerned that this is not a specific problem, and therefore it doesn't qualify as a conventional example. However, my specific problems are really quite stupid, and I don't consider them real challenges compared to a more general, existential challenge of living in a faulty world.

I am not a dour person, and I am not a super cheerful person either. I'd say I am average. I am not depressed. I just see life directly in the eyes--or at least I think I do. And goddamn this secondary application process, I can't seem to write these essays in a way that doesn't make me feel like an idiot.

Am I an idiot?

Wait, have you already submitted this essay or are you asking for advice on whether to use this topic?
 
You are not an idiot.

I felt the same way when I researched abroad, especially when I saw a Mother Teresa Foundation-based orphanage caregiver put the dead orphan in the cardboard box and simply threw it away in the backyard without any formal funeral, without any emotion. That orphan was completely forgotten.

Anyways, back to your post, I think the biggest challenge you describe is the challenge that "the society faces," rather than "you are facing." In other words, are there any challenges you personally struggled through? It could be small things, like "tutoring little kids" that you mentioned above. It should be a small scale compared to what you described above. Maybe you can pick some activities you mentioned like working with a graffiti artist, and was there a small conflict or challenge that you encountered and overcame? You said you self-taught Spanish and read a lot of books. That's one way to "overcome" a challenge, but can you direct these efforts to a smaller conflict?
 
Seems a little existential for an application essay. These people dont have time to ponder the inherent unfairness of the universe, they just want you to demonstrate that you can handle the work and wont be a turbo douche on the wards.

It's ok to think these thoughts, but I don't know that I'd go full on philosophical mode in the secondary.
 
The essay is geared towards letting the admission committee understand how you cope with difficulty (your coping skills) and see the presence of a solid support network. It is not an invitation for a sob story.
 
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The challenge you faced was coming to terms with your own limitations, with how little you could do to fix the problems of the world. You overcame it by realizing that even though you could never do 'enough', what you can do could be worthwhile and important.

Just be sure to bring it down to earth --
 
I don't quite understand where your questions begin/end and where the "essay" begins/ends.

I think you are a talented writer, but your subject matter makes you sound like a depressed philosopher who is fed up with the world and given up hope... either that, or an ethnographer who hates our medical culture. Honestly, it's kind of an annoying essay to read because it leaves me feeling like you're trying to be very deep and philosophical about something you honestly have no control over. It's great to wax philosophical, but I think this isn't the place for it. Plus, what do drug dealers and graffiti have to do with this major challenge? -- there are too many asides that get away from the point.

Starting by talking about how the suffering in the world bothers you isn't a strong way to discuss a challenge you've faced. I don't understand how this is a practical challenge. I would, personally, like to see a little bit more optimism, and at the very least, a bit more conviction that you are doing what you really want to and can make a change in the world!

The main purpose of this essay is to show how you approach challenges, take them on, and learn from them. Additionally, how does this challenge inform your future approach to similar challenges? I think your essay needs to be more direct and less ... fluffy.

Just my $0.02. 👍
 
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The challenge you faced was coming to terms with your own limitations, with how little you could do to fix the problems of the world. You overcame it by realizing that even though you could never do 'enough', what you can do could be worthwhile and important.

Just be sure to bring it down to earth --

Great advice here. You're given a forum to share an aspect of yourself with the adcoms as well as show a greater sense of maturity and realistic expectations about the profession of medicine. Though I feel very similar to you, my essay was a lot blander and less existential than yours. I'd make sure that ties into what you can do and how you hope to do that instead of dwelling on the reality of our broken world.
 
Ur fine brah.

For my biggest challenge essay I made up some garbage about a severely debilitating back injury with a poor prognosis (I did have an injury, but I recovered fairly quickly). Heh, I could probably have wrote about a fake dead grandma and nobody would have batted an eyelash.
 
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Two things:

1. I agree with the other posters. They want to see how YOU cope with problems, not that you're so rattled by the unfairness in general society that you decided to become a doctor. This seems more like PS material than an answer to that secondary question. Pick a specific problem confronting you and explain how you handled it and turned into something positive.

2. I'm sure you're very excited to go to med school, but that is not apparent in this essay at all. I read the entire thing with an Eeyore voice in my head. The adcom wants to admit students who are realistic about the world, sure, but who are also excited about their future careers! Going into medicine is a really amazing, exciting opportunity. You sound like a martyr, and you're not. You're really lucky.
 
What about wanting to marry my girlfriend, her having a very traditional father who decided she should do x, y, and z before marrying me (namely, get a job in her own country and some other things), me getting upset at that (i mean she could have defied her father), then calling & talking to a friend... this friend told me he had the same problem (he's now married, albeit to an american), and he told me to calm down in the coolest way and just deal... then i did that, and now I'm meeting her father for the first time in a few weeks, which is a VERY big deal for my gfs culture?

so its like, problem -> upset -> talk to friend -> calm down -> success

does the story sound reasonably good, like what theyd want?
 
What about wanting to marry my girlfriend, her having a very traditional father who decided she should do x, y, and z before marrying me (namely, get a job in her own country and some other things), me getting upset at that (i mean she could have defied her father), then calling & talking to a friend... this friend told me he had the same problem (he's now married, albeit to an american), and he told me to calm down in the coolest way and just deal... then i did that, and now I'm meeting her father for the first time in a few weeks, which is a VERY big deal for my gfs culture?

so its like, problem -> upset -> talk to friend -> calm down -> success

does the story sound reasonably good, like what theyd want?

MUCH better. That sounds like it could be a really great story.
 
I have another question:

How big of a gaffe was it to have written for many essays a stupid response (paraphrase):

I nearly failed out of high school but became an awesome student in college. I did this by becoming super organized (writing my schedule out, to the hour every day), seeking support from my family, and getting rid of my computer games.



This is a total paraphrase, it was like 1000-1800 characters, depending on the school

I considered this my obstacle, my challenge. Indeed it was, going from being a lazy, apathetic bum that played computer games so much, to a great student with scholarships. Not what they were looking for, but I didn't understand the prompt! Dear god, if I had known that they wanted to get an idea about how I dealt with things, if they had said this, "we need to know how you will deal with life as a doctor, so you don't spazz out and put arsenic in the attendings' drinking water," of course I would have related a different challenge. In my late 20s, of course I've had them and would have some good responses to address that!

I made this thread because, partway through the application cycle, I realized that I have made such a mistake--and I want to switch things up and get it right for the rest.

How forgiving are adcoms? Will I get thrown out most places if I make such a gaffe?

I ask because I'm preparing myself for potential doom on these secondary essays, and maybe adding some new schools to compensate for my idiocy.

Would submitting some more schools and rolling my dice elsewhere be the right idea?

Thanks.
 
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Two things:

1. I agree with the other posters. They want to see how YOU cope with problems, not that you're so rattled by the unfairness in general society that you decided to become a doctor. This seems more like PS material than an answer to that secondary question. Pick a specific problem confronting you and explain how you handled it and turned into something positive.

2. I'm sure you're very excited to go to med school, but that is not apparent in this essay at all. I read the entire thing with an Eeyore voice in my head. The adcom wants to admit students who are realistic about the world, sure, but who are also excited about their future careers! Going into medicine is a really amazing, exciting opportunity. You sound like a martyr, and you're not. You're really lucky.

About near died...

"Get these nuts out of my face."
 
I have another question:

How big of a gaffe was it to have written for many essays a stupid response (paraphrase):

I nearly failed out of high school but became an awesome student in college. I did this by becoming super organized (writing my schedule out, to the hour every day), seeking support from my family, and getting rid of my computer games.

I don't think that's a gaffe at all. You completely changed the way you think about and approach school. That's not easy to do, and it shows a lot of dedication and focus! You saw a problem with yourself and did what you needed to do to address it, and now you're seeing the results.

With all due respect to the average pre-med student, most 20 year old bio majors aren't leading lives wrought with hardship, so I wouldn't worry about needing a story that would make for a compelling Lifetime movie. I think being open and honest about what you've done to reinvent yourself in school and to change the path that you were on is a great story. 🙂
 
I don't want to come across as a jerk, you write very well, but I am not sure about how appropriate this would be as an answer to the prompt. While reading it you painted a picture in my mind of a college grad (which that in itself is a privilege) going out to help the less fortunate. Don't get me wrong though, thats great. The thing is, however, is that you didn't at any point in the essay describe how you overcame a personal problem. The psych patients, the poor kids growing up around drug dealers etc etc those are THEIR problems. When you felt ready you removed yourself from the situation back to the track of being a doctor and learned from your experience, which is a luxury the people who actually own those hardships don't have. You did a great thing, but I just don't see how you personally overcame to a point where it shows your resilient and extraordinary ability to overcome. Just my thoughts, good luck!
 
The essay is geared towards letting the admission committee understand how you cope with difficulty
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Why are you going into medicine rather than some humanitarian field? Sure doctors can treat patients, but they are hardly dealing with the social issues that seem to concern you. You should really figure out what you want to do before wasting money on this application process.
 
Why are you going into medicine rather than some humanitarian field? Sure doctors can treat patients, but they are hardly dealing with the social issues that seem to concern you. You should really figure out what you want to do before wasting money on this application process.

I think though that there are some extraordinary doctors who have been able to do both, and very successfully.
 
Why are you going into medicine rather than some humanitarian field? Sure doctors can treat patients, but they are hardly dealing with the social issues that seem to concern you. You should really figure out what you want to do before wasting money on this application process.

Medicine and humanitarian work have a long history of being done hand in hand. Just a few examples off the top of my head:

http://ghsm.hms.harvard.edu/
http://physiciansforhumanrights.org/
http://msf.org/
http://www.emergency.it/

Pretty sure there are doctors out there working on bigger social issues related to health...
 
Going back to your original post, I totally agree with other posters that it's not really appropriate for a general challenge essay.

However, many secondaries contain questions along the lines of "Based upon your personal life experiences, what do you foresee as challenges in medical school and in your future career?" or "What aspect of the preparation for becoming a physician did you find most challenging?". These prompts might be a good opportunity to write about not being able to help enough.
 
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