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For my secondary essay.
I may just be sensitive, but my biggest challenge isn't really something that goes away.
I hate very much the suffering in the world. To me, it is pretty pervasive, and there seem to be no solutions. I can do my small part, but that's it.
For me, it started while I volunteered. I was originally pre-med, but volunteering in a psychiatric hospital, it broke my heart to see the situation was so bad. I wrote a thesis about this, trying to understand the sociology of this psychiatric hospital.
After graduation, I decided to move to a very crime ridden area to understand more about the living situation of the kinds of people I saw at the psychiatric hospital.
This too was awful. I tutored little kids, I spent some time with drug dealers, I lived with a graffiti artist, I taught myself Spanish and read books to understand the situation. But I hated the situation, and it made me question the depth and, ultimately, superficiality of my own commitment to things in life.
On my own, I began to read a huge amount of history, sociology, and many of the great social thinkers. Eventually, I went back to the ancient authors to discover that these are old problems. I tried to apply what I have learned to thinking about the world and coming to terms with my own sense of it.
I am now in my late 20s, several years after graduating. I have returned to the idea of medicine, because I know the world is not perfect, perhaps not even good, but I still think I can have some role in making some people's lives better. Even if it is difficult to really help people and make the world better--maybe in some profound sense, it is impossible--I can still do my small part.
I have dealt with my sense that the world is not good through a kind of humble pragmatism and "letting go" when there is nothing I can do. I can meditate, I can reflect on it, I can try to conceptualize it, but it is always an irritation. I will always feel a certain sense of impotence. On the other hand, it is also one of the big reasons I am attracted to medicine.
I am worried that this could be a red flag, because I really cannot 100% come to terms with this problem. I am really also concerned that this is not a specific problem, and therefore it doesn't qualify as a conventional example. However, my specific problems are really quite stupid, and I don't consider them real challenges compared to a more general, existential challenge of living in a faulty world.
I am not a dour person, and I am not a super cheerful person either. I'd say I am average. I am not depressed. I just see life directly in the eyes--or at least I think I do. And goddamn this secondary application process, I can't seem to write these essays in a way that doesn't make me feel like an idiot.
Am I an idiot?
I may just be sensitive, but my biggest challenge isn't really something that goes away.
I hate very much the suffering in the world. To me, it is pretty pervasive, and there seem to be no solutions. I can do my small part, but that's it.
For me, it started while I volunteered. I was originally pre-med, but volunteering in a psychiatric hospital, it broke my heart to see the situation was so bad. I wrote a thesis about this, trying to understand the sociology of this psychiatric hospital.
After graduation, I decided to move to a very crime ridden area to understand more about the living situation of the kinds of people I saw at the psychiatric hospital.
This too was awful. I tutored little kids, I spent some time with drug dealers, I lived with a graffiti artist, I taught myself Spanish and read books to understand the situation. But I hated the situation, and it made me question the depth and, ultimately, superficiality of my own commitment to things in life.
On my own, I began to read a huge amount of history, sociology, and many of the great social thinkers. Eventually, I went back to the ancient authors to discover that these are old problems. I tried to apply what I have learned to thinking about the world and coming to terms with my own sense of it.
I am now in my late 20s, several years after graduating. I have returned to the idea of medicine, because I know the world is not perfect, perhaps not even good, but I still think I can have some role in making some people's lives better. Even if it is difficult to really help people and make the world better--maybe in some profound sense, it is impossible--I can still do my small part.
I have dealt with my sense that the world is not good through a kind of humble pragmatism and "letting go" when there is nothing I can do. I can meditate, I can reflect on it, I can try to conceptualize it, but it is always an irritation. I will always feel a certain sense of impotence. On the other hand, it is also one of the big reasons I am attracted to medicine.
I am worried that this could be a red flag, because I really cannot 100% come to terms with this problem. I am really also concerned that this is not a specific problem, and therefore it doesn't qualify as a conventional example. However, my specific problems are really quite stupid, and I don't consider them real challenges compared to a more general, existential challenge of living in a faulty world.
I am not a dour person, and I am not a super cheerful person either. I'd say I am average. I am not depressed. I just see life directly in the eyes--or at least I think I do. And goddamn this secondary application process, I can't seem to write these essays in a way that doesn't make me feel like an idiot.
Am I an idiot?