Biggest failure interview advice

[miaprgase0512]

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Hi all! Having trouble thinking of answers to this question. I was going to talk about a time where I failed at research and learned from it but I feel like thats a very typical answer.

I was wondering if it was too sensitive to talk about a friend dying from a drug problem and how I failed to help him. I still consider this a huge failure in my life, but don't know how interviewers will react to it. I did learn from it but just wanted to ask. Thanks!

 

[NotASerialKiller]

It might not be the best idea to highlight how you blame yourself for things that are outside of your control, there's plenty of opportunity for that in medicine. Framing it that way makes it sound like a better friend should have been able to save his life, and hopefully that was not the case (if it somehow was that's a different issue, but I doubt it).

 

[miaprgase0512]

It might not be the best idea to highlight how you blame yourself for things that are outside of your control, there's plenty of opportunity for that in medicine. Framing it that way makes it sound like a better friend should have been able to save his life, and hopefully that was not the case (if it somehow was that's a different issue, but I doubt it).

Ok that was my thinking, thank you! Is the research ok to talk about or is it cliche?

 

[mcatjelly]

Going to offer a counter-opinion. I didn't have any "biggest failure" prompt, but I did have a "biggest challenge" prompt and I chose to write about failing to prevent my friend's suicide attempt. I just made sure to acknowledge what I learned from the experience (i.e. that the only person's actions I can control are my own), and then applied how I coped with and grew from the experience to how I'll do the same as a physician.

So I don't see any problem with you discussing this in your own app as long as you effectively transition from "I felt like a failure" to "I've come to accept I did everything I could to help my friend and [etc etc etc]". Worked for me!

 

[CantStop_WontStop]

Is it too controversial to discuss my DUI ~6 years ago as my biggest failure? I know it's more of a mistake/stupidity, but I definitely view it as my biggest failure in judgment and challenge that I've had to overcome. It's also one of my greatest learning experiences too, as it caused me to completely change my life around, remove negative social influences from my life, and ultimately had a lot to do with why I decided to go college at the age of 26. @Goro @DrMikeP opinions please?

 

[baratheonfire]

Going to offer a counter-opinion. I didn't have any "biggest failure" prompt, but I did have a "biggest challenge" prompt and I chose to write about failing to prevent my friend's suicide attempt. I just made sure to acknowledge what I learned from the experience (i.e. that the only person's actions I can control are my own), and then applied how I coped with and grew from the experience to how I'll do the same as a physician.

So I don't see any problem with you discussing this in your own app as long as you effectively transition from "I felt like a failure" to "I've come to accept I did everything I could to help my friend and [etc etc etc]". Worked for me!

As someone who's been in your friend's position, I think it's pretty sad that you used someone's life to get into med school

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

As someone who's been in your friend's position, I think it's pretty sad that you used someone's life to get into med school

It's not okay to use a personal experience with a friend committing suicide to show that you are human and how you deal with loss and challenges? My nephew committed suicide, three shipmates of mine attempted it (and two that I didn't really know who succeeded), and I have no problem with someone talking about a similar circumstance and how that affected them. I tried for years to tell my sister and anyone else that her kid was in trouble and was going to either kill himself or get himself killed. None of them listened because they didn't want to believe it. I feel like I maybe could have done more, but I'm not sure what.

I won't write about it probably because it didn't take very long for me to realize that it was out of my control. But if I chose to write about it, I really don't see what the issue would be.

 

[DrHart]

As someone who's been in your friend's position, I think it's pretty sad that you used someone's life to get into med school

Don't think its a mature thing for you to pass judgement on someone else's experience, despite your own previous position. Hardship is all relative my friend. If someone talked about the death of a parent would you say the same thing? That you're just using someone else's life? I would hope not.

 

[LizzyM]

It's not okay to use a personal experience with a friend committing suicide to show that you are human and how you deal with loss and challenges? My nephew committed suicide, three shipmates of mine attempted it (and two that I didn't really know who succeeded) <snip>

Don't be too hard on yourself. Just an FYI: the preferred term is "had completed suicides" -- the psychiatrists in particular avoid using success and failure in describing suicide attempts.

 

[Goro]

Not at all!

Is it too controversial to discuss my DUI ~6 years ago as my biggest failure? I know it's more of a mistake/stupidity, but I definitely view it as my biggest failure in judgment and challenge that I've had to overcome. It's also one of my greatest learning experiences too, as it caused me to completely change my life around, remove negative social influences from my life, and ultimately had a lot to do with why I decided to go college at the age of 26. @Goro @DrMikeP opinions please?

 

[CantStop_WontStop]

Okay, thanks for the reply! I felt like this was a good place to discuss/own up to it, but wanted to make sure I wasn't writing my own rejection letter.

 

[mcatjelly]

As someone who's been in your friend's position, I think it's pretty sad that you used someone's life to get into med school

As someone who has never met me and who has no idea about my own mental health battles or how passionately I feel about the mental health field, I think it's narrow-minded to make that assumption about me.

 

[baratheonfire]

It's not okay to use a personal experience with a friend committing suicide to show that you are human and how you deal with loss and challenges? My nephew committed suicide, three shipmates of mine attempted it (and two that I didn't really know who succeeded), and I have no problem with someone talking about a similar circumstance and how that affected them. I tried for years to tell my sister and anyone else that her kid was in trouble and was going to either kill himself or get himself killed. None of them listened because they didn't want to believe it. I feel like I maybe could have done more, but I'm not sure what.

I won't write about it probably because it didn't take very long for me to realize that it was out of my control. But if I chose to write about it, I really don't see what the issue would be.

Don't think its a mature thing for you to pass judgement on someone else's experience, despite your own previous position. Hardship is all relative my friend. If someone talked about the death of a parent would you say the same thing? That you're just using someone else's life? I would hope not.

As someone who has never met me and who has no idea about my own mental health battles or how passionately I feel about the mental health field, I think it's narrow-minded to make that assumption about me.

Sorry about the earlier post. I just got a bit emotional since it brought me back to a painful time. I felt like it was me that was just reduced to a med school essay.

 

[mcatjelly]

Sorry about the earlier post. I just got a bit emotional since it brought me back to a painful time. I felt like it was me that was just reduced to a med school essay.

It's okay, I understand.

I've just been on both sides of the mental health coin (sufferer and loved one). Neither are desirable. When you really care about someone, their pain is yours.

But I truly am sorry you've had a painful history and that you felt objectified by my words. Not my intention.

 

[DrMikeP]

Is it too controversial to discuss my DUI ~6 years ago as my biggest failure? I know it's more of a mistake/stupidity, but I definitely view it as my biggest failure in judgment and challenge that I've had to overcome. It's also one of my greatest learning experiences too, as it caused me to completely change my life around, remove negative social influences from my life, and ultimately had a lot to do with why I decided to go college at the age of 26. @Goro @DrMikeP opinions please?

Actually I would say it is almost a necessity to discuss it some where, but definitely focus on it being a motivation for change and what you did to overcome vs coming across as blaming or excuse making about negative influences made me do it. If you don't discuss it then it may raise the question of are you trying to avoid or hide something or did you not learn from your mistakes. Think about how you learned and changed from that experience and how that will make you a better physician.

Good Luck

 

[CantStop_WontStop]

Actually I would say it is almost a necessity to discuss it some where, but definitely focus on it being a motivation for change and what you did to overcome vs coming across as blaming or excuse making about negative influences made me do it. If you don't discuss it then it may raise the question of are you trying to avoid or hide something or did you not learn from your mistakes. Think about how you learned and changed from that experience and how that will make you a better physician.

Good Luck

Thanks @DrMikeP. Any chance you would take a quick read of my response to the question and let me know if it's on par with what you're saying?