Bringing a spouse to an interview.

[medicine2006]

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Does anyone plan on bringing a spouse/significant other to an interview? Do certain places have programs for the spouse on the day of the interview?

 

[edfig99]

i don't have the exact answers to your questions, but you could always ask the programs. i will tell you that when i was on the interview trail, it wasn't uncommon for someone to have their spouse participate in all the interview day activites, including sitting in on their interviews -- the way they put it, it would be the spouse who would be the objective observer and could help the applicant rank the programs for the applicant when the time came... also when i was the interviewer, it wasn't uncommon to see an SO or spouse doing the same thing and it gave me the opportunity to answer questions that could generally sway an applicant one way or another. remember, that when there is a spouse or SO, choosing a program isn't a solitary decision so it's important to have as many viewpoints as possible, including the spouse.

 

[ThinkFast007]

Does anyone plan on bringing a spouse/significant other to an interview? Do certain places have programs for the spouse on the day of the interview?

i hear this is HIGHLY looked down upon...i forgot where i read it, it was either on the AAMC or ERAS or NRMP website. it was somewhere....

 

[lovemydrhubby]

Sorry I can't speak for MOST programs or "the norm"

I'm a spouse. I'm not planning to go to any interviews. The main reason I'm not travelling on the "interview trail" is because we have kids. However, if we didn't or travel costs were cheaper, I'd like to go visit the cities and look around. I would not go to the actual interview or medical center. I do want to be involved in the ranking decision...but I have different "needs" than he does when it comes to ranking a program. I don't think I would be able to have my questions answered if I went to the interview with him.

However, I hear with some of the more "family friendly" specialties- maybe peds and FP they do invited spouses.

One program I DO remember reading about: (this is for surgery, but as it was a campus wide group, I imagine it applies for any program at this location) University of Michigan/Kalamazoo. In fact, they invited spouses right on their main application info page. They said a rep from their spouse/family support group would meet them there and take them for a tour. I thought that was a really nice idea. Perhaps other programs that have a spouse support group would do the same if asked. It's definitely worth a shot.

 

[mosche]

I echo lovemydrhubby, while I think it would be fine to take your SO to look at the city/area, I think that it would be unwise to actually include them in the interview itself. I assume that the OP was referring to the city, not the interview proper--though I may be mistaken!

Anyway, I think that it is very important to include your SO in the process. Afterall, they will have to make their life in the new city also. Best of luck on the interview trail.

 

[f_w]

For a residency interview it would be highly unusual for a spouse to come along to the actual institution. Nothing wrong with taking your spouse along to get a glimpse of the cities you are threatening to drag her/him to. If a program has a 'social' part to the interview (dinner with residents), there is nothing wrong with bringing your spouse along.

(Later on, when you are interviewing for real positions, hospitals/practices will ask you to bring your spouse along and typically pick up their travel and lodging expenses. The number 1 reason why young physicians leave a practice in the first 2 years is an unhappy spouse who can't find work in the practice location. )

 

[edfig99]

it's actually NOT that unusual, and usually depends on the institution and field. while i have seen it more in FP and peds programs (for example, you can look up Hopkin's peds residency program and Fitchburg's family practice program where they encourage people to bring their spouses to the interviews) i have had colleagues do it for IM, surgical, and surgical subspecialty programs. also with the increasing emphasis on quality of life by applicants, and dwindling applicants in certain areas, programs are starting to "get it" and are being much more accomodating for things like this.

from the people who brought spouses they all said that the spouses were much more helpful in helping them choose a program than all those tables of "pros and cons" that they compiled after the interviews.

 

[Mom2five]

Very interesting....I could care less about the city...I can live anywhere...we lived in the Caribbean and the U.S. is the U.S. I am interested in finding a good fit for my spouse and would love to be able to at least be with him on the interview trail. It would put him at ease for sure. I'll have to do some research about actually sitting in on the interview. In my opinion, I could only help, I mean he's a Ross student...anywhere that would interview him in the first place won't freak out that he brought me.

 

[jamie]

For peds, my husband came with me to a few cities that he'd never been to so he could see them for himself. He came along for the dinners the night before (as did some other spouses), but I never saw a spouse at an actual interview -- I have to admit, that seems a little odd to me. My husband would always ask what I thought of the programs, pros and cons, etc, but I think he would have been bored out of his mind if he tagged along for the acual interview (I got bored myself).

 

[labruy69]

My husband is coming with me on 5 of my FP residency interviews. 3 of the programs asked specifically if he would come. The other two didn't, so I just called and asked if it would be ok. I don't plan to have him actually interview with me (unless the program wants him to), but I want him to see the city, hospital, and meet the residents. I was little nervous about asking the 2 programs, but I know they are not my top choices, so it didn't scare me as much. I'm glad I did ask though b.c 1 program was very happy to have him come and was very accomodating...they just moved up a notch on my rank list. The other program gave me a little bit of an attitude...confirming my gut feeling that I probably won't be happy there. I'm going to interview at that program and give them 1 last chance to show my what they have to offer me.
Now I just have to figure out what my husband should wear. Anyone have any suggestions?

 

[Sugar72]

UMich and vanderbilt specifically asked if I was going to bring a significant other, they have programs for them and tours of the city - this is in anesthesiology.

 

[APACHE3]

I'm interviewing IM and I've had several programs ask if I was bringing someone, so they could set up a program for them to show the city, etc. I won't be bringing my wife, but I think it's a nice thing for them to do. I havwe a family and schools, housing, jobs, etc will be very important wher I finally go! 😀

 

[LADoc00]

This would be unheard of in pathology so I would I stick to the squishy specialities if you need to bring along your moral support. It would be one thing if a spouse came and stayed in your hotel but bringing them to rounds/interviews sounds absurd. No one does this for other occupations, why would you do it for residency? In fact, Im sure if you showed for a path interview toting a clueless spouse it would be a one way ticket to the bottom of the rank list. That screams insecurity to me.

 

[Elysium]

Totally agree with LADoc. My SO is interviewing for IM this year and I can't imagine going to the interview with him! Actually sitting in there and talking to the RD and the residents? That just seems so lame. I think it's one thing to go the city and look around (if he gets interviews in Boston or NYC I'm definetly coming along - just for the vacation!), but it's another thing all together to drag your SO along to the actual interview with you. Who can afford all the traveling anyway?

 

[monkey7247]

Bringing my wife along with me, but not to the actual interviews. Only the social events and to see the city.

 

[cytoborg]

Bringing a sig other along on the trip to visit the cities would probably be fun, if you can afford it. However, a residency interview is still a job interview. It's business. It's professional. That's why you wear a suit. The interview is about YOU and your merits and your accomplishments and your career - it has nothing to do with your spouse. As for a pre-interview social event like a dinner or department mixer, it would only be OK to bring a spouse if they were specifically invited.

 

[Roadrunner]

There's an interesting story that the PD at my school tells about spouses on interviews. That a few years ago there was a guy who was a really strong candidate and the program was already pretty interested in him before the interview. On interview day he brought his wife along and she was the biggest pain in the a**. She interrupted people, asked questions at inappropriate times, criticized what small call rooms the programs had, etc. Well, as you might predict, although the program liked the candidate himself they ended up not even ranking him because his spouse left such a bad impression.

Even if you think your spouse will be an asset in figuring out where to go, think long and hard about whether it's critical to have him/her following you around during an interview.

 

[toofache32]

There's an interesting story that the PD at my school tells about spouses on interviews. That a few years ago there was a guy who was a really strong candidate and the program was already pretty interested in him before the interview. On interview day he brought his wife along and she was the biggest pain in the a**. She interrupted people, asked questions at inappropriate times, criticized what small call rooms the programs had, etc. Well, as you might predict, although the program liked the candidate himself they ended up not even ranking him because his spouse left such a bad impression.

Even if you think your spouse will be an asset in figuring out where to go, think long and hard about whether it's critical to have him/her following you around during an interview.

I've seen this several times. It's too bad because these candidates usually seem like good people, but they just let their wives walk all over them.

 

[kassie]

I could see coming to the city of the interview to check out the area and maybe social events but NOT the actual residency interview. That just seems strange to me. It is the interviewee who will be spending their waking moments there, sans SO/spouse. They should feel the atmosphere that way too. Also, there is a lot of minor etiquitte things that a SO not in the medical field can miss and tick off an interviewer.

My hubbie will not be joining me on interviews and he will have to apply for residencies wherever I match since he is 1 year behind (I'm doing a prelim year first so we will be moving at the same time). We'll talk about specifics together at rank list time and do the rankings together. I have a camera that I've taken pictures of neat area things and e-mailed it to him while chatting on the phone. He also trusts my judgement...

It never even dawned on me to bring him with me at all. He's too busy being a 3rd year!

JMO, but I don't think bringing one to an interview can do anything but hurt you.

 

[Chief Resident]

What if your SO is a hot young woman (who is mature and well-spoken), will the eye candy hurt or help your chances? I'm being serious with my question.

 

[robotsonic]

What if your SO is a hot young woman (who is mature and well-spoken), will the eye candy hurt or help your chances? I'm being serious with my question.

I doubt that would make a difference.

Seriously, though, it seems incredibly strange to me that there are people who would bring a spouse to an actual interview. That seems really unprofessional.

 

[toofache32]

What if your SO is a hot young woman (who is mature and well-spoken), will the eye candy hurt or help your chances? I'm being serious with my question.

Only if you share your candy with others.

 

[Fermi]

One program at which I'll be interviewing mentioned bringing a guest on a tour of the city after the formal part of the interview day is over. I think it would also be OK to bring a spouse to the "informal dinners" as they're more a quasi-social occasion, although the level of formality of the dinners probably varies.

 

[LADoc00]

What if your SO is a hot young woman (who is mature and well-spoken), will the eye candy hurt or help your chances? I'm being serious with my question.

I brought a hottie fashion model to a job interview, it was a long shot big money opportunity and I used her as a last ditch attempt to get the spot. The partners in the group bought her lots of drinks, flirted with her and the flipping job still ended up going to someone else anyway. She may have been too hot though, one of the partner's wives was getting all touchy feeling with her, I was getting the latent lesbian vibe from the whole thing. I dont think they asked me more than 3 questions the whole night, I realized 10 minutes into it, I had made a big mistake. My salary wouldve been double what is going to be this year, so I cried myself to sleep for month and vowed never to do it again. 😡

 

[medlaw06]

I brought a hottie fashion model to a job interview, it was a long shot big money opportunity and I used her as a last ditch attempt to get the spot. The partners in the group bought her lots of drinks, flirted with her and the flipping job still ended up going to someone else anyway. She may have been too hot though, one of the partner's wives was getting all touchy feeling with her, I was getting the latent lesbian vibe from the whole thing. I dont think they asked me more than 3 questions the whole night, I realized 10 minutes into it, I had made a big mistake. My salary wouldve been double what is going to be this year, so I cried myself to sleep for month and vowed never to do it again. 😡

Ahhh yes....only in LA man...only in LA!!

 

[LADoc00]

Ahhh yes....only in LA man...only in LA!!

Basically, I picked her up at the Katana on Sunset with the cheesey line "Can I buy you one drink, I would get you more but I have to be in operating room early tommorrow."