I know right lol but getting into tech is long shot. I don’t know if that will even happen. Lol
Current rate for new grad in retail is 56. I was offered 57. My friend was hired at grocery chain for 60 in Midwest. Yep, husband will have huge pay cut.
well he makes good money but not to point where we can find nice home. Nice home are 1.5 M + and I don’t think we can afford it.We still live like college students, nothing fancy. Only upside of this is that he can pay off my loans. I think moving to Midwest makes sense in long run as he won’t be making as much as CA but he can still make 100 K plus my income. We can also buy really nice house under 500 K. i have feeling I have better luck at finding nicer pharmacy job in midwest than CA. On top of all that we will be 30 min to hour from our family, that’s huge. Also, I feel like California has too many people and you have to pay for everything like everything. For example, you booked hotel room but you still have to pay for parking. Like what the heck lol There is so much more and yeah, small box looking houses are like 1.3 M in Santa Clara with no space around It. If I had family and house already there, I wouldt mind living there at all but here we are starting from scratch and I don’t see point of investing myself into 1 M house mortgage. Especially after my jumbo pharmacy school loans, I don’t plan on taking any more loans.I would rather wait to save 300-400 K house and pay cash than take loans. No loans for me in life now.lol
yes, I think you are so right. I think it’s more about what’s important to me than other stuff. I feel stuck at the position I am where I have to pick what’s important to me vs my marriage.
Okay, wow, this is a lot. Let's start here:
1) You said you were offered $57/hr, take it... it's better than unemployment. It also buys you time. If you hate it, suck it up for a bit while you plot your next move.
2) Are you planning to have kids? If yes, read on... You bring up a good point about you + husband's reduced income in the Midwest & COL being more advantageous than you + your husband's above average income in California. But what confounds this is your potential child care plan. With no family in CA, care would disproportionately fall on you (once your husband's paternity leave is used up, I'll assume it is one year paid leave based on what's common around here + state benefits).
If you move to the Midwest, is your plan to have your family do the bulk of the child care? Are you planning to hire a nanny while both of you work?
My concern would be, after moving out of California, if you have to exit the labor market for a time, the financial situation is such that your husband would be making far less, and you would be making zero. If no family is involved, it's almost as if you were better off in California, which in all likelihood has better parental leave benefits + FMLA protections once you've worked for at least a year (full time), not to mention your husband would be making enough to cover everything.
So, while yes, there is a fantasy thought that "everything outside of California is cheaper," you have to qualify that with specific financial details, and what you are planning to do with child care is an integral part of those details.
3) Finally, once you and your husband have settled into steady employment, begin to do serious research moving closer to your family, or if it's still acceptable, moving to a lower cost of living area that remains reasonably commutable for your husband. That could be the compromise needed here. You can even stay in the valley and look for larger homes with an accessory dwelling unit and rent it out, as laws tend to be fairly receptive to that.
I'm generally wary of high income individuals/couples moving to the central valley because...well... there's a reason those houses are cheap. The commutes are long, the crime tends to be higher, and the services that cater to high income individuals tend to be lacking in those areas. Things that we take for granted like same-day Whole Foods & Amazon delivery, dim sum, and specialty retailers (Peloton, Tesla, Apple, etc...) don't have presence there. Yeah okay I sound like a snob, but it is what it is.
You also lose the ability to network (once COVID is over) and hang around after work if your first priority is to hit the freeway on your hour+ ride home. Networking begets contacts, which begets income opportunity. The phrase in Spanish is "lo barato sale caro" or "that which is cheap, becomes expensive." While yes, you saved money on your big house... it's difficult to quantify and understand what you may have lost, because you don't know what you don't know.
So in closing, take the CA job offer that you have, go have loud and wild college dorm room sex with your husband, and then go on a hike in the Santa Cruz mountains or something of equal beauty. Settle in for a while, and plot your next move with clarity. Good luck.
