can i decline without burning bridges?

[mike99]

HELP!

I applied to dental school without being totally sure I wanted to be a dentist. I literally put everything together at the last minute-I applied and took my DATs after Christmas. There was a good deal of pressure from my family to apply-it was the topic of Thanksgiving dinner.

I was hoping to be sure of wanting to go to school by this time, but I'm not. Apparently 3 months was not enough time to figure out my life's goals. I've done some shadowing, but currently my feelings about dentistry seem to be mild interest at this point. I'd like to spend the summer assisting or volunteering. It's one thing to spend a few hours watching a few procedures, but it's another to spend 40-45 hours in a week staring into people's mouths. I want to make sure I can handle that.

Anyway, I was just accepted at a dental school(Tufts), but I don't feel ready to attend any dental school yet. I feel that if I attend without being 100% committed and motivated, I will be one of those people who drop out in the first year.

There are also financial reasons-both Boston and Tufts are very expensive. I cannot deal with roommates, so I would have to find an affordable apartment that I would live in alone-which I am having trouble doing so! I have very limited money right now.

However, if I decline an offer of admission, will I be burning bridges towards any future possibility of acceptance? How should I write any letter turning down an offer? I'm thinking of just going to dental school anyway and just hoping that I really want to do it because I don't want to risk burning bridges.

I'm also still seriously considering studying Pharmacy. In fact, I was all set on entering a Pharm.D. program until Thanksgiving dinner where my family told me I would be foolish to waste 4 years on a Pharm.D. when I could go to medical/dental school and spend 4 years to get something much more lucrative/prestigious. I see their point. I totally ruled out medical school a long time ago-I got totally turned off by the cutthroat pre-med mentality. Also, I have no desire to touch oozing things.

I really love drugs-I worked for a pharmaceutical company for a while and love understanding all the molecular mechanisms of how drugs work. I'd like to do clinical pharmacy, study drugs, monitor drug therapies, and do research and publish. However, money, prestige, independence, and job security are all factors that make pharmacy less desirable and make dentistry more so.

I would appreciate any advice that anyone could give. I know that I'm the idiot who got into this mess. If it's at all possible to extricate myself from it, I'm open to any suggestions.

Thanks!

Mike

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[dds2b]

Mike

By reading your message, it looks like you're more enthusiastic about pharmacy than dentistry. I'm not too sure if you're allowed to defer enrollment by a year or not, but write a letter and give it a shot. If you can't defer, what's the worse that can happen...
-you take a year off to weigh your options
-save up some money
-decide on dentistry because YOU want it and not because of family pressure
-since you live in Conn, why not apply to UConn and save a bundle on tuition
-hey you have the rest of your life to work, it's not gonna matter if you get into dentistry/pharm a year later.

And no, I don't think you'll be burning bridges by declining an offer...it'll make you look more mature in a reapplication by knowing you want to be a dentist for the right reasons. You're gonna waste a year and $60K if you do attend and figure out that you'd made a mistake.

Good luck on your decision!

[This message has been edited by dds2b (edited 03-11-2001).]

 

[gower]

If you don't want to go to dental school, don't! Your story reads like a shotgun marriage. You have to be your own person.
I have known students destroyed by being coerced into doing what their parents want, not what they want. In the end, everyone is unhappy.

 

[DrDMD05]

Mike,
dont worry about turning a school down. may of us here have applied to and been accepted to many schools. obviously we cant attend them all so we all had to write letters of decline. I wouldnt even mention why, just say
"Thank you very much for your letter regarding my acceptance to the &&*()&^^% School of Dental Medicine. I am honored to have been given such a position. I must say that your warmth and kindness was unmatched during my application and admissions process. Unfortunately, however, I deeply regret that I will not be able to accept"
and then give a reason like i chose another program (which could mean anything) then continue with ....
The &*^%$# School of Dental Medicine has an excellent reputation and it is with great regret that I will not be a part of your program. I wish the best of luck to you and to the University".

but do not ask for a deferment, i know that tufts doesnt allow it. dont worry about declining because they accept 450 people and only 147 take up the offer, so they are use to getting decline letters. just don't say why in YOUR case.
good luck and i agree with the other posters, if youre not 100 percent dedicated then it will be a mistake to attend dental school or any other professional school.

[This message has been edited by DrDMD05 (edited 03-11-2001).]

[This message has been edited by DrDMD05 (edited 03-11-2001).]

 

[mike99]

Thanks for the advice. I am definitely not ready to commit to dental school at this time. $60-$65K is a lot of money to spend on something that you're not sure you want. I'm still going to go on all my interviews though. It's good to see schools and decide on where to apply next year. The experience of interviewing couldn't hurt either.

I only decided about 3 months ago that I was interested in further education, so entering either dental or pharmacy school right now would be a rush. Looking back, applying this year was a mistake, but I only applied to a few schools in the Northeast, so I did not spend too much money.

I've done some observing at my dentist's office, and I'm spending some time over the next 2 weeks observing clinical pharmacists.
I'm going to try to get some sort of dental office experience-the schools that rejected me mentioned that they were concerned with my lack of dental office experience. When I apply again next year, I'll know what I want.
I'm going to spend this year doing some observing to know 100% what I want, and I'm also going to work and save some money. Also, I'm going to apply to UCONN again and try to get in. I was rejected from them because I applied so late in the process. They're the only school I can reasonably afford(I get in-state tuition being from CT).

I'm only worried about how to write a letter declining admission that still keeps my hopes alive to apply the next year. How exactly should I explain why I'm not enrolling this year?

Mike

 

[Dr. Pedo]

Mike,

First off---congrats on your acceptance to dental school. There are so many people that would die to be in your position!

I'm assuming you are a wonderful student and find the sciences interesting. It also appears you have a solid gpa and people that believe in your abilities. (e.g. recommendations for dental school.) You have worked hard to achieve all this----so take your time in deciding what you want out of life. Because it will be YOU---who has to wake-up every morning to DO it. Not your parents, not your wife, not your friends, not any one--- but YOU.

It sounds to me that Pharm. is what appeals to you. If so, then go for it! Don't let others interfere with YOUR decision on YOUR life. Choosing a career for prestige, wealth etc... is a recipe for disaster. You have to choose the career that you are passionate about-------if you follow anything but your heart and your passion, you will find that career more of a chore and that is no way to go through life. (Trust me on this one

)Heck, who is to say that you won't find a drug that solves a major epidemic and win some worldly recognition!

As far as declining and/or deferring...Be careful, this will be tricky. For dentistry: Having solid credentials (as you must have) you will most likely get accepted to UConn, next year. Especially after being accepted at Tufts and Boston. So you'll simply tell Uconn that you waited for them--that is why you needed the year off!

Good luck!
R.R.B

 

[mike99]

Yes, this was definitely a shotgun marriage. 3 months is not long enough to decide what to do with the rest of your life. To be honest, I was totally shocked that I was accepted somewhere-I expected to get rejections across the board given how late I applied.

Dr. 2b-do you have some experience with doing a career that you weren't passionate about?

I feel that I will be shortchanging myself if I study pharmacy, as interested as I am in it. I feel like I'll be underachieving if I'm good enough to go to dental school but "settle" for something lesser.

A good amount of motivation for dental school comes from what I admit is a bad reason. I read my high-school alumni newsletter and saw that several of my classmates who were ranked beneath me entered medical school. I guess it was the desire to beat my classmates that made me say, "If they can go to med school, damn it, I should go to dental school. I don't want to go to Reunion and have these guys having more money/prestige than I do. I'll be so embarassed if they're doctors and I'm only a lowly pharmacist." I know this is a very bad reason.

In any case, dental school will always be there. I have my whole life to work, so there's no need to rush in, except I'm not young-I'm already 25, I've already been working for a couple years, and I'm running out of time before I get old. I'll need to be very careful writing my letters declining any offers of admission I get since I don't want to burn bridges for next year. If anyone has advice on how to write these letters, that would be great. If I end up going to dental school, it will be when I'm ready and feel comfortable committing 4 years and $150K+. Hopefully I'll get into UCONN Dental if I decide to go to dental school.

Mike